Airplane Rant. Enjoy. Talk to you all Sunday.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Airplane rant.  Evening rant.  Relative speed version depending on airplane seat room, energy, and motivation.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Or, I guess the plane in this case.  Always gets confusing.  Not limiting myself to one sentence hooks, but there might be a couple depending on groove.  This is my signoff blog until Sunday.  Tomorrow is ALL catching up from my work trip the last two days, and then the afternoon trickles towards packing and flying to Vegas.  I will be off the grid until Sunday most likely, with only possible quick hitter Catch of the Day’s (possibly, not probably).  Enjoy the silence.  But, for now, let’s move.
2. I don’t like cheating and starting early before an airplane rant, so right NOW is where the intro ends (I have to have the doc ready in case I have to type with screen down).
3. Ugghhh (proper spelling of that word). Flight delay.  So, cheating and starting at gate.
4. I am very impressed with what both the Cavs and Heat are doing with their luxury tax issue. Sure, things have to be done, but when you get rid of LeBron’s favorite guy seemingly days before he left the Heat, get rid of Haywood’s monstrous, waste of time $10k plus overhead, and give LeBron’s buddy, Mike Miller, one more chance at more decent playing time before his career ends, then you are doing good things.
5. Speaking of good things, I am finding it harder and harder to say NEW good things about Mike Trout, who belted two HR’s in a game and MAYBE broke a sweat.
6. Jason Day solved some putting problems and jammed in 3 straight birdies to win the PGA event this week. Not only did he fight off Bubba’s late birdie binge, but he prompts an interesting debate on best golfer to never win a Major.  Know going into this that Day is my boy, but let’s be unbiased.  We probably have Dustin Johnson, Jason Day, and Sergio Garcia off the top of my head without looking at the rankings.  The two young guns are sexy picks and have been in contention frequently lately, but come on.  Take overall rankings over a long period of time, meaning more chances, and it is Garcia by a mile.  The other two have plenty of time to get one.  Time is running a little shorter to the man who once skipped up the Major fairway.
7. I didn’t read the whole story, but did I read that the NFL will give “random” football inflation checks, but then told us WHEN in the game those random checks will be? No internet moving forward on this one, so let’s just leave it as a light joke, ok?
8. I am not a NASCAR guy, but I think winning three straight must be pretty tough with all of those guys turning the same way on the track.
9. Yes, I know I cover that joke every week-I still find it funny. Get your own blog and say the same things.  It is fun.
10. My hotel was a long one block from it, so I checked it out again. Myriad Gardens in OKC is a pretty cool place to just take a walk.    Nighttime.  Pretty chill place.
11. It is easy to walk around in OKC. There is no foot traffic.  I think it is a big city building ghost town in a lot of ways.  I was walking around downtown at 4pm on Monday and NO ONE was anywhere around.  I felt like I Am Legend without a dog.
12. What they DO right (if you want to call it that) is have no convenience stores or anything downtown except for businesses and pretty areas. Not a lot of riff raff floating around.
13. Just don’t try and find a 7-11 for a before bed Lunchable like a frequent traveling eater like me likes to do when traveling.
14. Of course, how CAN people hang around in that heat? Colorado at least goes down a few degrees.  OKC just pretends like the sun is still out.
15. I might even have time to finish this on plane AND take a nap.
16. I once again forgot to check in on Southwest 24 hours before-I am organized about a lot of things, but not that. Glad this flight is pretty quick.  B28 should get me a window though.
17. I have determined you are pooling from a group of about 50 jokes if you are talking about Jimbo Fisher throwing a first pitch to Jameis Winston before an MLB game.
18. I unfortunately didn’t feel like picking one. Maybe on the late night edit after getting home the 40 minutes from the thing in the middle of the field that is DIA.  (NOPE)
19. Whoever you are, $471k off of a $.50 bet sounds like a heck of a deal. You are welcome to come out with me in Uptown Denver.  You supply the money.  I will just be fun and talk shit while we play pool.
20. I do not remember the last time I had something from Schlotsky’s, but the original sandwich thing was big, good, and I will not wait as long next time in between meals. Plus, small little adults ordering specific types of milkshakes will make me change lines frequently.
21. Kids…not for me.
22. Whatever the penalties in talent, money, or whatever, love that the Cavs signed Mr. Dellavedova. Good stuff, and fun story no matter HOW you look at it.  Kurt Rambis and his plastic glasses and knee braces had a whole career.  So, why can’t THIS guy from the YMCA have one?
23. The Royals made another great move in picking up Ben Zobrist. Solid player that fits their mold, they didn’t give up the farm, it positions themselves even better for the postseason, and tell your friends THIS.  He is FOURTH in the entire league in WAR since 2009.
