Hotel Catchslyvania.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Friday evening rant.  Speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  I don’t feel like blogging all night, I have a gym, work, college basketball, American Sniper filled day tomorrow, so let’s go with one sentence style.  One sentence and one sentence only per hook.
2. Both the Colts and Packers have the capability and talent to take down their home opponent, but I just don’t see either happening. It is probably also because I want the heavyweight showdown that would be the Pats-Seahawks.  I don’t think Andrew Luck can outscore the Pats.  I think the Packers-Seahawks game MIGHT be pretty close.  I think both favorites advance.
3. Whoops-forgot I was on the one sentence plan.
4. Starting NOW.
5. Sure, I wanted him to jump because it was cool, and it WOULD have been legendary, but probably pretty smart to stay in school and glad I was not his advisor.
6. I still am confused who will be the starting QB at Ohio State next year.
7. Might not really matter though, right?
8. The NFL does some dumb stuff with their rules and creations, but I LOVE this new free agent combine they will be doing.
9. Scratch everything before this. I scrapped Friday night’s rant, but of course won’t delete it.  We are on Sunday afternoon now.  Still one sentence style.  We will start that on the next hook as I am catching my breath from possibly the best football game I have seen in a conference championship…ever.  Starting NOW (Seinfeld fans get that joke).  
10. The telephone pole in front of my house is slanted at a 20 degree angle, and I know I am no detective, but have I missed that the ENTIRE time living here?
11. Lindsey can send me all the articles about how showering MORE is unhealthy, I will continue to shower about 3 times a day-I LIKE showers.
12. I think I spent every moment in between winning swimming races showering for no reason.
13. Seton Hall is the best team outside of West Virginia NOT on everyone’s radar.
14. UVA was not ranked in the best party schools this year by Playboy, and that must be because the surveyor person partied outside of Sigma Pi.  
15. Lindsey was VERY happy CSU made the rankings and UVA didn’t.
16. If I can’t brag about THAT, I can always brag about how we are ALWAYS top ten in the country in public institutions.  
17. She told me we were #10 this year for public schools, but then I noticed this list she sent me was in alphabetical order.http://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/2014/09/04/2015-best-colleges-preview-top-10-public-universities
18. Still proving to her I just ACT like an idiot and am NOT one…bad ass school-Wahoowa.  
19. I think Marcus Mariota will be an above average QB inn the NFL, and that he IS slightly overrated due to speed of NFL defenders.  
20. Blogging during NE-INDY game, and although I said here when they were 0-2 that the Colts would make the Super Bowl, I have to go with my man crush…Brady.  
21. Epic-Brady-Wilson Super Bowl?
22. Hey, Indy and New England, think you can top that last game?
23. Probably not.
24. It seems kind of like old news to talk about the Cowboys and Packers now.  
25. I forgot that I haven’t “long blogged” in a week.
26. I work 65 hours a week, and worked 70 this week at least.
27. I travel an hour north of San Diego next week, and I may or may not make my colleague wait for me while I run out and jump in the ocean during the winter in San Diego before we head to the conference.  
28. I love the water, beach, ocean, rivers, ponds, etc.
29. My workout program is officially called “The Flag,” and I rarely don’t make good on my own bets.  
30. Is Beats now paying Jim Rome, because that is a good choice and I WAS a clone back in the day.  
31. I guess we are now computing that guys who can’t get it up while not doing Viagra do NOT drive fishing boats and catch big fish while out there.  
32. I think Proscuitto is the greatest meat on earth.
33. Lindsey just said “I feel you,” and I have never heard her say that…ever.
34. Must have been sarcastic in a joke I was supposed to get.
35. Lindsey went to sleep, I was left unattended (dangerous) and I somehow made it through BOTH confirmations of renting Taken 1 for money, even though it is on main TV all the time.
36. I am an idiot and definitely can’t do the things he does if you take something from me… but I will dam well try.  
37. I love my woman, but if I could have her Seinfeld friends, Bri and Annette, to follow us around all the time, it might be even better.  
38. We can stop the Nationwide commercials now that Peyton is out of the playoffs.  
39. And the Papa John’s commercials too.  
40. And the Buick ones WITH him.  
41. I admit it-Entourage (Lindsey is making me watch it) is not bad.  
42. Plus, I like this guy.  
43. Derek Waters from Drunk History is the most…something…of all time, and I want to have beers with him.  
44. I am tired of Rex Ryan already and he just got hired somewhere-ugghhh.
45. I think stability and trust is the reason the Cowboys extended Jason Garrett, but I would LOVE to meet the guy figuring out the Murray and Bryant contracts.
