Signing off for a few days, and damn straight I watched this show. Talk to you after St. Croix, and during St. John. Peace.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock.  Airplane rant.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for joining me.  This might be a last installment for the week, as I am on an airplane right now, and going to a place where I am not sure how much I will care about blogging.  When in St. Croix and St. John, I have a feeling something involving water will be more calling than sitting around too much with a laptop in front of me.  Anyway, thought I would squeeze one in here while crossing the country on a plane.

2)      Lance Stephenson needs to take a hard look in the mirror.  Take out his pedestrian 13 points and 7 rebounds a game, or the fact that he blows into the ear and pisses off the greatest player on the planet.  Five years and $44 million is MORE than you should be paid or at LEAST equal to it, and you better take that deal and run with it in a decent town on a good team with fans who presently tolerate you.

3)      Yes.  I KNOW I am repeating myself.  I am passionate about my present disdain for Lance Stephenson and what he thinks he deserves.

4)      I think although I was all over the Pacers bandwagon last year, they now irritate me for some reason.

5)      I think I would like to be a fly on the wall when Lionel Hollins and the mad Russian have any type of conversations.  I get the feeling that Lionel will have to turn down a martini SEVERAL times.

6)      You look at LeBron’s travel schedule over the next few weeks, and the dude almost HAS to make a decision pretty soon.  Well, that and the fact that the ENTIRE league is in a holding pattern until Melo and LeBron and the other two dudes in Miami make their decision.  In the meantime, these fools are signing with teams for money that is probably lower than if they waited to find out the losers of the free agency period are for the big time players.  Then, they could go pick on them.

7)      Before I got on the plane today, I read Bosh might be trying to go anywhere that LeBron goes.  Well, that is adorable…and very smart.  See?  You think I hate Snowball/ Dwight Howard?  Bosh wants to turn down $10 million a year more ON a good team in Houston to NOT play with that guy.  Well, and hanging on to LeBron’s coattails is not a bad plan for someone not caring about being the best of all time.  Bosh is in this to win a couple more and make some loot.

8)      The most amount of bets are being laid on the Cleveland Cavaliers than other team thus far to win the NBA title next year.  First, this is WITHOUT LeBron.  Second, the betting just opened so don’t get too excited.  Third, I said the most AMOUNT of bets, not total money.  Basically, a bunch of scrubs from Cleveland are making silly bets on their home team hoping to land LeBron and get the bet in before the odds go all crazy.

9)      There are self serving beer stations at Target Field these days, and if that doesn’t have a recipe for disaster, I don’t know what does.  Those people with three teeth at ball parks might not be on their way to being a multi-millionaire, but at least it was a human organism who might be able to tell if someone has had too much.

10)   How the HELL did the fact that Josh Gordon was driving PJ Hairston’s car NOT get more publicity?  How?  I find it utterly fascinating.  I might have led in with it if I owned a sports station.  One is from Texas.  The other is from North Carolina.  The other stories were already out there.  Give this MUCH more run on the tube.  I even have a flow chart ready for this.  Geez.

11)   Thanks, Logan.  I put it in the last blog before Mr. Royal’s awesome rant, but for those who missed it, PLEASE Google “deadspin manziel non exhaustive list.”  You are welcome.

12)   Although the cop Seinfeld dates in the Melrose episode was the worst actress throughout the series, that episode is SO funny.  A lie detector with the knowledge of Melrose Place in the balance?  Awesome.  And damn RIGHT I watched that show.  Research for conversation back in the day.  I even can claim to have helped organize a 90210-Melrose Place finale party at the beach after exams.  The crowd was large.  It is what it is, and that’s what it was.

13)   Josh McRoberts.  Danny Granger.  Miami Heat.  I like these moves for what they are trying to do, but the fans have to trust that the numbers don’t tell everything.  McRoberts gives them a stretch 4 that can do similar things to what Chris Bosh did last year.  I will say that Josh had a “career” year last year that raised his career scoring average to a MONSTROUS 5.7.  Granger?  He hasn’t done anything on paper for the last year or two, but I don’t think he is done yet.  Sure, he puts out an idiotic tweet here and there, but let’s remember he was relatively recently an All Star and he really isn’t old yet.  Plus, they are paying him next to nothing.  I say it is a good gamble to go along with a poor man’s Bosh who can’t score much.

14)   Donald Sterling needs to just stay as far from a microphone as humanly possible for…like forever.  The crap ihe is saying in court??  Dude is OUT there.

15)   It seems so long ago when I would care if Aaron Hernandez switched jails.

16)   Whatever that damn phone booth song is (I think it is Maroon 5, but not sure), it is irritatingly growing on me.  NOT happy about it, but once again, it is what it is.  Like or hate their music, they sure do write a good hook.

17)   I know what a hook is from Hustle N’ Flow.

18)   If RGIII doesn’t show us something like two years ago in DC THIS year, at least he can go visit the statue they are building for him in Baylor.  That is adorable.  There isn’t much in Baylor from what I understand.  You might as well build statues for Heisman Trophy winners.

