I was worried, but Newman is NOT dead, people.
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock, and NOT on the clock. Hard stop at 330 to prep for the bracket release. Day rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. JJ, pops. Matt, Lindsey is on level 438 and hunting you down. UVA might have gotten a #1 or #2 seed against Duke today. Bring it.
2) Florida is a #1 seed win or lose. UK might get out of a #8 or #9 seed with a win. Florida will win.
3) Michigan State will win also. Can we all sit down, close our eyes, and imagine Michigan WITH McGary?
4) London Perrantes is my favorite college basketball player.
5) I am literally giddy for 4pm and the bracket release.
6) I just talked to someone who was LEAVING to go party for St. Paddy’s Day. I am done partying for birthdays and St. Paddy’s. Done.
7) Carmelo says that the Knicks signing Phil Jackson was a “power move.” Not that he has any competition, but that MIGHT be the most intelligent thing Melo has ever said.
8) The over/under for the announcer mixing up the Harrson twins for UK is 5.5. I am single handedly releasing the line.
9) Thoughts and prayers to my childhood FAVORITE baseball player, Mike Schmidt. He has that cancer thing going on. Loved him as a player.
10) Amazing what we know from Twitter before reading it on ESPN. Apparently, Arian Foster has cleared himself (via Twitter).
11) Tell your friends. SEVEN of the past 8 NCAA champions have won their conference tourney. Just saying.
12) I will be picking one sheet of integrity and one pro UVA sheet. Been a while since I had to do that.
13) Whoever the Broncos football player I was hanging out with yesterday, thanks for the drinks. You are one LARGE man.
14) I was updating Salesforce before partying for St. Paddy’s Day. My job OWNS me.
15) It is another Sunday, and I think the Sixers are still losing.
16) I have 279 Twitter followers. Join the party. I am fun.
17) In case you forgot about VCU, don’t.
18) In case you forgot about Louisville, don’t.
19) In case you forgot about Michigan State, don’t.
20) In case you forgot about UCLA, don’t.
21) Ah, the glory of winning your conference tournament. Cal Poly is in at 13-19.
22) We are seriously at UFC 171? I am old. I remember UFC #1.
23) I am skipping over the three items I can’t read on my list. Long day yesterday.
24) Zach Robison, GREAT to see you again. How is the Achilles? Fantastic guy I met at Cerk’s wedding in Delaware.
25) Wisconsin and Nova lose in tourney. Does anyone really WANT the final #1 seed?
26) You read it here, and I have been saying it all along. Advance Oklahoma State WHEREVER they are placed. Two rounds minimally, people.
27) Ironic that the Bengals released James Harrison. The Rooneys are NOT calling you this time.
28) I am confused as Jimmy Rollins why he isn’t starting. He is old. They are old. Start him.
29) Wow, you would THINK that this was speed version. I guess it is. 4pm my life STOPS.
30) Hey, Vince Wilfork, no one WANTS to be released from the Pats. You are lying.
31) McHale says that Joakim Noah is defensive POY. I can’t disagree with you, Kevin.
32) The announcer just said that UF’s Scotty Wilbekin is not only the best guard in the nation, but then said “nothing but rim.” He is drunk and just on TV because he knew people.
33) Chris Fowler is a very good pick for announcer of Saturday Night Football.
34) Is Manny Ramirez STILL trying to come back?
35) I am watching the Mazda commercial with Bruce Lee. He truly was the biggest badass of all time. Or maybe Chuck Norris. ONE of the two.
36) Are there enough free agent still out there for the Raiders to spend their remaining money?
37) Lindsey had never heard of the phrase “loaded for bear.” Stephen Colbert is sad at this news.
38) Does Justin Tucker know the Raiders won’t be good any time soon?
39) Life is Beautiful by Sixx AM is one of the best rock songs of all time.
39a) I think I am making this “no link” day. Look them up yourself.
40) Escape Club’s I’ll Be There is also one of the best songs of all time. They are the guys who wrote Wild, Wild West.
41) When I die, please play the above mentioned Escape Club song for Lindsey and Frank Sinatra’s I’m Gonna Live Til I Die. Thanks.
42) I hear that Richard Sherman is in another twitter squabble. That guy is like the really athletic, cornerback version of me.
43) But I went to UVA instead of Stanford.
44) Can I include “listening to side effects on TV drugs” as a hobby?
