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I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

The Airplane Rant.  No internet, no checking stats, no checking spelling, no editing after…I can only copy and paste and put a pretty picture at the beginning.

I feel the need…the need for speed.

1)       So, my last rant concluded in the middle of the home run derby, which Prince Fielder ended up winning.  I wrote he was totally overswinging in the first two rounds, and he admitted it afterwards.  Congrats, Prince.  Not only am I happy for you overall because of the win, but I am happy that one of the two guys who have TOTALLY embraced this contest and gotten back interest from fans in it, ends up winning it.  You can see the joy in both you and David Ortiz during the celebration/ contest.  Dibs for either truly liking it, or for pretending to enjoy it while acknowledging it is a necessary evil for a large part of the fan base.

2)       By the time I went to bed last night, the Magic had advanced past the three team deal phase and were now looking at a FOUR team deal.  I sleep for a couple hours and now they are examining “other options.”  Billy Beane got credit for his mathematical Moneyball concept in baseball, but whoever figures out how to swing this trade might as start shopping for better cars and places to live, as their raise will be substantial.  Make sure you flow chart the end result for me, ok?  LOVE flow charts.

3)       Attorney Rusty Hardin says that not only is Adrian Peterson innocent in this resisting arrest deal, but that he is the victim.  I can’t wait to hear this argument.  So, the cops attacked HIM.  Got it.  He must have been wearing baggy clothing that night before they “picked” on him, because no way I am looking at a physique like that and not thinking he is a professional athlete.  I hear Shannon Sharpe got picked on a lot in the day, too.  Anyway, I look forward to the “truth to surface.”  SIDE NOTE: I was at a Jim Rome tour stop back in the day in Denver, and Shannon Sharpe took off his shirt on stage, and the entire place exploded with cheers.  Then, we all looked around nervously at the other tour stop goers.  You have never seen a building full of male Rome clones feel so befuddled about what they just cheered for and if they should be embarrassed about it.

4)       The Knicks ended up pulling Marcus Camby.  With Amare Stoudemire and Marcus up front, you have one of the biggest and most athletic front courts in the association.  I would say maybe they should morph into a totally run and gun team, but then remembered Jason Kidd is their new point guard.  That is JUST what that older guy wants.  Anyway, nice pull, NYK.

5)       The Indiana Pacers ended up matching the Blazers’ offer for Roy Hibbert.  GREAT move, I don’t care how many funds you are worried about spending.  Quality seven footers are a little rare these days in the NBA.  Finding ones that can pass effectively also who played in a Princeton offense?  Near impossible.  Keep that guy.

6)       Penn State has proclaimed they are getting the 2nd most donations in school history.  What they are not telling us is that all the donations have this note attached to the check.  “For extra security personnel to guard against heinous things going on for YEARS on campus in obvious locations.”

7)       The Yankees have told Reggie Jackson to “stay away” for the time being after his comments on ARod and other issues.  Reggie, I think you just might be one of those people.  One of those people who things just come out wrong even if we believe you meant right.  When Rickey Henderson says things, they are just funny and him being Rickey.  When you say stuff, the statements somehow open you up for criticism.  You need someone next to you to run by statements before releasing.  Kind of like a non translating translater.

8)       Olympic soccer player Hope Solo was “warned” for a positive drug test.  I am glad she is playing as she is one of our best players.  I am also glad they took it easy on her.  My confusion starts with the warning thing.  When did I fall asleep and people are now just being warned.  Must be an IOC thing (I can’t look it up, Woody, so leave it alone if that was common knowledge).  No, Jose Canseco, you can’t make a baseball comeback and be “warned” a bunch of times.  By the way, did you hear about Jose’s tweet?  Before the home run derby, he tweeted that he could still win this thing today if he was invited.  Thanks for the funny tweet, thanks for continuing the odd life you live, thanks for disrespecting the present stars, and you are not exactly splitting the atom over there.

9)       After the home run derby before bed, I had the celebrity All Star softball game on in the background (replay) while prepping for my work thing the next day.  Bill Simmons was hilarious while announcing it.  Love that guy.

10)    Trent Reznor has a lot going on these days.  He has that band with his wife that is about to release something, his Nine Inch Nails are working on new songs for another CD, and evidently he is hard at work on the background music for Call of Duty: Black Ops II.  I am not a gamer, but have LOTS of friends who are, and maybe they already know this, but I wanted to pass it along in case they didn’t know.  I thought it was pretty cool.

11)    Well, THAT 3 year plan sure worked pretty damn good.  Let’s buy a horse for next to nothing.  Let’s train him.  Let’s enter some races.  Let’s win the first two legs of the Triple Crown.  Then, after an injury sidelines him for the final leg of that, let’s sell him for $10 million to someone over in China.  I feel bad for the poor horse who now has a new owner, but then I remember he is just going to a big field with a barn and lots of grass to have lots of horse sex.  He sounds fine to me.

12)    In the new tennis rankings that just came out, everyone was talking about Roger Federer being #1.  That is impressive, and I personally didn’t think we would see this day again.  But that is not what I smiled about.  I smiled about the #4 guy, which remained unchanged from the last rankings.  Who is it?  Andy Murray.  I can’t think of one ranking in the world in any sport that is more accurate than his perennial #4.  For the last two years, the guy simply goes out and beats everyone else on the other side of the court as him, and then loses to either Federer, Nadal, or Djokovic.  Book it every time.

