It is mentioned, so therefore the theme.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock.  Day rant.  Not a speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Nowhere to go.  Short work week.  Steelers on a bye.  I have all day, people.  A couple days of being off.  Let’s do this.
2. I am not Peyton Manning, but let’s hope that the Broncos talking to the scoreboard operator has better luck than someone telling me what I should and should not post in this blog.
3. I need to sell some deals at work. I am hoping my present Jeep lasts long enough for me to afford a new vehicle, and I just saw THIS parked outside our condo.  THIS is what I am getting.  It is called the Altitude (version of Cherokee).  I am IN.  
4. I hope this vacation coming out of a shoe box is awesome. Lindsey and I are counting the weeks until we can stop putting weekly money in a box (increases by one dollar each week).  $48 goes in the box from each person this week.    How much will be in there for a vacation?  A good amount.  You do the math.  I think it is $2600, but Lindsey is in charge.  We are down to Brazil and Peru and Australia/ Fiji/ New Zealand.  New Zealand is winning.  Imagine how much MORE I will say “no worries, mate.”  
5. This is not out of bitterness of not being able to pick him up personally, but I would like to offer a hug for everyone who picked up Jordan Gray this week in fantasy and then found out that not only did they pick up quitter LeGarrette Blount, but also didn’t start Mr. Gray this week because of lateness.
6. I went from being predicted to lose in one fantasy league by FORTY FIVE to apparently losing by seven points. Bring it.  I have spent about 1 minute in trying to “find” players on the waiver wire this year.  I focus on picking my team, and then ride on the horse I have chosen, making only minor adjustments for bye weeks and such.  I am stubborn.
7. Blount has already scored today.
8. The only thing crazier than Federer FINALLY winning his FIRST Davis Cup title is that people outside of the tennis crazed fans USED to care about the Davis Cup. I am old enough to remember those days.  
9. Look at those SHORTS.
10. Pacquiao won decisively. Now let’s all focus on getting this Mayweather fight done, ok?  We need to do this, y’all.
11. I am from Jersey, but started saying y’all after ONE week in Virginia.
12. I can’t believe we have gotten to the point where people are picking Seattle at home in a LOSERS pool. Come on, people.  That is insane when there are like 5 other almost double digit point spread games out there.
13. In episode 3 of season #2 of Game of Thrones, I decided shit really has hit the fan. My midget guy is taking over this show, and this is about the best accidental description I can think of for it (actual footage of post GOT carnage).  
14. I am presently eating an entire block of havarti cheese if you care.
15. I know, JJ. Don’t get attached to any GOT characters.  I was warned.  But after losing Mr. Stark, I have now become attached to about 5 other characters.
16. And for the record, I like the wildling crazy chick, the dragon queen, the midget, Robb, and old dude who was a badass in Braveheart.  
17. I may or may not think while in Aspen that I have developed powers of telekinesis.  I moved something.  Deal with it.  It is only a matter of time until I can summon the remote control from 5 feet away like Luke Skywalker.  And that is really the only Jedi trick I would like to have.  
18. I am not lying about that. Just give me the remote control power.  If I had a dime for every time I set up camp and the remote was on the kitchen bar.
19. I wonder how much Ozzy Osbourne gets paid in royalties when Crazy Train is played at a sporting event. If my neighbor in Capitol Hill, John, gets $233 every time his 20 second Seinfeld appearance gets played, what would Crazy Train pay?
20. Before I jump on the “what’s wrong with the Cavs” bandwagon, let’s remember we said the same thing when Bosh, Wade, and James all got together the first year in Miami. To quote Aaron Rodgers, “relaaaaaaax, everyone.”  Basketball is stars…and chemistry.
21. Hook #17? You should see my notes.  This is a 150 day.  I feel it.
22. Random Aspen notes will dot this rant/ catch (still deciding on the name change). Thanks to Steve for sharing his time share once again.  We love that town.  Note #1.  I would highly recommend Over Easy for breakfast in that town.  Everyone has some accent from Norway, plenty of sea-egg stuff on menu, and the atmosphere is awesome.  This is the first morning there with Lindsey, her sister, and Josiah.  Yes, Josiah woke up. 
23. And you can go to my favorite place, Square Grouper right after. More on that later.  Talking about the Square Grouper could be a rant in itself.  
24. When I play Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog, as I have said before, it means I am really, really hungry.  
25. When someone says the word “tatanka,” I end up saying it about 100 more times over the next day. Dances with Wolves, people.  So good of movie, that the sequel they made was called Avatar.  Same story with blue people.  
