Enjoying the last 9 holes of a golf Major for 2015 while fighting the depression that I have to wait until next April for the next one.

And I promised someone this, so here you go.  

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock as a golf Major is on.  Not an airplane rant.  Afternoon rant watching the front nine. Not a speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  We are about to approach the back nine on a Sunday Major.  Let’s MOVE.  Quick one today.
2. Yes, JJ.  Pops.  It is a freaking Sunday with Major golf going on.  Duh.
3. Let’s just get this out of the way.  I know more about sports than pretty much anyone on TV.  I have a friend named Vince who was good enough at basketball that he legitimately thought about trying out.  Vince is white.  I am white.  That is important to this story.  So, I am sitting there with  a tall white guy and a black ex-Oakland cop talking sports.  We go through EVERY possible football list of best ever after many beers (list will be posted below, but I promised Walt I would make this #1).  Walt then puts forth the following question.  Who are the greatest five white players of all time?  I drilled down and made sure we went by position.  This is ten minutes after Walt said Ken Stabler was one of the top five QB’s of all time and at that time I had the upper hand.  Then, this happened.  I take the paper and write down five names.  Vince takes the paper and writes down five names.  Then, Walt looks at the paper and laughs.  The words I will never forget in my life EVER are these.  “You white guys forgot to put Larry Bird on your list?”  I can write paragraphs after this, but I think that there is nowhere to go.  Yes, two guys who can ball with the best of them and who happen to be white forgot temporarily Larry Bird.  It happened.  I am transparent.  What is funny is if you asked who my ALL TIME MULTI COLOR five, I would have Mr. Bird at my 3.  Dammit.  There you go, Walt.  Noted, and admitted.  
4. I am not sure that I ever want to have someone over when I am watching Sunday Major golf, even IF I had friends.  I LOVE sitting here on my couch listening to Jim and being his friend.  
5. Vince and I have an awesome friend named Cory. He could probably start at DE for any team in the NFL, but he does not.  We found out he was out solo last night.  We walked for like 20 minutes to find this place, but I had no idea DADA existed.  I am now a fan now, for the record.  Taking an Uber next time to it, as I should not MAKE excuses to walk through the hood.  Done that enough.  
6. I didn’t see any art, by the way.
7. I went to Tony P’s this morning since Lindsey is out of town and never wants to go there. I am not really sure how I am 42 and never figured out until two years ago that eggs and pizza are awesome.  
8. I am also confused why I didn’t put cream cheese on everything in the world before two years ago.
9. I am also confused how I didn’t like salmon and lox before 3 years ago.
10. I have a lot of questions.
11. I have decided to punch in the face the next person who calls an NFL preseason “game” a game. It is practice with cameras, people.  Get a hold of your life.
12. I think that Man City and Chelsea play the entire year, because one beat the other 3-0, but how do they play all the time?
13. Sure, he hasn’t won anything (yet), but I would extend the contract of Phillip Rivers also. Dude is a gamer.  
14. You might not know who Mustapha Heron is, and that is why I am here. Auburn is not a basketball school, but has Bruce Pearl.  Dude is #26 for the 2016 class and they just got a verbal.  Nice job, Bruce.  
15. If you care, I missed my tee time today, but have had a productive day.
16. Lindsey called at her gate in Raleigh and asked me what I was doing at 1225. I said brunch, cleaning, laundry, work, and golf, and she said “That’s it?”  Sorry, babe.  Didn’t mean to enjoy my Sunday much less than I should.  House is clean though.  Cat is happy.  And I am packed to go to my work trip/ get my new Steelers hat.
17. I even cleaned the freaking microwave.
18. James Harden says Ty Lawson is VERY focused for his new team. Yeah, James.  Bring over a fifth of Jack and then update me.  
19. I THINK there is a NASCAR race on, but not sure. They are turning left today.  Don’t care.
20. Patrick Warburton might be the funniest person in the entire world.  
21. But I am not mad that he is not the new host of the Late Show, because Stephen Colbert is pretty freaking funny also and talks about bears.  
22. If you went on his site years ago, you had to sign off as a fan to kill any bear you met.  
23. Once again, top five most underrated movies of all time…
24. FSU has outlined a plan to prevent off field issues. Or, the plan COULD be to not recruit thugs.
25. The fact that Tristan Thompson is controlling his salary and that it is over $12 million SICKENS me.
26. I admit to never hearing the name Anirban Lahiri before the PGA today.
27. I have Wheat Thins by me and am wishing there was a halftime in golf, as I would get some Easy Cheese for them. I eat Cheez Its at work.  I do not eat them at home. I eat Cheetos when I want to CHEAT on Cheez Its.  
28. I go on Facebook once a month. My FB picture is me in St. John.  STILL one of my favorite trips of all time and I thank Lindsey’s family for extending me outside of the U.S.  I wear out my Soggy Dollar shirt and people come up to me and ask me if it IS that cool?    I answer YES.  Trunk Bay also could be the next best beach I have ever seen.  
29. 
30. Can’t believe I swam in that water…
31. Lindsey and I have tried to buy hotel pillows. They are ok, but how come hotel pillows are SOOOOO much better than anything else you can buy?
32. Golf intro music is amazing and makes me want to run into a wall. Watch Tin Cup again in the last 30 minutes.  That music gives me CHILLS.  
33. I have almost run out of contacts and therefore are wearing my extremely DOPE HIP glasses. Adjusting to finally having the right prescription in the last 15 years, but I look DOPE.
34. I would like to ask Remember the Titans to never be shown on TV again. I got home after the bars last night and literally stood in the middle of my room watching the last 90 minutes of the flick.  
35. Jason Day is just WRECKING this course.
36. Thanks, Josh, for endorsing me on LinkedIn for “blogging.” I pour my heart into this shit.
37. I admit to not opening the article that said “Tebow cheered by fans.”
38. They just made the turn. MY time.  Saddest happy day of the year or happiest sad day of the year.  Why?  Because after today, I have to wait until next April to watch Major golf again.
39. TOLD you Dustin Johnson was going to blow it.  He goes home to this, so don’t cry for him.  
40. That’s it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.
41. ENJOY the final nine holes. I know I will.