I’m not left-handed either…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock. Airplane rant.  Morning rant before watching football all day.  Normal speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Actually, the plane today.  Writing from high above and having my intern add pics when on the ground again in Denver.  Let’s move, and no telling where I will go today as the USA Today doesn’t make a paper on Sunday.
2. And I fought off being suckered into buying the Friday/ weekend version.
3. JJ, no pops. Had to drive the rental car this morning.  If it counts, I don’t feel very good though.
4. If it also counts, JJ, pops on editing/ adding pics once home.
5. Damn, I love that dude.  I just make daily attempts at being as cool as him and I figure I am on the right path.  
6. I am easy to please overall as a person, and really not sure if there is anything better in life than having a whole row to yourself on a plane. I have my stuff ALL over the place and look like a slob.
7. I am in sales and talk with people all the time, and although some sales people are different, I prefer to do my own thing on the plane.  I might be missing out on meeting someone rich who becomes my best connection ever, but I will take that chance.
8. Rudy sat next to me on the way out. Dude, our shoulders (mostly yours) are too big to be on a two hour flight next to each other.  
9. Wow, the pics I keep stumbling on of that guy…
10. Dot dot dot (inside joke).
11. We…are a tent (inside joke).
12. I will get back on my juvenile horse (inside joke).  
13. Since I refuse to learn my phone, my new thing is writing “smiley face” instead of showing one.
14. I can’t help natural reaction. This chick comes to the back of the plane with her 1 year old and asks if her kid can have the window seat.  I waited to respond for a split second and must have had the saddest look on my face for being removed from the window, as she said never mind as I was getting up to move to the aisle.    Sorry, lady.  But, in hindsight, although I am the type of person who WOULD give you this seat, I am also the kind of person who is glad you and your kid aren’t next to me, and that I have my own row.
15. Maybe other people didn’t sit next to me because they heard the story of the kid hater.  I was about to move.  She just didn’t have patience, and I really, really love window seats.  Sorry.
16. I might talk more about this in a bit, but let’s chat about the US-Mexico match. First of all, when I walked down the hill into lot H, it smelled and felt like I was in the coolest place to be.  The energy was amazing.  It was probably 75-25 Mexican fans, which is embarrassing.  The experience was fantastic, the day was good, and aside from a little uneasiness on the way out because of post game intensity, what a day.
17. The game. The last two goals scored by Mexico were beautiful.  I knew going in they were a more talented team overall, and they looked like it.  Beasley was nowhere.  Dempsey was oddly nowhere.  Bradley was expectedly everywhere.  I was not sad we lost overall, because I thought we got outplayed and they deserved to win.  I WILL say that when they tied it up late I thought the night was going to be incredible.  Didn’t happen.  That last El Tri goal was not a gimme, maybe a 20% shot overall, but it worked.  When they put three guys up front against our back line, I don’t think we really looked in sync after.  Great move by them.  
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22. Why does Southwest give you pretzels and peanuts like 30 minutes before you get your drink?
23. Why did it take me this long to figure out to NOT eat the pretzels until later?  
24. Why do planes at Burbank load from the front and rear? Freaked me out.
25. After the debacle that was Denver Airport security on Thursday, I am showing up 45 minutes early on my next trip and knocking out this TSA pre check thing. I fly too much to just be another person in line.
26. Why does the captain always say we are ahead of schedule when I know that we will end up there on time or later?  Don’t tease me.  Just surprise me pleasantly.  Not like I can tell my pickup DURING the flight I will be early.
27. That joke made more sense before there was WIFI on planes.
28. I consoled Lindsey during the Texas-OU game. I honestly thought OU would not walk into that trap with a subpar Texas team, and even remained confident when they went down 14-0.  All that being said, now my TCU-OU game in Norman is more about experiencing an OU game in Norman as opposed to being with my lady during a championship run.  
29. I don’t have to dress up during the game I assume like I did at UVA, right?
30. The captain just told us that you can see the Vegas strip from the other side of the airplane. Now that I sell to casinos, the last thing I care about is seeing the Vegas strip.  
31. Well, probably also because my lady and I went over it close quarters in a helo.
32. There is a part of me hoping Cal Ripken takes the managerial position with the Nats. There is another part of me that wants Ripken…just to stay Ripken.
33. Koko was evidently all about soccer yesterday-very focused.
34. Kind of frustrating.  I pick his nickname, Koko, and everyone keeps spelling it wrong.  It is KOKO, people.
35. Dude is pretty awesome though-hard worker, to the point, and level of sarcasm is high, which I of course like.  
36. He doesn’t read this.
37. Nick.  Wish I could hang with you more.  But, great to hang with you during the match this weekend.  
38. He doesn’t read this.
39. Dan-great hanging out with a guy I never get to see at work anymore. I should have been in Rio with you at the last World Cup.    See you in Russia, bro.  Hell of a dude and LOVES soccer.    
40. What an official looking pic THAT is.
41. He doesn’t read this.
42. Zofie, good times on Saturday.  Rudy is fine-no hurt foot.  Just messin… Love that guy though, and I still owe him a happy hour beers at some point.
