Here I go again on my Rant…
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock as far as either the short flight will be over, or I will get through my list. Let’s see who wins. Second consecutive airplane rant. On my way home right now. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) I say no order of importance but you have to be kidding me if I am not starting with Tim Tebow. The Pats cut him. Is this really IT? Is it over? I guess my only concern is that at his next news conference, he will say he is going to continue the journey (I can see him phrasing it EXACTLY like that) and has decided that he will now try to be only a fullback or tight end. I hope I am wrong. VERY wrong. Go away, Tim.
2) The Pirates just picked up Justin Morneau. They are not playing around in the Steel City these days (at least for baseball). It wasn’t that long ago when Morneau was on the top tier for MVP voting. He also brings a veteran leadership to the clubhouse that won’t hurt them.
3) Seriously, someone pinch me. It is after the All Star Break, and the Pirates are still battling for first in their division. That is just crazy talk.
4) My flight TO my location was early. Not sure how a short flight gets underestimated that bad. We had to sit in some holding area for 30 minutes. Maybe we had Denzel for our Captain and he needed to get on the ground to get a drink.
5) Being on a brief mini vacation with Lindsey, I admittedly missed some of the Saturday football. We did find an OU bar for Lindsey, so I watched that entire game. I would like to personally thank Clemson for giving us ACC people a LITTLE comeback when talking with SEC people and other REAL conferences. We now have ONE win to brag about. Sweet.
6) TWO wins actually. Virgnia beat Brigham Young. Of course, they were home and SHOULD have won, but that is neither here nor there. We are now 1-0 going into the pasting that will be Oregon over UVA. But, I can be excited maybe at least through the first quarter? First two possessions? Five minutes of real time at the beginning of the game?
7) Mark that Georgia-Clemson as a VERY important game as far as Heisman hopefuls. We can already pretty much demote Aaron Murray, and now put Tajh Boyd at the top tier at least for the beginning of the season.
8) I will say this. Wherever you are in the nation, there ARE Sooner fans. Strong following. Thanks for the hospitality, Sheila.
9) Peyton Manning has asked Bronco fans to be a little quieter while they are on offense. Peyton, are you asking the actual fans, or the other team’s fans who buy the tickets from some lazy, Broncos fan who just wants some cash?
10) Groan if you want, locals. In the Steelers games I personally have been to at Sports Authority, we had a pretty good showing.
11) I have decided that if I start carrying around a hankerchief, I am getting old.
12) I have decided that the man in the airport Friday with a purple suitcase was drunk when he bought that thing.
13) I have decided that the guy near 6th and Logan in the park yelling at people about the Broncos lost his shit years ago, but he evidently still decided to get drunk in the middle of the day still.
14) I have decided that taking a picture of the Grand Canyon is kind of useless. It just looks like…a picture. Experiencing it though was beyond awesome.
15) Lindsey and I were watching some cool show on films the other day. We almost watched the whole thing, but then luckily realized we were on vacation and should not be watching PBS in the middle of the day.
16) Surprise you women, men. It is worth it.
17) Boom goes the dynamite. Leyton Hewitt decided to bring back his talents when some people actually liked Nickelback and took down #6 seed Del Potro. No one dislikes Leyton Hewitt. He is like the Steve Elkington of tennis. He is that cool, Australian cat that we strive to be as cool as.
18) Steve Elkington SERIOUSLY is the shit.
19) Well, there goes THAT plan. North Dakota State took out K-State, giving Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, and Texas a big reason to smile.
20) I am on a plane, so I can’t check this stuff out. Ricky Stenhouse won the pole for the NASCAR race this weekend. Isn’t that the dude who dates Danica Patrick? In the words of George from Seinfeld, he “has hand.”
21) I had no point there. Not even sure why I WROTE it. I mean, not only do I not like talking NASCAR, but I am talking about someone winning the POLE of a race?
22) Seferian Jenkins was suspended this weekend. Who is he? I think some NFL player. I actually wrote him on my list because Seferian is like the coolest name ever I have decided. It makes me want to watch Gladiator or 300.
23) There are many definitions of “rock bottom.” Whatever your definition is, I will tell you that Matt Leinart has hit SOME definition of it. When the BILLS are releasing you even after having people injured, it is a bad sign.
24) I watched a portion of Les Miserables this weekend. A PORTION. I admire Russel Crowe for taking the leap and trying to pull that off. Truly admire it. He did ok. I still think that watching him sing is goofy. In Gladiator he is destroying people, and then this.
25) I am putting Anne Hathaway on my hated female actress list. Sandra Bullock, the captain, welcomes you, Anne.
26) QB Vince Young failed to make the Packers squad. I think him, Matt Leinart, and Tim Tebow should go out tonight and just get HOUSED. I thought of THIS too. You ALL can take out with you your championship trophies.
27) The Aggies suspended 4 players for 2 games. Hell of a program they are running down there.
28) The Pats kept Gronkowski on their active roster. That’s about as obvious as the Hoodie can ever be when it comes to injuries. He probably was trying to figure out how to not tell us THAT.
