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Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock today.  Broken up bits because of two short flights.  Forgive any wrong spelling or stats.  I write airplane rants without any access to internet, so it is what it is for exactness.  I am merely expanding on the couple word thoughts from the single yellow legal paper I carry around religiously.

Let’s turn and burn.

1)       I took another look at the AP poll this weekend.  The SEC has 5 of the first 10 spots occupied.  If you are rooting against an SEC winning again this year, have issues with USC and Oklahoma, and don’t believe a team like Georgia, Clemson, or Florida State can make it officially “back,” then there are really slim pickings of who you should pull for.  I personally am all over the USC bandwagon as you know.  Concerning the SEC, it is like Steve Spurrier recently said.  It might be harder to win the SEC than the national championship.

2)      What the HELL is he thinking, or is he just broke from paying all those lawyers for the last two or so years?  Roger Clemens.  Yes, THAT Roger Clemens.  Not one of his K-named kids.  He has actually signed on to pitch for an independent baseball team…the Sugar Land Skeeters.  Dude, you won your court case.  Now go spend quality with your kids, and fade away until you keep getting nixed on Hall of Fame voting.  If you all care, I believe Clemens is already starting a game for them this coming weekend.  I am sure not THAT much stuff could come up googling “sugar land skeeters clemens.”

3)      DeSean Jackson has declared he wasn’t “giving his all” last year.  What he is trying to accomplish by this public statement is beyond me.  Well.  I guess you are going to blow some receiving records away, right?  Is that it now that you are TOTALLY unleashing yourself?  Dude, I am sorry you don’t play every down like it is your last EVERY TIME, way to put people not in your corner,  this is a Randy Moss statement without you having all of his badass stats already, and stop talking and just SHOW us.

4)      Sergio Garcia won the latest PGA Tour Event today after suspended play.  You might call it a win.  I call it a NMSBIDWYTFAM (No majors still, but I didn’t want you to forget about me).  What can I say?  I really like acronyms.  He wins JUST enough and is JUST enough Majors top 5’s to keep us on our toes.  Then, we remember he was supposed to have like 6 by now after watching him skip to the hole at the PGA Championship.

5)      Ex-Saint Steve Gleason has come out and said that Gregg Williams crossed the line in the locker room regarding the bounty stuff.  If Steve says so, then I believe it.  Steve is fighting Parkinson’s and has no gain in anything he says, so this isn’t slinging mud.

6)      All KINDS of youngsters going to the front of the line in the NFL.  Ryan Tannehill has been officially named the starter for Miami, the Titans are strongly considering Jake Locker to start, Andrew Luck’s name was etched in stone the minute he was drafted, Blaine Gabbert was already starting, and everywhere defenses are salivating.  The learning curve in the NFL exists for a reason.  Very few young QB’s can come out like Cam Newton did last year, and his team STILL lost a lot of games.  I think this is a year where it is more obvious than usual which teams are good and which teams are not, and I think a lot of these QB’s will have a tough time.

7)      Shawne Merriman was released from the Bills today.  Besides all of the “lights out” shenanigans, he had an odd career.  I am really good, I get banned from some games, then my team falls down a couple times in the playoffs, some injuries, my team lets me go, a bad team picks me up, and now THEY don’t want me.  I don’t think the lights are coming on anytime soon, but SOMEONE will pick him up as a possible back up.  Seriously.  How did he get so bad SO quickly?

8)      Why are the Cleveland Spiders in the news?  I will tell you.  No one SINCE the Cleveland Spiders from 1899 has had a worse 38 game stretch than the Houston Astros.  4 up, and 34 down.  That is frighteningly bad.  I just read an article about their management and ownership.  They have an overhaul plan AND they like it.  They better, and they are sure swinging for the fences on WHERE this positive uprising STARTS from.  Oh, and they fired their manager also this weekend.

9)      Is anyone else as excited as I am for the Michigan/ Alabama game in the first weekend?  Whether Michigan is fully back or not, it is fun to see two traditional football powers who never usually get on each other’s schedule play each other EARLY.  I like it, I will be watching, and I won’t even know who I am pulling for until kickoff.  Either team can lose and it won’t be totally the end of the world, but you also don’t want to play a whole season knowing you either need some help from other teams and/ or will be debated about for years as controversial somethings.

10)   Do you people know that even with his 50 game HGH ban, that Melky Cabrera could still win the batting title as he qualifies in number of AB’s?  MLB.  Don’t wait for an official ruling, don’t overthink it, and just take him off the damn leaders list before this becomes a circus/ debate.  Do it now.  PLUS, dude was raking at a .346 clip.  That is pretty much 40-50% chance that that ends up as the highest judging from past years.  Nice job, by the way, Melky.  Less than a week after getting banned, the dude was busted with a fake website with a fake product that made him test positive.  Insert the knife/ drawer cliché here______________.

