Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament… again.
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Too much to do at work today to blog. Need to bust out a short one tonight to attempt to get back on schedule during an incredibly even more drowning work week than usual. Yes, that is exactly what I wrote last night. And the night before. I just copied and pasted. Twice. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) OK. Just to clarify as I didn’t change it. I thought the name of the show mentioned in last night’s rant was “101” because that is what I saw when it came up for On Demand. Like I said, it was the first time I had heard of it. Note to self when I have an editor. It is just “Blacklist.” Got it.
2) If anyone wants an $8 million dollar non starting QB, there are now two of them. Drop a line to Josh Freeman if Sanchez didn’t interest you.
3) I admit it. I had to Google Mike Glennon. So, to save you the trouble, he went to school at NC State.
4) They figured out a way to make me stop working. They shut down the power at headquarters. That made me finish up my at home work activities and move to…ranting.
5) My losers pool that I am funded for is TOUGH this week. It is like every single bad team plays at home, and four gimme winners play each OTHER.
6) I could take the largest spread-Denver vs. Philly. But how bad would it be if I chose the team I hate to beat my semi-hometown team. The irony would have to be flowcharted since I am a Steelers fan to boot.
7) That is adorable. Ohio State settled any QB dispute by making Guiton and Miller “co-starters.”
8) I just saw an update on Nate Burleson. Wish I had leftover pizza in the fridge. Sounds good.
9) I have a cold for the first time in about a year. That is my average. I am fighting it like a maniac to keep my streak of never taking a sick day at my present job in 3 years. This is NOT the week I can miss a day. It won’t happen. I make 7-10 day colds last one day.
10) If one more person tells me that Derrick Rose looks better, I am going to…do something. Whatever. Durant said he did in a practice session. I am sure he looks fresh. I will wait until game time (not even preseason) to judge. If these people ARE right, that is great for players on the court against him. He will be BETTER than the MVP? Nice.
11) Another week goes by, and we wait to see if Suh will be fined or penalized. What a thug.
12) The Knicks/ Nets will host the 2015 NBA All Star Game. Good call in waiting until the Nets are out of Jersey to let them host anything. I can crack on Jersey. That was my crib. Still. It is what it is.
13) Jersey shore was dope if you selected your spots carefully. I am biased to Stone Harbor.
14) Re-hook. Because I find it hilarious and no one commented. Pittsburgh plays Minnesota this week in London. At least I have a chance to see the real Big Ben.
15) I still look at any tourist thing in any city and say “big ben, parliament.”
16) I will make it my theme just to be obvious.
17) If someone would like to send a flowchart of the Twitter and Instagram war that Durant and Wade are having, it would be appreciated. God forbid if you guys actually picked up the phone and chatted. And Wade has injury problems, but don’t tell me he is not one of the top ten players, Kevin.
18) Speaking of flowcharts, check out this. Jordan Cameron, the most popular TE pickup in fantasy over the last few days is part of THIS family. Hilarious. It also involves one chick and Matt Leinart and Blake Griffin if that peaks your interest. http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/blake-griffin-son-born-brynn-cameron-matt-leinart-baby-mama-ford-wilson-cameron-griffin-jordan-cameron-usc-basketball-092313
19) The Browns are starting Brian Hoyer. That means for four days or so in this world over the last decade, the Browns know who their starting QB is.
20) I can’t figure out which is cooler. Another pitcher this year losing a no-no with two outs. Another pitcher doing it who is a ROOKIE. Or a rookie pitcher who has the name Michael Wacha.
21) I am in an office pool to pick winners. I am in a losers pool where I pick losers. I noticed this week in the results that when picking both at once last week after a few pops, I somehow chose all my losers picks IN my office pool. I went 5-11. Ugghhh.
22) I saw a commercial for the new grand theft auto game. There are JETS in it these days? I am not a gamer, but confused regardless.
23) I am taking Emergency to fend off this cold. People crack me up who drop that every day. It is “emergency.” Take it on a 3 day bender when you are short on rest or when you actually feel sick. It is not a shock to the system if your body is used to it.
24) You are lying if you didn’t chuckle when Shaq picked his most recent name. Shaqamento. That is freaking awesome. Now if we can only get Robert Horry to buy in, since he personally ruined the Kings in Game 5 of the Conference Finals with ONE shot.
25) The grass is green, the sky is blue, and the Pacers will offer Paul George the max deal. The curious part of this is how they dangle Danny Granger. That guy happens to play the same position, but can BALL.
26) Oracle and the US WON the America’s Cup. They were down 8-1??? Holy smokes. If we cared about sailing mainstream, this WOULD be the greatest comeback in sports of all time.
27) But we don’t.
28) Hey, non main TV stations. Stop changing the schedule. I just was used to 5-6 Seinfeld. You are jacking me up. No 1030 Rules of Engagement while I am falling asleep? Ugghhh.
29) Lamar Odom talked about a dark time in recent rant caught by the media. Listen, Lamar. Sorry I didn’t answer your calls to hang out, but I am the freaking ranter. Find your own website, blog, and TERM.
30) Did you SEE Colin Kaepernick’s head just DROP when the reporter asked “so why did you favorite all of your critical tweets?” Absolutely classic. Stay off Twitter drunk, athletes (you mainly, Paul Pierce…and Johnny Football). That is why I don’t have that shit on my phone.
31) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.