45) Listen to the Axiron commercial. They say “vomiting” RIGHT when he has a smile on his face while on a beach.
46) I wonder how good of guard Jay Williams would have been had not all that post college stuff happened. I still remember that legendary Maryland comeback. Dirty.
47) I am aware that Mr. Royal is a better writer than me and much more focused.
48) The Lions keeping Brandon Pettigrew is a bigger deal, just not as flashy, as people think.
49) Who is Tyler Austin Black? He is the guy who realizes that getting a tattoo of you team winning it all before it happens means you get your 15 minutes, positive or negative. Cue Andy Warhol.
50) The Bengals have extended Marvin Lewis to make sure “lame duck” isn’t written in the Cincy media all next year.
51) John Daly gets lonely like all of us do sometimes. That is why he shoots a 12 on holes here and there to get in the news.
52) Jonathan Martin says that the Niners are a blank slate. No, it is not. Sorry to break the news to you.
53) La Fondue has the second best undercover happy hour in Denver (Gumbo’s in #1 easily). Go say hello to Alycia, who is our favorite server. Tell her I sent you.
54) If you haven’t seen the Nik Stauskas video shooting in the rain, you should. Damn. No link day. You will find it.
55) Thanks to Lindsey’s dad, who took us out Friday and covered everything. Much appreciated, and now I know you that Bared is a classy, great place. Get the Dark Crown if you don’t like sweet stuff and like bourbon.
56) Could Syracuse be released as a FOUR seed because of their loss the other day to NC State? Wow, they are a 2-3 train wreck.
57) I really, really have no idea of why I like the Mighty Osprey/ Buffalo Wild Wings commercial.
59) I am not sure what I learned more this weekend…whether Iowa State is a final four threat or whether KU will go down in the first round.
60) When the HELL did the wheels come off the Iowa bus? They were top ten ranked and now are in bubble conversations.
61) I would love to comment on whether the Heat might lose again, but this is COLLEGE basketball day. I don’t even care if Hubie is announcing it. But we at least need a picture.
62) I hope Emmanuel Sanders fails miserably for the Broncos. Think of that as a bitter Steelers fan thing.
63) The Ravens picking up Steve Smith is a great pickup, but aren’t they just really replacing the mistake that was letting Boldin go?
64) Thoughts and prayers to Jim Kelly and his fantastic family. Sorry to hear about your new struggles.
65) The A Team was a really cool TV show where no one really died, but does ANYONE trust these days a person driving around a van with no windows?
66) The Julius Peppers signing by the Packers was huge. Dude is not over the hill, and I am trying to figure out what MY ex Super Bowl champion is doing in free agency.
67) Oh, that’s right, we have NO money.
68) That chick skier Shiffrin didn’t stop after the Olympics. She won again. Tiger, she is too young for you. Stay away. Go to Perkins if Lindsey and you are having a bad night. It really never gets old.
69) Russ Smith scored 42 points yesterday. That is a LOT in college.
70) Unless you start thinking about Pete Maravich’s average WITHOUT a three point line.
71) Hakeem Nicks went to the Colts. Note to self that I will probably end up with him as my 5th WR for the 1000th year in a row in fantasy.
72) Lindsey got her birthday gift and liked it. Such a good call. The artist is from Estes Park, very hard to find her stuff, the Artisian Center has it if interested, and those are real butterfly wings by the way
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73) In case you care, I saw a homeless person JOGGING this morning. Seriously, they were jogging.
74) I wish I had Joe Lunardi’s job. I explained to Lindsey that it might be the best job outside of Mel Kiper’s, but I still want it.
75) The propane/ weed is legal commercial is a very, very funny commercial. And not just because I live in CO.
76) I am keeping all losing lottery tickets and going to 7-11 this week and pretending like they are all winners just to irritate the people behind the counter and behind me in line.
77) I am still not ready to talk about the pastor who baptized me, got me going to church again, and then his story was explained in an article in a local article that is literally chilling. Gil, I kept believing, and had no idea how bad you were.
78) Saying Gouda cheese is “goooood” never gets old to me.
79) Thoughts and prayers to Mr. Peverly. That is some scary stuff. Some things are much bigger than hockey.
80) I am glad it was Lindsey’s birthday. I would have watched MUCH more Wright State-Milwaukee type games had this girl not come into my life.