19)   DON’T even THINK about it, Texas A&M.  Seriously, put it out of your mind.  The world would implode in some way if Johnny Football even HEARD he had a statue.

20)   I can’t believe Channing Frye will be making the money he will be making next year.  Slightly skewed to say the LEAST.

21)   But at least he is a monster physically.  The Hornets just signed Gordon Hayward for 4 years/$63 million.  He is a 16/5/5 guy.  Over $15 million for a shooter who can’t guard a tree.

22)   And we wonder why our young athletes aren’t going to soccer.

23)   Any depression about not having Mr. Cabrera and Mr. Trout in the ASG home run derby is quickly fixed by the fact that resident idiot Yasiel Puig will be in there.  One way or the other…he will make it fun.

24)   I haven’t decided if I like Geno Smith saying “Why not us?” for the Super Bowl before winning the starting gig there.  But, at least he is keeping to that “Jets just do and say questionable stuff” doctrine.

25)   Wow, Michael Vick is such a perfect fit into that drama.  Couldn’t have SCRIPTED it better.

26)   LeBron will meet with Pat Riley today to discuss the future.  I am thinking it is less of a discussion and LeBron just telling Pat what he plans to do.  Wade and Bosh need a team, a star teammate, or money.  LeBron can do whatever the heck he wants.

27)   Close your eyes and think about LeBron.  What he does has obviously a domino effect on the present NBA power.  I might as well add that the grass is green and the sky is blue while I am at it.  But, what he does SO changes his legendary career overall.  Go somewhere for the money with no squad, and he spends the rest of his prime rebuilding.  Out of the MJ  conversation.  Go back to Cleveland and risk similar things with a little more talent and become beloved again in that town.  So adorable that ONE ring with Cleveland would put him INTO the conversation again.  Join forces with Melo and others and not superficially create ONE team, but now two. WEAK.  This is a HUGE decision in the big scheme of things.  I think he knows it too.  You know what?  I could see him actually signing max money, but short term to re-evaluate this in two years.  That would just delay a monumental decision, but I get the feeling he doesn’t know what to do, and whatever he does it might be a better option to not get sealed in anywhere for his entire prime.

28)   Why does he need the money again?  SO confused on that.

29)   I am hopefully catching some of the Netherlands-Argentina match when we get to our first stop.  Argentina is the better team and will win, but Mr. Robben from the Netherlands is quickly becoming my favorite soccer player in the world.  He changed things EVERY time he touched the ball in the quarters.  EVERY time.  I like his cockiness, his surprising speed, and his moves.  Dude is a stud.  Now I have someone to root for at Euro 2016.

30)   Glad to see that even in today’s world the Miami football players are making sure the trouble free image never really implements itself fully on the team.  The U is still troubled.  Two LB’s arrested and dismissed for sexual assault.

31)   Ok.  Let me be clear for the new reader.  I am not condoning sexual assault.  I am making fun of Miami football.  Let the focus be on the right thing, and PLEASE understand my level of sarcasm is extremely high.  Kind of sad about the story when you read about two monstrous dudes buying a girl drinks and then both taking turns with her in a hotel room as she was “helpless.”  Scary actually.

32)   Not sure if they can make the numbers crunch, but once again Pau Gasol to the Thunder seems almost TOO perfect.  You know what though?  Pau should also probably be eyeing Chicago because of win now, the Suns because of win soon, or the Knicks because he is Mr. Triangle.

33)   I had a joke about USC putting Pete Carroll in the Hall of Fame but can’t get the wording down exactly.  Make up your own and try to include Reggie Bush in there.  At least that is what I was trying to do.

34)   The Miami Marlins say they are holding on to Stanton and McGehee.  Why would they do anything on the selling front?  They are playing in the confused NL East, and happen to be only 6 games out of first.

35)   I say confused, but that is because I grew up in a time when the Phillies and Mets were NOT typically the cellar dwellers.

36)   There is nothing in the USA Today section non sports related that I feel like writing about.  Halle Berry is in a TV series I guess now, and the making of the Planet of the Apes movie was high tech with humans with motion sensors (so basically like that older Gatorade commercial?).  Blah, blah, blah.

37)   Sugar Mash update.  Matt finished the game, then it apparently made more levels so he is now past 600, and Lindsey is evidently in some alternative world with an owl that upsets her when I ask more about why she is there.

38)   Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  Tanaka has lost 3 of 4.  Blah, blah, blah.  Just a pre ASG slide.  There is nothing to be concerned about.  Ugghhh.

39)   Perusing the newspaper before finishing up, and diving into a book I meant to read about 10 years ago, The Caddie was a Reindeer.

40)   British Open is coming.  I of course step into my biased bubble and will tell you “THIS IS IT!!!!!  Tiger is back.  It will happen NOW DAMMIT.”  I then exit my extremely biased bubble, take a look at the course, figure in the different type of putting, the wind, etc., and I personally like Jason Day, Bubba Watson, Henrik Stenson, Dustin Johnson, and Matt Kuchar.  Of those five, give me Henrik Stenson and Matt Kuchar as my top ones.

