How can it NOT be him?

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Wednesday night rant.  Super speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

EMAIL: mark_filler@hotmail.com

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  One sentence speed version.  Plan is a rant tonight, a Catch tomorrow, and a long happy hour one Friday before Lindsey comes home.  For newbies, it means I have to encapsulate my thought on a topic in one sentence and one sentence only.
2. “Encapsulate”-fancy.
3. JJ, pops.
4. Dibs to JJ for coming up to me at work yesterday and saying “pops.”  He ALSO has not heard from my co-blogger, Mr. Royal-Army shit must be locked ON.
5. One sentence starting NOW (Seinfeld fans get that).
6. My favorite two things in life after my family and my woman are A) blogging when Family Guy is in the background, and B) blogging while Bill Walton is announcing a game.  
7. Boom goes the dynamite. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no
8. Bill Walton always loses his train of thought, and says things like “that is the greatest cross court pass by a left handed shooting guard born west of the Mississippi who is shorter than 6’3” that I have ever seen.”
9. I am a dumb doctor as I work ALL the time…except when I am playing.
10. Just read Deadspin-I didn’t have time this week as I have too much work to do.
11. The Big Unit backs Edgar Martinez as a HOF’er-CONCUR, DH or not.  
12. Ali is out of the hospital and a worldwide icon and GOAT makes us all very happy.  
13. Kaepernick hired Kurt Warner, and I am excited to hear stories like Karate Kid how stocking shelves helped his delivery.  
14. They found OJ’s stolen Heisman 20 years later, and I am hoping it was found in the back seat of a white Bronco.  
15. Hey-I never said I was funny.
16. As long as I am funny to me, since it is why I write a blog.
17. Squinston will enter the draft, meaning Goodell is now his problem.
18. …while FSU has a civit suit against them.
19. I am not sure if I care that Tiger plays any event in an announcement until he shows 50% of who he used to be.
20. Melo trusts in Phil’s plan, and the part of the story that we didn’t read is that Phil doesn’t trust in HIM.  
21. Ben, do you still read this-text me the word “watertaxi” if you do.  
22. The Giants fired a guy to make Giants fans think that change will…DO things.
23. I will write a separate blog on the World Cup of Cricket-betting on India.
24. UVA woke up in the second half to take NC State, and this weekend’s ND game will be EPIC.
25. Walton is talking about sweet grass from Montana…not sure why, nor is anyone else.  
26. He just said “Nothing like the sweet grass of Montana,” meaning he has partied in Montana.
27. Dammit-I haven’t.
28. Did UVA fans during the NC State game really chant “shots, shots, shots, shots, shots” during a free throw?  
29. Overcooked spaghetti for twirlers like myself can be overcome by cutting the spaghetti up and having chunky tomato sauce on it.
30. Rodgers will play this week, but did not practice, and I think if I am a Green Bay fan, I believe him.
31. The Cavs acquired Mozgov, Blatt’s ex-player, good pickup, but we are still laughing about the JR Smith trade.  
32. I am glad there is a Schottenheimer at SOME prominent place.
33. The Broncos are not worried about Manning’s health because it would cause a riot in Denver before the game.
34. Just kidding as no one gets mad at anything in Colorado.
35. Bama picked up a guy from UGA who got dismissed for sexual assault, and we are about two more years of Bama not winning from being able to pick on them again.
36. Beckham will replace Megatron in the Pro Bowl, and the game is such a joke that maybe we could just stop play and watch him kick field goals on a spinning football.http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/page/instantawesome-beckham-141201/odell-beckham-jr-follows-amazing-catch-field-goal-many-kickers-miss
37. Geez, I like regular readers.
38. I recommend when you go to Vegas on vacation that you have your piggy jar FULL of change on the kitchen bar when you get home…it will make you happy.
39. I have NFL preview on my list, but I think that will be the hook for tomorrow.
40. I have “Boston Marathon trials Jan 26^th” on my list, and not sure if I was supposed to train or not.
41. ND beat UNC, and OU killed UT, and I still think ALL four teams are Sweet 16 material.
42. UT JUST got their PG back-give them a break.
43. The state of Virginia will PAY beekeepers to be…beekeepers.
44. Not enough money in the world, folks-I choose to not be allergic and horrified of them and will run faster than Mr. Bolt to get away from them.
45. Not lying-I scream like your 8 year old daughter and am NOT embarrassed.
46. I was going to put a picture of a beehive, but it would bother me.
47. You think the Sixers beating the Cavs had ANYTHING to do with the Cavs taking on JR Chucker?
48. Is that really Rob Lowe as the meathead and can we just give him a commercial Oscar if they exist?
49. Matt, I liked it independently, but concur, BRO.  
50. I don’t know what the red circle is for.
51. I laughed out loud when Family Guy the other night had BET ET on a scene…gray area, and I can’t reproduce.
52. But I can do a pic, right?  
53. Dirk is #7 on the all time NBA scoring list, and we will tell our kids about him.
54. Well, you will be telling YOUR kids…I will just be telling our dog (once we have a backyard).
55. Joseph (brother’s kid), does my brother let you read this yet? ( I wouldn’t let him as I am kind of a wildcard, but text me “rantsquad” if you do)
56. Joseph is an awesome kid and excelling in everything that I hear, my brother is amazing and learned a little too late all that he taught me, and I am still learning how to be a good uncle as I am still very immature.
57. You are still in my thoughts every single morning, Joseph.
58. I would say 20 or so age wise…maybe 27 on my peak level of maturity nights.
59. I go to work early partly because I love to be the first person to work and partly because I want no one on the streets when my Jeep breaks down.
60. Bill Walton is talking football, but I still think he is thinking about Montana sweet grass.