43. He doesn’t read this.  
44. Look at your HAIR in that pic.
45. Spent a lot of time with Rudy this weekend. Dude is easy going, down with whatever, never riled up, likes to drink whiskey like me, and one of the coolest cats out there.  
46. Rudy must have just gotten done watching Karate Kid and prepping to sing a Nirvana song.  Oh, the 90’s.
47. He doesn’t read this unless he hears there are prizes.
48. I have a new game.   First three questions Ralph will ask you the next day.  He nailed the first one in the first 3 seconds of seeing him at the game.  The other two went by the wayside  but we know he was thinking them.  Did you get your ID back?  Did you actually bring Fig Newtons?  Do you guys really only have one room?  Answers, Ralph (who never reads this), are I never lost my ID, no fig newtons and just thought it sounded funny at the time, and we always had two rooms.  Just PLAYING…  
49. And although I only talked to her for 20 seconds, finally meeting your girl, Ralph, after a YEAR was good and very overdue.
50. He doesn’t read this.
51. I think there was confusion on whether it was a guys weekend or not, as Ralph not only brought his girl along but got a bed and breakfast room.
52. Two other guys stayed at Koko’s parents place.
53. I missed all of these memos,, so I just booked a room at the Vagabond Inn.  
54. Rudy joined me, we had fun, but I usually have fun regardless.
55. You can put me in a room with no windows or doors for a week, and I will find a way to have fun.
56. Ah don cahr.
57. I watched the end of the Nebraska game with Rudy before we went to the soccer match. They lost in MORE heartbreaking fashion.  If you didn’t catch it, Wisconsin misses a field goal to take the lead and leaves 1:24 thereabouts on the clock.  Nebraska runs three plays that get stopped by a TO immediately.  Wisconsin gets the ball back and drives down the field with no timeouts for a 48 yard FG to win it.  Pain.  Ful.
58. Now that I am friends with a Nebraska fan, I kind of pull for them, but heartily chuckle of course if something bad happens also. Both sides of the fence covered.
59. I would like to thanks the Steelers for accommodating my schedule this week. I am on a plane and will miss the first hour of games.  They play on MNF this week.
60. Don’t you hate when you change your password and it is something you truly can’t type in very fast, and know you will never be able to?
61. Devonta Freeman was a nice call for both of my fantasy leagues for the 13th time.  
62. 19 points and the game isn’t done yet.
63. I am winning again on Draft Kings.  How much do I need to win before the commercial company calls me.  As I have said before, I want to be THIS guy.  
64. I love technology, but feel it is taking the smart guys a little long overall in eliminating the whole take off and landing part of air travel and just come out with a very large hovercraft.
65. Not going to be the theme, but how are we not in hovercrafts and how has no one invented a helo as badass as Airwolf?  
66. Mom, I like Mark, but if we had to do it again, I would have liked to have been Stringfellow.  
67. PLEASE, please stop the Lincoln-Matthew commercials. Straight flush with jazz in the background?  I think not.  The only one I can tolerate is the bull one.  
68. Putting “cheese curds,” “bacon,” and “burger” together in a description, Buffalo Wild Wings.  
69. The only thing scarier than Baylor is Baylor with FINALLY a defense.
70. Ohio State is winning, but any thinkings that they will go down in best team history are officially OUT the window.
71. TCU seems to have the Ohio State disease, or vice versa.  Winning, but not really convincing anyone.
72. When the Cubs lose to the Cards, I get the feeling we will start comparing the Cards with the NFL Pats…don’t hate them, always good, and they just get it done with no personality.  
73. I am rooting for the Mets. Take DOWN the team that pays for a championship.
74. But I kind of like Kershaw too.  Never mind.  I will root for both of you.
75. I still can’t believe my girl met John Salley and didn’t get an autograph.  
76. 538 just did an article on the most “rewatchable” movies of all time. They took a readers poll.  The list is BS.  Aside from a couple movies, it basically is listing the “best” movies.  Listen, people, maybe it is just me, but a great movie is different from a rewatchable movie.    Rounders is #9 on my best movie list ever.  It is #3 on my rewatchable list.  Usual Suspects is #1 on my best movie list.  It is #24 on my rewatchable list.  Top Gun is #2 on my rewatchable list and #16 on my best movie list.  Two different animals.  
77. Princess Bride is the exception. #2 on my best movie list and #1 on my rewatchable list.  
78. Maybe we can joke about not being left handed and other things when I come out to visit you later this year or early next.
79. Lindsey and I are doing the add 1 box thing again this year ($1 first week, $52 the last week), and I know we are nearing the end of the year as I put $41 in the box today.
80. Think of it this way, and this was my favorite bartending question relating to movies.  Take away the quality factor, and pretend you are stranded on a deserted island with a working DVD player oddly.  What movie can you watch OVER and OVER?