26. My company uses Sales Force the most a private company does pretty much in the world. I have had Sales Force dreams for years.  If you can imagine it, I am now having Sales Force combo dreams with Game of Thrones.
27. The downer about Aspen was we were there the day BEFORE the slopes opened. For me?    No.  I just like sitting at the bar at the base and watching the rich people come down in their North Face and Patagonia jackets.  
28. 80% of my judging on a room is with the shower. Our room had three nozzles, steam, and if it wasn’t Aspen, I might have just stayed in the shower for 36 hours.
29. My new thing. Peter Dinklage in GOT has a classic quote about every 30 seconds of face time.  Today’s?  “Schemes and plots are the same thing.”
30. I will be depressed when I catch up on GOT episodes and am just waiting until April like everyone else.
31. I didn’t have time (or energy) to see Hunger Games this weekend, am still going to see it next weekend, but am trusting Deadspin in their review and know I don’t need to lose any sleep about it.
32. I will be surprised if any team outbids or out-persuades the Red Sox on Sandoval. Random thought.  Dude is literally getting paid for his postseason stats.  He is like the baseball version of Claude Lemieux.  
33. When someone says I am wrong that MLB players are overpaid, my most recent example would be the White Sox offer to Adam LaRoche of 2/$25 million.
34. I never thought I would say this, but poor RGIII. It comes out via the media that he now might get the hook if he plays badly, and the next game on the schedule is San Fran, a quality, hungry team with a good defense fighting for a playoff spot?  That is just wrong.  Poor lad couldn’t pull the Jags or Raiders?
35. Once again. Articles are always more fun on Deadspin.  http://deadspin.com/rg3-is-making-everyone-insane-1660251192
36. There is a Princess Bride book out? Put THAT on my Christmas list.  
37. Are the Seminoles going to start coming out before a game to Devil Went Down to Georgia, because it is pretty apparent to me that Fisher or Winston have made a deal with the devil?  HAD to.  This comeback stuff is getting a little ridiculous.  
38. I respect the trick play call by the BC coach when it was 17-17. Some may say that it was dumb and chancy, but a team HAS to play balls to the wall when you are outmatched obviously talent wise.
39. Nine more carries than Gordon, but the OU Perine 427 yard performance was legendary. I LISTENED to it (driving back from Aspen), and it SOUNDED amazing.
40. That didn’t stop me from giving Lindsey and her dad the devil’s advocate dance with Gordon, but they know I was just rattling their cage. If he was still in with like 2 minutes left in game, I would have had a problem with it.  Record is legit and classy in my book.
41. One important distinction though. One guy did it against a good team, and one did it against a very bad team.  Just saying.
42. Of course, the performance against Minnesota yesterday might distort that truth a little. Or, maybe Minnesota is just a good team.  I support the latter thought.  And my boy, Cerk, went to the horrible place of Nebraska to WATCH his guys win-probably a good day.  
43. He doesn’t read this thing anymore.  He won’t notice his pic on my blog.  He is kind of like my work pledge brother.
44. I would like to have a beer with Lost Lettermen on Twitter. You could literally just read his Saturday tweets on college football day and fall off the couch.  Check out this kid with glasses.  
45. Iowa and Iowa State just are mosquitos. People might discount the Wisconsin win at Iowa, but that team will play you until the final whistle.
46. Tonight’s Giants-Cowboys game is a trap game.  Eli lights them up.
47. If the Big 12 gets left out of the college football playoff this year, it will take about 10 minutes for them to organize divisions and a championship game for NEXT year.
48. Tiger admits to hiring a “swing consultant.” God forbid if you call someone a COACH, El Tigre.  Come on.  You have sucked, and you need a coach.
49. Arkansas will be SOLID next year and a top 15 team.  They have reloaded and those kids will be more mature.  They beat the HELL out of Ole Miss yesterday.
50. And great smarts, Ole Miss kid. Don’t get in a fight after a bad game when you have the Egg Bowl next week.
51. Ohio State is one of the most confusing good teams I have seen recently. Either that, or Indiana really has improved this year.  But seriously?  Your LOSS was at your crib to a VA Tech team that really has just been treading water for the remainder of the year?
52. Messi broke a record. Lindsey asked me what La Liga was.  I admit to trying to answer, and then explaining that I really didn’t fully know.  I am country, people.  Not club.  I can hold a conversation about club, and can light you up by naming every single World Cup winner…ever.  And I HAVE done that.