13)    Did anyone else notice that underneath Spiderman in the weekly movie polls, Ted sat solidly at #2 at $32 mil?  Strong start, and now word of mouth is spreading.  Solid movie, especially one with a talking teddy bear.  And I can’t imagine a movie where the hardest thing to pull off was make a stuffed teddy bear’s lips move for 2 hours costs more than that.  Mission accomplished.

14)    I hear that JR Smith is back with the Knicks.  I guess we as fans get the gift of knowing that he stays in exciting New York for another year, meaning ANYTHING can happen on the wire at ANY given moment.  Make us proud, JR.

15)    Lance Armstrong’s attempted lawsuit against cycling was thrown out by a judge yesterday.  In a related story, Brett Favre has been caught throwing the football to WR’s in a local Mississippi’s high school field.  Over all of this years ago.

16)    Speaking of doping, I am EXCITED.  Not only did that racing guy Allmendinger get busted for substance abuse, but now he wants them to test his “B” sample to see if THAT is clean.  I hope this story keeps going a few more weeks, because I am sorting out this incredible joke with this, but it is just not all the way there yet.  Not ready to release.  Give me time.  Is there a C and D sample by the way?  Does it work different in racing?

17)    The grass is green, the sky is blue, and the Clippers just signed Blake Griffin to a contract extension.  In related news, the Magic really don’t want to trade Dwight Howard.

18)    Howard Stern is on America’s Got Talent?  I am usually late to the hip party, but I just found out about this.  It still won’t persuade me to tune in given some of the few acts I have seen and heard about on there, but cool stuff regardless.  I remember as a kid listening to that guy on the radio outside of Philly WAY back when.

19)     I see headlines about JR Smith and where he signs, but I have to dig a little about where a guy who has one 4 championships signs?  Weird.  Anyway, the Big Fundamental just signed on for 3 more years.  Next year is an odd year-of COURSE he signed back up.  Then one off year, and then a final odd year to try and go out on top with.  It just makes sense to me.

20)    I wouldn’t mind being Karl Kissner right now.  What?  You don’t KNOW that household name?  Who is it, you ask?  Ok.  Karl is not in sports.  Karl is just a guy.  Karl lives in Ohio in a middle class neighborhood.  Karl went upstairs to clean his attic the other day.  Karl found a box.  Karl dusted it off and opened it.  It had a collection of LOADS of baseball cards that included Ty Cobb and Honus Wagner to name a couple, and is being looked at as one of the most valuable card collections to date.  Karl won’t have many problems pretty soon.

21)    I didn’t have time at the airport to check out who she was (only was online for a few minutes), but ESPN’s website headline photo was…racy…this afternoon.  When I go home, I HAVE to figure out who that pretty much naked chick was.  You are crazy, ESPN.

22)    I was in Frankfort for a day.  Odd thoughts.  After the demo this morning, we drove around Frankfort for a few minutes.  You all still have small river old school bridges.  Love it.  I drove up to your beautiful capitol.  I have never been within 20 feet of a capitol building in the middle of a weekday and not seen ONE person on the lawn, wandering around, cars parked, etc.  I thought I was doing something illegal.  Also, whoever designed your street lights around there should have been fired.  Big problem if I need to take a left on any major road in that area.  I also liked the fact that I saw a total of two cars on “Broadway.”  AND a big railroad track went down the center of the street.  Very cool.  Anyway, nice quaint, town and enjoyed my very brief stay.

23)    Article I didn’t have to open to chuckle.  “Judge OK’s rooftop missiles at London Games.  Fancy stuff.

24)    I have said this before.  I READ ESPN, like the articles on CNNSI, and go to Fox Sports just for some random sports stories.  I know that we are at the slow part of the season, but at 3pm today, there was not ONE same story on the top 6 stories of EITHER site.  That is kind of amazing I think for two sports sites supposedly aimed at the same thing.

25)    I see that two dads fought after the medals ceremony of a Little League baseball game.  I was confused by the fact that they were from GA as opposed to…like a New Jersey or somewhere similar.  Well, qualifying for the Little League World Series is still going on this month, so I guess the Jerseyites still have time to outdo them.

26)    A US Army sponsor is pulling out of NASCAR.  This is the Fillerbuster giving you your daily NASCAR bit of news.  Moving on.

27)    Jerry Buss was taken to the hospital and treated for dehydration.  Dude, don’t sweat so much.  You got Steve Nash.

28)    The US Olympic team will be wearing Berets as uniforms this year.  In case you were worried about maker Ralph Lauren going out of business…don’t.

29)    An Indian soccer player was turned down by 3 hospitals for an injury and then died.  What?  Just so I know for 2014, do hospitals in serious soccer countries do the same thing to fans?

30)    Finally, in a HUGE Tour de France story, a present rider was arrested yesterday.  Like an IN the hotel guy relaxing after a long day of riding.  They would probably catch more, but half their personnel is still working on Lance Armstrong.

31)    That is it.  Going to take a nap now.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a clown question, bro… Peace.