Need to Blog…

July 19, 2015 Filler

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock. Not an airplane rant. Afternoon rant. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.

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Greetings and salutations, people. HAS to be a speed rant today. I barely have enough time to work, sleep, and eat, let alone have a 3 hour rant today. One sentence hooks. Quiz questions involved. I feel the need…the need for speed.
Background is chosen. Unforgiven…until Rocky IV comes on.
What a badass-but have to post this photo because he was a badass also.
NOW one sentence hooks.
JJ…pops.
JJ never reads this anymore, so this is pretty much yelling into a canyon, but he is one of the best sales people, best people, and badass people I know, and this is probably the THIRD time I have said that.
Lindsey is at Trainwreck, and was very understanding that this is blog time and that I am ballparking I can wait for it to come on video.
She is not any Halle Berry, but…nevermind.
I forgot how many badasses were in this Unforgiven movie.
Today would be a good day but I lost the last game of bucket beer pong after winning four straight and I sincerely hate losing…at anything.
Anything…I will race you to the bus stop right now.
So, front and center, and probably will be talked about many times over the next few month is this (multiple sentences spread out, but this is important).
Lindsey and I went to the Cirque show last night-there were two good looking dudes on a high wire act, I said “ I feel like going to the gym tonight,” she said “you can never look like that,” I know I HAVE looked like that when training to be a SEAL, I was offended, and I plan on making a story about this.
I used to be a machine, and I will be again.
Thanks, babe.
I am going to bleach my hair and grow my soul patch back to…don’t tell her though.
Why do I keep forgetting to bring a Frisbee to the most Frisbee/ park/ beach events?
I love playing Frisbee.
Not as much as Ponto does though.
#.5 Question for a person who doesn’t read this blog: Ponto, What year did your hometown school win the NCAA basketball championship ($3)?
Losing or forgetting my blog list is one of the most depressing outings I ever partake in.
If you go to P-17 in Uptown, don’t get sucked into the benedict-go with the One Eyed Franklin or the Croque.
Can someone alert me when Dempsey and Bradley are old and retire, because we are going to SUCK at soccer even more after they exit stage left.
Dammit-on editing, I found Titans, and you will get that joke later in this blog, but I moved on, and now am on Diehard II-maturity.
Kershaw barely makes the ASG and then throws 14 K’s…remember that I am already in shotgun position on THAT bandwagon.
Speaking of badasses…
I was happy with Lindsey going to see Trainwreck, but it was sold out, they are now going to Ted II, and I am pissed now.
I would not be writing this if I knew she was going to see my #3 man crush.
That is one good looking dude.
Damon, Justin Timberlake have the top two slots.
Comfortable in my skin, folks.
I didn’t watch the Favre induction ceremony, but believe every word of teammates saying he was one of the fiercest competitors to every play the game.
I am kind of like him, without the Hall of Fame and success.
#1 question for someone I hang out with but doesn’t read this blog: John, what is the primary objective of Jackson (our cat) each day ($5).
He looks regal, has some gray hair, and looks really good.
I love how the British Open says it is just “The Open” and proclaims the winner of it is the golfer of the year.
NOT sarcastic.
My buddy, Cerk, has NOT been to a cirque show.
I find that odd.
#2 question for someone who doesn’t read this blog: Cerk, what is the game I would like you to hang out with me and play ($5)?
Do you realize watching a Major might be in my top 5 things to do on this earth?
Do you realize I will be taking a long lunch tomorrow?
Do you realize the “new course” at St. Andrews is twice as old as any United States course?
Do you realize that the one thing I noticed about the Pan Am Games is that although we didn’t send our studs, we lost to BRAZIL in the men’s 4×100 relay?
Do you realize that I will swim anywhere off a coast until I get bit by a shark, because it would be a dope way to die?
Do you realize that I am on a hot streak with people saying “you look like…” and that THESE are the people they are saying I resemble?
I will take the Eric Dane one.
I packed a MacGyver bag for camping before Blake Shelton, and someone DID ask if anyone had any duct tape?
Yay-HAD it.
When I die tomorrow or 50 years from now, PLEASE make sure prosciutto and Havarti is served as the appetizer.
Please remind me to go to the store and get corn on the cob before it closes (on eiditng, I forgot-dammit).
Jersey corn was SOOOO much better.
I love corn on the cob, but I throw up when eating corn on its own.
I also hate wine but love grape juice.
Pause-final scene of Unforgiven.
I can’t believe my colleague, Bryan had Bowditch and Hideki on his team.
#3 question for someone who doesn’t read this blog: Bryan, what is the site that I am scared that I joined ($5)?
Yes, I am hooked now on Draft Kings.
Bryan is too aloof about his sports knowledge to read my blog.
$5 saved.
Chris and Ryan, you were an absolute PLEASURE to hang out with during Blake Shelton…tough to find really, really good people. (pics coming at end)
It is amazing I am a really good person but have no friends…
We have decided to go to Waterworld (my favorite place on earth) on Labor Day weekend…yay.
