I will give you five F-18’s. You give me ONE Airwolf.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Some people go to Friday happy hour, I blog (I think I just want the feeling of using my laptop for something other than work-crazy stuff).

Let’s turn and burn.

I won’t make it LONG, but on a Friday evening after a long work day, I am not on a time limit.  I am just talking here.  By the way, I hear there is thing called a lunch break, when I planned on doing my blogs.  I don’t know much about those lunch things.  I hear they are pretty cool though.

1)  In this whole debate about whether to take down Paterno’s statue or not, the best evaluation I heard from anyone was from ESPN’s Mike Wilbon.  He made a great point.  The thing IS going to come down one way or the other.  Better to take it away gracefully, then let some of the 45% (per an ESPN poll) get their shot at vandalism.  Either that, or how about move it to the engineering school or something?  One way or the other, it can’t be at the frequently televised front entrance to Beaver Stadium. You all need to heal.

2)  Blake Griffin had surgery and appears to be ok.  In a related story, Los Angeles had a big gust of wind today (the sigh of relief, people.  It takes me a couple hooks to get into my groove.  Cut me a break).  The USA team has replaced Griffin with Anthony Davis.  They get more height and a better shot blocker.  I wouldn’t exactly call this more muscle in a muscle depleted front court though.

3)  The Rockets released former prodigy Luis Scola today.  First of all, someone pick that dude up.  He can ball.  Second, the Rockets can’t tell us more non verbally that they seriously think they can make a serious run at Dwight Howard.  SOMEONE make a run at him.  I was tired of this story about 6 months ago.

4)  Bad record or not, I was glad to see the Phils are about to offer Cole Hamels the serious money he would need to stay.  Good.  It has been quite a few years since my Phils were a “seller” at this time of year.

4a)  I suddenly feel like watching Top Gun.  I am watching the Phils-Rockies in the background while ranting, and everything looks inverted.  The Phils are 37-50 and Cliff Lee is 1-5.  Every freaking thing is inverted.  Anyway, it sickens me to think that the Rockies are having one of their worst seasons since coming into the league, and the Phils have FOUR more wins than them.

5)  Attack of the retreads.  Geez, LA Lakers.  You are trying to pull Elton Brand, Antawn Jamison, AND Jermaine O’Neal?  Well, I guess you are just gambling.  You have to figure ONE of those dudes might see something from yester year in his game.

6)  I haven’t spent a whole lot of time in Kansas, but I grasp the general concept of the state.  That being said, does anyone else chuckle a little when they read the following headline?  “Charges filed in Kansas drug ring.”  It just…sounds odd.

6a)  That is a COMPLIMENT, KU fans.  Take it easy.

7)  My Rant Squad is EXTREMELY quiet over the last few weeks.  So, I have to reach for updates.  Terrell Owens is late on his child support.  Go figure.  Anyway, this actually makes me VERY excited.  Maybe the whole squad is planning a coming out party.  THAT would be fancy.  I am ready, boys (Jennifer Capriati retired, and I haven’t found a fun chick to be on the squad).

8)  Here is a NASCAR update from the Fillerbuster…kind of.  Of course, Weekend at Bernie jokes would make sense, but I will let you make your own joke.  http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/07/woman-watches-nascar-dead-body

9)  Tebow is getting a little heat from masses and other contestants for winning the ESPY for Best Moment.  It pained me when he won it being a Steeler fan, and I laughed at the story, but then I had a momentary revelation.  What the HELL does it mean to win an ESPY anyway?  It means nothing.  It is just an easy way to gather a bunch of athletes in a room to see what they look like out of uniform, a chance to watch a comedian make fun of people who ALL could beat them up, and an easy way for the casual fan to catch all the greatest moments of the year all in one session.

10)  Come on, promotion people.  Get ALL over this one.  Female MMA fighter Ronda Rousey has said she would beat the crap out of Kim Kardashian for being a role model to kids when her fame came from a sex video.  This sounds like a promoted fight to be.  It SHOULD be.  Anyway, I am still sad these days.  I caught the Pamela Anderson video, I caught the Paris Hilton one, but totally missed the boat on THAT video.  I would look it up, but don’t feel like talking to my IT guy Monday about “viruses.”

11)  Way to hold your ground, New Orleans Saints.  Drew Brees got 5 years, and $100 mil, with $60 mil guaranteed.  Why didn’t you just give him that in the FIRST place?  Anyway, do I agree with it?  Not totally, but he has a ring, he just broke a 29 year old record, and most importantly, he was the face of that city AND franchise after Katrina.

12)  I don’t know where YOU want to go someday, but I want to go here:

13)  The US Open is starting their ball boy tryouts in August.  There is a special about it in the new ESPN Mag.  It was educational, but I still can’t look at a ballboy to save my life without thinking of Kramer.

14)  Oops, my bad.  Actually, not really my bad, because it just happened this afternoon.  But, my Lakers hook earlier?  Not accurate totally.  The Mavs just picked up Elton Brand off waivers.  Way to get younger, Dallas.

