I will blog when I am go#$%#* good and ready…you got that?

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Evening rant.  Speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Long work day with a longer one tomorrow.  I need to get away from this laptop and watch the football game in peace.  One sentence style.  One sentence only per hook.  Let’s do this.
2. Count me in to tune in Tulsa football games when they are on TV, as they are pulling Baylor’s million miles a minute OC for their coaching vacancy.
3. It amazes me that LeBron has “general soreness” in his knee and it lands on the sixth line of the all sports wire.
4. Maybe it IS a real position, but I am pretty sure 80% of the Hawks hiring a “diversity officer” was for show.
5. Or forsho (isn’t that the hip thing)?
6. Oh yeah…I think like years ago when I was bartending and hanging with younger people who would say it.
7. If the job recruiter and the Warriors are a resume, I hire them.
8. I think if I wasn’t rushing, I could have made that previous hook more eloquent.
9. But stop talking shit about Mark Jackson…
10. With my shitty fantasy team, I somehow am still in the playoffs with very little team maintenance throughout the year…and decided to start Fitzgerald tonight so I didn’t have to live three days sitting him while he scored 20 points.
11. If he doesn’t do anything, then I can just have hope with my other crappy players.
12. Yes, I know #11 was a longer, not grammatically correct sentence.
13. You are not normal if you don’t want to see Dikembe Mutmbo offering some popcorn to royal people.  
14. The term I invented today is “pizza stomach,” and it is basically a hypothetical extra stomach that allows me to eat a full meal, be full, and then find slices of free pizza in the work kitchen and destroy them like I never ate.
15. I hope Huskers Jack Gangwich next attempts a selfie next to an alligator-squirrels are for pansies.
16. I have gotten to the point where I don’t care who the Redskins are starting at QB.
17. If Alvarez wanted to coach again, he could have skipped rigging the Big Ten Championship, scaring Gary Andersen away, and just SAID so.
18. The Red Sox adding those pitchers today was good reaction to not getting Jon Lester, but in the end it may end up just being rebound sex with the closest sitting girl at the bar.
19. Hey, Matt Kemp, San Diego is a very beautiful city and I hope you enjoyed being teased by the playoffs the last couple of years.
20. I really do feel like the Saturday college football games were long enough ago that we don’t need to talk about them tonight…skip FIVE!!!!
21. I recently oddly went to Carmex from useless Cherry Chapstick (my standby) and swear my lips are worse now with the more expensive constructive stuff.
22. I am happy to report there was no availability to start a dance circle at the company party, it was an open bar, and I succeeded in not playing pool and therefore probably winning a lot and talking a little smack to my co-workers…good call.
23. So, Tiger has some playing injuries, some surgeries, some comebacks, Lindsey Vonn has to be carried away in a helicopter for HER injuries, and she has already won a World Cup event?????
24. Cue “pants.”
25. Ronaldo broke another record of some sort in some soccer league…can’t keep track.
26. I admit to hating Manziel, but being VERY curious to see his first game…guilty.
27. I apparently am interested in TWO midgets…Tyrion from GOT and Manziel.  
28. Oh, Geno Smith, you can believe it in your mind and we respect it, but let’s not say into the microphone you are a possible Pro Bowl QB…silly.
29. Hey, guy who I sat next to at the bar watching my Steelers and asked his GIRL where a game on a different TV was being played, it is the bottom team or the team listed last except in MLS and possibly other soccer matches.
30. Hey, bartender, I tended for 14 years and people don’t like it when you order another beer and then you throw out a third of my original beer.
31. I won’t say I was a worldly bartender, but I will take the Top Gun road…I could hold my own.  
32. Lindsey has explained what this Serial thing is, I still don’t get it, but all I know is that if I leave the room to change out my laundry, I come back to her with earphones on.
33. After the company party, we went to 1up which has video games, the guy I was with said he used to play as Sonya, and for the 1,000,000^th time in life, I got run by the only chick on that game.
34. 
35. For the record though, I play Liu Kang.
36. We don’t have enough time or space to talk about Game of Thrones, but let’s just say I saw the epic Red Wedding episode and fell off the couch, and we have moved on to Season 4, Episode 3.
37. Lindsey went to the Nuggets last night and Avs tonight, meaning I am in withdrawal of GOT.
38. The rest of the NFL is presently saying “Shit, it looks like the Seahawks MIGHT be back.”
39. If you are as detailed as I am and read things such as which coach voted for which team in the Coaches poll, you would have seen the idiocy that was Art Briles voting Bama 4^th and Mike Gundy voting Oregon 5^th.
