Here are your fins and motorized thing. I will stay in the cage.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Lunch break.  12:30

1)  Lozada files for divorce from Chad Johnson, and Chad Johnson actually gives a serious apology to the media.  Come on, Chad.  You are CHAD.  Change your name to Chad “Sorrylozada” or something.  You have to do SOMETHING idiotic to follow up your initial idiotic act.

2)  Andrew Bynum is flying overseas to get his knee scoped.  Yup.  THAT trade is looking really good for the 76ers about now, isn’t it?

3)  I hear something about Red Sox players/ owners meetings, and that at least 17 guys don’t like Bobby V.  I don’t WHO is the cause of this.  BOTH sides are picking the WRONG time of year to solve this.  You are professionals.  You have smaller players meetings that don’t attract attention, and ride out the year best you can…and THEN complain.

3a)  By the way, Dustin Pedroia, it is inconsistent to attend and be vocal at a 17 player meeting, and then say to the media that “he shouldn’t be fired” the next day.  Pick a side.

4)  Mike Wallace is on pace to return for the first game of the season for the Steelers.  Speed only does so much, bro.  You need to practice.  Between him coming in late, and James Harrison suddenly needing knee surgery, I might have to go spend some August time looking at my boys’ depth chart.  Damn.  Not good heading into Denver for the Peyton Manning show.

5)  The new Big East commish says that all his teams are “united.”  With all of the changing alignments over the last year, no word on whether he was even asking teams still in his conference.  Someone pop quiz that dude on who is in his conference.

6)  I believe Les Miles that Tyrann Matheiu won’t be back this year.  I think he needs to stand strong on this one.  I like even more that Tyrann’s parents are telling the media that there is nothing to report on the football front right now because they would like to concentrate on him becoming a better man first.  Classy parents.

7)  Ok, NY Giants.  You either need to TELL the team they are roughing it so they KNOW it and therefore won’t complain to the media about the beds causing the mounting injuries at camp.  OR.  You need to buy them better beds.  Don’t straddle the fence.

8)  Hey, I accidentally just walked into a joke on an earlier hook.  I hear that 4×100 medalist Jeff Demps just filed paperwork to play in the NFL.  Jeff, I got a plan.  Go talk to the Raiders.

9)  Cedric Benson is now a Green Bay Packer.  Packer fans MIGHT roll their eyes on the pickup, but they better recognize that they had to stop practice EARLY the other day.  Why?  Because they didn’t have enough running backs healthy to run a freaking drill.  Solid pickup.  And a necessity.

10)  Matt Flynn has been named the starting QB for the Seahawks.  I don’t even understand why this took so long.  You DID go out and proactively SIGN the guy.  The grass is green, the sky is blue…yada yada yada.

11)  I saw a very cool show during Shark Week last night explaining how the movie Jaws changed everything we thought or knew about sharks.  It had cool stories from the movie, and facts disputing myths proposed by it for entertainment purposes.  I enjoyed the show, but also realized my bucket list top 5 event of swimming in the cage with Great Whites in the water was pretty trivial compared with what this dude Mark Marks is doing (his family really DOUBLE named him).  Mark decided the cage gave him limited interactivity, so now the dude just jumps in the water and follows them around.  And no.  Not NURSE sharks.  GREAT WHITES.  All the power to you, bro.  I draw the line at the cage.

12)  Interesting fact about the Texas Rangers as we near the home stretch.  They have lost SEVEN straight games in the Bronx.  Ummm.  Guys?  You DO know you will probably have to go through them to get to the promised land, right?

13)  Interesting fact about myself.  I have NEVER downloaded ONE app on my smartphone.  I don’t even venture into the “market” on my Droid.

14)  I wonder if Tim Tebow did anything “exciting” for his birthday yesterday.  Hardy har har.  Speaking of someone I want to leave the cage and go swim with the sharks.

15)  The Worcester Tornadoes, a professional baseball team, had to close up shop MID-GAME for repossession due to financial woes.  I guess there is also a reason I have never even heard of them or the Canadian-American Association of Professional Baseball.

16)  Nadal will miss the US Open due to continued knee problems.  Once again, he might really be hurt, or he is just already practicing on clay for next year.  That is ALL he cares about.

17)  If I called myself The Fillerbuster, watched The Jimmy episode of Seinfeld, and then watched highlights of Rickey Henderson from back in the day, I would officially complete the third person cycle.  I LOVE that episode of Seinfeld.  The Fillerbuster wants to move on.

18)  I sneezed 23 straight times last night.  This was about 5 away from my all time record, and 8 above the usual over under.  When I sneeze, I do NOT f$%^ around.

19)  That is it.  12:50.  Hope you enjoyed the rant.  Will I blog again tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.