29) One of the reasons I like traveling is to read the local sports section. You get a pulse for the city and…WHAT? We are already landing? That sucks. I am not done. Oh well. To be continued tonight or tomorrow. Peace. Damn. “we have to get the airplane ready early for turbulence? Don’t they know I blog?” Ugghhh.
30) Ok. I am back. Monday night. Post Taste of CO the day after, so this one is for JJ. Pops in me this time. Lots to get to in continuation, and I believe this is the first ever continuation Rant. There is a first for everything.
31) Hey, Zack Morris (guy who gave me his CD at MC Hammer at Civic Center Park). First of all, your idea is grand, considering Saved By The Bell is the greatest show outside of Seinfeld. Second, I will listen to your CD. And since you are reading this, I guess YOU kept up your part of the bargain. Yell Fillerbuster to all your peeps. I plan on checking out your CD tomorrow night.
32) My fraternity, Sigma Pi, was so cool that we teased ANYONE who wore our letters on campus (Grounds). We also lived and died by three things. Watch Quantum Leap at lunch. Watch Saved By The Bell at dinner. And study Melrose Place and 90210 just because.
33) How does MC Hammer NOT play Turn This Mutha Out???? Yes, that is a pre-mainstream hit, but I expected to hear that. That is like Bon Jovi not playing Runaway….which is still my most requested karaoke song by listeners.
34) If you live in Cap Hill, go to Lala’s. Do the Sunday special, and just ask for extra pizza instead of subpar spaghetti.
35) Lindsey’s friends LOVED the fact that she didn’t know where she was going until the airplane gate. Do it, guys. It is worth the look of surprise.
36) Any place you go where there is a pool bar, it is worth it.
37) Any place where you make all of your expenses back at the casino, it is worth it.
38) Any place where you can make fun of Johnny Football hundreds commercials (the photo), it is worth it.
39) I am starting a new segment. “Things my awesome mother taught me.” Here is segment #1. “Always buy your girlfriend flowers, never steal, and John Elway was a badass.” Since she taught me 1000 things, this WILL be a regular segment.
40) I might not be rich, saving the environment, or living up to the most likely to succeed from high school, but I know that because of my parents, I try and do the right thing every single day. Thanks, Mom and Dad.
41) John Isner is out of the US Open. Tell your friends this stuff. This is the first time EVER that NO American is in the final 16 at the Open, and this is also the first year EVER that no US man made the second week of ANY Slam event. That is ridiculous. Jimmy Connors? John McEnroe? Ugghhh times 5000 times.
42) Just TRY and watch tennis. It is more interesting if you PLAYED, but it is the best example of an extremely athletic chess match that I have ever seen.
43) Chris, a shout out to you. You were the most quiet person I have ever played tennis with. Your backhand was literally lethal. My serve and forehand were deadly. I was good enough to be #2 singles, but Mr. Breech talked me into 1st doubles. In our final match together, our team was down 6-0 in matches out of seven. They let us play it out. We beat a pair of seniors who had NEVER been beaten at doubles. Think some steroid Indian guy and Hulk Hogan. Much love, bro.
44) Once again, if you have the word “chipotle” in you food description, I might buy it.
45) Mom, Lindsey just bought your Christman present. It is INCREDIBLE.
46) With Tim Tebow just getting cut from the Pats, I am proud to say that I PERSONALLY witnessed the PINNACLE of Tim Tebow’s career. That is funny. Somewhere floating around is a video that has me saying on camera that “I just got Tebowed.”
47) In Arizona, Lindsey, while by herself at the pool, said she saved a drowning bee by putting it on a leaf. I think I just found her first flaw. She saved a bee. Dammit.
48) Darrelle Revis is now healthy. Someone start watching the Richard Sherman tweets. This is going to be a fun Twitter season.
49) ESPN Mag is now on the record of picking the Broncos to win the Super Bowl. I would say I am excited to watch Broncos fans be depressed, but I don’t have the bandwidth to figure out Pittsburgh’s offensive line’s problems, their lack of a speed wide receiver, their RB injury problems with the LeVeon Bell injury, Troy Polamalu’s health, the lack of shutdown corners, etc. Ugghhh. I might have to start going to church.
50) US tennis now has a new hero. No dudes, and Serena just beat Sloane Stephens (that is redundant because they are both US players). Riske. I don’t even know her first name. YOU look it up. I am just happy that SOME US tennis player is doing OK. She is probably getting beat RIGHT NOT. As I write this. That is my Nostradamus luck.
51) Jason Dufner must smoke up every OTHER weekend, because I believe he was in the running for the Deutsche tourney today.
52) The Gators suspended someone this weekend. Once they prove they are actually good again, maybe I will look up the name of who they suspended.
53) Maybe Tim Tebow was so smart and good that he has eligibility left.
54) Taste of Colorado continues to remind me that I don’t want kids at age 40.
55) Lindsey successfully got me out of a casino up $300 AND out of the Taste today when the basketball game when it was staring me in the face. She truly knows me. Truly.
56) In case you care, a dude in Colorado Springs got busted for doping up. He is 80 years old.
