American Blogger.

 

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Saturday afternoon rant during Packers-Cowboys game.  Possibly a speed version.  I haven’t decided.  I have nowhere to go and 6 more hours of football to watch, but I may…JUSt want to watch football.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Let’s get this party going while I ponder the days when I wanted to go to the most happening place in the city during a home Broncos game but now am SO comfortable on my couch.
2. Once again, the previews for the American Sniper movie are so good that I just asked Lindsey when the damn thing is coming out. I have to see that thing.  
3. Once again, I won’t be a Bronco “hater” later today, but IF they lose, I will internally chuckle and probably write an entire blog on how I said in week 3 that the Colts are a dark horse for the Super Bowl even though they were 0-2 at the time. Be warned.  Either way.  It is win win for me.  
4. I don’t usually stay up late on Sundays, but count me in on trying to watch the Conor McGregor UFC fight next week. Where the heck is that redhead fat guy with a beard I liked watching fight?  I don’t even know his name.  He is awesome.  
5. That is obviously not the fat redhead.  That is Conor.
6. Once again, Oregon, with or without all of their weapons, will demolish Ohio State Monday. By demolish, I mean that it will be close until about 6 minutes left in the third quarter, social media will be going crazy with how Ohio State is hanging in there,  and then Oregon will score 28 unanswered points.  
7. Except for they are wearing grey tomorrow.
8. Does anyone else spell that word “gray” one time and “grey” another time?
9. Dallas 14, Green Bay 7. Count me in as the biggest Seattle fan this side of the Mississippi if the Cowboys win.
10. We can make fun of Moneyball not officially winning a championship all we want, but I liked the A’s Zobrist-Escobar trade yesterday.  
11. Brad Pitt is one good looking dude.  I admit that.
12. Phil Jackson says “mea culpa,” but I would add to that this comment. “Don’t have Melo as your go to guy and superstar.”  
13. I might have mentioned this already (I am forgetful about all things not sports-ask Lindsey), but I am BACK on the Rob Lowe commercial bandwagon. I LOVE the meat head thing.  
14. Pretty sure now I already mentioned that, possibly many times.
15. I might go see the Kingsman movie JUST to figure out how Samuel Jackson fits into that plot.  
16. ALERT:  On editing, Green Bay is AHEAD now.  Yay.
17. Put this movie on my undercover, underwatched movie list. Off the top of my head, I have The Score, The Edge, Sneakers, Spy Game, and Rounders.  The Recruit.  Colin Farrell, Al Pacino.  Spy shit.    The ending will make you fall off the couch.  
18. Why do I say that? I should say “barstool.”  Couches are made to NOT fall out of.  I am silly.
19. ALERT.  This is not an official hook.  Lindsey just made a sad sound, I asked why, and she said nothing was wrong.  Then, she x’d out of Candy Crush on her phone.  Wow.  Awesome stuff.  
20. I still like “Sugar Mash” better as a name.
21. Lindsey and I spent $311 (after discounts) at the grocery store. I am proud to say ALL was necessary except for the bottle of Easy Cheese sitting next to me waiting for breakfast to leave my primary stomach.  
22. I eat a LOT.
23. I say “primary stomach” because, as I have noted before, I have successfully created a “pizza stomach” in my body. This stomach is designed to process pizza IF there is free pizza anywhere near me even after I have just been to an all you can eat buffet.  
24. I love pizza fourth in life.  Right after my family, my religion, and the Green Bay Packers.  
25. I still just watch that speech.  Sometimes I cry still.  I am not scared to admit that.
26. That speech, and dogs dying in movies.  I laugh during “crying” movies.  I fell off the couch laughing during The Notebook.  
27. UVA was down 31-24 and luckily my freaking out period was solitary as Lindsey was getting her nails done and no one saw me actually freaking out. They pulled it off.  When the #2 defense meets the #1 shooting team, something has to give.  It didn’t have to be pretty, but that win was HUGE yesterday by my Hoos.  I think we are good until Duke now.  I assume I will be having some texts with Logan as that game gets closer.  
28. Duke sucks.  
29. I couldn’t find one of him pounding the floor.
30. Speaking of Duke sucking, congrats, Vince. Your bipolar, non shooting UNC team beat a very good Louisville team yesterday.  He texted me that they will win it all.  I texted him back to take a deep breath, and enjoy a big win on a Saturday against a HOF coach.  Easy, tiger.