46. Moneyball II.
47. I think the Pats can pull any trick plays they want as long as they are within the rules.
48. I am pretty sure that I want Game of Thrones to start…now.
49. I am pretty sure that although Lindsey thinks it is dumb to go watch GOT on IMAX with only a teaser, I think it sounds cool.  
50. I am still wondering why teams don’t dive over the goal line-see three opportunities today and don’t get it.  
51. I DO get why 80’s music doesn’t work anymore.
52. I think Mr. Ronaldo is a very good looking dude and also deserved the d’Or trophy.  
53. I am pretty sure John Fox is the defensive minded, transparent, people’s coach the Bears fans needed, they have the offensive weapons already, and I hope the Horse isn’t being a little arrogant with a QB on his last legs.
54. He DID retire as a Super Bowl winner, which is cool, but is their selling point bringing in a coach who KNOWS he has one year left with Peyton???
55. Yes, I think Peyton is coming back.
56. I am pretty sure Kubiak would be a safe, homely hire.
57. I had to read this for work, but I actually recommend this for EVERYONE to watch-disrupt.http://corporate.comcast.com/news-information/news-feed/neil-smit-talks-innovation-at-ces-2015
58. I think I disrupt things.
59. The Fail Mary ref is in depression, and I would feel bad, but it WAS a horrible call.
60. I am pretty sure I am sad that Hope Solo’s charges were dismissed.  
61. The Jets hired their new GM from the Texans, because THEY are doing really well these days.
62. Just bring in Matt Schaub and complete the circuit.
63. I just cracked on another UVA guy-sorry.
64. The Nuggets and Celtics swapped backup PG’s, and I think Nate Robinson will be shipped somewhere else shortly, and I think Jameer Nelson WILL be the starting PG in Denver if they give him some playing time.  
65. Are we supposed to be tripping when we watch those Clash of the Clans commercials-they are really weird?  
66. I am pretty sure that hiring in house for the Steelers DC was a good idea.
67. I am pretty sure that hiring in house for the 49ers HC was a good idea.
68. I admit to reading “way too early” top 25’s ten minutes after any championship game.
69. I admit to reading mock drafts for the NFL in mid January.
70. I admit to not fully understanding the Pro Bowl coaching logistics problem, but still finding it funny.
71. I admit to thinking that the Pro Bowl is not really a game.
72. I admit to being willing to tell Kevin Garnett to his face he is being weak and dumb for head butting anyone during a game during his stage of the career.  
73. I admit to wanting to have beers with Mr. Konrad and hearing his swimming/ sharks stories.
74. I admit to saying “what does the Paterno family care NOW that you gave him back his wins?”
75. I admit to not believing that 24 schools want Mr. Golson unless 12 of them are Division II.
76. I admit to not really being willing to pitch in to pay any Yost INCREASE with the Royals.
77. I admit to not really ever believing that the Nets Russian crazy owner would stay in Brooklyn for more than 2-3 years.  
78. I admit to being surprised that Rory JUST hit his first hole in one on the Tour.
79. I admit to saying five minutes ago you are NOT going to beat my man crush by dropping in the sweet spot passes.
80. Todd Bowles was a good hire, is defensive in origin, and microphones won’t be quite as nervous.
81. I admit to saying that this assassin-Kurt Busch thing is the weirdest thing I have heard lately, but it is like a car wreck, and I can’t turn away.  
