Something is going down and I am NERVOUS.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Not an airplane rant.  Evening rant.  Semi-speed version (not enough hours in the day).  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  One sentence per hook.  Why?  Because I predicted the Blackhawks would win the Stanley Cup before the season, because I predicted the Hawks would come back from 3-2 down against the Ducks, because the game is ON, and because YOU try and predict all of this shit.  And because Lindsey is watching the dinosaur movie and the cat is asleep.  Let’s MOVE.  
2. JJ.  Pops.
3. Bottomless mimosas should just be translated as “do you have any plans for the day?”
4. Third period is about to start. 1-1.  I am freaking OUT.
5. I really don’t need friends. I need a place to play my new party game, ATB.  Call me.  I will provide EVERYTHING.  
6. Most dumb people don’t get the recent Pistons trade, but people who watch tape of everyone and their mother KNOW it wasn’t a bad trade.
7. I like cats when they are asleep next to me and I don’t feel like they will take my eyeballs when I am sleeping.  
8. I don’t care what he did wrong, but I know that Jim Tressel should be in SOME Hall of Fame.
9. Or at least his sweater should be.  
10. Amit, you are the shit (I don’t think he reads this).
11. Joseph, a shout out, not sure if my brother lets you read this, but since he gives you whatever you need, WHAT do you need for your July 24^th birthday?  Name it.  
12. Basically, what can I buy you that Matt hasn’t provided? So sorry I am 2000 miles away and not more involved in your life.
13. Happy trails, Dusty Rhodes-I was more of a Jimmy Super Fly Snuka guy, but I still say Happy Trails.  
14. I may or may not have killed Billy Joel’s Piano Man last night on stage, and I have decided Motley Crue’s Home Sweet Home is next.
15. I am the farthest thing from NOT joining a stage party.  
16. I literally have NO fear of doing ANYTHING.
17. I believe that Bryce Harper will be a Yankee eventually and it sucks.
18. Hunter’s outburst would normally get more ink on this thing, but I am rushing.
19. I am officially replacing “in this world” with “on this globe.”
20. Pay it forward.  
21. And dodge where he gets stabbed at the end.
22. I have one co-worker who I don’t trust who says Jurassic is the shit, but more importantly, Logan says it sucks.
23. Which means it sucks.  
24. If you can’t feel the energy of the US Open about to begin, than I would like you to move on to another blog.
25. I love golf Majors more than you and your closest 1000 friends combined with THEIR friends and was on 18 when Tiger tied up Rocco.  
26. Blackhawks score.
27. The Demon Kitty likes to play with chess pieces, and I am happy about it, and impressed that he left the rooks and kings up, but do I reload in a day or two or let him run out?
28. Here was my set up before the hockey game.  
30. The amount of excitement I have for tomorrow’s Game of Thrones is beyond any feeling you have ever THOUGHT about getting.  
31. The reason this fun blog is tonight, aside from the cat being asleep and Lindsey being at a movie, is because I am going jet skiing tomorrow.
32. And watching basketball tomorrow.
33. And watching Game of Thrones tomorrow.  
34. And watching Silicon Valley.  
35. Water is the greatest thing on earth, and thanks to Dustin and Shauna for the invite.
36. How have I been to CA like 15 times on business and not seen ONE Redwood tree?  
37. I want to go with Lindsey back to VA, sales is a job where you kind fo know IF you can take time off, and I actually just want to show her how OU’s campus is a JOKE in comparison to UVA’s.  
38. I don’t like NASCAR, we all know that.
39. In editing, why did it take out my entire hook about Kyle Busch-I don’t feel like being that funny again?  
40. I have decided that prosciutto is the greatest tasting thing in the world.
41. Ever.  
42. Easy cheese is in the running though.  
43. If you haven’t registered for the 1000 ft water slide apparently being built in the middle of Denver, then this is your warning that I am booked for 10am.  
44. I hear there are rumblings, thought it wasn’t exactly splitting the atom, but WAS curious why Blatt isn’t playing more Miller or Marion, who both have a freaking ring.  
45. If this Dellevedova bandwagon party to end before announcers figure out how to pronounce his name.
46. Whatever, Dez-you are an idiot.  
47. Have a mentioned that I almost lost my shit when Ted during the commercial asked “what did Scott Fitzgerald ever do to YOU?”  
48. Is Tom Brady’s boy in Ted 2?
49. #3 on man crush list, right behind Matt Damon and Mark Walberg.  
50. 2-1, 13 minutes left.
