Get Off My Lawn. #lavarball
GET OFF MY LAWN
By The Fillerbuster
This is long overdue, as my frustration has been building up. A week before my star preview of HOPEFULLY the Steelers and Pats, I need to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening. Writers who don’t work 65 hours a week might have more organization, more data, and more thoroughness, but it is what it is. I am a walking sports almanac who happens to sell software full time. These are MY thoughts with limited research, so some things are going to be safely on the tracks and others will be like I am…slightly OFF the tracks. Did I need a little online research to get the events all listed? Sure. Am I splitting the atom by saying LaVar Ball is irritating? Now. But, do I still want to state it in my own way? Yes. Let’s move.
As always (for at least 2018), the old blog still exists in quick hit, one sentence style. All of those numbered thoughts are under the This And That dropdown ON my site. You actually have to click once or twice to get to it. I know. Painful and tedious. Damn internet. This will be updated during the Saints-Vikings game, so that dropdown will be done by 5pm Sunday.
I typically stay away from politics in this blog. Sorry I have to make a couple of Trump comments in this Cast. What can I say? LaVar has made worlds collide magically.
LAVAR BALL EVENTS (not necessarily in order):
JETS PANTHERS DE/TE: I know more about LaVar Ball after the last few days than most people on this earth. While hanging out here and there, I have been reading articles and watching videos non-stop. Did you know LaVar was in the NFL for a couple of years? He was a practice squad player for a couple of years. Actually, shouldn’t he talk about his ability to PLAY on a major school roster and THEN switching and becoming a professional athlete at ANOTHER sport MORE than he brags about OTHER stuff? I think that is actually MORE impressive.
BROTHERS NAMED LA TOO: LaFrance, LaValle, LaRenzo, LaShon. I am not making this up. The whole FAMILY is jacked up. Roger Clemens can name all of his kids starting with K. That seems better oddly, steroids or not. LaVar’s four brothers’ names all start with “la.” Not lying. Then, he continues the “l” theme with his kids? Seeing La La Land ONCE as a dude was painful enough, but THIS family? Even worse version of La La Land.
DID NOT KNOW MB1 WAS FOR YOUNGEST KID?: Maybe you are more in the loop, but did you know that the MB1, a show at $400 or above is actually for the youngest, more unknown and unproven kid? The one still in high school (or was?). I didn’t. Extend the sadness.
2.2 WSU: This was his PPG average at Washington State. Washington State has perennially been a basketball powerhouse over the years, so this is understandable, but kind of less of a leg to stand on, IF he even had one before.
That was sarcasm. Washington State is not a basketball powerhouse except for a few years with my present UVA coach.
MAGIC JOHNSON WITH A JUMPER: He pegged Lonzo Ball early on as Magic Johnson WITH a jumpshot. Kind of like Blake Bortles comparing himself to the pain of LeBron James, non sequitur. And Magic did OK with his “non-jumper” and made some sort of Hall of Fame? By the way, 52% is a fine and dandy FG% for a non-front court player for a career.
GUARANTEED DIVISION I TOURNEY WIN: Didn’t look at the bracket, LaVar? He guaranteed his oldest boy would win the NCAA Tourney before it went on, and that prediction is about as accurate as him saying the Lakers WOULD be in the playoffs during Lonzo’s first year. Ran into UK in the tourney, and the Lakers are 15-27 and in the 12th slot in the standings.
ALL THREE SONS WOULD BE ONE AND DONE: Said before the below events, that didn’t exactly pan out either. I believe you need to go to college to actually be a one and doner.
COMMENTS ON UCLA’S WHITE PLAYERS: Hey, why not add race problems TO his cockiness, right? Let’s pick on the coach’s kid (Alford), one kid who was an All-American high school player and still is in school (Welsh), and a guy who was drafted in the first round (Leaf), and bring us back to cave man status by talking about white players and black players in a different light. Good idea of being abrasive AND ignorant. Really effective in getting across your point.