40. Look it up…I am not lying.
41. I just thought this was funny…and I like flow charts.  
42. Damn shame UAB didn’t get a bowl game on their exit stage left finality.
43. I remember reading all of the hobbit books like 5 times each, have seen maybe ten minutes of all of this new hobbit movie stuff, and it sounds like a LOT of effort to get attached to watching those things.
44. I am curious to which good QB Mark Sanchez is impersonating.
45. What do you think my note “B12-GFP” means?
46. I don’t think ANYONE from the Raiders should be calling anyone from the 49ers a “chump” due to recent success, even if there was a tunnel fight.
47. It doesn’t matter that the Pats won late, as winning on the road against a decent team late in the season is a good win.
48. I like the word “tributaries” and create ways to use it in conversation every single day.
49. You get put in a position and less than year later you are the most influential person in sports…nice, Mr. Silver.
50. If I just sent a Xmas card out with a picture of my nipple, would people these days still find it funny.
51. I long and YEARN for Seinfeld to be back on the air…screw that walking out on top shit.  
52. I work with a guy, Marty, who is a Nebraska fan, and I consoled him on his football losses telling him to watch his bball team…and then they lost this week (again) to some Incarnate Word school.
53. Had a feeling Gtown would be the first U to come out in I Can’t Breathe T-Shirts.
54. I bought Lindsey’s Xmas presents ONLINE (not at a mall as I still usually do), and I still find it easier to spend money after a couple cocktails.
55. Since I never drink and drive, this makes more sense all the way around.
56. Taking a taxi to the mall would be silly.
57. I went to the doctor for the first time in like 15 years the other day, and unfortunately for you all I am not dying any time soon of natural causes.
58. Watching the Nuggets on main TV means I get to avoid Scott Hastings for another night.
59. I equate him and Cris Collinsworth for irritation.
60. Thoughts and prayers to Eric Berry…
61. I think Gordon and Cooper should dress in pajamas for the Heisman since they know they won’t be getting on stage.
62. Cruel joke on Twitter that Brett Favre is ready to take his first coaching job at Wisconsin.
63. Wow, that fist bump by the refs in the Broncos game was shady.
64. You heard it here…UK is going down to either UNC or Louisville.
65. If they don’t they have my attention, but those schools have the athletes to hang with them.
66. There is a lot of other baseball action going on, and forgive me, baseball fans, if I skip a lot of them.
67. I loved it at first, but officially am over that Cadillac commercial with the dorky guy walking down the street.
68. See, fans were just as dumb in 1941.  
69. I will be happy about Packers success, but more happy if Aaron Rodgers can throw about seven TD’s this week and next for my fantasy team.
70. Hockey players are the toughest guys in sports, so having ears sewed onto heads is no big deal with them.
71. In case Jay-Z didn’t make enough money, Roc Nation just got its first fight card.
72. I am suddenly rooting for Carolina with the whole car crash thing and Newton not being able to start this week.
73. I would like to thank the Brooklyn Nets for making the NBA trade deadline interesting, as D-Will, Johnson, and Lopez are all apparently on the block.
74. Did the Bears really think they weren’t going to have buyer’s remorse when they got Jeff George II?
75. I feel like the song Push It is suddenly being forced down my throat.
76. Billy Idol is pissed somewhere.
77. It made me smile that Rory McIlroy was found to be “wiping” multiple cell phones during this lawsuit.
78. Yes, the richest athlete in the world caught a Clippers game right AFTER witnessing a murder-suicide.
79. Ten years ago, those Jimmy V college basketball games would have been must watch TV.
80. I would like Magic Johnson for his bi-weekly chime in on something and telling us he hopes the Lakers lose every game.
81. I would like to thank Dennis Rodman for chiming in on how easy the triangle offense really is.
82. I would like to slap anyone who honestly thought the Cavs wouldn’t turn things around.
83. I would like the thanks the NFL for coming out with the “tough policy.”
84. I would like to thank Melo for continuing to shoot and doing dumb things.
85. I would like to thank the Redskins players for fighting in practice.
86. I would like to know who is winning the “internal strife” contest between the Redskins and Knicks.
87. I would like to thank the Phillies for finally trading pretentious but acting as loyal person Jimmy Rollins.
88. FSU quietly landed (another) five star recruit.
89. I don’t think Cutcliffe should go to Michigan.
90. Either don’t send this guy to see kids with video games, or just don’t play him at video games. http://deadspin.com/orlando-scandrick-plays-madden-to-win-even-at-a-childr-1669454031
91. That is it. Must go…and just sit around and watch football.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.