11)   Not that we care THAT much about exhibition games with unknown contestants in China, but if YOU do, then you will be interested to know that Kobe Bryant last night scored 68 points in 15 minutes allegedly.  Whatever.  Moving on.

12)   In their second year of stealing a QB from an ACC school, Wisconsin will start Danny O’Brien, who was at University of Maryland previously.   Last year, they had former ACC guy Russell Wilson, who became a fun guy to watch and made them the talk of the town for a good 5 weeks.  Anyway, O’Brien is more of a traditional passer.  With that huge o-line they have as usual, and Montee Ball about to make HIS Heisman resume, I think O’Brien will fit in fine and have the time and reps to slowly get better with that running game and o-line protecting him.  I like their squad.  Not as much as I did last year, but I still like them.

13)   I am irritated enough with recaps of glorified practices/ preseason NFL games, but I was kind of over watching TV guys break down how Andrew Luck did against the Steelers last night.  Do you really think Dick LeBeau is showing HIS cards in these games?  I think not.

14)   I had a 550am flight on a SUNDAY.  It was FULL.  I don’t know what goes on in Dallas on Sundays when there is no football, but evidently there are other people who don’t mind that wake up call.

15)   I am not sure, but I don’t think that the New York Jets have a touchdown (at all) in this preseason so far.  They either are struggling, or they read my blog, and are taking my “it is just practice” to a whole other level.  It must be the latter.  Keep on reading, and don’t worry about your “practice” performances (geez, Jets, they are a LITTLE important than I joke about if you ARE indeed laying low).

16)   Julius Peppers confirmed something about his transcript and people then wrote he confirmed it.  I don’t know what the heck is going on with this, so I will just keep on trucking into things I care about.

17)   The Red Sox will evidently back Carl Crawford if he decides for surgery.  Sure, they will.  Between his subpar results when he IS healthy, or his various injuries, they meant they will hit him IN the back of the head if he decides for surgery.  That town is SO over him, and that large contract they gave him is just a big ball and chain.

18)   I hear LeBron will play in 4 years again at the Olympics.  Dude gets one title, and now he is telling us what he is doing in 4 years and thinking we care right now.  With the Lakers entering the top flight team class, you are going to have your work cut out for you defending that title.  Know this.  Go practice.

19)   The airport in Houston has the largest, least used hallways I have ever seen.  You are following signs to a terminal, after just getting off the main train to all gates, and suddenly you are just walking down a huge hallway with three chairs, no people, some plants, and huge windows.  Weird.  If you cut down on that hallway space, you might have room for more than one Frontier gate.

20)   Is it me, or does Ichiro Suzuki look pretty freaking happy in the Bronx these days?  If they can get their pitching healthy, he just might be the catalyst that helps them take down the Rangers, ChiSox, Tigers, or whoever.  Maybe the Angels will remember how much money they are paying players-actually that would be the other way around I guess.

21)   It might be a couple bucks, and maybe it is just something I personally love, but I firmly believe that 30 minutes of jet-skiing a new port, bay, etc. is worth EVERY penny.  I never feel the need to up it to the hour time-wise, but 30 minutes is simply incredible.  Cruising around the inner bay part of Corpus Christi was awesome.  One side was smooth for optimum speed (72-74 mph), and the part more towards the USS Lexington was rough for getting all kinds of air.  AND I didn’t wear my hat this time.  I couldn’t deal with losing my fifth hat in 21 years in the bay.  My fourth one was accidentally buried in the Atlantic Ocean on my last jet ski trip in Miami.  As far as both smooth speed and rough air time, and as Van Halen would say, I got the best of both worlds.  Side note, it has been 26 years since VH released that album (5150), and I STILL would say that it is my favorite CD (tape back then) to listen to…ever.  It is quality, makes me happy, has killer songs on it, and Dreams SHOULD have been our graduation song instead of that silly bicentennial crap (I love you Mr. Futer (I THINK that was your name), but come on).  Anyway, it was SO good, that a fraternity brother named Hunter and I decided it was the best CD ever released by man when we were hanging at Myrtle Beach after exams.  I stand by it in my personal liking, but obviously not quality.  Final side note.  Mom, thanks for allowing me to buy my first tape with my allowance money of a baby smoking a cigarette.  I STILL love them, and know that you could have drawn the line.  You are the bomb, mom.

22)   There was an MMA fight for females.  The match was done in the 54 seconds of the first round?  There is either a big drop off of talent in the hopeful sport, or this Rousey chick must be ferocious.

