I got too tired to pick a true blog theme. It’s like Prego. “It’s in there.”
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Shouldn’t be, but I will tell you briefly about it in the early hooks. We are on a schedule. Let’s turn and burn.
I am BACK.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. I am back from vacation. DISCLAIMER: I LOST the one page blog list after the last blog, but it was accidentally sacrificed in the move from the Villa…to the airport to Denver. Needless to say, I lost some material.
2) By the way, LONG flight day. 12 hours.
3) The REASON why we are on the clock today is because I found another intriguing injury in my long list for a guy who just stays home, travels for work, goes to the gym, and goes to the bar. Nothing too extreme on a regular basis. ANYWAY, 10 days ago, I got darted by about 15 spine darts from a reef sea urchin. I made it through the trip fine. I just spent 5 hours at the ER confusing landlocked doctors about what to do about my baby infection 10 days later.
4) Mom, there is another one. Random injury. I am fine. Long list. Let’s rant. This will be ALL over the board so you know. My plan was to wake up, have a couple screwdrivers during the British Open/ Rory glory ride, blog during it, and then have the rest of my day to do stuff. I got back at 5pm from ER. Ugghhh.
4a) Lindsey messed up her entire day to sit next to me. Incredible. Plus, she knows I don’t like needles.
5) Lindsey is sitting next to me timing me as I write this later…well, I have to finish my blog by the time she is done the last True Blood episode and the new one tonight. I think I have two hours.
6) I WILL say that I won’t diss the show and it has a lot of good looking people and an occasional sex scene with nudity I look up at, but she is tired of me asking if the same guy who did the True Detective theme song and True Blood song are the same person.
7) No cool pics, people, as I promised from St. John. I am on the clock, don’t have easy access to them since they are on Facebook or Lindsey’s phone (I don’t take a lot of pics personally), and need to get through some stuff. Just know this. I am pretty sure I was at two of the top twenty beaches in the world very recently.
8) Can we all take a moment, close our eyes, and think about how cool it was that Dirk Nowitzki was offered $97 million in a contract from TWO teams and ended up taking $25 million? Yes, and breathe deep for hope for future players during that closed eye session.
9) I don’t have time to Google it, but if Albert Pujols pulled the arrow thing after breaking up a save on Rodney like Gabe told me, then that is dirty, my highest compliment.
10) Not to you, Gabe. Albert.
11) I am sure if you Google it after the words Deadspin, they are probably ALL over it. They are over all sorts of stuff 30 seconds after things happen.
12) It is like reentry coming back to Denver and not just getting occasional sports updates with a beach in front of me. I walked the sidewalk today looking for iguanas, and Lindsey almost drove on the wrong side of the road today.
13) My randomness is just because I have to have clearance, Clarence.
14) From the book I am still reading (I don’t read fast on beaches), and from the world of darts in England, “the cows come and go, and bullshit lasts forever.”
15) From the book, on the most northern most golf course in the world, they have three additional rules for reindeer. Truly.
16) From the book, I totally forgot the term “upset” came from Upset beating Man O’ War at Saratoga.
17) From the book, I am on the chapter where the people driving this other course think the Autobahn is for pansies, but I am still mid chapter. Great book.
18) Does USA Today KNOW that charging $.99/ minute is dumb for giving the answers to the crossword puzzle THAT day?
19) Wait. They have to be doing it for a reason. Do people actually CALL it? They have to know NOW?
20) I don’t care about pretty much everything about the WBNA, but I know that Lisa Leslie totally deserves it.
21) That is TOTALLY independent that I made a horse joke 5 hooks ago. You old time readers know that joke. It is too long to explain now.
22) I LOVE the addition for the Bulls of Aaron Brooks. Scoring PG off the bench, and COULD start efficiently IF D.R. goes down again. They are having a GREAT offseason.
23) …which would be the polar opposite of the Lakers and Rockets.
24) Here is ONE photo I am LOVING from the trip. Damn that guy for snagging it. I think I already discussed this in this rant, but redundancy is good on this topic.
25) Sergio Garcia still plays REALLY slow, and it is bothersome. Speed it up, bro.
26) Catching Rory on the final four holes when he has two par fives and he outhits you ALL on the drive has GOT to be depressing.
27) The next Masters will be AWESOME. It will be IF Tiger can make it back at his best tournament or if Rory AKA Boy Wonder will complete the career Grand Slam on a course that fits him more perfectly than the OTHER three courses.
28) Woods ended up plus 6? Laughable. Interview him. I am sure he will say (somewhat like Jim Rome-PROPS) “The course is playing good, my swing feels solid, and I like my chances.”
29) So, the Cavs are willing to trade away Wiggins, Bennett, and their future first round pick. So basically, it is our one we went with the masses and WILL pan out, the one we took the pre-draft #24 and NO one liked it, and the one you can just pick yourself.
30) Have I mentioned that if Kevin Love goes to Cleveland, I have already been scouting out Cleveland jerseys? I love Kevin Love, and I love James for going back to that mistake by the lake. I like Mike Miller too of course.
31) Lindsey just watched Snapped and I was making lunch for the work week. I heard THESE lines. “Jennifer quit stripping, and was working on quitting the pills.” No additional joke needed I would conjecture.
32) I was reading the USA Today and the state highlights, and I heard that Salem, NJ was closing their glass plant. After driving through that town every time on the way to the Delaware Memorial Bridge, I am pretty sure there is nothing left there but a McDonald’s.
33) I was reading the USA Today (it is not quality, but once again my travel newspaper on an airplane) and saw that they mentioned that the SECOND particular strain of a mosquito virus was found in Palm Beach, FL. Crazy. They THEN went on to say nothing happens to you when you get it. Nice, USA Today. I guess you had me at hello. Stop about this stuff and tell me the colonization of the Africanized bee. THAT is important.
34) Does Microsoft cutting 18,000 Nokia jobs that are largely Nokia, which they just took over a year ago, mean this Windows phone is DONE? I didn’t read the whole article. Like I said, I lost my blog list, I had to reach for ideas (that being said, the good stuff is coming-who said I was going in ORDER?).
35) There is a sensitive scene right now in True Blood, people on the screen are crying, and I am doing my best not to laugh. What can I say? Lindsey deals with me watching the DUMBEST real and fake stuff on the screen, people. I deal with dumb vampire stuff that doesn’t touch Lost Boys.
36) Does anyone have Rory McIlroy’s dad’s number? I want it. Now. That dude is loaded.
36a) Going through moderate editing. I need to cut the pics. Speed edit.
37) Or his three buddies that he bet a hundred plus bucks with that Rory would win The Open by age 25? Any of their $371k plus names would do. I got a GREAT place in St. John’s that I bet Lindsey’s dad would sell a week to.
38) I was less surprised that someone actually faked that silly new mascot Cubs mascot, more impressed it was a three man operation, and DO believe more people should ride this wave.
39) Lindsey will be in Vegas this weekend. I will be home. Luckily, the sea urchin only requires antibiotic that allows me to drink, so if I GO to a strip bar as I understand I should when my lady is away, then I can only go for an hour or two, as I might want to keep this dog and plan on sleeping cuddling with the dog on the bed even though it is in crate mode. Hey, I am going to a dog training class with Guiness and actually already know what I am doing. I just work for 65 hours/ week and have no time. More to come on this.
40) The bad thing about CC Sabbathia is that he is older and is going under the knife. The good news is that it is not microfracture surgery. What does this mean? It means the Yankees can be once again older, but he doesn’t have to retire.
41) I can crack on him all I want. Dude is an inning STUD.
42) Floyd Mayweather says he will chase 50-0 if the price is right (current contract ends before that). Of course it will be like that, Money. I don’t even know who T.I. IS, but per TMZ you probably need to clean up that slept with your woman mess first.
43) Lindsey and I clicked by an old Rocky Marciano fight on our TV dial. I could tell it was Rocky Marciano by the movement.
44) So, Manziel’s sponsors are presently Nike, Nissan, McDonald’s. and Snickers? I find Nissan just WEIRD, and I kind of wished that Manziel will sleep with that T.I. guy’s wife…soon.
45) It was QUIET as hell, but did anyone else notice that Huston Street is having a great season like old days, and that the Angels just traded the Padres for them? Dirty trade. LOVE it. Wait. I hate the Angels. HORRIBLE trade. Wait, the Phillies suck, and Millville guy Mike Trout is on that team. I am so confused.
46) If you haven’t noticed, the Steelers are the only sports I totally hate EVERYONE else during their season. The Philles and Flyers I will always be primary with. In the NBA, I follow players, not teams…unless the Pistons or Sixers get good any time soon.
47) Marcus Allen wants the Raiders in L.A. I think I want whatever Marcus Allen wants.
48) Don’t read Deadspin. BE stupid. Ok. I will cover you. #1. http://www.foxsports.com/mlb/story/this-gabe-kapler-swing-takes-the-cake-071814
49) I am surprised Deadspin did NOT pick this up. http://www.foxsports.com/buzzer/story/russell-westbrook-launches-expensive-elephant-print-heavy-clothing-line-071814
50) If hottie Gina Carano joins UFC again and fights fellow hottie Ronda Rousey, do we already have the movie pre-written? This will be epic. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/cagewriter/dana-white-says-ronda-rousey-will-defend-against-gina-carana-in-december-if-carano-inks-ufc-deal-181348421.html
51) I was hungry after the hospital trip today. Tony P’s is basically pizza, and Lindsey doesn’t dig that all the time. I will give her THIS. I get sad about it, but that place from an ex-bartender’s point of view is a train wreck…with pizza.
52) I have worked in restaurant for 14 years, but NEVER caught this fact. She(a) alerted me this week that it is impolite to put the napkin on your plate while others are eating. Had no idea. I think it makes no sense. I think clearing plates is a good idea.
53) We are at the end of episode #1 of True Blood. At least you know you are worse case half way through.
54) If you didn’t hear about Jason Biggs making a rude comment on Twitter about the Malaysian airline thing, then you don’t read the USA Today.
55) By the way, thoughts and prayers to everyone involved. Wow. Sick, sick world. I don’t go into detail on things like that on this site. Thoughts and prayers again though.
56) Germany is #1 in the new FIFA rankings, and the US is at #15. Get used to it people. Getting in the top ten means, you need to be like the Netherlands, where I believe soccer and darts are #1 and #2 as far as television sports.
57) Props to the Seattle Sounders for trying though.
58) Germany won because they are the best team from one side to the other. Solid, not spectacular, and NO weaknesses. Think of them like the 49ers of the 80’s, the Cowboys of the early 90’s, or the Seahawks…right now.
59) Watch out for 2018 Belgium, Germany. I am on record.
60) Have you BEEN to Cleveland? Manziel, Republican Convention, LeBron? It has a rock and roll hall of fame for rock and roll that closes at 6, and a 16th street mall from Denver that lasts 2.5 blocks. Talk all you want about that hook though. You are reading a blog from a Cavs fan (college and NBA now).
61) We had funny people on our Southwest flight yesterday. It was REALLY refreshing for the first 3 hour flight. I just barely chuckled during the second 3 hour flight. Must SUCK flying to St. John from San Diego (actually, that doesn’t sound like it sucks).
62) Lindsey just informed me one of the funny people on our Southwest is all over YouTube. Here you go. Apparently, I got lucky being on her plane. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxLrwE0jv6w
63) Have you heard that Dan Snyder is trying to pay off the Indian reservations by buying them a skate park? Google it. Dare you.
64) Don’t use the words “pay off” and you are home.
65) I didn’t realize Puerto Rico was so far from our mainland. Flights were long.
66) When is the Lakers’ power forward cheese plate party? I like cheese, and love them trying to explain to fans on how they just signed THREE power forwards. Boozer, Randle, Davis. Boom.
67) Laura Diaz still plays golf? I feel like I just jumped in a time machine with Stewie.
68) Get better, Bill Russell. And I know you don’t have cancer. But I can’t live anymore if Mr. Valvano and you BOTH have trouble during a speech and he starts a movement and you have more fingers than rings. I saw you eating breakfast during the Final Four in Detroit. Scott told me you don’t like being bothered. It was a great looking omelet too.
69) I need to figure in a little picture posting time. Let’s do the speed round.
70) Is Lance Armstrong still talking with people, and more importantly, are we still reporting it?
71) Marv Levy wants Steve Tasker in the HOF. I will take a crazy second sentence and say, Uhhh no-should have WON one to get a special teamer and third receiver in the HOF.
72) So, the Houston Astros have a plan WITH prospects, and Brady Aiken might walk because they think they found a “ligament abnormality?” Deviating.
73) I would highly recommend NOT getting stung by a sea urchin.
74) The Big Bang Theory dudes are holding out for more money? Perfect. Stop the show. Just freeze it. Except for that blond on that show, I could care less. She is so dope.
75) The British Open just simply needs ONE day of rain EVERY year. I think like we need snow makers in Colorado, they need rain/ wind makers in England. Rory USED that course.
76) Is anyone else excited to see the penalties for Aldon Smith AND Ray Rice, and is anyone else curious if Goodell will include the airport bomb threat IN those penalties?
77) Why does Southwest take the drink order, feed you all you want in salty snacks, and then deliver all of their drinks 15 minutes later? Not complaining, because it is free, but just asking.
78) I am not editing this by the way. Sorry. My intern just crashed at 830pm. I won’t be far behind him after a day with IV’s, shots, and True Blood. You can email me all of my grammatical mistakes.
79) Shit, I haven’t even figured out what my theme is. Maybe I will make it True Blood, as Lindsey will like that. It would make sense as I am writing this, admitting there are no sports on that I care about, and I am watching this vampire crap.
80) I had such a long flight the other day that I read other parts of the paper. Someone let me know how that drug trafficking/ Fed Ex case works out. Sounds interesting.
81) Debbie, I had SO much fun on the vacation (Lindsey’s mom). Debbie I believe has taken over Lindsey for people in her family reading my blog. That is why I do shout outs.