53. If you would have told me two TOP, TOP flight jobs like Michigan and Florida (football) would BOTH open up in the same year before the season, I would have said you are crazy.
54. One other thing about that Minnesota-Nebraska game. I didn’t go to CU, but it still brings a smile to my face to see Nebraska people in pain because of their football team.
55. At least your basketball team is in the top 25 after this week. You know.  That sport where you dribble a ball and try to get it in a cylinder?
56. I got halfway through one sentence about Tim Tebow giving some woman a piece of cake and making her cry…and then stopped reading.  
57. I would like a drone, Deadspin.  http://stacksocial.kinja.com/pre-order-exclusive-55-off-the-code-black-drone-w-hd-1654124146
58. I don’t know how they do it, but Deadspin had a full article on the Winston ref shove HOURS before ESPN or other sites did.
59. Lindsey has a new iPhone. She decided to talk to her new phone.  That phone voice chick not only has a sense of humor, but knows some sports too.  She likes Kentucky basketball if you are curious.
60. Interesting question. Lindsey asked me if I was a top basketball recruit right now where I would go to college having pick of the litter.  Has anyone noticed 50% of good basketball schools are in the middle of nowhere?    Indiana.  Kansas.  Kentucky.  Anyway, I think I would probably pick UNC or Indiana.  Maybe Florida because I like Donovan.  Actually, my first answer was where I went to school in reality.  I would pick Charlottesville again any day.  
61. Aspen was cool, and we had fun even though Lindsey forgot her purse and ID. Big downer?  Justice Snow is my #1 ranked burger in the entire world.  We got ID’d at that place.  No Bueno.  The cows are down the street (think of a lobster place where you pick your meal choice), the happy hour is ridiculous for being in Aspen, and the burger is off the charts.  Whatever you usually eat ON your burger?  You don’t need it with this burger.  
62. Jesse owns the Square Grouper. He tolerates me coming in every 3-4 months and playing the same 4 songs on the piano (Jump, Piano Man, Beethoven’s Rocket Sonata, and some made up crap).  Anyway, he is the shit ON the piano along with owning my favorite bar.  All four of us talked about how a highlight was him randomly busting out the theme song from Jurassic Park.  He is awesome.  I promise to get my Roland and know more songs before my next trip, bro.  
63. By the way, if I wanted to start a rafting company in CO, I would call it Veloca-Raft-er.  
64. You meet famous people in Aspen. I apparently met the backup keyboardist (I didn’t know bands had those) for Phish.  He was an absolute dick.  When telling me who he was, I told him it would be a pleasure to hear him play a song.  He told me he gets paid $50k to play the keys.  What a dick.  Can’t enjoy just playing for the cause of PLAYING PIANO?  That would be like LeBron visiting his old high school and not playing a freaking game of HORSE with a kid. 
65. We talked about naps the other day. I like the concept of naps, want to take naps, but admittedly am a bottle of energy that can’t take a break on a fun day.
66. Plus, I am 41. Naps are dangerous.
67. No comment on when I turn 42.
68. Who the hell ARE the UCLA Bruins? I have an idea.  Let’s change the schedule and have TCU play Baylor again, and Ohio State play UCLA, and THEN we will know something.
69. That is a heck of an idea, outside of planning and logistics. Have an open date on each team’s schedule, and then solve the confusion by allowing teams in top 15 to play each other.  I should be on TV or something.
70. Being in a hot tub in Aspen…just is right.
71. Thanks, Kobe, for telling us what we already know. You will give NO home town discounts.  I drove by Eagle Vail on my trip and thought of you.  By the way, Eagle is like the only ugly town in Colorado and it doesn’t have any skiing.
72. Just put having a drink at Hotel Jerome on your bucket list. Place just bleeds Aspen.          
73. I am not a photographer and am very aware that blurry pics are what I do.
74. Stay at the Hyatt Place in Aspen. What is UP, Stew?  Years ago, we arrived with me needing to go see my Steelers.  That began the relationship with The Square Grouper.  Awesome pool and hot tub.  I have already mentioned the showers.
75. Eat at the Hickory House…for breakfast. I was actually the only person who didn’t get ribs with my eggs, but I had a taste, and it was delicious.
76. Lindsey and I bought Loki jackets at the Taste of Colorado this past year. We still love having a couple cocktails and showing all of the bells and whistles with our jacket.  It compresses into a tiny backpack.  It is like the outdoor version of the Jetsons.  