KILL MJ IN ONE ON ONE (2.4 MILLION VIEWS): You can’t truly fault the guy. Who is getting over on who actually? Sure, the idiocy of the comment we can take a look at, but 2.4 million HAVE viewed that video. The Fillerbuster is firmly in the court (no pun intended) that MJ is the best ever, and sure the comment irks him (talking like Rickey Henderson briefly evidently), but this was still when I was entertained by his antics and figured he had a broader plan overall.
LONZO BETTER NOW THAN STEPH CURRY: Sure, let’s compare your kid (not in the NBA yet at the time) to an MVP of the NBA. Sounds like a solid plan in your world dominance plan.
BIG BALLER BRAND ($495): When do you draw the line, no matter HOW much money you make? For example, no matter HOW much money I make, I still have a problem with spending more than $300 for ANY 2-3 hour experience of sports viewing live. It just doesn’t figure mathematically for me. So, I guess you could argue that sneakers at least are reusable. Ok. Well, I will say my limit on sneaks is about $200 (BEFORE I blew out my knee years ago), now would be about $100, and I will STILL stick with the $14.95 Starbury’s still in my car/gym bag and be fine with that price point. A court shoe should NOT be as expensive as what I sold my 1996 Cherokee for (although neither I guess got me to and from work successfully).
ON RECORD COMMENTS WITH MAGIC JOHNSON BEFORE LONZO DRAFTED: He PROMISED Magic ON record he would NOT be a distraction. Fact. The fact that he not only became a distraction, but became an independent side show in addition to that, is ridiculous. If you are going to be the loudmouth NBA father, at least respect what you promised.
JUNIOR BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION: They have the NBDL. They have the college game. These things will NOT go away. Creating a competitive league is NOT going to work. Good idea to give kids a place to go NOT overseas who don’t want to waste a college’s time? Ok. Not a bad one. In comparison to other stuff that comes out of his mouth, his best idea (not saying much). But, the reality? One, he doesn’t mention the resources involved in organizing this and how he will attract enough viewership. Two, in all reality, any kid who IS a one and doner, probably will make more than $10k UNDER the table anyway. As a viewer, I would rather Ice Tea’s league of wash-ups and 4 pointers before watching this unproven startup league.
LIANGELO’S CHINA DETAINMENT: No one cheers for a kid doing something dumb in a foreign country, but don’t tell me you didn’t chuckle when you found out who it was involved. Sounds like a logical plan. Let’s have the son of the most out of control father piss off a country we are not great with politically. Couldn’t WRITE this, and I would rather have Dennis Rodman keep leading the charge, and THAT is a problem. Oh, and the fact that his kid, the son of the guy selling overpriced sneaks, was stealing overpriced items from expensive manufacturers like Louis Vuitton? Even better. Never better (said in LaVar voice).
TRUMP COMMENTS: Then, AFTER the event shook out, he fires tweets at Trump doing the OPPOSITE of thanking him. The only redeeming part of this entire scenario was that we then linked the two biggest idiots in our society, LaVar Ball and POTUS.
LIANGELO PULLED FROM UCLA: LiAngelo then got suspended from school. What does LaVar do? Pulled him from school. Good example. Let’s go against a respectable institution because YOUR kid messed up.
LIMELO PULLED FROM HIGH SCHOOL: Dominoes. If you pull one kid from college, you might as well pull your younger kid from HIGH SCHOOL, right? Sure. The only people happier than people who watch this side show eagerly with a roll of the eye are the kids who were ON that Chino high school basketball team. Listen, kids don’t get the training outside of the system as they do INSIDE the system. Too many examples in the past, and too much common sense. They might MAKE it to the NBA, but we will really never know what they COULD have done had they not had him ruling their lives. Shame.
LITHUANIA: Send them to Lithuania. Yeah. There are MORE slow white players over there, so that makes sense, right? Let’s put the most volatile family on earth in a system that is already established globally and feeds players into the NBA. Perfect. Just like a smirked when the Ball kid got busted in China, I also smirked this week when both kids, in one of the LOWER leagues LaVar probably can’t even pronounce, were both held SCORELESS in a game. I hate rooting against youth, but the guy has made that happen with me.