Been a while, but Pat’s STILL has #3 Jager’s.
Yay.
Always a good time as long as you stay away from the Eagles fans.
Seriously, when was the last time you had a good experience with an Eagles fan?
But loved Harold…
That is why I crossed the line.
How I missed the fact that Panic played in a mountain town I haven’t been to (Telluride) is beyond me, but I have a plan to get my time back.
Bachelor party ideas, Scott: Water (beach), Panic February 2-6 in Cancun, camping on a mountain in CO, March Madness, more to come.
I don’t give a shit-I am still trying to find enough people to make me feel like I am HAVING a bachelor party.
Not well liked, people.
I have Scott, Scott, and…
Me and Scott is actually perfect.
Cerk is cool, but can’t even come 3 miles over to play chess on my dime in TWO years and FIVE years of friendship-weak.
Kyle has a kid, so he is in and out of touch.
Vince is cool, but…actually he is IN.
Ben would be money, but haven’t heard from him in a while.
Katz would be awesome, but after he moved and married someone who drew shame to the “outkicked your coverage” thing, I haven’t talked to him in years.
I have no idea where my pledge brothers are, and Jeff is always aloof when I reach out.
Lee is UVA and local and the only person who knows why I got kicked out of the Navy, but he is a ghost who lives 10 blocks away.
Brian and Mike were my high school guys, but I think Brian got bald and distant and I know Mike’s wife more than him during March Madness.
Rob is OK, but very moody, judgemental, and chicky.
Justin was good, but I don’t want to disturb his comeback, and I taught that guy EVERYTHING I knew about bartending.
…which was a LOT.
Chris-Dbag.
Roger-Dbag.
Marty-IN.
Rob-would overthink everything about the bachelor party.
Amit-he couldn’t even meet me at a park today with a 2 hour window.
My brother-bad info can ruin a revived friendship.
John-my fiancee’s brother from another mother—IN.
Mikey-invited.
Will-gray area
Logan-maybe in because I feel like he is as cool as I hope to be someday.
Don’t worry-most of these people don’t read this blog, and if they do, they definitely will be paying more attention now that they know 300 people know all of this stuff.
I will get back to the invitees-let’s keep cruising through this list.
The World Horseshoe Tourney is going on, and feel free to email me to challenge me at that also, as I would beat your ass, and some of my best times in life were playing horseshoes and fishing with my dad.
Dad doesn’t read this, so hopefully he knows how much I love him or maybe my mom will tell him.
I have won about 300 games of horseshoes because of him, and probably am good for another 500 or so.
Not lying-I am a badass and feel free to call me to play.
Fishing-my dad gets offended when you say “fisherman.”
He is an ANGLER.
The Rousey-Mayweather thing is really, really funny, and LOVE her more for waiting as long as she did to bust his balls.
Mentioned, so let’s bust out the photo I love.
You DID know who she was, Money.
I have been waiting all day for someone from FSU to do something stupid, but I am tired.
Maybe tomorrow.
I never wish ill will on anyone, but I think I am breaking the rules for Ty Lawson.
Not a bad week-MVP of ASG and walkoff against Boston.
Watch the Watson stroll at the British and tell me it isn’t moving.
And if it doesn’t , stop reading this right now.
Open numbered hook…just keep thinking about Tom Watson.
Stop reading.
Golf is badass, and we can’t talk anymore if you disagree.
Hopefully, that cut out some people.
I hung out with Lindsey’s gay friends today, and they seriously have the best time of all of us.
Happy Birthday, Mikey, and he DEFINITELY doesn’t read this.
But, I thank him, because I made up ground after being a dumbass when I first started dating my fiancee…think I just got over the hump and he now likes me, which is important to me.
Love the view from Cheeseman Park in Denver.
What the HELL was going on with the long interviews after a round at the British?
I missed 1.5 holes from my boy, Jason Day, alone DURING the interviews.
I am not sure what the bike race was that was going on last night, but I at least know the winner didn’t have a bar tab.
If anyone would like to take in 9 holes this week after 5pm, let me know…I need to get out there and hack up a course.
If anyone hates Jason Day, stop reading.
Or Rickie Fowler.
Coffee sounds horrible, but iced coffee just makes me throw up in my mouth.
I wish Game of Thrones was on tonight.
Peter was nominated for best supporting actor in case you care.
In case you care, Zach is up to 42 and 2/3 innings.
If you don’t know who I am talking about, then you are reading the wrong blog.
There may or may not been a time that I thought the band was The Outsiders and the song was Need to Breathe. But, it DID make me know my woman had good music taste. I remember when she used to make me mixed CD’s. In the words of VH, where have all the good times gone?
Just kidding-still GREAT times, just no mixed CD’s/
Just listen to this damn song, OK? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmOo_xmiQ84
Glad I straightened THAT out.
Need to Breathe is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO badass.