24. I am on hook 22 and the A’s on Southwest are still lined up. I would be going crazy if I hadn’t started blogging (hey, I did 2 hours of work before starting that).  Looks like the on the plane version of this is going to be “find fun nuggets in the USA Today.” (NOPE)
25. The Phils got rid of their talented headache, Jonathan Papelbon, and you KNOW you are down and out when you are dealing off good players to teams IN your division.
26. Steelers RB Le’Veon Bell got reduced to two games suspension from three. This might not seem like a big deal.  They have the insurance plan of DeAngelo Williams, so that is good.  But, one game MIGHT decide the top three teams between the Ravens, Bengals, and Steelers.
27. Gotta go. Talk to you on the plane.
28. I am back. Miss me?  Well, I missed you all.  Not only is it hard to stop once I get in my blogging “zone,” but then I have to wait until 10,000 feet?
29. Where were we?  Anyway, the point of that last hook is that the Steelers might be one of the favorites in the AFC (FINALLY after a few down years), but they are not winning that division by more than a game.  Those other two teams are solid.
30. Yes, I know you all are there also, Browns. But come on.
31. Brady’s suspension was upheld, which ends one of the most useless wastes of the media’s time in a long time. I am sure much worse things are done behind the scenes, and if they are, I assume most people who get busted will be better liars than Brady.  I just don’t think he cared about telling a story.
32. Kind of smart. Leave it vague and lifeless and you can’t be too much of a hater or fan for him.  Just a bunch of shady unknowns…
33. Glad the Steelers still get the Brady-less Pats.
34. I see Christina Applegate in movies like Vacation and remember when she was the teen TV hottie that I wasn’t totally sure if I should be staring at or not. She was old enough off the screen, correct?
35. Mariah Carey is getting a star on the Walk of Fame, and I am sure by the time we see her again, somehow her breasts will be even bigger.
36. Not complaining about that, but sooner or later we will have to look up and see the amount of “stuff” that she is probably doing to her aging face.
37. I just noticed an already struggling, finding its way, “rebuilding” UVA football team lines up against UCLA, Notre Dame, and Boise State in three of their first four games.   So, we will lose 3 of the first 4, and then still have a chance in the ACC.
38. Kind of kidding…just saying none of those are conference losses.
39. Does anyone realize the San Francisco Giants were only one game above .500 just ten games ago?   Talk about the baseball version of the Spurs.  Post ASG?  Ok, let’s GO.
40. Who would have thought before the season that a pitcher from the Pirates would be leading the league in wins at this juncture?
41. Only a couple more days to figure out this very, very gray situation of who in MLB is a buyer and who is a seller…
42. Think about it. I believe only two teams are more than 6.5 games back in the American League.  That is sick.  That stat might be off as I didn’t check it, but probably not by much.
43. Speaking of BAD teams, I read a funny tidbit about the Phils and Cole Hamels today.  His no-hitter is like the dealer washing your car before you drive it off the lot.
44. Not only hadn’t I cared about the Tour de France recently, and not only did I not recognize this dude, Froome, but he has won it TWICE????  What?????
45. I am glad the Herrera confrontational antics are finally done in soccer, but dammit if that guy can always say he went out with a pretty big win.
46. The Celtics got Zoran Dragic from the Heat, finalized the David Lee deal with the Warriors, and I believe have about 27 players on their present squad and 37 draft picks next year.
47. That is silly. I think they only have 17 players and like 8 draft picks (right on the players ballpark, guessing on the draft picks).
48. I was going to make a NICE joke about Pettine, Manziel, and the open door, but Johnny has been so GOOD lately that it doesn’t have the luster. I freaking put him on my diminished, older Rant Squad and he becomes a monk who goes and visits Jon Gruden and practices during the team’s “time off” period?
49. I think I am kind of bored about the whole Russell Wilson contract situation. Just tell me when it is over.  Or go play baseball.
50. I was in my hotel room working, and watched the Special Olympics for only 30 minutes, and have to admit it was the most moving part of my month easily.
51. I kind of already thought Jonathan Martin was retired. Oh well, NOW he is.  Or, as Kramer would say, starting NOW.
52. The Padres are looking to wheel and deal about now. They want to make sure they trade to someone else ALL of those players they so actively picked up this past offseason.
53. I have dived off a cliff many times. High ones.  I have repelled down some other cliffs.  High ones.  I also have plenty of other things on my bucket list.  But, as I sat at a bar Monday watching the Red Bull Diving Championships on television, NOWHERE on my list was doing THAT.  I barely dove or jumped, let alone going higher and mixing in some flips and turns.  Holy smokes.  Props to YOU crazy people.
54. Decent stats and HR’s on birthdays against his ex-team seem to be overwhelming the A-Rod haters, and I have no idea WHY.