81) The Colts also kept Mr. Davis in house. VERY nice keep.
82) I am now less than a month from joining the YMCA. Candyland/ the greatest thing any boxer or fights has ever seen in their life awaits.
83) I tweeted this and found it funny. Just to make sure no teams thought the Pats were going anywhere, they signed Revis after losing Talib. “We will NOT go quietly into the night.”
84) I report everything and don’t hate soccer. Bayern ousted Arsenal. When is the freaking World Cup?
85) I am blazing through these hooks as we are at 227 and 4pm is coming quickly.
86) Still not sure whether they have ANYONE outside of Mike Wallace at a skill position, but I was moderately impressed with the Fins free agency action.
87) Warren won ACC POY, but we all know who was really POY. It’s ok. It will be our little secret.
88) BYU vs. Gonzaga was fun, but kind of weird not seeing them versus St. Mary’s for like the millionth straight time.
89) Props to the Nets, who signed Jason Collins for the season. His PPG might not support it overall, but there aren’t a lot of seven footers with skills and it is a great move media wise. Plus, you are in the East. Everyone except the Sixers and Bucks are in the mix.
90) I need a flowchart to track Ahmad Bradshaw. Or a GPS tracker. I seem to never know where he is.
91) That 300 followup movie got $45 mil its first week? I loved the first one, but was preparing for a flop sequel. Someone email me whether I need to go to a Saturday morning movie and catch this thing.
92) Because I don’t go to movies at night oddly.
93) I don’t care what breakdown you read, you read it HERE, from a Broncos non liker, that they RAKED in free agency. After the Ware and Talib signings, I got tired explaining to Denver folks who the hell Mr. Ward was. Ugghhh.
94) I truly believe that Andrew Bynum might push the Pacers to the championship. Book it. I just changed my preseason pick. Pacers OVER OKC in six.
95) I loved the Braves signing Ervin Santana. And now you non baseball fans can go Google “Ervin Santana.”
96) Cerk, let me know how I catch that Seinfeld airing on the Tonight Show. I don’t stay up that late OR record anything.
97) Shit, I almost shed a tear. True Detective is done. Damn.
98) I think someone should check in Eric Decker into a mental hospital. I know it is about the dollars, but Peyton Manning to Geno Smith? Really?
99) Lindsey is steadfast in saying that quail eggs are better than real eggs. I am not buying it.
100) Aaron Rodgers complimented the play and lifestyle of Johnny Manziel. Softy. Talk shit about him like the rest of us are.
101) Is someone going to freaking sign Jared Allen? WTF (see, Mom, I abbreviated the cuss word).
102) You read it here. After underachieving for the last ten year, the signing of Josh McCown WILL change that team’s winning. The rest of the pieces ARE in place. Love the call.
103) Hey, Bama, stop poaching other big school’s QB recruits.
104) When Kevin Durant scores 42, he doesn’t even make the wire anymore. We are bored with how good he is evidently.
105) Darren Sproles being put in the Eagles offense is just downright SCARY.
106) I concur with Larry Bird. The fire from players in the 80’s was MUCH more fierce, and the Pacers sometimes go out and just assume they will win. Bird was 40-1 at home in ’86. Don’t tread on HIM.
107) If I am a Lions fan, I like the Golden Tate signing, but I don’t like the number of years. FIVE?
108) You will have fun being the “other” receiver with Stafford throwing to you in a dome. You are a very, very smart man.
109) If the Browns are cutting Brandon Weeden, what does that mean? Should we joke on their drafting, how pathetic they are, or whether they actually THINK they are good at QB?
110) Adam Silver: It’s not tanking, it’s rebuilding. You are so silly.
111) Tell your friends. The Nets are 3-0 against the Heat this season. Weird.
112) I think it would easier to name the states Darren Sharper has NOT been charged in rather the ones he HAS been.
113) I could have told you how the Michigan State and Florida games would have ended. I actually let Lindsey turn it to Snapped before the Madness begins.
114) I raised $1000 for shaving my head. Thanks to everyone who gave. I look good I think.
115) If you made it this far, let me know if you would like a blue and orange or black and gold welcome mat for your home.
116) Unlike, the Newman death hoax, I AM actually out of here. Prepping for the bracket release. I have a tradition of a plain white paper with scribbled brackets since I remember. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.