But can I go out with someone who actually likes this commercial?

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Evening rant as I had a no lunch work day (again).  Let’s clear the list as I think Royale Casino has something in the works for tomorrow.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for joining me.  Kind of sad writing this as my boy, Shani Davis, didn’t medal today, but I am sure the second half of the Cuse-Pitt game will cheer me up.

2)      It was SUPPOSED to be the Duke-UNC game that was going to cheer me up.  Postponed.  On the record by the way.  UNC takes them this time.  You are not my boss anymore, Vince.  I actually THINK that.

3)      LeBron has brought up the idea of a Mount Rushmore for basketball and how he will be on it.  I think he is talking out loud about stuff we don’t need to think about right now, but it does get the mind churning.  I have asked Mr. Royal to possibly cover this in his next blog, but here are my two cents.  I need four.  Hmmmmm.  MJ.  Easy.  Bill Russell.  Easy.  Then it gets tough.  You almost HAVE to go Kareem, right?  Leading scorer of all time and champion in two different eras in basketball?  Ok.  Now we come to the fourth.  Wilt is the easy way out, but probably the way I will go, as NO one averages 50 points for a season and sucks.  But, check this out.  THIS is who I leave OFF my list.  Oscar Robertson.  Averaged a triple double for an ENTIRE SEASON.  George Mikan.  Seven championships in EIGHT years?  Bird, Magic.  Ugghhh times 1000.  I would just build a bigger Mount Rushmore, or make a fifth area to apologize for the ballers I left off the list.

4)      Hello.  I have been saying it for like 6 weeks.  Ohio State is not good.  Maybe decent at best.  They dropped a HOME game to Michigan last night, meaning we now know LESS about both teams.  I was right up to this point about them AND Wisconsin.  Watch both those teams wreck my bracket.

5)      I know DeMarcus Ware is going under the knife for an elbow injury, but without looking it up, did he wait until NOW to do so?  I work a lot.  I don’t have time to check all this stuff.  I would just personally think everyone and their mother would get surgery right after they got eliminated from the playoffs.  Just saying.

6)      It is still SO weird to me to hear ACC and Syracuse in the same sentence.  I am old school.

7)      The Astros hired Nolan Ryan as an executive advisor.  Yeah.  He should be involved with that franchise in SOME capacity.  Just like Doug Williams should be involved with the Skins in some capacity.

8)      I don’t care why Jim Schwartz is defending Ndamukong Suh.  Do you?

9)      Just saying.  MY Wichita State Shockers won again.  No real buzzer beaters or anything either.  They are just doing their thing.  Read the stories on the players, people.  They are either players who GOT recruited by big time schools and had reasons to NOT go to those places, or they are players who DIDN’T get recruited by those schools and are pissed.

10)   I watched the Olympics last night.  I enjoyed watching the halfpipe not knowing what the hell anything meant, wondering what percentage of couples figure skaters do it, and wondering how the heck these Russian figure skaters beat those skaters my mom used to watch…Torvill and Dean ( in all time score).  The Russians must be roiding.  I DID catch the routine.  It was SICK.  If the Russians lose in hockey, I will question how that dude isn’t on the hockey team.  That sideways throw he did was simply dirty.

11)   I can’t believe I remembered the name of those figure skaters from back in the day.

12)   I thought that eating this deviled eggs-potato salad thing Lindsey found was a great thing.  THAT was until I poured smoked tabasco on it last night (watching figure skating).  Dirty good.

13)   Well, it finally happened.  Eleanor, my Jeep and a very important woman of my life, broke down.  Instead of stalling and starting again, it chose not to start at all.  The glory of it was this.  It is like she CHOSE which repair shop she wanted as she broke down in front of it.  Literally.  JUST enough juice to pull in the parking lot.  I had taken her there for an alignment a couple months ago, and evidently she felt most comfortable with those mechanics.  Meant to be.  Plus, when the mechanic called me to inform me about my Jeep, he asked where I went to high school.  He went to high school with a guy named Mark Filler.  Omen.  AND, after everyone else being stumped and about to go get overcharged at the dealer, he said he figured out why I was stalling.  Amazing.  It even made sense to car dumb me.  Some computer thing-that is why I wasn’t getting dashboard lights.  Bumps or inactivity just made it turn off.  Anyway, I hope to pick up a car tomorrow that I CAN sit in rush hour and know it won’t stall.  Got to have goals, and my goal is making it to midsummer with Eleanor.  Don’t tell HER that though.

14)   In case you care, I am watching Pitt beating Cuse right now.  Still lots of time left, but damn, they play them tough.  Hey, Pitt, I need the Cuse UNDEFEATED when they play my Cavs.  Settle down.

15)   I am not saying that I would have bet on it, but if you looked up “trap game” in the dictionary yesterday, it would have had a picture of Wyoming in it.

16)   The Lakers are hurt and down and out, but still setting records.  Props.  They just lost their SIXTH straight game at home last night.  Brutal.  At least bench buried Chris Kaman is getting PT and probably earning cash for next year.

17)   I couldn’t watch the game as I was at work and haven’t figured out Watch ESPN, but it was painful to watch the score change in the US women’s hockey game against Canada.  Up 1-0 in the third????  Come on.

18)   I was telling a younger person on our sales team about Hogan’s Heroes.  The reference was “I know nothing” by Schultz.  Anyway, on the record, and THANK YOU PARENTS for putting the show on.  All time comedies.  Seinfeld, Cheers, Hogan’s Heroes.  Boom goes the dynamite.

19)   I think it is adorable that the two female skiers who tied today are friends.  I was a swimmer, so I get ties and close races.  I guess having bumps and snow kind of should make me more impressed.  It does.  No sarcasm.  Seriously.  That is amazing.

20)   MJ’s wife had TWINS.  They were both girls.  Dammit.  I think we ALL wanted boys to have the media track Jordan’s OTHER sons through the basketball tiers.  We are 0-2 at this point, right?  I like girls, but I don’t want MJ to have daughters.

21)   I know it doesn’t happen much, but I think with all of these dumb shows out there, that there should be a show about identical twins where one is successful and the other is a fat ass failure.  Just speaking my mind.

22)   New NBA commish Silver says that there are no plans for getting the NBA back into Seattle.  Ok.  Fine.  I have visited Seattle once, and it is AMAZING.  Plus, their soccer fans and NFL fans are off the charts.  Their baseball fans are great considering they haven’t had a team since Griffey.  Get a team there, dammit.  They want it, and we would applaud it.

23)   A couple days after Golden Tate says he would take a home team discount to stay in Seattle, Michael Bennett says “this isn’t Costco.”  You are right, Michael.  This isn’t Costco.  I don’t think you need to say it like that, though.  I was refreshed by Tate, and now am back to normal about teasing professional athletes in general about money and greed.

24)   Derek Jeter has announced 2014 will be his last season.  Good call.  You are not “done” yet, but better to give yourself a CHANCE at leaving like Elway AND get a farewell tour while you are at it.  The Marlins salute you.  They might pack in 15 people instead of 7 people during your visit.

25)   Richie Incognito has said the “truth will bury Martin.”  I would comment, but I have selective hearing, eyes, and memory.  I think my only interest in you is for my Rant Squad, Richie.

26)   Seinfeld reruns have gone from last ones to first ones.  Yay.  Tonight when I got home, the Dockers one was on.  YOU know what I am talking about.  How can I date someone who LIKES the Dockers commercial?

27)   That is it.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.