55. Oklahoma City heat is like running into a brick wall in comparison to Denver heat. I forgot I already mentioned that.  Well, it IS really hot enough to mention twice.
56. I recently said I liked the Angels to go to the World Series. Shane Victorino was a nice pickup for the clubhouse for that charge.  Guy is like the baseball version of Hossa in hockey.  I will just go to teams and win with them, but not demand any of my moves.
57. This kid Kris Bryant is kind of good, aye? Nice when the hype is followed by the true skill.  I believe a walkoff this week.
58. When I say “believed,” it means it happened, but I am tired from traveling, and I forget when I wrote it down. BELIEVE it was last night.
59. Maui Classic teams were announced, which is my first tickle in the side that college basketball is only a couple more months away. KU and IU?
60. I know the Warriors won with small ball, and I know Byron Scott has quite a situation to coach over there with the Lakers, but I have a feeling Kobe’s last years are NOT going to be at PF, dude. I mean, coach.
61. I don’t know exactly…hold ON.
62. The flight attendant just gave me a whole Coke Zero can, two cups of ice, two packs of peanuts, and two packs of pretzels. LOVE sitting in the back.
63. And having an empty seat next to me…
64. I don’t know exactly WHAT a coaching intern is in the NFL, but having a female one is sure as hell a step in the right direction.
65. I noticed that both the world bocce championships AND air hockey championships were determined this week. I thought we all understood how to stagger mainstream sports.
66. Thoughts and prayers to the rest of the family for Bobbi Kristina Brown. I won’t be a smartass here, and it is a sad story.  But, when Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown got together, we kind of KNEW that it had the capability of being what could go WRONG crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.
67. Just google “tom cruise week grantland” and READ the pairings, click on them, and laugh your ass off. Funny stuff.
68. I haven’t been in Denver for the last 2.5 days, so no idea of how the town is handling the trade.  But, they were mildly prepared, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Cargo is gone by the time this plane lands.  They need young pitchers, they need to get as much as they can from these two stars, and they need to really try and build it like the Astros and Pirates have.  And Tulo goes to a team that might make the playoffs.  He needs that at this time in his career.  And actually, the Rockies get Reyes back, who suddenly stopped performing once he got paid.  Hmmm.  Anyway, not a bad player back, and maybe they should turn THAT guy for someone else in a trade.  Just talking aloud here.  Still flying.
69. Oh, small things. These pretzels are making me thirsty but I have Coke Zero, empty seat next to me, a little turbulence to make it fun, plenty of blog room, and going home.
70. Well, for one day, and then it is off to Vegas…
71. I LOVE OKC’s airport. No letters, one entrance, plenty of room, decent fast food without the obvious ones, and plenty of plugs.  AND it is an Uber town I just found out this trip.
72. Don’t worry about ME, recently crowned world Crossfit champs. I just want to do one triathlon, which I keep procrastinating on, and do one flag for 30 seconds.  Maybe 10 seconds.  Maybe 5 will be fine.
73. I noticed that MLB will cut voters. Then, I noticed they are inactive voters.  Then, I noticed that there are a lot of them where it has been 10 years.  I would LOVE to be a voter, and half of your votes are odd ANYWAY.  You all are wasting valuable votes.  Exit stage left and feel guilty.  Probably the same guys complaining about lesser guys getting in.
74. Not YOU, this past class. You all are dope.
75. It doesn’t matter if Jenrry Mejia isn’t a primary factor in the Mets rise or not. He is selfish for getting busted once for PED’s.  He is an idiot for getting the 162 game penalty.
76. So, Calipari has been talking about the next chosen recruiting class as being the best in a long time. Cheaterpari saying that is something, with some of his past ones being pretty sick and wrong.  I looked at who he is chasing in more detail.  If you care, and maybe you do, he is highly pursuing the #1, #3, #4, #5, #6, and #7 players in the latest rankings.  I see no problems with playing time with that crew.
77. I personally never thought lightning would strike again. MLS got Beckham years ago.  But that was more for show than anything.  Now, possibly one of the better African players of all time is coming over.  Didier Drogba will play for the Montreal Impact.  I, for one, am pretty impressed with whoever got him here.  The Ivory Coast is no slouch.
78. Ok, I think that covers everything I wanted to cover today. Plus, we better be starting our descent pretty soon as I am jonesing to get home.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.
79. Just a tagline, folks. As I mentioned, I work tomorrow and then head to Vegas.  See you on the flip side, with I assume NOTHING to talk about.  All I know is I am FINALLY seeing that freaking Hoover Dam, however I do it.  Talk to you Sunday.
80. Oh, and FIX that freaking C Gate escalator, DIA.  Painful to get home late on a work night and deal with that.