77. You know the hotel room is out of hard alcohol, beer and even Listerine when I resort to drinking wine.
78. UVA beat Miami in football, meaning we are one win against rival VA Tech from being bowl eligible. If you missed the catch in that game, just keep watching SportsCenter for plays of the week.  By the way, if you were watching the game, ESPN would like to apologize to the audience for everyone and their mom CLEARLY hearing “Stop blowing the f&*(*&& whistle, ref.”
79. One other royalty question. How much does Mr. Idol get paid during this resurgence of the cheesy song that will never die?  Mony, Mony.
80. Cradle of Love was better, just so you know.  
81. Ireland wasn’t very “friendly” with USA soccer, were they? 4-1?  Do I need to be concerned for the next World Cup?
82. I bet you are all going to be sad that I don’t feel like talking about Adrian Peterson. Moving on.
83. We are at the break in games, and Lindsey just changed the channel to New Girl. You would think I would mind.  It is the first bit of the second round of games, and the show is actually not irritating.  Funny show.  Plus, I need to let her have control on a Steelers bye, I need to pump out this blog, and I plan on knocking out two more episodes of GOT later.  In addition, they are doing some funny scene with three dudes in a tent singing Foreigner and Lionel Richie Hello.  
84. We were in a pool. I like dunking people.  What I didn’t know was that dunking your fiancée and getting hair wet costs you 45 minutes in prep time of going out in Aspen.
85. I don’t care if the Stanton/ Marlins deal is “backloaded.” It is still too long of contract.  It is still too much money.  It is just plain silly.
86. So, Mr. Mitchell from the Steelers first gets berated for jumping over the line late in a game. Then, he goes on Twitter and starts replying to hating fans.  Be careful, bro.  Things happen in three’s.  
87. Aaron Rodgers was humbled by Magic calling him similar to Larry Bird. I am still confused about the randomness of that comment from Magic.  
88. I can’t believe the Broncos are blacking out the Arizona-Seattle game.
89. I like kids. I don’t like criminals.  I am a good person.  Am I wrong for kind of hoping that Dwight Howard gets busted for child abuse?  I need a flow chart.  
90. I see that we are now discussing the move the Spurs will make to replace Tim Duncan. Gasol?  Can I enjoy the season first?
91. This is cool. http://deadspin.com/apparently-making-phone-calls-is-the-cardinals-way-1660378903
92. I am betting Cam Newton did something dumb in that whole Twitter story. Just a hunch.  Shad-eee.
93. Marcyk’s is such a dangerous store to go to after a drink or two.  
94. The bartender said something so cute. She doesn’t know football, and she said “Yes, Peyton.  We hear you. Oklahoma. ”  No, Chris.  OMAHA.
95. The Broncos are at home, and it just started to snow, meaning the stereotype of how it always snows in Denver…continues.  We have the best weather.  Don’t believe the rumors.
96. If you do know basketball, this might be the funniest thing you read today. If you do not, it is still worth the click.  http://deadspin.com/the-philadelphia-76ers-are-a-godless-abomination-1659664618
97. I am not doing 150 hooks. I need to do stuff in MY day too.  Let’s go speed version.  Fun is fun, but I have to allocate time for Game of Thrones while the Giants are beating the Cowboys tonight.
98. By the way, it is happening. Instead of ME begging Lindsey to watch GOT instead of football, SHE just asked.
99. That was multiple sentences.  Starting NOW.
100. I find it odd that Marshawn Lynch won’t get on a mic but WILL drive to a random person’s house to return a wallet.
101. I find it odd that the Bills would pay people $10/hr to dig out there stadium instead of digging out…the city.
102. I find it odd that Delonte West suddenly can’t make a Chinese basketball team’s roster.  
103. I find it sad that Jason Collins became a legend but it only lasted as long as it did.
104. I find it genuine and nice that the Raptors finally have accepted Vince Carter as a good guy.
105. I find it funny that train wreck Lance Armstrong not only quits during a beer drinking cycling race, but entered in the first place.  
106. I find it realistic that the Cardinals can still win the Super Bowl with Drew Stanton.
107. I find it odd that Tiki Barber is talking shit about Coughlin from his seat on the sideline.
108. I find it odd that I don’t care more about the anniversary of the Palace travesty in the NBA.  
109. I find it odd that I care so little about the Saints ball thief story.
110. I find it BS that Ahmad Brooks thinks he didn’t quit on his team.
111. Ben Tate will be the starter for the Vikings next season.
112. I like the statement the NBA made with the 24 game suspension of a guy who people had to Google.
113. 24 games sounds like a lot, but it is really just the equivalent of a 4-5 game suspension in the NFL.
