I only have watched one episode, but I sure as heck am still lost…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Day rant.  Speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Greetings and salutations, people.  Too little time, too much to say as usual.  Let’s do what we can, and unfortunately skate over topics that I could write a book on…well, a long magazine article…well, a long magazine article with an ad on every other page.  Like ESPN Mag with larger writing.

2)      I am a Steelers fan, and I have no real problem like Antonio Brown does with what Emmanuel Sanders said about Peyton and Big Ben.  He just said a “better leader.”  That is true most likely about Peyton, although my little jab in the gut would be that the far better one has one less Super Bowl.  Life is so funny.

3)      That joke is probably only good until…about early February.  Yes.  I said that.

4)      I think Sanders and Brown should make up.  It is like Pauley under the bridge.

5)      I never said I was funny.  Because Pauley was under water.  Geez.

6)      Not a bad life thus far, Tyron Smith.  The Cowboys just upped his contract for another 8 years, meaning he is on the books until freaking 2023 for a full contract total of $110 million.  Not bad.  I knew I should have either picked one single sport as a kid or not rested my eyes on the lawn at UVA in between classes.

7)      Just happened.  The A’s pulled the Jon Lester trade for Mr. Cespedes.  I think this is a great trade for the A’s, who although they have a smaller payroll, they sure have an All Star like pitching rotation now.  They get enough offense out of everyone else.  They don’t have to overpay Lester next year as his contract expires.  There is nothing wrong with this trade at all for them.  They are one of the frontrunners easily.  The Angels didn’t make any big name splashes, but that is because all of their moves were well before the media noticed trade deadline.

8)      Besides giving me Pass #2 in Tecmo Bowl II that was unstoppable, I love Andre Reed for asking “Who the f___ is Johnny Manziel?”  Love it, Andre.

9)      You know the MLB trade market is shallow when the big trade yesterday was for Masterson, who is 4-6, with a 5.51 ERA.

10)   The Cards continued picking up loose parts for their playoff run with the trade for John Lackey.  You can like it or not like it, but here is the deal.  You really can’t argue with the success of the Cardinals over the years.  Dynasty?  Hell no.  Consistent winner?  Correct.  Just really good staff decisions year after year.

11)   I have to skip stuff.  This just isn’t possible to squeeze in one speed blog.

12)   I don’t care what happened with Jamaal Charles, Mr. Lynch.  You signed a not too shabby 4 year/ $30 million deal in 2012 that should make enough for you and whoever you are supporting.  Seriously, if athletes can feel MORE important than a contract they signed, can we take BACK money if they suck?

13)   Jordan Gross stopped by Panthers practice the other day.  Pretty crazy that he was an offensive tackle just months ago.  Due is slender as hell now.

14)   I still will welcome back Stephen A Smith after his week off, although his apology was kind of weak and pre-taped.  I like the guy and I like his delivery.

15)   Washington Wizard fans are hoping Kevin Durant has the same hometown feeling that Mr. James had.  I don’t think so.

16)   Those Cardinals practices are really wiping John Abraham out.  Literally, in a car late at night with a lot of liquor.  Guess he is taking weekends off.

17)   Gordon.  Second hand smoke.  This just keeps getting better.

18)   Steve Nash will retire after the season.  Here is hoping he has a decent year on a bad team to retire on a high note.  Not exactly John Elway like, but just a high note.  Too classy of dude not to root for a nice exit.  I guess averaging above 10 assists per game with that roster WILL be hard though.

19)   Ravens fans.  Stop giving Ray Rice standing o’s.

20)   Props to the NBA and Michele Roberts.  First woman at such a post, and SO great to hear the support she received from current players.

21)   There are better people out there who don’t have other full time jobs to explain the plusses and minuses of the $70 million NCAA concussion suit.  I am in a rush.

22)   If you haven’t seen Peyton Manning dance yet, I hope that life is treating you well in the bubble you evidently live in.

23)   Yes, Joe Torre, you SHOULD have mentioned Steinbrenner in your HOF speech.

24)   EVERYONE is saying how awesome Derrick Rose looks these days.  Even Jim Boeheim.  If Jim is talking about it, then it is real, people.  He doesn’t exactly shout compliments at the mic regularly.

25)   A “back fracture” doesn’t sound like a walk in the park, Blake Griffin.

26)   Shelly Sterling is cleared to sell the team.  Just do it.  Moving on.

27)   Like to important stuff.  Look at this sick Manny Manchado throw.  http://deadspin.com/manny-machado-threw-out-albert-pujols-because-his-arm-i-1613703810

28)   Or a man who put on Craigslist that he wants to hire two topless women to admin his fantasy football draft.  http://deadspin.com/man-seeks-girls-to-host-fantasy-football-draft-possibl-1613503081

29)   Or China building a square race track.  http://fittish.deadspin.com/the-square-running-track-fact-or-fiction-1612925652

30)   Or this high quality (not sarcastic) article about the inaccuracies (which most of us know already) of Remember the Titans.  http://deadspin.com/remember-the-titans-is-a-lie-and-this-man-wants-you-to-1609473834

31)   The Timberwolves have announced they are only talking to the Cavs at this point for Kevin Love.  People, Wiggins signed 7 days ago.  We have TWENTY THREE more days of media coverage until a trade can even be announced.  Ugghhh.

32)   The Cleveland Browns had a skirmish at practice.  Probably about how Manziel is a punk or something.  Nah.  I don’t know.  Just guessing.  Maybe they are fighting because they realized they are still the freaking Browns.

33)   Dammit.  I guess Johnny Football is winning the war with me, since I still keep mentioning his freaking name, too.  His brand might be negative with me, but it IS a brand.  I say his name and how tired I am of him.  Non sequitur.  I need a flow chart.

34)   Drunk History is the greatest show on TV.

35)   I tried watching The Leftovers, the new show on HBO.  As soon as I figure out what the hell is going on, it is possible I will think it is good.  I am not there after one episode.  Not even close actually.

36)   If Derek Jeter wasn’t cocky before, I assume the ex-President George W. honoring him didn’t help things on that front.

37)   It HAS to be time for the Rockies trading Tulowitzki talks to begin this year or next.  HAS to be.

38)   I believe the Heat playing the Cavs on Christmas is about as locked in as the grass being green and the sky being blue.

39)   CNNSI has a new format that you know that I hate.  I even hate the daily hot chick to the right of the wire.  Someone walking by my work desk immediately does a double take when all I am doing is doing a quick headline check in.  Like I am on a skin site.  Geez.

40)   Patrick Peterson deserved to get paid.  I concur.  That being said, hard to believe that Richard Sherman is now the THIRD highest paid CB in the NFL.  Just seems wrong on MANY levels. 5/70 with $48 mil guaranteed.  That dude BETTER be a freaking island.  Better be.

41)   That is it.  Gotta go.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Actually, I hope it was just better than Zach Hocker’s new hairdo.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

42)   Just Google Zach Hocker if you didn’t follow that last joke…