STAY IN YOUR LANE-HERD KRISTINE LEAHY: Watching this video is horrifying. The absolute disrespect he showed Kristine Leahy is a travesty and makes me less proud as a MALE. Telling her to stay in her lane WHILE having his back to her is a train wreck. Back in the stone age, LaVar. It took a while for us all to get adjusted to hearing them on mic’s, but I will say that the females in sports deserve ULTIMATE respect and have MORE than earned their due, and people in a media situation like LaVar can do everyone a favor and treat them with MORE respect, as we have a LOT of decades of being derogatory as a society whole to make up for in that arena.
MADE STAY IN YO LANE SHIRTS: Then, he made shirts. Once again, who is actually winning? And could he BE this stupid? Not sure, but I would like a list of the people who BOUGHT that shirt AND who bought his $400 sneakers and egg ALL of their houses.
AAU-WOMAN REF REPLACING: He REPLACED a ref in AAU ball. This goes hand in hand with the above, but come on, LaVar. You could tell me you could take down MJ and that your son is better than Steph Curry and I will take it with a grain of salt. You disrespecting women as a whole? Disgusting, and makes your funny side show embarrassing. We go with possibly laughing WITH his funny videos to laughing AT someone who has a mic and makes men look really, really bad.
LAKERS COACHING COMMENTS: He is undermining a respectable young coach, an old established organization, and the NBA overall. That roster is bad, your son added or not. Please eliminate insult to injury by saying that it is the coach.
REALITY SHOW ALL IN THE FAMILY: You would think I would have a lot to say on this, but we make reality shows about everything else under the sun, so this is not even really that funny overall. This is like the unfunny version of making an Ozzy Osbourne family reality show.
WRESTLING APPEARANCE: Well, of COURSE, he was on a wrestling event, given his style fits in that mold. We shouldn’t be surprised. Our hopes of him STAYING in wrestling were not to be. He came back to basketball. Downer.
PATRICK BEVERLEY WHO: One of his big things is asking “who?” This is NOT like a good salesperson saying “why.” Not even close. Patrick Beverley has been on some winning teams, and has averaged close to 10 points in his whole CAREER in the NBA after being a non-guaranteed second round draft pick out of Arkansas in 2009. Leave him alone. He has averaged for 8 years what your savior son has averaged in his first season. Patrick has shown longevity, and plays defense like an animal. He might not be a household name, but he has sure earned what he has.
TRUMP WHO: Oh, and while we are on this subject, he said “who” when asked about the Trump thing. The POTUS, bro. Idiot or not, I am pretty sure we all know who he is.
SENT TRUMP SNEAKS AND PICTURE OF HIM DUNKING ON HIM: After the China incident, he sent Trump sneakers AND pics of LaVar dunking on the POTUS. At least it progressed their Twitter relationship. There is the saying of competition playing down to its competition. Well, not in this case. They are each other’s equal. Want a reality show? Put these two in a room together and see what happens. Let’s throw in Bill Walton and Charles Barkley and we have must see TV.
BBB GIVES BBB AN F: The Better Business Bureau gave his company an F. Always quick with his dumb comments, LaVar cleverly said the only BBB is Big Baller Brand (HOW did we walk into THAT one?). As what’s his name on SNL said last night, the F was for Fenomenal. Not seen any of the SNL clips. They are pretty spot on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTrJJG_3ow8
(I have to say I am oddly impressed by him pulling the BBB line, and was kind of depressed his sneaker company DID have the same intiials).
HOW LONZO HANDLES ALL THIS (commercial): Feel sorry for the kids? I personally do. But, they seem to have a paradigm of reality I guess. Not seen the commercial? And this was made VERY early on in LaVar’s antics (as things obviously got worse). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBi6LHwokh0
RICHARD WILLIAMS/ EARL WOODS COMPARISON: This applies, very LOOSELY. Why loosely? Because when Richard and Earl started irritating us early on, most sports fans had been reading about the TALENT of Venus/Serena and Tiger for YEARS. We KNEW they would be all-timers. This was clear. Hell, if LeBron’s dad was overbearing and loud, I wouldn’t have minded it. If Zion Willimason has a father who wants to vent on a mic a little, I am also fine with it. Lonzo didn’t deliver a college championship (the one thing we can’t give Melo (the OKC Melo not LiMelo) flack for) and was just a high round NBA draft pick. He hasn’t DONE anything yet, except be really good. He hasn’t proved his SPECIALNESS yet. Therefore, the antics of LaVar are magnified and much more irritating.