114. I am tired of hearing about whether Rondo will or will not be traded from the Celtics.
115. The Broncos are losing, and this is NOT a trap game…because it is AFTER a trap game at St. Louis.
116. I take back my Adam LaRoche comment, as I think the A’s giving Butler 3/$30 million is much worse.
117. I firmly believe that Oregon is the best football team in the nation now.
118. This is beyond incredible. http://deadspin.com/sore-loser-table-tennis-kid-just-straight-shoves-umpire-1660871866
119. This is horrible as football dudes SHOULD be able to get their chicks on their own. http://deadspin.com/six-hs-football-players-suspected-of-raping-girl-in-woo-1660835293
120. Find the longer version-it is funnier. http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/segments/11696
121. Marcus Mariota got a speeding ticket and my boy, Lost Lettermen, was all over it.
122. Hubie Brown announced a game the other night, he is the most incredible announcer ever outside of every hockey announcer, and my co-worker, Bryan, and my boss are crazy for saying he is past his time.  
123. Did anyone else read the story about the girlfriend of Michael Phelps being a man, and if so or not, do I REALLY need to make a joke about it?
124. Muschamp wants to coach in 2015, I am glad he is still talking from his bunker, and I think he needs a year off.
125. The Nuggets beat the Thunder?
126. I somehow never go below 470 Twitter followers, never go above 500, and I just think that is amazing.
127. Mathematically, that just seems weird.
128. If you ever hear the word “Aspeny,” I invented it.
129. I think Dane Cook is one of the top 10 funniest people walking the earth.  
130. I truly, TRULY hope this UNC academic scandal thing doesn’t buck the legend that is Dean Smith.  
131. I think Tim Howard won US Soccer POY just because of his amazing performance in the World Cup.
132. There is really a rapper named DJ Mustard (picturing young kids sitting around a table pondering names for their new star)?  
133. That is like when I was 7 years old, trying to come up with the most original dog name ever, and coming up with “Pepsi.”
134. I drove Lindsey’s A4 on the way back from Aspen, and definitely would recommend the ride.
135. Chicks put makeup all over their face and call it a foundation?
136. I remember the foundation-it was a place in the cornfields I used to drink at in New Jersey.
137. Why aren’t ice tongs larger so you can grab more than two cubes at a time?  
138. Jimmy’s Mac and Cheese in Aspen just made my top 10 rankings of all time, and that is a very important list.
139. For the 3000^th time, Ice Tea’s “It was a Good Day” might be the baddest rap song of all time and please feel free to celebrate January 20^th with me now that we know what day it was.
140. Independence Pass being closed adds SO MUCH time to the Aspen car trip.  
141. I hung out with Josiah, and I am convinced that he knows more about music and random things in life than you, me, Lindsey, Avery, all of you readers, and the entire rest of the population.
142. I think when I am in Vegas next, I might throw $20 on Arizona winning the football national championship next year.
143. I can’t turn off the TV if I find Bourne on the guide even though it sits right by my TV on DVD.  
144. I am not GREAT with money, but HOW is this possible? http://bluejacketsxtra.dispatch.com/content/stories/2014/11/20/blind-sided.html
145. I get the feeling that Syracuse basketball fans MIGHT need some hugs this season after living with perennial greatness.
146. Watch they win it all oddly like UCONN last year.
147. I am skipping the items labelled “68 thermostat, ride the bus, bullshit, and tornado list” as I have no idea what I meant.
148. I believe the Yankees will somehow pull Max.
149. I believe that Serena Williams should retire after getting POY to do a semi-Elway.
150. Because NO one can pull an Elway.
151. Well, Clemente accidentally pulled on when he died after hitting 3000 hits.
152. That was rude, but wasn’t meant as rude.
153. That is it for sports. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.
154. Out of the sports world, here are the remainder of my horrible Aspen pics.                            
155. There is a drug store that has everything that can possibly pop into your head.  Here is a pick.    
156. Out of the sports word again, here are what I understand are called “engagement photos.” I never knew they existed.  Don’t like?  Get your own blog.  Cheesy?  Sure.  But I don’t actively do Facebook, so it is what it is.  This is my lady.                                          
157. Finally, I just thought I would make this 150 hooks. Quoting my favorite line of all time outside of the Lincoln-years quote, what did one shepherd say to the other shepherd?  Let’s get the flock out of here.