82) Drew (he NEVER reads this), our humor is exactly the same. Sometimes dorky, but outside of the box on ANY level.
83) I TOTALLY forgot about the handoff from Letterman to Stephen Colbert. I hate the fact I heard that Colbert will be HIMSELF as opposed to his faux self. I LOVE his over the top faux self.
84) Did you know Sandy Lyle and John Daly still play the British Open?
85) Did you know John Singleton (not the actor) has to go back to the factory after playing The Open?
86) Did you know the British Open is “The Open.” This is not a soccer thing. They invented golf, people.
87) I forget whether I mentioned this. Tiger +6. Ugghhh.
88) That is the correct spelling of Ugghhh by the way.
89) In St. John, I finally stood up (after two tries) in paddleboarding. Baby steps. I do killer stuff, but admit balance stuff like that kills me. Success.
90) Rickie Fowler WILL win something, and I might bet on HIM for The Masters next year.
91) Should I assume that since Mr. Nibali is killing everyone in the Tour de France, that he is cheating? Thanks, Lance.
92) The story about Goodell talking about “painkillers” in the NFL KILLED me. Why? Because I think I drank Painkillers half the trip in the Caribbean. I have a T-Shirt from the British bar that invented them. I will just keep it as I laughed.
93) Now, I just need a domestic story about “bushwhackers.”
94) Dan Uggla, when did you start sucking. The Braves waited FOUR years, and you were a stud, but .162, 2/10 ain’t going to cut it.
95) You all know who Pau Gasol is. Fine. You WILL know who Nikola Mirotic is. Dude is SICK. I have seriously watched MUCH video on him and LOVE the Bulls offseason.
96) Someone tell me who won the WNBA ASG. I will just mentally say thank you.
97) But jokingly.
98) I was going to break down the whole MLB half point, but I don’t have time.
99) Not today.
100) Bon Jovi is thinking about joining the Bills, he is with a Toronto group, but says they are not moving them. I will say this. PLEASE don’t move that franchise. INCREDIBLE fans. Crappy city. FOUR straight Super Bowls. Don’t do it. Just like England is a bad idea, Toronto is also bad. Let it go. Raise your freaking hands, Buffalo.
101) That was freaking funny as hell if you are over the age of 35.
102) Go to Foxy’s in the British Virgin Islands.
103) Then go to Soggy Dollar, in the adjacent bay, where you get to swim from you boat to get a t-shirt and a painkiller.
104) I found my beads that I needed. Shells, shark teeth, and turquoise. Boom.
105) Trunk Bay is WELL worth the hype. Google it. Thanks, Steve.
106) 2.5 Men is going to have them get MARRIED the next season to adopt another kid. There IS no possibility of another Jake. Sorry.
107) Flying into Puerto Rico is one of the prettiest places I have flown into in my life. I didn’t get to enjoy, but can’t wait to do so with Lindsey.
108) They are making ANOTHER NCIS…in N.O.? Ugghhh. I love New Orleans, but I think that NCIS is like a Thompson Twins that got more than one or two hits. It is just wrong.
109) In case you care, Morgan Freeman is in a series in 2014 in Madam Secretary. Has he cloned himself, or does he work twice as hard as anyone else? How does Jack Nicholson watch so many Lakers games?
110) T-Mac retires after getting his first strikeout. Him and John Elway are having drinks RIGHT now.
111) Did Henrik Stenson pull a Tin Cup during the British Open?
112) I didn’t a lot time for posting pictures. Damn. I am just about done and sad.
113) Rhumblines in St. John is a badass restaurant, but my taste buds don’t deserve it. Steve, Lime Inn was more my taste and I wish I would have had the seafood manicotti there. Damn. But awesome, regardless.
114) Being on a catamaran for 6 hours is awesome in WHATEVER setting.
115) I think Lindsey’s brother forgets when he asks me if I want to drive is that I drove one of those things from Florida to Newport, RI.
116) That is also when I learned to love Dr. Dre and spades, and perhaps got a couple violations we shouldn’t discuss.
117) I love my job, but will try and save up for that $33 million house in St. John I saw in a brochure. That is the plan.
118) Ok. I have more on my lists, but they are the older ones. Plus, True Blood is about done. I need to post and go to sleep. It just turned 9pm. Anyway, if you have made it this far, please just let me know what color you would like the framed sea urchin spines/ darts from my heel you would like. The spray paint is on ME. I hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
118a) I personally wanted more pics, but I got vetoed in house. Damn.
Here are 2 of the 15 pics I wanted in here really quick.
Ok. THIS guy did like 20 laps around the airport working out. He switched hands at turn 10. I was mesmorized. Peace.