41)   It looks like Cleveland and Arizona are on a collision course in the Arena Football League.  I just wanted to write that line.  Take it in.

42)   Kurt Busch was docked points in NASCAR.  I know you want the reason, so I will tell you that he was out of the 3” measurement range in the center of the panhard bar and mounting bolt.  That is always a tough one to catch.  I will now stop talking about this as we all know I haven’t a clue.

43)   Seattle is the best MLS team these days from a record point of view.  It makes me warm and fuzzy to know the best soccer fans in the nation also have the best team.

44)   I remember actually glancing at the standings daily and catching a couple stages of the Tour de France.  Lance really jacked that stuff up, didn’t he?  Tricks us into thinking HE won a bunch without drugs, got a bunch more people caught, and therefore we are pissed at him, the sport, and everyone who is doing it and probably cheating.

45)   Sucks to see the two best hitters in baseball average wise play for two of the crappiest teams.  With Altuve, at least he knows that losing is still the present reality for the long term“plan” that is the Houston Astros.  It actually is slowly showing promise as they are loaded with prospects and young studs starting to mature.  With Tulowitzki, there really IS no plan except to hope CarGo and Tulo.  They have people going out there on the mound, mainly because of injuries, who in no normal rite of passage would be pitching at this level on any team.  Altuve is at .338 and his team is 37-54.  Tulo is at .349 and his team is at 37-53.  They should be Facebook friends.

46)   The Elite 11 Qb camp for HS’ers is going on.  If I am a UCLA fan (Bob), I am pumped with how the direction of the program is going.  Showed promise last year, and this kid Josh Rosen they have coming in is about as highly regarded as you can be.  Dude is a physical specimen too.

47)   Call me crazy, but I think Saul Avarez wins his tough fights he is lining up, and him and Floyd link up in Floyd’s last contractual fight that will be sooner rather than later.  Only three left I believe before he rides into the sunset.

48)   What?  You are saying you don’t want a Canelo-Floyd rematch?  Ok.  Well, who the hell ELSE is out there?

49)   You can love or hate Tiger Woods, but it is what it is.  People watch.  You can love or hate Michelle Wie, but last week’s final round of the LPGA tourney had a 92% spike from the year before since she was in contention.

50)   The UFC had to cancel its second fight recently.  Hey.  I got an idea, UFC 100,456.  SLOW the hell down.  You might have more headliners, audience, and money should you not have a pay per view every other week.

51)   John Isner is a #1 seed in the Hall of Fame Championship in Newport, R.I.  Yes, people, do the math.  Obviously NO one else is playing that thing since he is a one seed.  Dude is the highest ranked American, and he is TWELVE in the world.

52)   What a weird day yesterday.  First the Brazil-Germany thing which I am going to get to.  Second, Raymond Felton announced he still believes he is an elite PG.  Did I fall asleep and miss a couple years?  What the hell happened?  When WAS Raymond Felton “elite,” let alone being “elite again?”  So confused.

53)   I hate the Eagles.  I hate the team less, but my focus is on the band for this hook.  Lindsey was watching some show on them last night before bed.  The only thing cool about them is that I saw Joe Walsh playing casual guitar in the crowd at Woodstock 1994 and that Don Henley had a couple cool songs after he went solo.  Hotel California can do the same thing David Ortiz wants his PED doubters to do…shove it.

54)   Ok.  The Brazil debacle.  It was surreal, and there is nothing about the game I can add that hasn’t already been said, but I am going to talk about it anyway.  I watched it the first time at work.  I was on a call, about 10 minutes after reminding my boss I had picked Germany from day one before this tournament without even hesitating.  I was on a work call, snapping at him with fingers being shown, more fingers being shown, while he said I must be confusing goals with replays.  I wasn’t, it was a spectacle, and during my watch #2 with sound (yes, I watched it twice), even the announcers mentioned it looked like replays.  If losing at the World Cup is a punch in the gut to a country, then this was more like the boxer and Houdini.  Is that the Brazilian team we all know?  No.  Is Germany that good?  Not 7-1 good.  Did Brazil miss its two stars?  Not 7-1 miss.  Was it the coach’s fault?  Not entirely, but even before the onslaught, Germany was attacking pretty easily.  Should Argentina/ Netherlands be scared?  Maybe “nervous” is a better answer.  Will Brazil recover?  Of course.  Ebb and flow.  Does it absolutely SUCK to NOT win in your own crib?  Wow, hell yes.  I sound like Colin Cowherd answering my own questions.  Anyway, the Germans were passing like the Spanish from 4 years ago.  If you take the overall balance of the entire German squad from goalkeeper to striker and then add an even higher level of passing then they already HAVE, well then you just have a freaking scary team.

55)   Props to Brazil fans not for being all over the news lighting things on fire and burglarizing the town out of sadness.  You handled it well.

56)   That is it.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

57)   Probably not blogging tomorrow.  Just a tagline.  My toes will be in the sand.  I expect to be back online briefly each morning after the weekend.

58)   Bryce Harper either needs to get healthy and be good, or I need a new tagline.  It is losing its specialness on me.

59)   Ok.  NOW I am done.