Hey look kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament… again.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock. Not an airplane rant.  Early morning rant.  Semi-speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  We had to wake up after Halloween night to reserve our wedding reception, we failed at waking up on time and Lindsey is sad, and this seems more peaceful than going back in the bedroom.  Plus, the Steelers play in less than 3 hours and I am getting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to see Big Ben back behind the wheel.
2. I just said what my mom always told me.  “Maybe we weren’t MEANT to have our reception there, babe.”
3. I guess I could go to church, but…no.  Sorry, God.  Long night.
4. JJ, no pops. It is freaking 830 in the morning.  
5. Question his coolness.  You would have to answer to me, folks.
6. It is SO nice to have my losers pick out of the way going into Sunday’s games (Miami against the Pats). I feel…like I want everyone to upset EVERYONE.  
7. #3 folks.  Matt Damon and JT edge him out on my man crush list.  
8. You don’t have to watch The Voice, and I will. You can question my manhood, but then I would invite you over for cocktails to discuss this further.  The Voice is cool.
9. Blake is cool, and I could listen to the song “Payphone” for rest of my life.  
10. Adam comes in at #8 or so.
11. Final Four on each side. Heat, Wizards, Cavs, Bulls.  Pelicans, Warriors, Spurs, Rockets.  I think the Rockets are mental.  I think David Lee’s absence is huge.  I think the Spurs are the Spurs.  I think the Pelicans are one year away.  I think the Heat are dangerous.  I think the Wizards need a stellar big man.  I think the Cavs I just don’t want to win anything.  I think with Derrick Rose, the Bulls are ridiculous.  Spurs over Bulls in 6 games.
12. It was painful enough reading about how Minnesota’s football coach had to step aside. It was a whole other animal to watch them go for it AT THEIR CRIB when down a chip shot field goal and lose it.
13. Excuse to show my #1 Minnesota fan.  Text me “gophers” by 8am tomorrow, Cerk, and I will buy you a soda.  
14. He is what I classify as a “face guy.”  He can only mess anything up by talking.  And he names his dog what he probably would just say anyway…DUDE.
15. You can question my fandom, but my nervousness right now is off the charts. Ben is back, and lose and we are down FOUR games in the division.  I bleed black and gold.  
16. I really thought Abby Wambach already retired.
17. My hobby is now flashing fake gang signs when JPP is mentioned.
18. My carved pumpkin was pretty dope if I don’t say myself.  
19. I plan on following A.P.’s diet and eating shellfish WHILE chewing tobacco.
20. I just got done inputting my DraftKings three lineups, which means that huge rush is now done unless I go back and change the lineups, which I will.
21. I admit to never opening the article about Brandon Marshall telling anyone about “not getting it.”
22. I changed a tire the other day on Eleanor, and those who know me know that is MONSTROUS.
23. I don’t care who the Nats hired as their new manager because I don’t think the manager was the problem last year.
24. I will root against him, but can I get two more years of LeBron being healthy and NOT have back problems.
25. My idiot ex-boss, Steve Sertich, from Pitchers in Lakewood, used to shake his head about me coming in two hours early to watch Ohio high school basketball. He bet me $100 that the player I was watching wouldn’t be in the league on this day and we wrote it on the wall at the now closed down place.  I don’t know exactly where Steve is these days, but LeBron turned out pretty good, didn’t he?  You still owe me $100, Steve.
26. I think the Blue Jays GM should have waited one more year, as chemistry like the Royals takes a little longer than just renting a couple of players.
27. Think about it.  A GM’s genius is not usually figured out until AFTER he is fired.
28. The bartender from Pub on Penn WAY back in the day is now semi-famous. I am jealous.  He is selling these very ugly, yet clever magnet belts.  http://kdvr.com/2015/10/28/denver-belt-maker-enjoys-rare-kickstarter-funding-success-for-fashion-start-up/
29. Magnets.  SO simple.
30. Pat Haden stepped down from the college football playoff committee, and I think MAYBE he realizes that he has WAY worse problems close to home.
