I don’t mind stealing bread.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock.  Not an airplane rant.  Afternoon rant.  Not a speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  I say not a speed version, and I have nowhere to go, but I am tired.  Let’s bring it and exit stage left.
2. JJ, I was the driver coming back from Winter Park…just starting on a couple pops now that we are home.
3. College football is now here. So excited it is back.
4. I have ESPN on in the background, just playing the College Gameday preview show over and over.
5. People are starting to ask me about my Steelers. They have a defense that has players that need to now get better as they should, and their O has no problems outside of people missing games.  But, I have said the Ravens and Bengals are both Super Bowl threats.  Why am I telling you this?  The Steelers are predicted to finish THIRD in most publications, but they are still a 25-1 shot to win it all.  Tough division.
6. Oh, sorry to forget you, Cleveland.  
7. If I am a Skins fan, I am feeling like Groundhog Day with RGIII. Concussed, missing time, and cue the broken record cliché.
8. I hope John Daly ends up being fine, but does anyone remember another golfer where more weird shit happens ON the course? Dude can eagle or shoot a 10 on any given hole.  
9. Still love him.
10. Spieth technically “lost” his #1 ranking after failing to make the cut this weekend. Congrats, Rory, but I would say that 99% of the world still knows who the REAL #1 guy is.
11. I just listened again to Steve Sarkisian’s apology. He says some good words, but I get the feeling is that he is trying to figure out when he can get away with doping up again.
12. I LOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE the phrase I have heard going viral. “Sark after dark.”  
13. Not totally sure my fiancee is paying attention to preseason stuff. My favorite college football guy, Kirk Herbstreit, picked the Sooners (her love in football) to be in the college football playoff.
14. I miss the beach, sure, but mountains are pretty cool too. Hit up Winter Park this weekend.  Another just great mountain town.  
15. We rode up there with Phil and Stacy. Those two are the coolest, easy going, and ready to party whenever people I have ever met.  
16. Kooler, you are the shit and thanks for the invite this weekend.
17. We drew for the big beds vs. the bunk beds. Lindsey lost in a toothpick drawing contest, I can blame our sleeping arrangement on her, but I would have lost that contest anyway.
18. Bunk beds are fun.
19. If you haven’t played Cards Against Humanity, then either you have led too polite of life, or are just missing out in general.  Very abrasive game, but fun as hell when in a group setting.  
20. I have big news. Up to Friday night, I purposely put Pink on the radio as I assumed Lindsey liked the artist.  I assumed this because of certain undergarments she wore frequently.  Friday I found out that the music person Pink and the clothing line are different things.  Apparently, I am the only person in the entire world who did not know this.  
21. 
22. We ate Mexican the other night, and although I practiced more than most normal people, I flawlessly ordered an “alambre campechana.”
23. Someone this weekend said “Hungry Games.” I almost lost it.  On editing, this becomes funnier because of a later hook.  
24. At least this weekend in a mountain town, I didn’t play the song Payphone 1000 times consecutively.  Baby steps.  
25. And since I said that, I HAVE to post a pic of THIS.  
26. No prizes today, Marty and Rob.  You left it on the table last week.
27. You really can’t go wrong when you put Jock Jams on in any semi-party situation.
28. This guy got a call at like 10pm on a Friday night, came up spontaneously for the weekend, and got more sleep than I get during a work week.  Great, solid, genuine dude though.  
29. The only reason I care about the Ronda Rousey fight being moved up is because I really, really want to go to Australia very, very soon.  I assume it will have to be later in life when Lindsey and I don’t have kids and realize we can go wherever we want and just need someone to watch our pet or pets.  
30. I admit to not reading the whole story slowly in full, but why do I care that Nick Mangold stopped crime by doing the normal citizen thing of calling 911?
31. Scully is coming back for the Dodgers for a SIXTY SEVENTH year.  
32. Late Saturday Night, I Love You Man came on the tube. A couple of us watched it and yelled out when Paul Rudd was doing dumb Mark Filler quirky stuff.  I have not a lot of friends, and am pretty quirky.  
33. I suddenly feel like listening to Rush.  
34. Neil Peart, you are so the greatest drummer of all time.  
35. Yes, Tony Stewart, when a car gets close to me, my first inclination is to TRY and get closer.
36. People in Colorado love our alpine slides. After doing Winter Park this weekend, my rankings are Adventure Park at Glenwood Springs, Winter Park, and then Golden.  