82. Have you WATCHED that video?
83. JJ Watt-SO cool what you did for that Pee Wee player.
84. Altidore-not sure if going BACK to MLS was your career plan.
85. Cuban-I was RIGHT behind you, man, at the Nuggets game this week-free tickets.
86. It is true that I heard “incomplete” from the crowd at the Nuggets game, and it irritated the shit out of me.
87. They played Rick Astley at the Nuggets game I attended, and I smiled.  
88. I sat the closest EVER for a Nuggets game, and it was free-thanks, Jeff.
89. By the way, Nuggets, no Chandler, Dirk, and Rondo, means…asterisk.
90. That National commercial/ Patrick Warburton commercial just was on…I smiled.
91. You can try, but talking about Nuggets Nurkic’s dad is one of the most fun things in life.  
92. He is such a badass.
93. In case you were scared of Israel, there is THIS (watch the guy on the right in particular):http://www.israelvideonetwork.com/this-is-why-israeli-policemen-are-the-most-feared-police-force-on-the-planet/
94. In case you want to get arrested, follow THIS plan:http://kdvr.com/2015/01/07/florida-man-arrested-for-drugs-wearing-t-shirt-that-says-i-have-drugs/
95. In case you want to make fun of OSU even though they just won the championship:  http://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/sec-football/buckeyes-misspell-ohio-in-pre-game-celebration/
96. In case you like pizza as much as I do:  http://www.kygo.com/whats-hot/2015/01/15/keep-more-pizza-for-yourself-brilliant
    
97. I don’t stay up late during the week but this is funny:http://m.espn.go.com/wireless/relatedvideos?id=12157249&backText=Video%20Hub%20-%20ESPN&back=http://m.espn.go.com/general/video?vid%3D12157249%26src%3Ddesktop%26rand%3Dref~%257B%2522ref%2522%253A%2522http%253A%252F%252Fm.facebook.com%2522%257D%26ex_cid%3DsportscenterFB&wjb
98. In case you think it is actually possible to fall OFF the couch, watch THIS video:http://youtu.be/tLt5rBfNucc
99. In case you think I am getting cocky about UVA, I am not and I know that Duke, UNC, and Louisville are all coming up back to back to back.
100. Good luck in the nation’s capital, Bill Callahan, and we all think you find a new way to fail.
101. Sorry if I spoke for everyone.
102. Andrew Wiggins will be in the dunk contest, and now he will make his first TV appearance since leaving Kansas.
103. We never made American Sniper, because Lindsey’s on call was extremely active, I travel the next two weeks, and no one tell me how great it is.
104. I don’t even know all of the details, but I also vote no confidence for UAB’s head honcho for cancelling football at the school before a possible bowl game.
105. It is adorable that MLS named their MVP after Landon Donovan.
106. Lindsey just changed her FB photo to an US photo, so do I change MINE?
107. Confused, and I know I am WITH her, but love my FB solo photos.  
108. Miss St. Dak Prescott will return, so basically we have ONE contender for the Heisman for whichever person of the three QB’s for Ohio State.
109. I have noticed the Astros are in 90% of all trades over the last 10 years and their plan must be a 15 year plan.
110. Waiting on Dan Quinn is smart, but kind of like doubling down on blackjack when you have an 11 against a 4.
111. I like blackjack and might do the same thing.
112. Can we have a moratorium (thank, Jim Rome) on hiring NFL coaches WHILE the season is still going on?????
113. Jack Del Rio must REALLY want to be head coach…Oakland????
114. Tomsula, and hiring an internal coach, was a good move for the 49ers, since we know they have talent and have no idea of why that thing fell apart.
115. I would like Intervention to get in touch with Larry Sanders and Josh Gordon on a GoToMeeting.
116. I am sure the Clippers cut Jordan Farmar because of talent and not family ties, because Austin Rivers has shown SO much on the court thus far.
117. I am cutting it short on pics now-tired.
118. I think that any Greg Anthony joke I do will have already been done, and I think the brilliance of any joke would be tying in Brent Musburger.  
119. Think about it.
120. Think about it more.
121. I am pretty sure I have already said that I think the free agent combine is a good idea…these catch of the days jack up my list.
122. Oh, JJ, POPS.
123. Let’s see if he made it this far.
124. I feel like the Knicks are still on the losing streak they were on, but not sure, and this is a football day.
125. I have another million $ idea, but once again Lindsey doesn’t approve.
126. Translation Bar, where a fancy menu with fancy language has a side column where it says “Pancetta” is “bacon.”
127. Guajillo is fancy salsa.
128. We officially have a change in my burger rankings, as Park and Co let me find out there are carrots in the sauce on the Scarponne, I went to Humboldt Farm/ Fish/ Something, and Humboldt’s burger was so good I didn’t want to put anything on it.  
129. Not my type of place, but my type of burger.
130. New rankings are Justice Snow’s, Highland Tap and Burger, Humboldt, and then Park and Co’s OTHER burgers.
131. Lindsey just gave me shit for having a couple drinks while she is on call for weekend, note to self, I will go to strip clubs, be out of town, and be in questionable situations next time she is on call to make sure the home situation is null and void.
132. Yes, I am aware that was more than one sentence.
133. I think of all the things that could cause problems between Lindsey and I, I would say that feeling the need to be isolated while blogging would be the favorite for problems.
134. I am doing HARMLESS stuff-just give me an hour or two…not even a thank you for doing the blog at lunch break at work during the week-geez.
135. It is SO much more peaceful right now-I am so much more focused and have football right in front of me.
136. She napped during the fourth quarter of the Seahawk-Pack game.
137. Hey, Blatt, there IS discord on your team, and we don’t believe anything you say until you have a winning record.
138. Easy, Rizzo, but I respect you for saying “NL Central” as opposed to “World Series.”
139. Enormous hippo that Deadspin caught thankfully:http://rabbithole.deadspin.com/an-enormous-terrifying-hippo-1679787269
140. Hotel Transylvania is my favorite cartoon that Lindsey has NO idea how much I like.  
141. No Rikki Tiki Tavi though.  
142. This Minions preview is pretty freaking catchy though:

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9-FCC6I7u0&sns=em

143. Walter Mitty is about 90% as hard to turn the channel on main TV when you see it on TV as Forrest Gump.  
144. I hope Lance Stephenson gets traded about 3 times before this deadline.
145. I love Larry Brown, but had a feeling there was some shady stuff going on when they got that top 5 hoop recruit that then went overseas.
