But I was hoping for my new socks today!

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Lunch break at work.  20 minutes….

Let’s turn and burn.

1)  And another one bites the dust.  A’s pitcher Bartolo Colon has been banned 50 games for using PED’s.  You can’t blame the guy for cheating I guess.  Since his 21 wins in 2005, here are his win totals by year.  1-6-4-3-8.  The drugs must have been working a little, as the guy had ten wins this season with more games left.

2)  If you live in Texas and it is windy today, it is Tony Romo breathing a huge sigh of relief.  Jason Witten won’t need spleen surgery, and that offense won’t click unless Witten is in it.

3)  The Nationals haven’t officially “shut down” Stephen Strasburg, but have decided to straddle the fence instead.  They will be “replacing” him for 2 or 3 starts coming up, with no real details on when that is or what happens after.  No need for Washington, DC to loot the stadium out of disgust if you don’t need to.  They will win the NL East, and perhaps the plan is to have him pitch some playoff games.  I don’t like it.  The dude is in a zone.  Keep him in the zone.  No one can definitively say whether his body can handle what load.  It is guesstimation.

4)  I have never thought that Skip Bayless says many things that are intellectually sound.  Maybe he is secretly brilliant, and purposely says moronic things to get pub.  It is a good plan, and him saying that Jeter is juicing is a perfect example of acting and talking like a moron.  So Jeter’s stats are good.  So he is having a good year.  Leave the guy alone.  It is not like he does off the field antics that deserve you calling him out.  I would prefer you not talk at all, Skip, and stop resting on your one legitimate claim to fame, of you guaranteeing Jamarcus Russell would be a bust.  You should have quit right there and faded away into the night.  Like when Costanza decided to leave rooms after a good joke. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O27RzZEOkeA

5)  I don’t care what you say.  I don’t care how persuasive he is.  Unless he is a Jedi Knight, there is no way Calipari pulls the guys he does without cheating.  This Nerlen Noel probe going on?  I wish the investigators the best of luck.  Get him.

6)  The boy who got brain damage at a baseball game got $14.5 million.  There are no jokes on this topic, and I am sure he would gladly trade in that $14.5 mil for an alert brain.  Sad story.

7)  I have stuck to my guns for years, but I officially have given in.  In fantasy this year, I will NOT take two running backs as my first two picks, no matter who is available.  The receivers are putting up too good of numbers in this pass happy/ RB by committee age we live in.

8)  Gymnast and gold medalist Aly Raisman signed on with Poland Spring water.  This is close enough to a Seinfeld reference that I will officially roll with it.  I am sure Mr. Pitt will be happy to get help on looking at that damn painting and maybe you can work on his speeches with him, Aly.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgvGyvLhE1Q

9)  Andy Reid says that Michael Vick will be ready by their opening game.  I am not buying this.  I think that he just couldn’t remember who his backup QB was.

10)  The Mavs “almost” dealt for Kobe Bryant in 2007 I hear.  I “almost” care in the least bit.

11)  NASCAR Junior Johnson’s home was sold evidently.  There is a car racing/ tralier park joke out there, floating in the wind, but I just can’t seem to get a hold of it.

12)  The Honey Badger will NOT play football this year, says his father.  I have never met the dad, but I just LIKE him for some reason.  Classy.

13)  Article on the wire.  “Goodell believes in replacement refs.”  Ok.  Thanks for THAT tidbit.  What the hell else would he say?

14)  Tennessee football has kicked WR Da’Rick Rogers off the team after repeated substance abuse problems.  I think I might even have some problems if my parents gave me that name for my life.  Is the spelling for Derrick SO bad, or are you really stressing the last syllable?

15)  A 5’9″ woman caught a 12 foot Marlin.  It would have been a record, but she needed her team’s help in getting it aboard.  I don’t know about this.  Isn’t there a size of fish where we shouldn’t expect them to get it on board themselves?  Instead she gets nothing but an asterisk every time she tells the story.

16)  Lance Armstrong has to make a decision whether to fight the USADA in doping allegations by Friday at 2am.  I don’t know what the decision is about except effort.  Dude, it sucks, but you are invested, have claimed your innocence for years, but you did win a crazy number of Tours in a row in a very tough sport to compete in.  I think that no matter what else you would rather be doing, that you have to finish this and fight them.

17)  Maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, or maybe the father just was smart enough to never get caught.  Regardless, Marcus Jordan, it might suck that your dad’s crazy skills didn’t transfer, but stop disturbing the peace outside Nebraska hotels late at night, ok?

18)  Time is up.  That is it.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.