Come on…what would it be of course?

February 15, 2015 Filler

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock. Not an airplane rant. A speed version. I have too much to say. I don’t have plans either, but I need to watch the ASG. Let’s turn and burn.

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I am shaving my head for kids’ cancer. Donate if you would. https://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/759142/2015

Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for coming aboard (the boat). This will be a good one…IF you like my Sunday rants. One sentence per hook and one sentence only.
Hey, media, I am cool with you. You have a job to do. Let’s write off today that Kevin Durant was grumpy this morning.
Starting NOW-that is a Seinfeld joke.
The first quarter of the All Star Game in the NBA is the best part of ANY ASG.
And the last quarter, when they care.
I am dog watching and it is glorious.
JJ, pops.
Anyone see or hear from my co-blogger?
My only fear about CJ2K being released is that he is a free agent, Bell will be suspended fot two games, and the Steelers need a RB.
I truly think I am going to wake up and read about DeMarcus Cousins killing someone.
Joseph, you might need to send me more cans of Easy Cheese.
I have gone through two in a day.
DON’T, Joseph, as that is just a joke.
The definition of a trap game is NC State vs. UL.
The definition of a great team not being able to shoot is either UNC or UL.
Read my blog more if you didn’t think I knew Zach LaVine wasn’t going to win the dunk contest.
If you REALLY want to fall off the couch, Google “lavine dunk montage” and watch his high school stuff.
I called Curry too, which is not exactly splitting the atom.
I totally missed on Jeff Teague, but HATE the new format for the skills competition…a three?
I think I care more about a dog dying than a human.
I get happy at simple things…like me right now catching the end of Under Siege.
I think My Way by Sinatra is one of the best songs of all time, and when I bite it, PLEASE remind Lindsey that I want that song played.
John, you are one of the coolest cats out there, and one of the best men I know.
Brie, how selective can you be?
I don’t feel as sorry about someone’s loneliness when they won’t even go on a date with someone Lindsey and I trust.
By the way. I am SO lucky. She is amazing.
So is that dog…
Lindsey tried to make up word to a song last night, and bless her heart, she somehow killed raccoons in her lyrics.
John and I spent WAY too much time last night figuring out the music to that Serial podcast.
I have never listened to that thing, and have no intentions of doing so.
I played the keys last night again, and will admit that I am pretty stellar on the keys…now that I have keys to practice on now.
I won’t have kids, I won’t have dogs in the near future, so THIS is my baby.
If I haven’t told you before, I know I wasn’t flashy, but might have been one of the best bartenders on this great earth.
I admit to not reading or clicking on anything relating to anything about Mississippi State and the plane.
John left, Lindsey went to sleep, I am the energizer bunny, and I can count about a thousand times when everyone goes to sleep and I just sit there by myself and think about Zach LaVine dunks.
On that note, I would like to thank Shauna, who introduced me to putting cream cheese inside of salami.
I happened to have both last night in my fridge.
For a guy who thinks VDay is just plain dumb, I think I did pretty darn well this weekend at making Lindsey happy.
More to come on this, but we wrote a song named “Unicorn” last night that has some talent, but needs LOTS of work.
I witnessed a car driving down my street yesterday with Chicago “Hard Habit to Break” going on full blast on a tiny car radio.
Kind of convenient that the Cuse punished itself the one year they suck.
Lindsey and I have found our new favorite place, The District, and I plan on going back VERY soon for the Morning Mac and Cheese with egg in it.
Eggs on anything are good.
Bo and Josh, you are pimps.
I think I am a 42 year old sucker with any menu item that involves the word “bologna.”
Seriously, the theme music for Under Siege is pretty freaking good.
A man from Jersey wrote his woman a love note every day for 40 years, and hopefully a haiku every two weeks makes Lindsey happy enough.
They are very thought out haikus.
I know it is Sunday when I am not paying attention to the TV and the Snapped music comes on.
I need a dog because I want to go grab more Easy Cheese right now but the dog is cuddled up by my feet.
I just used the word “cuddled.”
The girls are home, so we are definitely on the one sentence system.
I am supposed to give dibs to Lindsey for finding Wake vs. UVA on the TV when I thought it wasn’t on, and also for the heart attack it caused me.
UVA is SO different without Justin Anderson.
Come back soon…please.
Max’s Gill and Grill has really good cheese potatoes.
Seinfeld is the best show of all time, in case that was in doubt by anyone.