51. Lindsey took a nap today, it sounded enticing, but my mind just thinks there are dumb, stupid things you can be doing during a nap time.
52. Someone told me that the AT&T chick was hot, but the new commercial shows how big her ass really is.  
53. I had about 40 notes from the Warriors-Cavs game, but it is the third period now of the hockey game, Ralph doesn’t read this anyway, and it seems like old news.  
54. That is actually my coworker.
55. Although I WILL say that Ralph told me inside info that Dellevedova was actually born in Italy and then moved, and that is incorrect.’  
56. WordPress just puts extra numbers.  Move on.
57. I am glad the Warriors won just so the “Flu Game” wasn’t in the conversation with the “Camera Game.”  
58. Yes, the camera men are too close.
59. Prepare for the most brilliant thing I have ever said in three years of this blog (except for Kyrie, Scott), and I thought the PERFECT time for LeBron to bust out the headband would be to cover up the camera blood.  
60. I just read that last hook-read another blog if you don’t think that is brilliant.
61. The deal is if GOT knocks off Dinklage, I will never watch the show again, but I am willing to let go of Jon Snow if it makes me fall off the couch.
62. Or anyone else besides Arya.  
63. I feel like it is Sunday, but it is not.
64. Euro qualifying is now going on, and that means I officially care about soccer again.
65. It was cool to say I would go to Omaha if UVA was in it still (won today), but the dates kind of conflict with my work travel schedule.
66. Michael Sam, just get out of the news, please.
67. I got the worse haircut I have ever had today, and that included me driving BACK to the place initially.  I have officially moved out of the time frame where George Clooney resonates.  
68. When I asked for “rounded,” I guess she thought I meant “squiggly.”
69. If you don’t go to Pride in Denver and support the cause, you better send me your doctor’s excuse, explain how you don’t hate gay people, or at least tell me you wanted to watch the early guys at the US Open.  Living the way you want is the key to life.  
70. Isn’t it nice to see that an already MILLIONAIRE in Troy Aikman sold some Wingstop shares and made MORE millions that we don’t have a number on?
71. I still watch First Blood when it is on TV and I have nothing else going on (that was the nap time).  
72. My buddy, John (doesn’t read this) had a GREAT idea of adding “Mc” in front of everything just to make it sound cooler, it was a fantastic idea, but kind of faded when he used it every 20 seconds.
73. John is Lindsey’s best guy friend who is pretty much ALWAYS invited to everything we do.
74. It is implied.
75. I will say it again, and I mean it-I don’t hate the Cavs, I just don’t want JR Smith EVER to get a ring.  
76. Lindsey’s mom could possibly be 1000 times as cool as you and me and whatever level of coolness we wish to obtain…times 1000.
77. I think she stopped reading this too.
78. Actually, I have 200 people who read this thing and pretty sure about 10 of my closest friends do NOT read it.
79. Actually, that is kind of cool.
80. Not as cool as Godzilla being on in the background right now while editing.
81. If I could make ONE sound, it would be Godzilla’s.  
82. Another added number via WordPress.
83. Snatch and Legends of the Fall are two movies I find that people have NOT seen that are Pitt’s best work.  
84. John had to pick up his friend, who works at a hospital, and drop him off at a different hospital…bone spurs.
85. Which part of that last statement would you like to me to make fun of?
86. It was a great brunch, and I respect the breaking the chains, but amazed I sat in a bar today which did NOT have a TV.
87. P-17.
88. U571 is one of the best movies ever, and I have been in a sub, and it is of the most weirdest experiences you have ever experienced.  
89. Yes-aware I just used the same word twice in a sentence.
90. I think that although I literally mean it, Lindsey gets tired of me saying “well THAT would be a cool way to die.”
91. I don’t WANT to die, but I just want to die in a shark’s mouth, with a chute not opening, or SOMETHING cool.  
92. Side note-when are we going to stop having amusement parks with dinosaurs?
93. How are they still trying to do it-site C?  
94. I read a book 97 times when I was a kid about a Doberman who knew 7 languages and went through a national park to live-is this the same gig?  
95. I won’t mention how I read Where the Red Fern Grows 113 times and cried 198 times total.  
96. This day has been a waste, but remind me to get Panic tix and let me know if you want to go.
97. I got dropped off at the bottom of Red Rocks in 1999 and made it back after 3 days-learn ANYTHING you want about me, but know there is NO bad time EVER happening with me and Panic.
98. Avery.  
99. Bauer.  
100. That’s it folks. Hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.
101. Actually, I am off tomorrow.  Game of Thrones/ Bball holiday.  Talk to you Monday.