Latest wedding update. Cancun for wedding, post March Madness timeline NOT during a golf Major.
I still have drinks and play “Payphone.”
I still wonder what I would look like in a hat if I wasn’t emotionally attached to my Steelers hat.
I temporarily bought a cowboy hat at Blake, but know I won’t wear that thing ever again.
Blake talked to the crowd better than any act I have scene, and my favorite was “if I read the reviews tomorrow and it says this sucked, I am blaming it on YOU.”
Slide, by Goo Goo Dolls, is one of my favorite songs of ALL time. Right behind the third movement of Beethoven Sonata #13.
Which I destroyed as a pianist as a teenager.
“I want to wake up where you are. I won’t take anything at all.”
If you thought that was cheesy, then go to a different freaking URL-my magic is that I am abrasive, I love my woman, and I cry when a dog dies in a movie.
I still hate Kyle for not telling me that dog died.
Did you all see how the ESPN main page Thursday night was “Bizarro Steelers?”
Seinfeld references GALORE.
I will talk about the MLB second half NEXT time.
I will rank the Game of Thrones hottest chicks NEXT time.
Why the HELL did he ever leave that cave?
Was Plaxico Burress just lonely, and can you pass along my info so I can give him a big hug?
On editing, the girls are now home, meaning my party is done.
Ugghhh.
Flow chart-Bama/ Georgia picked as division winners in the SEC but Auburn picked as the winner.
Damn, I love flow charts.
#4 question: Joseph, what is the ONE Steelers jersey I would buy, own, and wear ($5)?
Hint.
Got his toes blown off in a war and still made the greatest squad of all time.
The Mavs are becoming my favorite team in the NBA just because Cuban is being SO cool after the Jordan fiasco, and JJ Barea got some extra cash.
I would not lay money on the Royals…you had your chance before last year’s playoffs.
I went to UVA in 1991 because it was top ten in partying, sports, and academics, and glad to see them win the Capital Cup this year a year after being #1 in partying.
Greatest school ever and only one I needed to visit.
Academics is a given….as I have said, I act dumb to shorten conversations with strangers I don’t feel like talking to…I am FAR from a dumb guy.
Just easier to act dumb…
I think even Lindsey thinks I am dumb…I am fine with that (she doesn’t know a lot of things).
Next question-Lindsey-Who is the QB on the Steelers who is responsible for us falling in love?
She won’t read this.
Don’t get a dumb Twitter account and ache to go to Arkansas.
The joke is there…FIND it.
If I was Serena, I would pull out of every non Grand Slam tourney TOO.
It came up again, and being “tatonka’d” should be a verb.
I LOVE the fact that Penn State is going back to nameless football jerseys, and Nike can NOT worry about making 9 different versions of jerseys for THEM.
Interesting that Olbermann, Simmons, and now Cowherd are all OUT at ESPN.
Somehow I think that Josh Smith signing for the minimum and David West signing for the minimum are not the same thing.
Did Mike Tyson just get LONELY?
When is the next Hangover coming out, Phil Collins.
Two movies I can’t turn off if I see it on the TV are Armageddon and Remember the Titans.
Upon editing, I found Titans…looking for Armageddon.
Pretty sure I know some people who can’t watch Titans, and hopefully they are not in my life anymore.
Yes, there are 30 more movies on that list…GOT me.
LOVE that Steve Kerr told Iggy he is still a bench player.
Is there a Vegas bet on which amazing QB will start this season?
#5 question for someone who doesn’t read this blog: Rob, what is your alter ego ($5)?
#6 question for someone who doesn’t read this blog: Marty, what is the bar you want to go back to the most?
I admit to prank calling Reggie Wayne from different area codes.
I admit to kind of figuring out that Rex Ryan would be skydiving at this point in the year.
Tell your friends, that this is first time that Tiger has not made cut in two consecutive Majors ever.
Not so much about his game, but more that EVERYONE and their mother was scoring under par this weekend.
I am still confused…is Antman real sized or not.
We decided the day after Blake Shelton that there wasn’t much else to see in Cheyenne.
I am pretty sure that although he cheated, that I knew what stage the Tour de France was in MUCH more years ago.
LOVE the AARP tweet to Tiger about “better to be over 50 than to not make the cut.”
My happiness for Game of Thrones being Emmy nominated is only dulled about the fact that Cat Deeley from So You Think you Can Dance got nominated for anything positive in her life outside of being hot.
When the Open got wind delayed, I was happy because they waited for me, but it is 530pm on a Sunday, and I can’t believe I work tomorrow DURING the final round.
Long lunch.
So, what do we have…Scott, Vince, John, Marty. You know what? I might just go somewhere on my own and disappear for four nights. No offense to the above names, but why would I not just do what I always do…which is my own thing by myself? Cancun. February. THAT is my gut feeling.
Avery, you are one of my favorite people in the entire world.
The pics from Blake will come tomorrow-done tonight.
That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro.