But can I go out with anyone who LIKES this commercial?

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Afternoon rant.  Speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

EMAIL: mark_filler@hotmail.com

TWITTER: @Mark_Filler

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1. Greetings and salutations, all.  Thanks for hopping aboard (the boat).  If the Steelers would have won, I probably would blog all night.  Since they didn’t, that means two things A) the rant will be better because I am angry B) the rant will be shorter as I am grumpy.
2. I am actually winning one of my fantasy games.
3. I am losing the other because Sproles returning stuff accounts for nothing.
4. Nap-sleep for Lindsey. Nap= blog time for me.
5. I am writing this as the happy brilliant fantasy owner who sat Tate and McKinnon.
6. JJ-pops-he doesn’t read this thing anymore I don’t think.
7. But just in case he does, he is one of the best people AND sales people I have ever met.
8. Let’s do the one sentence thing.  I find that fun.  Starting…now.
9. What is wrong with the 49ers?
10. Did the US even play in the Ryder Cup?  
11. I think there is a conspiracy behind the Rondo injury.
12. Along with buying flowers for your partner, call your freaking mom-sorry, mom.
13. Is it bad I am rooting against my co-worker in our boss funded losers pool considering it will eliminate 80% of the pool?
14. Cue Blake Bortles girlfriend.  
15. There was a beheading out of the sports world-who beheads anyone?
16. Rob, from Uptown, you are the shit.
17. He was my regular for 5 years at the bar when I tended, and now he is chief of staff at a place within a stone’s throw away.
18. I only had to leave my house because the Direct TV ticket was $240 and these are the weeks I need it.
19. Facebook sucks…Andy.
20. He is a Bucs fan and posted on my “wall.”
21. I hate Facebook, and Andy doesn’t read this anymore, but needs to decide if he is a Miami or Tampa fan.
22. That is ok-the Steelers were about to be the worst 3-1 team in the world…ever.
23. Logan-you are a dick for your text.
24. Gabe-thanks for not piling on.
25. We watched Guiness this weekend, and I realized it is the dog version of Ted…because the dog literally looks like a moving stuffed animal.  Once again
26. Twelve Years a Slave might be based on a true story, but it is a combination of Castaway and Gladiator ust like Avatar is Dances with Wolves with blue people.  
27. I shouldn’t own a dog because I break all the rules that they have been taught.  I just want them to be happy.
28. I think that when I am in football mood, the halftime real world update is worthless-tell me tomorrow.
29. Break out Wham as the Royals are in the playoffs.  
30. Sitting Mickelson would be a bigger deal if the US was even IN the Ryder Cup.
31. I like writing one sentence hooks-it is like Twitter with 140 characters.
32. Horrible story about the semi who killed 4 women’s softball players in a bus.
33. Have I told you how dumb the MLB wildcard rules are?
34. Taylor was suspended-stop hitting you women, athletes AND everyone.
35. I was working during the NC State-FSU game, they were explaining how a player was a Nerlens Noel brother, and the conversation ended with “the first noel.”
36. I almost lost my shit when he said that.
37. I am curious about how Girardi got mad at the Yanks before his last game, but more curious about why the media chose the word “chided.”
38. Mr. Royal, you are a fantastic writer and I can’t wait to visit Savannah.
39. A Detroit ER won the highest award in medicine for saving a kid’s life by using bacon to stop an uncontrollable nosebleed-do I even NEED a joke here?
40. Lindsey asked me the over/under halfway through the FSU-NC State game, I said 60.5 after careful calculation, and I believe it was 61-DIRTY.
41. Mark (my boss and he doesn’t read this either I don’t believe), consult me on total points for games, not spread.
42. Yes, the South Carolina “money” bet (spread) sucked.
43. Will South Carolina EVER put 12 games together, or are they just going to go 10-2 and be top ten for the rest of Coach’s career?
44. Is LeBron James carefully laying out media attention?
45. Seriously, weight loss, patience, and Kyrie is the general.
46. The Cavs shipped Keith Bogans to the Sixers, and we would care more about this if it wasn’t the Sixers who they traded a player to.  
47. Is the whole Derek Jeter thing over finally?
48. If you care, Tennessee losing by a mere 3 points AT UGA was pretty stellar-good team.
49. The NCAA has asked K State coach Bill Snyder to stop wearing old windbreakers who they don’t have sponsorship with, and also asked him to stop being as old as Sean Connery.  
50. If you came to me and said you work more hours than me, I would challenge you to a fight, and you would lose, OR admit I work more than you.
51. Hope you can box.
52. I can’t fit all of my Brady Hoke-Michigan jokes into one sentence.
53. Lindsey stopped by the PC when I was laughing at a Lost Lettermen tweet about Michigan and said it wasn’t as funny as I thought because I had some drinks in me (it definitely was as funny as I thought).
54. We are ALL having a good time piling on Michigan.
55. Can Oceans 11 just play all the time at every hour of the day?  
56. Rocky Iv too?  
57. Someone PLEASE text my fiancée and tell her Lethal Weapon is not a trap and is actually good?  
58. Reason #1059 why you need Deadspin http://screamer.deadspin.com/wayne-rooney-gets-dumbest-red-card-ever-1639855243
59. Apparently, Gone Girl is really good per Lindsey.
60. Reason #1060 why you need Deadspin. http://deadspin.com/arkansas-player-hit-in-face-by-errant-pass-while-watchi-1639912622
61. Reason #1061 why you need Deadspin. http://deadspin.com/here-is-a-sad-gallery-of-sad-sad-michigan-fans-1639930951
62. Do I really care if the Nets didn’t practice under Jason Kidd?
63. Am I still keeping to the one sentence thing?
64. Tell your friends-6 NFL teams have QB’s from TWO schools (NC State, Michigan State).
65. Drew Stanton, Kirk Cousins, Brian Hoyer MSU, and Russell Wilson, Phillip Rivers, and Mike Glennon NC State.
66. I think that I would also break up with a woman who liked the old school Dockers commercial.  
67. Todd Gurley, you are officially BACK in the Heisman conversation.
68. My 20 year UVA reunion is coming next year-should I go and show how good you can look at 41?
69. I still say “ in the weeds” being a bartender for 14 years-for your information http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/words-that-have-a-different-meaning-for-servers?s=mobile#12gklei
70. So, Buzzfeed is like the non sports version of Deadspin???
71. I want Texas A&M to lose…soon.
72. Am I at 71 hooks?
73. Denver people, Gumbo’s HH on 17^th is the best one you can find even thought it looks ritzy.
74. I don’t know why I call those little cars Austin Coopers, but I do.  
75. Michigan has never entered October with 3 losses-tell your friends.
76. King Felix just went from 2.54 ERA to a 2.18 ERA because of a call change-tell your friends.
77. Does Wisconsin football EVER cover when you think they will?
78. I talk about John Elway’s walkoff all the time and he made EIGHTH on the all time list. http://www.si.com/more-sports/2014/09/26/derek-jeter-top-10-exits-sports
79. Bobby Jones was pretty freaking cool though.
80. Reason #1062 why you need Deadspin. http://deadspin.com/idiot-on-the-field-at-ohio-state-gets-blown-up-by-coach-1639950618
81. Simmons and reason #1063. http://deadspin.com/the-sports-guy-vs-espn-how-bill-simmons-lost-bristol-1639533260
82. Reason # million why you need Deadspin. http://deadspin.com/odu-streaker-spikes-football-evades-security-for-a-wh-1639946356
83. I have an amazing ability to find ink pens that don’t write…once again.
84. I went and bought nice clothes this weekend because apparently next year I have to LOOK like a guy that will make a figure that will make most people jealous.
85. Why did the Texans not challenge that third down late in the game? Timeouts?
86. I could literally write this thin forever if I had no job.
87. Everyone start Googling Jordan Zimmerman right…now.
88. And go watch Perfect Game also. Kevin is dirty in that.  
89. I think but am not sure that the Tenn Tech coach just got headlines today for losing TWO HUNDRED games.
90. You don’t have to like Winger, but if you want to try, listen to THIS song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Soi7nXzVYI
91. I think Charlie Weis would have been better as the genius OC on the Pats who everyone might THINK would be a great head coach.
92. That was funny.
93. 92 hooks?
94. I hear that Suh might leave Detroit and go to NYC, and more media attention and coverage is EXACTLY what he needs.
95. If the 49ers win, will we hear more about this 230am fire alarm?
96. I would say don’t get Direct TV’s NFL ticket, but today I really didn’t want to leave my house…but did.
97. Congrats to Devon Still, who not only had his daughter get her tumor removed, but also sold $1million for the cause.
98. San Fran just took the lead-who turned this shit off?
99. I have to be honest with you, and I would not be turned off at ALL by playing poker with Kenny Rogers and having him sing that song over and over.  
100. I watched 22 minutes of NASCAR coverage today, when I was working and didn’t realize that ESPN coverage had ended.
101. There was some loud Raven fan today at the bar, and I am still confused how anyone can be a hard core Ravens fan when they didn’t exist before the Browns moved.
102. It is raining, and feel at peace with my water tattoo when it rains like this.
103. I am more comfortable in water than on land, and am basically a blog writing Aquaman with no powers.  
104. A woman covered up her Hines Ward jersey with a Broncos jersey today and I almost threw up-can’t have two teams.
105. There is so much pressure having a fiancée who loves bloody mary’s and her knowing that I consider myself the best bartender in Denver for the last 20 years-too much garlic today apparently.
106. Lindsey told me we didn’t need to order pizza tonight because I had $1 pizza rolls at brunch-I can ALWAYS eat pizza.
107. Final notes. More than a sentence.  Lindsey asked me about her playoff possibilities for OU.  Here we go.  Weighing in schedule, conference, and how they are playing, here are my playoff teams.  Bama OR Auburn. 1.  Oregon.  2.  FSU (if my wish doesn’t happen and UL loses to them). 3  Oklahoma/ Baylor (they play each other).  Watch out for MSU, UCLA, and Notre Dame.
108. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  I called you a dick, but I love you Logan.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.