31. Kentucky had another close call yesterday, and I already blogged about it I realize now as typing this. What I would like to ADD is this.  They are talented, tall, and very good, but Cauley-Stein laughing on the sideline after fouling out during a second OT made me want UK lose MORE than ever.  Act like you are nervous, Cheaterpari recruits.  
32. I caught the most important part of the Baltimore-New England game even though I was watching UVA bball.  Hey, Hoodie, that clock management was HORRIBLE at the end.  Run one sweep, and there is no Hail Mary possibility.  
33. Told you that game would be interesting and close though. Hoping my boss listened to me when saying New England minus the points was what Vegas WANTED you to do.  Sucker bet.
34. Lindsey is comfortable on the couch. She said “I would like a white Russian.  I said “let’s go get one.”  She said “I don’t have go out clothes on.”  I don’t understand that, but she is using her new favorite thing in life of ordering alcohol online.  That is WAY beyond me.  I prefer to walk.  BUT, I am blogging.
35. We just walked and got it.  Apparently, the online service doesn’t have cheap Kahlua.  It is called Kamora, and I haven’t been out of the bartending game for THAT long.  
36. I didn’t say that Carolina was going to WIN. I said that if Cam did something SPECIAL, it might be close.  
37. All this being said, Seattle is about to make Russell Wilson the highest paid QB in the NFL. NOW, we are reaching.  He is solid at his position on a more than solid team.  He is not just a game manager like Trent Dilfer, but he should not make the most money at his position.  
38. But I assume that might dim thoughts of him winning two Super Bowls and then going to be the best second baseman ever in the MLB.
39. Which he could.
40. I have Game of Thrones on my list. That could be a bunch of things.  When does April come around again?  I need NEW ones.  
41. I played Louis (my Roland) last night after coming home from bars with Shauna and Dustin. I am RUSTY, but still tease myself with my old skills.  Hey, I was once the best practicing one hour a day because I was an athlete playing against kids who left school and practiced for six hours.  Suckers.  I love Louis.  Lindsey hates that I named the Roland that.  
42. Shauna is one of my favorite Lindsey friend who is female.
43. Dustin IS my favorite male friend of hers. I remember waiting in a Water World line with that guy in our first meeting.  He is dope.  
44. Damn, I love water parks.  I think it is my utopia.
45. “Dope” is my ultimate compliment.  Dustin is DOPE.
46. I might go see Bone Thugs and Harmony down the street just to hear that one song I know from them.  
47. This is the song by the way.  Awesome song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MKoU5LiAIE
48. I have decided that Swim Ear is the hardest thing to find in the grocery store. Can’t do it.  You can find the other brand, but the top comes off in my travel Ziplocs.
49. My mom made me use it after every practice and still do it to this day.  
50. She doesn’t know it, but I do a lot of the things she taught me every day.
51. I have squirt three “hits” of Easy Cheese in the last five minutes. Damn, I love that stuff.
52. Lindsey has said she wishes I “craved” something for meals instead of “whatever.” It is her fault for being such a badass cook.  She is magical in the kitchen.
53. OSU basketball lost some bubble points yesterday.  And since my THE University is undefeated and you are about to be crushed by the Ducks, I win.  
54. Best decision I ever made.  Wahoowa.
55. Von Miller recent photos make me pretty sure you should either shave your head, or grow a mustache…but not both.
56. Yesterday was Saturday, and I worked for 5 hours nonstop. I am a work machine.
57. The only thing that motivates me more is that my boss works just as much.  I love being the first person to work in parking spot A and sending out work emails on weekends when I know there will be no response.  I have problems.
58. I just walk into Park & Co these days and they assume I want a PBR, shot of well bourbon, and a Scarponne. I would have to call ahead if I wanted to different order.
59. Hey, Josh Smith, the Pistons are STILL on fire. I am sure it is a coincidence.  
60. Venus Williams won something, meaning I will overreact and pick her to win some Major in 2015.  
61. Two more hits of Easy Cheese.
62. I wasn’t greedy when selling my Broncos ticket. I made $50, but it was for some dude in a beat up Civic that was going to his first game and definitely didn’t look like he had anyone to go with.