37. No, she did not end up on the slower left lane, but that is a whole other story.
38. I WILL say that although Glenwood gets my #1 nod, it is much easier to go airborne OFF the slide in Winter Park. Three of the ten of us had injuries.  I can’t say much more than that on this, but I WILL say that I was surprised my odd injury self was NOT on that list.
39. I don’t know one single Atlanta Falcon fan, and not sure if they even exist outside of Atlanta city limits, but I am ecstatic if I am one that Matt Ryan has his main target for another 5 years.  
40. I didn’t even know that American Pharoah was even chancing his legendary status by racing this weekend, but almost fell off the chair when I found out he lost.
41. Blah, blah, blah. Michael Vick looked good in his first glorified televised practice.  Just stay healthy, Ben, ok?
42. The Skins signed Trent Williams to 5/66 mil.   Now, they wish they had a time machine so they would NOT start RGIII in a glorified televised practice WITHOUT big Trent.  
43. I was a driver for some of the weekend and drove Lindsey’s car. I couldn’t take owning one of these new cars where the lights go out 20 seconds after you lock the car.  My OCD does NOT let me leave the area until I know EVERYTHING is off.  I would waste 20 seconds of my life twice a day for the next 30 years.  That adds up.  So, I will just keep Eleanor for now.
44. We went to the Hot Sulphur Springs up past Granby in our activities this weekend. We initially missed the turn, drove switchbacks up a mountain for 10 minutes (things in Colorado are frequently in remote places so we weren’t TOO worried), and finally asked a couple, dog, and two very weird kids in a golf cart where to go.  We got the info, and my only regret is not asking the weird family what THEY were doing that far up the remote mountain.
45. I was worried that it was the golf cart, mountain version of Deliverance.  
46. Sucks about the fan at Turner Stadium. Can’t imagine witnessing something like that.
47. On a daily, positive MLB note, I think the Blue Jays have decided to start another winning streak.
48. Ok, DirectTV, I actually TRIED to watch the LLWS, it wasn’t on, I figured it was done, and now I have checked online and apparently missed a HUGE Japan comeback.
49. Now I am watching though. 15-11 presently.
50. And I might have just seen the Pennsylvania pitcher crying when the coach came out to him.
51. PGA golfer Brian Harman had TWO hole in ones today. Should have done it yesterday, bro.  I hear your plans tonight are going into New York City.  Not sure about the tradition with TWO HIO’s as it has only happened three times in PGA history, but one way or the other, you are in for one very expensive night, sir.
52. There was a weird woman in jean shorts with an empty gallon container catching the stinky Sulphur water and drinking it. We asked her “isn’t that bad for you?”  She replied in an odd tone “not as long as you drink it in moderation.”
53. Coolest stinky pool there with my crew.  
54. Not a bad view to wake up to.  
55. Or watch the sun go down on.  
56. I drew these in about 3 minutes one of the nights as I always draw dinosaurs for Lindsey’s sister, Avery, and not sure how I thought the arch rivals should be on a team against a pansy flying dinosaur.  
57. On my drive to the Springs, we heard Temple of the Dog’s song “Hunger Strike.” For those of you who know me, you know why that is funny.  For those who don’t, I don’t say I am “hungry” when starving on a weekend morning.  I just sing the song.  Done it for YEARS.  
58. Give it a listen if you are younger or lived in a vacuum during the 90’s.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUb450Alpps
59. The lists.  Keep in mind, this was three guys at a bar with some pops who started talking best evers, and it expanded to lists, and I had a pen and paper.  Walt, Vince, and myself.  Sorry, Walt and Vince, I am just noting your wayward ones and putting mine on paper.
60. RB’s:  Barry, Jim, Erik, OJ, and Walter.
61. All you need to know about the LB’s is that Vince forgot L.T.
62. SAFETIES: Lott, Reed, Polamalu, Tatum, Atwater.
63. TE: Sharpe, Ozzie, Ditka, Gonzalez, Kellen.
64. I forgot to apparently note some of our lists as we did all positions.
65. WR:  Rice, Irvin, Moss, Hutson, Swann.
66. QB: Montana, Baugh, Elway, Brady, Manning.
67. Walt picked Ken Stabler as his #3, and I don’t even need to make a joke about that, correct?  Like they said in White Man Can’t Jump.  TOO easy.
68. That’s it. I need to go to prep work stuff.  Tomorrow is the last day of the month, and I pleasantly will be having a very busy day.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.