Yes-that is my #1-it was a tough list.
And stop asking me if I caught on to Curb your Enthusiasm-I did not.
Nice outfit, Christina.
I didn’t realize her breasts were that large.
Damn, I wish I had a pic.
I am reading this stimulating article in ESPN Mag about the chick who is fighting Ronda Rousey, and I ALMOST started rooting against Ronda…as the chick is from Denver and lives 3 miles away…but I will NOT.
Probably because of this very fake picture.
Lindsey and I met this couple again randomly at Max’s, and we have the same type of relationship, and it is true that he was still in my phone as “Tom F$%^ing Wild.”
Seeing Bill Walton at a bar when out with Lindsey is very frustrating as I can only imagine the weird shit he is saying.
New rule-I need close captioning when Bill Walton is on the screen.
I have “darius/ darren/ Darryl” on my list, and I assume it was about a Hootie and the Blowfish question.
Hold my hand.
Can we end both the Rob Lowe and Matthew McConaughey commercials?
Now that I am used to the World vs. the USA for the Friday night game, I expect a change in the rules before next year.
Sometime I want less media coverage, but I would actually want MUCH more coverage about the Harbaugh-San Fran breakup.
Usain Bolt will retire after the 2017 season because of sponsorship, and we should all be thankful we will get another year of his greatness after the 2016 Olympics.
I think that India beat Pakistan today in the cricket World Cup, but I am unsure of what round that is in.
I am not allowed to discuss WHY Lindsey’a sister is crashing with us tonight, and I will respect that, but anyone who…damn…almost went there.
It sucks.
Makes me SO mad.
I need to read this Princess Bride book really fast apparently.
Why can’t Bill Walton announce the ASG?
Hey, Zach (my boy), anytime you get Dr. J nodding his head or looking confused, you are doing something right.
It will be a train wreck, but I will watch the A-Rod stadium apology.
NASCAR drivers have to weigh in, and can they be OVER any certain weight?
Peyton is ready to play, and I am confused why the Broncos are hesitating at ALL.
I know that Vince Carter was the best college dunker of all time, but HOW does Kenny Smith think that McGhee is even IN the conversation for ANY best dunk in whatever list we are talking about?
First quarter in beginning, and I am still laughing at Harden saying “probably me.”
I think it is kind of convenient when my Jeep breaks down on a Saturday afternoon at Einstein’s when I have nothing else to do except for watch a movie.
I should have gotten the bagels and lox.
I made the movie.
Drew, how is the car search times two going?
Stop living in a vacuum if you have not seen the SWEET spin move that Mone Davis pulled on Kevin Hart the other night.
Mutombo is nominated for the HOF?
Please donate a few bucks to my St. Baldrick’s thing-good cause.
I am not selling anything, but just saying I am promoting a cause…difference.
Cheaterpari is nominated for the HOF???
Is the world ending, and can we verify he recruits these kids are legit before anointing him ANYTHING?
The finalists for our wedding are Turks, Barbados, and Negril, and when asked, my part of the decision is around water activities, swim up rooms, and whether I care if kids are around (and IF that is an advantage for me because there will be water slides and mac and cheese).
The A list for my bachelor party is: Scott, Aaron, Cerk, Andy, Vince, Kyle, Marty (oddly as he is a new employee and I have known him for like three months), Drew, Rob, Phil, and John.
I announce this because I know me, and I assume bachelor party take 2 WILL be a party.
Plush is one of the most underrated songs of all time.
Doesn’t he kind of look Ed Norton?
The acoustic version is just sick.
Sick is good.
I am happy to report that I actually took an hour nap the other day for the first time in about 10 years…I have endless energy and only took a nap because of a VDay request by my lady.
When does Drunk History start?
When does GOT start?
I wonder how many years the same printer system will be in place for bartenders, as my ear is just still programmed for that sound.
The ladies told me this ASG is boring, and I politely told them to relocate.
YOU, fit out, LeBron.
I have no idea what that means.
I know I don’t talk enough about hockey, but I know it, the Flyers are 23-22 in the “metropolitan” division (stupid), the Kane trade was decent, and the Helfrich signing was solid.
If you would like to engage me in a challenge about my knowledge of hockey, I will pay the tab, and will bring tissues when you cry about your stupid knowledge.
I am not on the legal team, and admit we don’t know enough about details, so I think that judging Hardy’s charges being dropped would be…naïve.
