I prefer to have you NOT hand toss it, and perhaps do it quickly, non touched, like you used to do.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my  chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Old format. On the clock.  Let’s turn and burn.

1)      I have a co-worker who has the Newman “you didn’t say the magic word” screensaver.  That is more funny because Jurassic Park is on Encore right now and I am checking out the 3D version next weekend.

2)      The Dodgers have lost eight in a row.  I hope their parking lot expenses are less now (look for it.  The joke is THERE).

3)      Lindsey just endured 120 minutes of me playing Widespread Panic.  She did well.  If she is GOING to the show this year, then I hope she knows the concerts are 3 hours minimally.  At least I have someone who can go get my nachos.

4)      Please people.  I worked 14 years of restaurant.  If you get hooked up, please tip on the  INITIAL price, not the discounted one.  Take the ORIGINAL price, and tip on that.  They SO appreciate it.  And KNOW that you did it.  If you doubt me, then go watch Waiting.  You might never go out again if you are tight from a budget perspective.

5)      Hollandaise sauce is the best thing EVER, and putting crab on eggs benedict is BRILLIANT.  I literally rank the Denver crab benedicts around town.

6)      The Bulls had a chance last night. You might go LeBron, Wade, or Bosh as the keys.  I say that Norris Cole won that game for them.  Just saying.

7)      Lindsey and others laugh about my random thoughts and entries in my blog.  One, it is MY blog.  Two, you have NO idea about how much passion I have for this thing.  Three, this is simply an extension of myself.  Don’t read it if you don’t like it.  Boom goes the dynamite.

8)      Sorry, Lindsey.  I am sending Rant Squad scouts out.  OU’s sophomore QB Kendall Thompson had a good night.  http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaaf/2013/05/10/oklahoma-quarterback-kendal-thompson-arrested/2151811/

9)      Rod Woodson says that Richard Sherman is better than Darrelle Revis at CB.  I think  Sherman is better too, will listen to what he says, and am SO mad the Steelers hat I lost was the one signed by Rod after a 10 minute conversation in Littleton, CO.  Never jet ski in a hat.  I have worn five hats in my life since 18.  I am 40.  Do the math.  Two are retired, two are lost. Thanks to Scott for saving the first one, and I am treasuring my present one.

10)   The next Usain Bolt might not come from Jamaica.  He might be Japanese.  10.01 at age 17?  DIRTY.  http://www.yardbarker.com/track_and_field/articles/msn/yoshihide_kiryu_draws_comparisons_to_usain_bolt_after_tying_junior_world_record_in_100_meters_video/13585892

11)   Jeff Gordon is about to get SEVEN HUNDRED STRAIGHT starts as a NASCAR racer.  So.  He has successfully sat down for a long time.  Brett Favre?  Cal Ripken?  Gordon?  I think not.

11a) I was just thinking about my favorite rap songs randomly.  Regulators-Warren G.  Roxanne-UTFO (thanks, Matt). It Takes Two-Rob Base.  Unfortunately, I can still do all on cue…word for word.

12)   So.  There is this kid.  Dylan Moses.  He graduates in 2017.  He is a RB.  Dude must being getting LAID right now.  He already has offers to college.  No.  Not just colleges.  FOOTBALL colleges.  Not just football colleges.  Bama and LSU.

13)   I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall when Kobe calls his mother for Mother’s Day.

14)   Rocks or not.  Congrats to rookie Shelby Miller, who threw a one hitter against the Rockies.  I will check on you from time to time.

15)   Is anyone else who has been in a Domino’s Pizza bothered by the fact that they are putting their HANDS in every pizza with whole slower, hands on policy in commercials?

16)   Mike Tyson will play a cartoon character in a new show.  Aside from from eating an ear or doing the Phi Collins drumbeat in the first Hangover, what is weird about this?

17)   Geno Smith threw at Jets camp this week.  The Jets are elated.  He is not good looking, not aged, and can actually throw the ball correctly.  Boom.  Smithowing doesn’t have a “ring” to it.

18)   I LOVED how the NBA announcer said that the “we want more” AT&T commercial was his least favorite of all of the fantastic commercials last night during the game.

19)   I wake up everyday hoping JR Smith did something stupid.

20)   I have to give props to my new pastor’s digs.  He is SO similar to me, has battled the same problems, and I will follow him anywhere.  http://www.villagechurchdenver.com/?p=1

21)   I am not worried about what I miss today because I have a 3 hour flight to DC tomorrow at 705am.  That is blog UTOPIA.  I wish I was on the west coast to make it four.

22)   Seinfeld couldn’t existed with cell phones…at least their intended plots.  I was excited about this new Twitter account about PRESENT Seinfeld hypothetical plots, but I was unimpressed.  I will OWN this Twitter account.  Boom. https://twitter.com/SeinfeldToday

23)   Lindsey and me are on a budget, but we found a whole wrecking crew deal.  We are going to Glenwood Springs next week for minimal cost.  Guess what was on Groupon? Adventure Park.  Old school readers?  You know.  New school?  Check THIS SHIT out.  Basically, a park for people who need adrenaline rushes.  No pansies.  Bungee Jumping.  Alpine Slide.  A Park built 3000 feet above the town.  AMAZING.  Check out this ONE ridiculous ride there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MWwcC52j0g

24)   Summary. Let’s build a badass park at the top of a mountain.

25)   Isn’’t it SO cool when T Rex comes in and eats the Velociraptors  in Jurassic Park? Yay.

26)   Here is the Alpine Slide at this place.  NUTS.  You can go as fast as you want to and it is year round.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d26YW8L-Egg  I have done it in nice weather…missed it in snow.

27)   I tried to convince Lindsey that Stairway to Heaven might be the best song of all time, but there was a passenger door in my Jeep.  She left.  I find it awesome that the first two TAPES I owned off of allowance and mowing lawn money still have the best two songs of ALL time.  Panama by VH and Stairway by LZ.

28)   Fox Sports is useless except for this blog.  They had a story about Robert Griffin’s wedding registry, but then I realized it wasn’t cool enough for Deadspin and not worth my time.

29)   JJ Watt was NOT in a car crash.  That must have been Fox Sports.

30)   Tyrann Matthieu has come out and said he no longer wants to be called the Honey Badger.  Thanks.  According to Seinfeld, you can’t PICK your nickname.  You sure as hell can’t END it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5ibSvOWAMg

31)   I watched an early Seinfeld the other day.  HILARIOUS.  What is the worst thing about sleeping when you are a cannibal?  Getting a good sleep.  Read it one more time.  Here.  Let’s add to it.  Who are we eating today?  Bob?  I liked Bob.  Delicious.

32)   Did I not TELL you one year from today that Imagine Dragons would be huge? LISTEN to Imagine Dragons.  TRUST me.  You will hear three songs where you will say ” I KNOW that song.”

33)   Rodman ripped Obama for his handling of the North Korea situation.  Just know THIS, Dennis.  You could rebound, and you were lucky to play with Zeke and MJ, but if you play a game of HORSE against the President, you will lose.

34)   The Rangers-Capitals series is going 2-2 1…as expected.

35)   I would have liked to be a fly on the…tree…when enemies Garcia and Woods paired up.  They HATE each other.

36)   Seriously, Hubie Brown announcing an NBA game is…the ultimate.

37)   That is it.  I am on a plane tomorrow, so I can kill the rest of the list.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN (.302, 10, 21, .383) question, bro.  Peace.