23)   The Red Sox and Yankees went at it this weekend.  With the Red Sox not even in the hunt at this point and kind of the butt of a lot of jokes, I really can’t say I tuned in for more than a few minutes here and there.

24)   And just when you thought it was safe to go on the tennis court.  Here we thought that Roger Federer would just ride off into the sunset already being considered possibly the best ever.  Nope.  Federer took down Djokovic yesterday in Cincy.  Sure, it was great to see the guy win, and put some real doubts in Djokovic’s head about where his game is at.  But 6-0 in the first set?  Djokovic didn’t swing a GAME?  That is just craziness.  With Nadal fighting injuries/ just waiting for the next French Open to come around, Djokovic getting blanked, and Andy Murray evidently being content with being the fourth best tennis player in the world for his time on this planet, I could see Roger winning another 3 or so titles.  We will see.  I still think people better keep their eyes on Jo-Wilfried Tsonga for next year.  I LOVE his game.

25)   Greg Biffle wins a race and then apparently has taken over points lead in the Race.  And I hear that the guy who is Jeff Gordon’s teammate (I forget which racer it is) wanted to run him into the wall, but then didn’t. That would be your NASCAR update, readers.  Moving on.

26)   Giants Jason Pierre-Paul throws Prince Amukamara into an ice tub, they put it on social media, and now everyone is dissecting everything about it.  Listen, it shouldn’t be put on there, and it wasn’t over the top except for language, but it IS in Tom Coughlin’s locker room.  We all complain about Coughlin, say he is a disciplinarian, say that he will be fired, and then he wins a Super Bowl.  Have your fun, guys, as you have earned it, but don’t put it out to the public on Tom’s watch.  I think he has earned your respect, and if he changes TOO much in his style and is too fun loving, then he wouldn’t be Tom Coughlin  and you might lose your edge.

27)   Congrats to Jon Jones to becoming the first MMA fighter to clinch a Nike sponsorship (it is rumored but not official).  I am a believer after the Evans fight, the sport is going places, and you are a large part of that.  From what I hear, that company Nike is pretty successful.  I am pretty sure they did their due diligence on picking you up.

28)   Whenever I am at a coastal city, I HAVE to get seafood of some sort.  Denver has a couple places where it is ok, but it just tastes SO much better and different if I know that there is a bay or ocean a block or two away.  If you make it down to Corpus, I recommend the Executive Surf Club.  The Executive part is kind of a joke from what I gather as it is pretty laid back as I had requested from my hotel doorman, but great seafood nonetheless.

29)   Congrats to the Charlotte Hornets head coach Monty Williams, who just got signed to a 4 year extension.  That guy has a good gig.  He gets a built-in excuse for some initial losing since they just lost Chris Paul, and he now has Anthony Davis and Austin Rivers just drafted and added to a pretty talented and young core.  I like that team in a few years.

30)   Venus hurts her back playing Li Na this weekend.  Venus, please take a little time off after the Open.  I would like to see one more run out of you in the next year before you call it a day, and playing hurt or tired sure isn’t helping.

31)   Did I see that Bruce Chen is 12-7 this year?  I don’t recall you putting those numbers up for the Phils a couple years ago, Bruce.

32)   I am flying Frontier.  Although I don’t care because I needed to do my blind blog anyway, it feels weird being in a Frontier jet without TV as an option.  I guess I am in a really OLD jet, or one of the newer bottom line ones.

33)   Check out Josh Beckett’s MLB rankings in the big four pitching stat categories.  124th, 172nd, 57th, and 73rd.  No, I don’t have written down on my legal paper what order the big four were in.  And this is blind.  So, the hook IS that he pretty much sucks this year in most major categories.

34)   Overall, I will describe Corpus Christi as this.  The skyline is beautiful, all five buildings of it, and then there is pretty much nothing else in the actual city part outside of those five buildings.  The boat docks are really cool, and the jet-ski rental was actually across the street from my hotel.  Driving Ocean Drive was nice, as the beach houses there are just different.  They were very unique, and the bigger ones had a style that made it look like a classy hotel or apartments at first glance, but the Big Wheel and the one car in the driveway told me otherwise.  Padre Island was ok , too.  It was the Gulf, a big body of water, and therefore going to be fun for me to swim in regardless.  I wish I had another day or two on the trip to go check out South Padre, evidently an hour or two south on the island.  I think my mini tour was perfect.  Padre, jet ski, a fish sandwich, and a walk on the docks.

35)   That it is.  Short flight again.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro, as always…but it is the day back from being out of work, meaning it will be beyond hectic.  Anyway, I hope you enjoyed.  Peace.  So…come to think of it, and I know it is my tag line, but given that information, I guess it is NOT such a clown question.  Whatever.  Let it ride.