31. Ole Miss is really good, but Auburn is easily the biggest letdown of college football all year.  
32. I believe we are officially at the time when Baylor, Oklahoma State, TCU, and OU start literally beating the shit out of each other.
33. Georgia and Auburn should PLAY each other to decide the biggest letdown this year.
34. Temple, in the words of Hall & Oates, “SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR AWAY…”  
35. How does a tiny neighboring country like New Zealand keep kicking the shit out of a larger country like Australia in rugby?
36. How does a guy who knows very little about rugby even blog about rugby?
37. Because it is MY blog.
38. I hate birthdays and I hate gifts. Literally.  But, Lindsey apparently created some Facebook event where I get to choose the bars I go to, since my Bday happens to hit the night before Thanksgiving AKA the biggest bar night of the year besides St. Patty’s.  My list?  Rough draft is Refinery, Hayters, 2 UP, Gigglin’ Grizzly, Goosetown Tavern, Williams, and Sancho’s.  Yes, I am a cheap date.  Most are dive bars.  
39. Not sure if I am happy about my college winning, or depressed that Georgia Tech is giving Georgia and Auburn a run for the money on biggest letdowns in college football.
40. Yay.  Georgia and GTech still have to play each other.
41. I have started calling children “little people” and I don’t want one.
42. I am traveling to Austin tomorrow night, meaning I complete hitting every US city I want to visit aside from anywhere in Alaska or Hawaii.  
43. Don’t freak out about Clemson struggling early against NC State, as every road win in your conference is a good win.
44. My colleague, Marty, is a Nebraska fan. I am running out of sympathetic things to say when they lose painfully.  He is also numb to losing now.  Marty, if you text me the word “painful” before 9am tomorrow, I will buy you lunch at Stoney’s.  
45. Stoney’s is the weirdest place. Great location and that is it.  You pay your tab and wonder how you just paid that much money for that bad of service.  
46. But yet you still go back.  Well, it is an OU bar, so that is why.
47. Seriously, they are STILL coming out with another Rocky/ Creed movie?
48. YES, I will go see it.  
49. I think I could eat Mac and Cheese for the rest of my life.
50. Trey is down the street at Fillmore in two weeks. Stop my life.  I am going, and someone please join me as Lindsey has NO interest in that event.
51. 
52. Phish, people.  PHISH.  Amazing guitarist.  Thank you, Donald, from Sigma Pi for making me a WSP, Phish, and Dead fan.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MnnNxUEzDI
53. Curry had 28 points in the third quarter last night and I am mad I missed it.
54. The Royals won last night, meaning I should be betting on baseball, as I am batting .1000 with my picks for the World Series.
55. I am guessing that after yesterday, Pharoah is just going to go eat in a barn and bang some fillies for the rest of his great life.
56. Al Golden gets fired eight laterals too early.
57. I think I am sad that Chris Johnson is doing so well, but since I have Fitzgerald and Brown on my fantasy teams, I guess I am happy????
58. My fantasy teams are pretty sick. Devonta Freeman in BOTH leagues was just a dirty, dirty draft pick in the 6^th
59. We are more than 10 games into the hockey season? My bad.
60. Sorry, Ponto. He LOVES hockey.  I will get to it, bro.  Give me a text that says “breakfast all day” before 9am tomorrow and I will buy us McDonald’s for lunch one of these weeks.  He gets the notification email, but pretty sure he doesn’t read the thing.  
61. He LOVES frisbee golf…or frolf…of gosbee…or whatever.
62. Do you remember when I had a co-blogger named Mr. Royal? He must be doing top secret Army shit.
63. Got to say something about my woman’s sister, as she crashed last night here. She is dope (sorry, mom), and we are about as in tune as two people can be.  
64. Lindsey probably is wondering where I am as I am blogging and not in bed. She will be happy when she finds out my blog is DONE for today when I usually spend hours on it on a Sunday.
65. Big Ben is back. Thank GOD.  We are now the best team in the league outside of Green Bay and New England.  The Broncos will lose tonight.  The Bengals will lose today.  The Fillerbuster will be blog free.
66. That’s it for today. If I forgot anything, I am on a plane tomorrow night.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.