Catch of the Day

While I was sitting here visualizing JR Smith with his eyes closed meditating with his Knicks teammates while doing “mindfulness training,” I had my own idea.  I don’t have time to do the whole rant list today again, so let’s play a game.

WHERE ARE YOU ON MY LIST?

I like lists and flowcharts.  Bottom line.  Let’s do an NFL Super Bowl contender check. There are three groupings of teams.

GROUP 1 “You can start drinking even earlier on Sundays…”

Jets:  The circus is what makes watching your team fun.

Dolphins:  You can make a case for being the best team in Group 1.

Chiefs:  Your reward for last season’s cake schedule was a brutal one this year.  Not happening.

Raiders:  When “showing life” in a game is a good thing, it is not good.

Texans:  Somehow provide me Arian Foster fantasy points and win Watt the MVP while losing a lot more.

Titans:  2-4 with their schedule is enough reason to put them here.

Jaguars:  They have a “foundation????”  Kind words only.

Falcons:  I have no idea what is wrong with these guys.  In the running with Miami to head up this group.

Buccaneers:  And 2015 they will join the Bills as a preseason dark horse…again.

Vikings:  The only thing that sucked is that they didn’t start winning without A.P.

Giants:  Well, when you are bipolar, you can’t be in the worst OR best group, even though that is the way you act each week.  But, I count two wildcards between at least 5 other better teams, so this is where you stay.

Skins:  I was actually one of the fools who thought Cousins was going to BREAK OUT. Not.

Rams:  The depression of being put in this group better be offset by the fact that a pissed off Seattle team is about to visit them and destroy them.

 

GROUP 2:  “At least possibly getting run out of the playoffs in the first or second round gives you another reason to watch games besides fantasy football.”

Bills:  Haven’t you been a preseason dark horse for like 5 straight years?

Ravens: They are destined for a wildcard deciding final game with the Browns.

Browns:  They are destined for a wildcard deciding final game with the Ravens.

Steelers:  I am pretty sure the only reason they made Group 2 is because I am a fan.  Bottom of this heap.

Chargers:  Schedule, people.  They might literally lose their last five games.  Check their schedule (@Ravens, Pats, Broncos, @49ers, @KC).

Panthers:  They are just irritating and get to play Falcons and Bucs twice.

Lions:  In the running with that defense to be the best team in Group 2.  I think Packers take their division and ruin home field chance.  I only have room for so many teams.  Sorry, Ponto.

Bears: Still not seeing the consistency of a team like that on paper should.

Cowboys:  Win at Seattle was impressive.  We have seen this before.  Dallas will fall apart on home stretch. Maybe a 5 or 6 seed.

Cardinals:  Buying the playoffs, not buying beating Green Bay at Green Bay or Seattle at Seattle.

Pats:  Aside from health and a slow start, you are still there…just hanging around.  But loss of Mayo and Ridley make me cautious.

GROUP 3:  “You, my friend, are a possible contender.”

Bengals:  On paper, legit, with a percentage of New York Giant inconsistency.  Still get Steelers twice, Browns twice, Jaguars, Texans so home field is a definite possibility.

Broncos:  They are hoping that this waste of time regular season somehow allows them to locate a consistent running game.

Colts:  Still my closet pick, people.  They have it all.

Saints:  Whatever.  Record, schmecord.  They will make a run.

Packers:  Done with slow start.  Arguably best QB in league we somehow forgot about.

Eagles: Not sold, but they still are 5-1, and both Dallas and them have relatively tough schedules.  Think they pull the division and a home game.  This ties with Bengals for worst team in this group.

49ers:  Slow start threw people off.  This team has the goods.

Seahawks:  Loss at home last week or not, plenty of time to right the ship.