So, who has he pissed off? Let see. MJ, Sir Charles, women, white people, black people, English teachers, his kids most likely, sneaker companies, the BBB, capitalism, Patrick Beverley, the President of the US, wrestlers, basketball coaches, refs, reality shows, T-Shirt companies, China, Chino High School, the NBDL, every college in America, Magic Johnson, Steph Curry, La La Land, baby naming books, the Jets, the Panthers, Washington State University, and the whole country of Lithuania. Probably Clint Eastwood too in some odd way. And I assume LaVar probably has a problem with gay people too, but the subject hasn’t come up. Actually, I better get to my point and post this before he does something new.
SYNOPSIS: This whole thing would have been bad enough without the racism and sexism. This whole thing would have been bad enough if it was some Podunk high school in the middle of nowhere and some college that simply had a program. But, this is magnified not only HOW he has stepped outside of his lane, how he is an overbearing father, how he thinks he can beat the system, and how he has called out anyone in his path, but because of WHO he has done these acts to. The Lakers and UCLA Bruins are arguably two of the greatest organizations/institutions of all time AND two of the biggest basketball factories we have ever seen. They were there before him, they are still there during him, and they will prosper well AFTER him. It is one thing to disrespect everything in this world, but to insult THOSE institutions? Absurd. Am I guilty of reading new material on him? Sure. I think most of us are. But, here is the deal. It is not like he is Ali and talking crazy smack about HIMSELF. He is living vicariously THROUGH his kids, and likely ruining his kids’ full potential in the same motion.
LaVar, I admire the fact that you have used the media to your advantage for exposure. I admire you started a $400 per sneaker company where SOMEONE is buying them. I admire the fact that I never know whether you are really that dumb or really that smart. But, please stop this. Be outspoken, but do me two favors.
- Be respectful to race and gender. You will be amazed at the continued exposure you will get saying you can take MJ one on one IF you actually stay clean on the respect front.
- Have all of the idiotic interviews you want, but respect the institutions your kids are representing. Don’t burn all of your bridges at one time. You can be the mad man on the sidelines, still get yours, but still recognize who the employer is. Listen, man. You need them, and giving them a little respect might even make them need YOU at some point. But not now, and the kids you live vicariously through need to accomplish a few things before you take the mic full time again.
- Perhaps let your kids make a few decisions on their own. Maybe they kind of wanted to be big man on campus for a year. The system isn’t so bad. Tim Duncan and Michael Jordan are both HOF’ers. One went to college for ALL the time, and MJ went and won a title quickly and THEN left college. Ferguson, Mudiay, and Jennings aren’t exactly household names these days. Let them have their college time IF THEY WANT TO.
Basically, I am not saying you have to totally go into the background, and please speak your mind to a degree, but, for now…stay off my lawn.
LINKS I LOVED THIS WEEK AND YOU SHOULD LOOK AT:
ITEMS THAT DIDN’T MAKE THE FOCUS CUT THIS TIME AROUND:
| BLOG LIST |
| FOCUS IDEAS |
| colin kaepernick (always pissed he doesn’t have a job) |
| cfp title game recap (old news now although my notes were fun) |
| Trae young (plenty of time to discuss this lad) |
| broncos qb, coach status (sure it will be still a trainwreck in another week) |
| ucf raising nationa championship banner parade (old news) |
| bengals and lewis (he is staying so plenty of time to discuss) |
| NCAA sat (crazy stuff going on in college hoops, but you will get that down line) |
| best present coaches (I love lists, so will keep this in the brainstorm) |
| top 25 next year (plenty of time to discuss) |
| leveon bell to sit out or retire if franchised again (lots to say-will hold off for now) |
ALSO:
Matt Damon is in a movie slump
That’s it for today. Hope you enjoyed or are more informed. I need to post this and get to my Steelers game, where my world totally stops. Will I blog again? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.