61. If I had to guess, I would say Dorial Green-Beckham might be the biggest waste of NFL talent in history.
62. As long as we are on superlatives, Bill Walton just said “the greatest of all time” about something about Colorado basketball.
63. The other guy just interrupted Bill Walton and said “you can tell me that story OFF the air so we can spare our listeners.”  
64. MJ is officially a billionaire-kind of assumed he was back in the early 2000’s.
65. Must be harder to be a billionaire than I thought.
66. I am pretty sure I am happy how my new Droid Turbo works, but also pretty sure I don’t know what it does.
67. When I get a voicemail, I wait 30 seconds, and it just spells it out in text.
68. That is 1984 weird.  
69. Bill Walton just busted out the classic “are you old enough to remember…”
70. I hate Urban Meyer like I hate Phil Mickelson (not sure why), but VERY cool that someone figured out how to pay players by getting their families to the championship game…and he was happy.
71. Phil Mickelson’s wife-how do I hate him?  
72. I hate that Harbaugh is saying Flacco is the greatest QB in the league, but 5-0 in last postseason games, 116.6 rating in those games, and 10-4 overall makes him…Eli Take 2.
73. Killing three birds with one stone is busting Jerry Jones somehow, busting Chris Christie somehow, and the Cowboys losing this week.
74. I would tell you about Mr. Motiejunas squatting 135 pounds, but did Deadspin take that off the site-don’t have the time to double check.
75. I hate how on FoxSports wireless if I read a story and hit back, it takes me back to the home page at the top.
76. Lindsey thinks I only go to happy hours on school nights when she is away, but I don’t think she gets how MUCH I love going to a bar after work, talking to no one, and reading the paper or an ESPN Mag.
77. Bill Walton is now talking about the dinosaur national monument…oh Lord.  
78. Yup, I can see that a good place to do pot, Bill.
79. I like how Tom Brady complimented Terrell Suggs right before the game.
80. More Bill Walton-he just said “the desert is where the tangibles and the mythical become the same.”  
81. If you don’t get that reference, than you weren’t depressed True Detective went off the air and just started watching the next Sunday show in its place.
82. Please, no more post Lions-Cowboys refs’ calls talk.
83. Not like a Buster Douglas moment, but kind of sad that the baddest man in the world got busted for pre-fight drugs #jonjones
84. I just hashtagged in a hook and not sure if that does anything overall.
85. I tweeted this several times, but when you have a chance for an upset and you know the other team is MUCH better, call a freaking timeout when you have a chance to win OR tie #olemissbasketball
86. Iowa State basketball will make the Sweet 16, and The Mayor is one of the best coach-player nicknames EVER.
87. Time has healed wounds, and if we say hypothetically 50% of all players were doing steroids during that time, we might as well vote the best in #clemens #barrybonds
88. Bonds was good enough for the HOF before he got a big head anyway.
89. Clemens too.
90. Big head physically-Bonds always had a big head cliché wise.
91. The Sooners fired someone just to make fans that they mean business.
92. Big Ben is looking for a new contract, and I say yes-if we kept him after raping a chick and crashing a motorcycle, then sign him after a 4900 yd season.
93. I would like to have a beer with a bat in my hand and no security for anyone who didn’t vote for Randy Johnson or Pedro Martinez-maybe a small irritating hammer for Biggio or Smoltz.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwpRHrAh3pk
94. It is nice being #3 and undefeated in basketball, because I don’t have to leave my couch to watch the Hoos.
95. Shit-Lindsey is away in Florida, Bill Walton is announcing, and my Direct TV just warned me that it may or may not record that horror story show she likes-big decisions.
96. I need Bill Walton.
97. I have summarized one of my New Year’s resolutions into just saying by July 4^th, I will be able to do “the flag.”
98. My brother knows what that means…maybe September, Matt.  
99. I am actually serious about that, mind you.
100. Debbie (Lindsey’s mom), if you still read this, text me “goldendoodle.”
101. Steve (Lindsey’s dad), if you still read this, text me “boomer sooner.”
102. Dad (my dad-lol), if you still read this, text me “I am an angler, not fisherman.”
103. Sorry, Lindsey, I didn’t record that horror story show-I NEED Bill Walton.
104. The Pistons are now 6-0 without Josh Smith, and on Twitter you can find #joshsmitheffect
105. My VP at work killed some pheasants, we finally ate them, we once again proved Lindsey is an incredible cook whether she has cooked something or not, and I was MOST impressed by the fact that microwave reheating STILL tasted good.
106. Thanks, Ross.
107. I have decided on my third watching that 21 Jump Street is pretty damn funny.  
108. I would only expect Riverboat Rivera would somehow have a house fire right before his playoff game.
109. I will believe this LA stadium thing when I hear more about it-are they going to have LATE parking up close for apathetic fans?
110. I am not cracking on LA fans as I hear from Bill Simmons that once the playoffs begin, they are ALL about basketball.
111. You of course have to be out of the lottery to feel that.
112. I have let it marinate, and have decided that Oregon will win 44-20, although I love the spirit of this trendy 3^rd string QB Ohio State thing.
113. I have said Oregon since week 6, people.
114. If you made it this far, send me an email and I will send you 7 losing Bingo lottery tickets that I don’t feel like re-checking, are very confusing, and may or may not have had some drinks while scratching off.
115. Bill Walton just compared a basketball player from Utah to Beethoven.  
116. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more entertained (I think I said “enjoyed” before, so we welcome the new Gladiator theme I just created).  So, to change things up, WERE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??????
117.