146. SMU and “top recruit” are not usually in the same sentence in basketball.
147. Price/ Tigers/ I think that is a good decision and I predict the Tigers to win it all for the 3^rd year in a row.  
148. I was going to bed last night and the last 40 minutes of Captain Phillips was on, meaning I went to bed 40 minutes later.  
149. Lindsey is buying some type of cheese that is labelled “horseradish cheddar,” and I am not allowed to have too much because it in HER drawer in the fridge-got to find a loophole as it is delicious.
150. We missed Bone Thugs and Harmony last night, but I made it better by pulling up their one song on my phone while walking.
151. Are the T-Wolves getting better suddenly, or are the Nuggets getting worse?
152. My buddy, Kevin, created this “Bar Cart” thing in Denver, which, as I understand it, is a golf cart driving you around to promotional places in town, and we have a reservation for 5pm tomorrow.
153. Guess I am hitting the gym in the morning.
154. I just realized I am at 146…I will wrap up by 170 or so.
155. I would say that Robert Allenby will try harder on no missing the cut when in Hawaii next time-scary story.
156. Limited pics now.
157. I would be concerned, but I don’t golf, am not in Hawaii, am not 27^th on the all time list in PGA earnings, and have phone insurance.
158. 22^nd Jump Street is EXACTLY what you would expect it to be, don’t believe the better reviews than the first one, and don’t expect MORE than the first one.
159. Exactly the same, people.
160. What do Greg Monroe and Russell Westbrook have in common-they both acted like some dude who is going to the Super Bowl in interviews this week?
161. 17-7-not a blowout yet.
162. I felt worse for the coach who got suspended in HS basketball until I found out that he played full court press the ENTIRE first half.
163. 161-2.
164. REALITY: I am not a favorite, TRANSLATION: I only care about the French Open (Nadal).
165. I remember when a story about the Cavs sweeping the Cavs and Lakers would be a better story…if one of them didn’t suck in general.
166. I know most things about sports, but temporarily forget why KU people sing Sweet Caroline after a win.
167. KU is the best at home wins since 2006-2007, and surprisingly, BYU checks in at #5 or #6.
168. I think I already told everyone that UVA is all that and a bag of chips.
169. I was starting to believe in Miami basketball with their wins over Duke and a close loss to UVA, and that close loss to ND at THEIR crib basically leaves me in the same position…dangerous team, folks.
170. My new girl-guy fashion system is called “Umbrella,” as it involves you taking your lady to a store you like, giving her a wall to choose from, letting her pick one, and knowing that all things on the wall would work because you LIKE the store.
171. Square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square philosophy.
172. Long story on that one, and my favorite cliché.
173. Home stretch if you are still reading.
174. An American holding any world heavyweight crown for first time since 2006 is sad…just sad.
175. I owned Marbury’s didn’t know he was still playing and only 37, and sad to know he was depressed at the time of his NBA departure.
176. Peyton, I hear, is out of the game that no one cares about.
177. Lindsey Vonn wins another World Cup, breaks a record, and at least someone in that relationship is winning something.
178. Hey, Martin, Kaymer, it wasn’t a Major and you weren’t in a CREEK.  
179. I am sorry for thinking that the Richardson thing was due to him and ended up being a family emergency-I can’t imagine what I would do if something happened to my parents-drive safe, Mom.
180. Kind of sadder that it is now raining in Foxboro and running is at a premium.
181. I have a feeling that the Broncos would be happy with a Kubiak hire, but not ecstatic.
182. I had a feeling Rex Ryan would leave the Jets would an STD or tampering charges…or something.
183. 24-7 and I might be the reaper from Family Guy…MAN CRUSH.
184. Stat you might have missed in that epic first game…Rodgers got intercepted for his first time in 99 postseason attempts and Wilson got his first INT in his last 91 attempts…yes, I pay attention to an amped up degree.
185. Snowmobiling is ONE thing I have never done that I never have done, and thanks to Dustin for telling me I am missing a train wreck that isn’t shown on those cool TV commercials.
186. There is a Hot Tub Time Machine followup movie????
187. Glam rock ONLY, maybe?
188. I can coach you on the Winger and Dokken…if you need help.
189. If you made it this far, I will send you a 2015 Packers 2015 Championship T-Shirt…I have four of them.
190. Pics of people who are sad about that last statement.
191. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Were you not entertained??????