81. Watch Princess Bride already, Mom. You are missing out.
82. Typically, I don’t talk to people who have never seen that movie (and loved it), but you are my mom, so it is cool.
83. Leonard Fournette is really, really good, Dude, can you not break Barry Sanders’s season record though?  Slow DOWN.  
84. Never been a better one, and I dare you to try and argue that point against me.  I will buy the drinks.
85. When looking aimlessly through the record books on rushing yesterday, I came across this nugget. Guess what the record is for most yards per carry for a game?
86. Minimum of 10 carries.
87. I won’t judge you.  I missed it by a mile, so why shouldn’t you?
88. Kevin Lowe, Wyoming, 30.2.
89. 30.2 YPC. That is sick.
90. Mom, can I say sick since you have outlawed “dope?”
91. Most number of 100 yard games?  DeAngelo Williams.  Never would have gotten that one either.
92. I remember the first week of the season when I thought Georgia Tech was a sleeper playoff team.
93. I remember when I not only took Oregon as a playoff pick, but then changed it to USC, which also didn’t work out.
94. I remember when I told you that Georgia would be better than sliced bread. What the HELL happened against UT, Billy?
95. I remember when I told you the Sooners would be a cinch for the playoffs.
96. I remember when I told you that Baylor would lose 1 or 2 games.
97. Rudy was busy at the time, so I went and took some pics…didn’t realize I was on the street with the stars. Actually, these were the only two names I knew.  
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99. One more Rudy pic.  It doesn’t look like it, but he asked me to take this pic.  
100. My cat has stomatitis, and I have already told you that. Here is Jackson/ TyRIon.  
101. Long story about the two names, but I will summarize it by saying he was supposed to be a midget cat, I am a GOT superfan, I named him after Tyrion, I never told Rudy and Ralph that I changed his name, and here we are…  
102. Not sure how this got into my phone at all, but it is, and this was me in the late 90’s posing before a show where we were bet that we didn’t have the guts to strip at the male review thing that occurred at our bar on a weekly basis.  I have no fear of anything except for green vegetables.  
103. And don’t dare me to do stuff…
104. Let’s see if I can figure out how to load on here the mechanical bull video where I introduced everyone to the “hug bull” concept.
105. I don’t know how to download videos on this thing yet.  I think I need an Instagram account to get it anyway.  It was funny though.  Trust me.
106. I hope my Draft Kings teams do ok. I was a little loopy when picking them, but have 3 teams out there regardless.
107. I just want to live the rest of my life where I have a balance on Draft Kings and therefore never have to put my CC# in there again. Two weeks and counting, with about $20 overhead.
108. Both my fantasy teams are 3-1, but this is the NO AP week because of the Minnesota bye.
109. Once again, that Utah loss that myself and all of you were laughing about after the first week is looking freaking GOOD right about now, Michigan.
110. Utah beat a pretty damn good Cal team yesterday. Cal has a kid playing QB who might go as the first QB in the NFL draft next year.
111. Besides being outlandishly happy about having a full row to myself, I was MORE outlandishly happy about picking up my first college basketball preview. The over/ under on how long it will take me to read it is about 749 hours.
112. I put it on my list, and not sure why I am telling you, but I write everything on my blog list.  It says I need to get an Instagram account.
113. Oh, right.  That was because of the mechanical bull video.  Got it.
114. He might be #5 on my man crush list, but yes, Chase Utley’s slide was dangerous, rude, and dirty.
115. Not good dirty. Bad dirty.
116. I knew the Saints were in dire straits, but didn’t know Sean Payton was on the market. Said before I got on this plane that the Dolphins were checking him out.  Are we organizing one of those weird coach trades?
117. I know he is back from suspension now and a very good player, but did sports stations nationally bet each other on who could write the most Greg Hardy articles? Stop the noise.
118. Djokovic beat Nadal this weekend in a tournament not many of us care about. I try not and think about the Australian Open, as that would rush the holidays.  Slow DOWN, time.
119. When I get home, I will officially start figuring out how to get on the show Drunk History.  
120. In case you care, ACC basketball is back this year officially for whoever thinks it went anywhere. Think about THIS, Jack Handy.  I could tell you my Final Four is Duke, North Carolina, Maryland, and Virginia, and not one basketball expert in the world would say any of those teams do NOT belong in the conversation.
121. I am in the back row of a two hour flight, and THIS is the flight that they won’t offer me more Coke Zero?
122. Rules are changing this year in college basketball. 30 second shot clock.  About time (no pun intended).  Restricted area goes to 4 feet.  Fine with that also.  4 TO’s.    No 5 second defensive rule.  Don’t get it.  Keep that rule.
123. Writing this thing during flights makes time FLY. Can’t believe we are about to hit our descent.
124. The rest of the team won’t support a Final Four run, but watch that kid, Ben Simmons. Classy, smart, and very, very good.  
125. One final note. Rudy, if you text me the word “Charles” between 7 and 9am tomorrow morning, I will buy you a vending machine soda in our fancy new office.
126. See?  There is a modest prize.  $1.30 worth.
127. Descent started and apparently they are cleaning up the cabin early (why?). I will not let a stone take my glory.  Wrapping this up.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.