63. Like I can talk.
64. Someone hire the North Dakota State coach.
65. I hate the Cowboys, and they still are winning. I feel like there are a lot of fumbles in this game, although I am too lazy to look up the box score.
66. New Rob Lowe commercial.  I hate you, overly paranoid Rob Lowe.  Go back to the meat head one.  
67. When I switch channels about an hour from now, I am scared of hearing that Drive like a Boss rap commercial with the chick doing fantastic early 80’s rap.  
68. Tom Brady set the playoff record for TD’s yesterday. That sounds about right.  Man Crush has been noted.  And commercials with Joe Montana don’t win you more Super Bowls, Peyton.
69. I would take Joe Montana right NOW under center against anyone.  Man Crush I guess also.  Bad.  Ass.  
70. The name is enticing in a cheesy way, but do NOT go to Las Delicias on 19^th and Penn no matter how bad you want Mexican food.
71. And I love rice, but if you put corn in it, you ruin it for me.  I would have ordered corn if I wanted corn.  I HATE corn separate, but LOVE corn on the cob.  I have problems.  
72. There was a guy down Silver Lake Road that sold the BEST Jersey corn.
73. That was redundant.  Jersey corn rules even in its crappiest form.  
74. I put on a license plate for Lindsey yesterday. I fix and do things in a manly way.  I am going to buy a tool belt tomorrow.
75. Steve????  Steve?????????????  That is Lindsey’s dad.  We don’t talk on a daily basis, but we both agree that the Bourne movies are the greatest thing on earth, and I HEAR you are on season 2 of GOT.  Talk to me, goose.  I would be happy to be a sounding board about season 2.  This deserves THREE pictures.  
76. 
77. 
78. Roger Federer won his 1000^th match this weekend. We might appreciate more his brilliance after he retires, but I have sure enjoyed his fantastic tennis play over the years as much as I could.  
79. Send Rex Ryan to Buffalo.  And then, when the NFL expands to Canada and he gets fired, send him to Greenland if possible.  
80. Southampton beat Man U this weekend.  I have only heard of one of those soccer teams, so I assume that is like a Milan win.  
81. The coolest thing about my Droid Turbo (that I know of) is this. You know how someone calls you, you see that they are calling you (doesn’t happen a lot with me), you call them back and they say all the things they left on the VM, but they already left you a message??  Then, you have to call your voicemail, and delete the message?  Well, with visual VM, you just wait another ten seconds, READ their voicemail, and then hit the trash bin icon.  You save 30 seconds every time.  Lindsey won’t admit it, but she is jealous. iPhone and Samsung people are pansies.  
82. Green Bay within 1. Great game.  Come on, Packers.
83. Jonesy’s at 20^th and Logan just got pizza. Get the one with prime rib on it.   Fiery Pit I believe it is called.
84. “Dirty” is a half of step below “dope” in my compliment category.
85. I think it is amazing that two staples in American life, ketchup and coffee, are NOT consumed at all by my fiancée and I.  I have had one half sip of coffee in my life.  
86. I think the Jets next hire couldn’t be bad if they are looking at the Seattle DC.
87. Trent Richardson is out for the playoff game today.  HUGE loss.
88. Vince emailed me about my negativeness with the Broncos even though my team is out and I live in Denver. My response was “Am not.  Rooting for them today…unless they lose.  If they win, “I live in Denver-yay.”  If they lose, “I said this in week 3 on my blog.”
89. No, Mom. I don’t hate all Broncos fans.  You are alright with me.  War Elway.
90. That is a Jim Rome joke.  
91. I actually think that Jim Rome is the same person as me.  One of us is successful though.  I assume he is hated in the inner circle.
92. Just about to write down for my next blog how LOUD Andrew Luck’s voice is.
93. I successfully made it through this blog without talking about the airport shuttle ride and Lindsey.  Maybe you would have liked the debate.  I think it is better that I am skipping it.  Babe, I DID it!!!!  I didn’t blog about it.
94. They just showed a long preview for American Sniper and I got emotional.  Whoever is making those commercials, PROMOTE them.
95. Go Broncos.  Yay.  Big fan.
96. That is it. Going to go focus on rooting for the Broncos, because I live in Denver and they are my home team (sound realistic enough???).  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Were you NOT entertained?????  Talk to you tomorrow.