57) In case you care, the guy from Duck Dynasty has a hot wife.
58) In case you care, a guy swam from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage.
59) In case you care, Arizona really, really likes town cars instead of actual cabs.
60) In case you care, my bonsai tree is still alive and kicking. I suck at keeping alive plants.
61) In case you care, I left Taste of Colorado without buying ANYTHING.
62) In case you care, if a Slow Loris licks its elbow and then bites you, you could die. Thanks, roommate, Lorie.
63) In case you care, Johnny Manziel getting a taunting penalty by pointing at the scoreboard in a blowout means he might have stopped tweeting but he is still not healed.
64) In case you care, the Phils are apparently giving up by trading Michael Young to the Dodgers.
65) In case you care, this is really, really funny. http://deadspin.com/university-of-arkansas-intern-injured-by-exploding-t-sh-1235924410
66) In case you care, there is a movie (per the USA Today Life section) coming out in the fall called “Big Ass Spider.” Seriously, it is like Godzilla without the confused Asian people. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1830713/
67) When is Snakes on a Plane II coming out?
68) Maybe it already did.
69) Eastern Washington beat Oregon State this weekend. Just like we all believe this is the dark horse Kansas City Chiefs’ year, I guess that settles that on the college level.
70) I actually DID like their team.
71) Note to everyone and their mother. IF a woman is elected President, PLEASE make sure we have the cooks on full alert. I would hate for a military attack decision to be made on an empty stomach. They are really miserable.
72) I would comment on Syria, but this blog is like a bar. No religion and no politics. That being said, the Fillerbuster WILL say this. Stay out of everyone’s problems. It is a slippery slope. Sorry they are having a bad week. I see no need for missiles and American deaths. If a missile is not being aimed at me, and another country is having problems, let’s just see what happens without involving our own troops.
73) Dammit. I guess I just expressed my opinion. It is like talking about Dwight Howard. I just get sucked in trying NOT to talk about him.
74) Dammit. I just talked about Dwight Howard. See?
75) Eleanor’s brakes aren’t necessarily BAD. Let’s just say when I rent a rental car, that the first stop almost sends me and a passenger through the windshield.
76) The Texans Antonio Smith “forgives Incognito AND himself for his actions a couple weeks ago.” I am not sure what surprises me more…Smith forgiving someone else and himself or the fact the ANYONE forgave Incognito.
77) Does anyone else get depressed when Nebraska wins? Good job, Wyoming. Good effort.
78) The bad thing is that Boise State lost its first game. The good thing is that we don’t have to argue BCS formulas for one of the 5 teams in the mix for the rest of the year.
79) Gronk is in full pads. Ask Belichick what is wrong with him. I hear already “lower, upper, mid sprain of the muscle in the outer extremity.”
80) I wore a Widespread Panic shirt to go watch the CU-CSU game Sunday. I got more high fives than EVER. It happened to be a green shirt and most people were drunk.
81) Copy and paste THIS shit. “Tiger fades at…”
82) Yay. Joining the NFL kicker club. Not only did UGA lose, but WR Malcolm Mitchell is out for the season for CELEBRATING someone ELSE’S touchdown. I think he should be drafted by Tampa.
83) That is funny, people.
84) Lindsey laughed at me a while back from looking up from my serious blog for a sex scene. How is that weird? A woman was making a racket on a cable station. I was intrigued. AND, it got me to look away from my rant. I didn’t HAVE Showtime or HBO at my place, my lady.
85) Logan, I hear that Real Madrid signed Gareth Bale for over $100 million. Yay. I made another non World Cup soccer reference. Be proud.
86) The Bills EJ Manuel is already practicing. He probably was worried they might sign Matt Leinart.
87) The Jets just signed Brady Quinn. I don’t know about you, but I am just glad that guy is still around. We were church peeps back in the day.
88) THANK YOU, Mike Shanahan. Thanks for giving us ANOTHER RGIII injury update. I am becoming a HATER just because of these daily updates. Ugghhh.
89) Brad Kesoloswki likes fighting.
90) I was surprised to find out Arizona is not just a desert. When I drove 4 hours each way for the Grand Canyon, we were on mountains, plateaus, and at an elevation of 7000 plus.
91) Driving four hours is easy when Whitesnake’s Here I Go Again is playing. It is the greatest song ever made.
92) I wasn’t paying attention in 3rd grade. I had NO idea how big that thing was or how it was formed.
93) Lindsey has never seen Carrie. Scary, old school movie. THAT is scary.
94) Lindsey was looking over my shoulder for some of this rant. She says I am writing some good stuff.
95) Not only does she cook like a genius, and not only can’t I fix anything, but she is the only person who can operate the grill. Evidently, I could figure out some things when my pledgemaster was telling me to figure it out.
96) Lindsey put on Rounders today and a Bourne movie when I was “rushing” to get ready to go out. That makes for at least a 5 minutes delay in BOTH cases.
97) Sad to hear that Tommy Morrison died. Can I still blame him for the downfall of the Rocky movies?
98) Rocky IV is a great movie, people. Seriously.
99) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.