15)  Ex Saints coach DC Williams says “I will coach again.”  You are damn right you are, bro.  Why don’t you go to Alabama State with Georgia outcast Isaiah Crowell, find some directional school, or go to Hickory and see if THEY have a football team?

16)  Joe Johnson knows how to live on the edge.  Joe Namath predicts a Super Bowl win over a powerhouse, and Joe proclaims that the Nets are the best basketball team in NYC. Bold statement, Joe.  Keep on trucking.  Why don’t you do something someday in the playoffs, and stop talking about contests between TWO teams?

17)  The college football partnership of the Big Ten and Pac 12 (or ten, or whatever the hell it is called these days) is officially off for now.  Might as well call it off.  You KNOW everything is changing in a year and a half, so let’s not make any promises until we figure out what exactly the playoff format looks like.

18)  Mark Appel, the touted Pirates 1st round draft pick, is staying at Stanford for next year.  I have been to the campus.  It is pretty.  But, you have to respect that Appel turns down relative stardom a year after Andrew Luck did the same thing.  Different levels and notoriety, but there is a parallel.

19)  The body issue by ESPN Mag was pretty cool.  It kind of made me wonder about the career path of a photographer again, and it was alright.

20)  When you are a kid, you are not picking TV shows for quality.  However, I want to know THIS.  How come I see reruns on all these channels of ancient shows all the time, and I can’t get a SNIFF of MY two favorite shows as a kid?  Where the hell is MacGyver?  You don’t have room for a little Airwolf?  We HAVE enough channels now, so let’s DO this.  Show them some love.

21a)  This is the most factual statement the Fillerbuster will make ALL year.  I am STILL convinced that Airwolf, invented in the 80’s, could STILL kick the SHIT out of ANYTHING that is in the sky today.  Some people want the Dream Team vs. 2012 USA Team.  I want Airwolf vs. anything in the sky in reality.  It won’t even be close.  I am very serious and VERY passionate about this hook.  Here, enjoy the badass theme music and a highlight reel.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezDIPDVH-IE

22b)  I am just kidding.  I AM curious about the Dream Team vs. 2012.  I still say it would be a spread of 15 points.  Dream Team would crush them.  That being said, of all of this banter going around about it, Larry Bird had the best quip.  He said something to the effect of “they might, but we are all old now.”  Classic.

23)  Usain Bolt might be hurt, and Tyson Gay won again.  Gay is our hope for the USA Team taking the two short sprints down.

24)  I hear Kyrie Irving challenged Kobe Bryant to a one on one game.  Let’s DO it.  I STILL miss going to Mr. Clark’s science class, which was the only classroom with computers at the time in our school, and playing Julius Erving vs. Larry Bird for HOURS.  I mean AFTER class, mom.

25)  I just saw an Orbitz commercial with a comment about a pool boy.  I think that if I was a healthy 16 or 17 year old, and if I didn’t like pizza, I would definitely try that job out.  All you need is ONE good story, right?

26)  Act of Valor was solid.  Graphics, even on my cheap TV, were excellent.  Storyline was solid.  Of course some of the acting was subpar, but I will assume that some of them were those alleged real Seals in the film, so excused and then some.  Check the flick out if you haven’t.  Moving, and action packed.  I felt like repelling down the Statue of Liberty after watching it.

26a)  I wanted to be Seal back in the day.  I didn’t get a chance because of my eyes and the fact that laser surgery wasn’t mainstream back then.  It reminds of a funny story of how I officially beat my extreme fear of heights, which would also have been an obstacle.  I was stationed in Newport, RI.  I found these other two dudes who also wanted to be Seals.  Instead of going to EAT lunch, we decided to go jump off 80 foot cliffs.  I told them how I was still fighting this fear.  They told me to come.  Anyway, the first day, I sat at the top of the cliff for a good 20 minutes while they were jumping off and climbing up.  Then, a couple came and set up camp for a picnic nearby our home base.  They asked me what we were doing there.  Not wanting to be THAT guy, I said that we were cliff diving of course, and immediately jumped off the cliff.  I have not been scared of heights since.  Nice for the expert swimmer who was still the last kid off the high dive.  I think since then I have made up ground and passed most though on doing fun things from high heights.  Moving on.

27)  Have you checked out these NASCAR drivers doing triathlons?  Apparently, there is a little group of them competing in them part time.  I would like to check them out competing.  Why, you ask?  I am just curious to see if all of them breathe to the left during the swim.

28)  (Insert a hook about Lance Armstrong, colleagues getting banned, arbitration…uggghhh)

29)  Ok, that is it.  I am going to go do…something.  Golden Tee sounds good, but I keep getting pissed off at the bar owner for letting “the GT guy” reset the scores.  I have those courses in upkeep mode.  Have you NOT noticed my decreased playing time recently?  Stop resetting them, John.  I am tired.  I will still play, but I will play more if I know there is a chance that I might get to relive the Costanza Frogger episode someday down the line (keeping power, moving locations, and keeping high score).  Going to one of my favorite places tomorrow.  Going to the zoo.  Love the zoo.  Will I find time to blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

29a) I am not lying that since I pasted that Airwolf video into this rant, that I have listened to the song on repeat while completing the rant.