If you are still dwelling on hook #100, my email is in the opening.
Hey, Phils, the conversation about Cole Hamels starting or being released is confusing me, and I need a flowchart.
I don’t believe A.P. when he says he wants to stay in Minnesota.
I actually don’t believe anyone wants to stay in Minnesota.
Even you, Cerk.
I think I seriously like the show, Sharktank, and would be riveted if they ever told me the show was BS.
My ideas are the Tripod, the Frostzip, and the Rotation, but I have no answer when they ask me what my sales are.
I am being sucked into liking that theme song from Entourage.
Lindsey said it sounds like U2, and I bit my tongue in saying you mean “NEW U2???”
Joshua Tree, you’all.
NOT new U2.
Is Manziel still in rehab?
If so, can he get out, so he can do more dumb shit?
Shit-Lindsey just figured out the SNL 40 show was on-I might have to relocate to bedroom for second half of the crappy ASG.
Ross has dibs on being the first person to think of the word “Fillersophical.”
Ross is also the first person to think of Lines of Demarkation.
How did I not think of those two phrases?
This is pretty funny-I might diss the second half of the game.
I have decided that there are replacements for mainstream things, but there is NO replacement for Grey Poupon.
I think that Charlotte is lucky A) to be in the East and B) to get Mo Williams.
Let’s not forget that MO was the guy bringing the ball up with LeBron when the Cavs were pretty freaking good.
It is pretty weird that Kyle Shanahan is saying nice stuff about Manziel presently.
Are we now believing that the Cavs are decent and that there was nothing to worry about?
Fit OUT.
It is obvious that I have no joke for the Fit Out thing.
I am depressed that Winston is still predicted as the #1 pick.
The Family Guy episode when Peter has his own theme music makes me fall off the couch.
Every-time.
There is a new Cuban prospect in talks with teams, I don’t know his name, I am transparent, and you should give me dibs for my honesty.
I am transparent, but for any of you still dwelling on hook #100, I know more than you…trust me.
I am not sure I care or not if Mike McCarthy has handed off the keys to the offense to anyone else.
I don’t care what people say…Melo playing in the ASG and THEN shutting it down after is BS, and he should respect his team’s investment more and not treat this as a game.
The remote control is next to me, but I am actually kind of enjoying this 40^th SNL-I will wait until I am done blog or the fourth quarter to grab control back.
I concur that the college shot clock should be 30 seconds.
I think you are an idiot if you think that a one out of twelve chance would put Riley Cooper in the Black History Month part of the calendar and that it wasn’t planned.
I am excited for Paul George to come back.
I am excited for Charlie Weis to never coach again.
I am excited for MLB to shrink the strike zone.
I am excited for Broncos to not understand what franchising Julius Thomas is.
I am NOT excited for a bad ending to this Anthony Mason story, as although he was a dick, he also redefined the position.
I am excited for the SI swimsuit edition to come out so SI can post SPORTS stories on their SPORTS site.
I think I could spend an entire day on Deadspin.
The NFL chief examiner has ties to the PATS-just keeps getting weirder?????
Whether you love or hate Fox (you should hate them), we are stuck with them until 2026 for the WC.
Sorry-forgot I am writing this in the U.S.-that is the soccer big thing.
Wow, Paul McCartney sounded like shit when he first started singing-he warmed up though.
My interns have it on their to do list to overhaul this site, but it won’t be this week, next week, or anytime in the near future.
Amazing how sending a bunch of plants to your lady in front of her coworkers makes them so happy.
Did Men At Work go off the air?
Is Safeway phasing out just MY stuff?
Where the HELL is ESPN radio?
Not on 102.3 and I should be texted if you move.
Lindsey and I are excited for this new movie, Train wreck, as we both think Any Schumer is the bomb.
And perfect for that part.
I don’t care if Ray Rice apologizes or not.
Josh Scobee is a very, very stupid person, but maybe pissing off Tiger is exactly what the El Tigre doctor ordered.
Lawyers suck because Nick Fairley is not charged now.
I have no basis for that last hook.
I would love to have the energy and write you the lyrics for the song “Unicorn” John and I wrote last night, but I will save the lyrics, and I have been told by him that it is good music and bad lyrics we have to keep away from the public for the time being.
Lindsey was making up lyrics and somehow sang about killing raccoons…not sure how that happened.
I am bored of making fun of Mr. Dolan from the Knicks.
That is it. Were you not entertained???? Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.