So the joke starts that two running backs from the same team go smoke up in a car and drive at 130pm in the afternoon…ugghhh. #depthchart
Got to post jokes about your OWN team when they happen, right? I came clean during Ben’s crap too…
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Evening version. Traveling. Too long of list, too short of time (as traveling means you have to do work AFTER you fly-fun). Speed version. Mostly one sentence I will assume. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. I might be rushed, but at least I clear my list. Let’s go.
2) Shame to see Mo’ne and Philly go down in the LLWS game tonight. Still awesome what she did. Still got her SI cover out of it. Still got 34,000 fans tonight, which was 9,000 more than the Phillies-Mariners got tonight. Still in it. Still just need to take down Illinois to make the US final. Props, girl.
3) And then the winner of Saturday can be a state that can play a COUNTRY. Yeah. Something’s flawed in this system.
4) Speaking of Philly, Drunk History this week was based on Philly. Tight. Liberty Bell, constitution, and all that jazz. Lithgow, Wynona, etc. The show gets some stars.
5) Sure, it is probably crap, but I live by Colfax Avenue, and I will say that I don’t mind at all that this social media actual Purge rumor in Colorado is scheduled for when I am in a wedding in Wisconsin. Sept 6th. We just fixed the window, people. Be nice.
6) Melo is now telling us the Knicks will absolutely make the playoffs. So, they will make the playoffs, but not win the title. We got it, Melo. Now, give us back the mic.
7) I just don’t have time to include pictures yet. I am IN town on Labor Day weekend and plan on doing a lot of watching football and a lot of nothing else. So, maybe THEN I will share pictures. My intern went back to college, so I have no help.
8) Well, I am no math expert, but I assume Kevin Durant shouldn’t care about NBA contract money after this Under Armour deal he is signing unless there is a comma moved or something.
9) NBA Dick Bavetta retires. 2,635 consecutive regular season games he suited up. We could make jokes about Ripken, and then find out Bavetta topped Ripken by THREE freaking games. That is a different version of the jackass time I jumped out of the pool at a swimathon exactly ONE lap more than my brother. 304-303 I believe. Not right.
10) Shit. I just heard the news on Steelers Bell and Blount. Geez. Do I go down the Blount-blunt route or comment on the fact that the entire depth chart at a position shouldn’t smoke together? Ugghhh.
11) Real Madrid just played in some Super Cup club thing. Not sure what exactly. Not sure if they even have an offseason over there.
12) Seven of 10 anonymous players think Manziel will succeed. Let’s go out for drinks, you other three guys.
13) In light of that, at least Hoyer gets the nod for first shot. At least with the subpar, lesser of two evil approach Pettine had to decide between, Rex Grossman actually thinks he might start again as the #3.
14) Pettine didn’t like Josh Gordon’s effort in the last preseason game. It is probably easier to track him on the field with that cloud behind him and cheez-it smell.
15) How did I JUST learn what the Ice Bucket challenge was? Now I KNOW I am working too much when someone at work has to tell me about it.
16) You should click on the link I put out in yesterday’s blog. Seriously.
17) BS. I get here early to work from my room, the rooms for my co-workers were in my name, and I was informed at dinner that they have these huge suites and a shower that could have room for 15 people. I just got a normal hotel room. Ugghhh.
18) Luis Suarez says he won’t bite again. Him and Josh Gordon are going on a withdrawal program for their two problems.
19) Ok. That has to be the last Cleveland sports reference. Has to be.
20) Why should you read Deadspin? Well, ONE reason would be this headline from yesterday. “crazy racist Alaskan goes on amazing racist road rage rant.” That is nice.
21) I forgot that Bruce Almighty is kind of sweet at the end. Been a while.
22) Hasn’t been a while since I thought that Morgan Freeman somehow is in EVERY freaking movie.
23) I am not editing this. Don’t have time. Just a heads up for you grammatical people. Like I said, my intern left for college.
24) I had this crazy vampire dream that had different levels of fighting. The jedi like vampire people spun like crazy fast with swords and knives, were made when two masters mated, and I was lucky to hang with one of them. I assume this is some remnant of Lindsey watching True Blood religiously. I remember like one dream a month tops.
25) Carl Edwards will drive for Joe Gibbs Racing in 2015. I just want to know what team the back flips are coming from. Wait. He IS the guy who does the backflips, right? Think so. Not totally sure…
26) Vikings settle. Smart.
27) Bertuzzi and Moore settle outside of court. Smart.
28) RGIII getting slide help at some point from a baseball player. Smart.
29) Me skipping some things on this list. Smart.
30) Johnny Football flipping off the Skins in PRESEASON. Dumb.
31) Mike Ditka backing the fact that the Redskins name is just a freaking football team nickname. Smart.
32) Nadal skipping US Open. Smart.
33) Betting on an American to make the semi’s or better in the US Open. Dumb.
34) Boeheim saying Melo should have gone to Bulls. Smart.
35) Baylor football having a mobile app that allows you to play replays at games. Smart.
36) Anything involving Notre Dame academics this week. Dumb.
37) Not reading Deadspin daily. Dumb.
38) Buying Lunchables as a bedtime snack when traveling and having a fridge. Smart.
39) Ok. That was fun. Back to normal hooks. Braxton Miller is out for season. HUGE blow. True. But, let me say this. Their schedule is doable, JT Barrett was ranked in the top 300 recruits in his HS class WHEN he was out all senior season with a ligament injury. Their front four is brutal. Their skill positions have a lot of fun slot receivers and backs that don’t require long throws…kind of like those damn Florida teams. They are not automatically out of the playoff conversation. They are just not an absolute player right now.
40) Gronk is back, and you may be a Pats hater or lover, but know that Tom Brady is a pretty freaking happy guy right about now. Gronk adds that extra dimension.
41) The backup QB at Auburn says that Mr. Marshall will win the Heisman. Smart guy. He still wants his job, but looks like he will be sad if he has to take it over because of injury or something.
42) …sorry. Wandered off thinking about the Steelers RB situation. Ugghhh.
43) The Falcons will move Jake Matthews to LT. Injuries happen. They planned on doing this two years from now anyway, so we shouldn’t be surprised. He played LT at A&M. Lock and load.
44) I am excited for my next full week of staying home. I could never be an outside salesperson.
45) We have a rule at our house that I can’t go in Lindsey’s food drawer that has HER cheese. It works most of the time. Well, now we have to reevaluate things. We had cheese go bad in our fridge. That should never happen on my watch. I need access again, or at least perusing rights.
46) Shame about Darnell Dockett. The Cardinals get things all lined up, and then these little irritating things happen to undermine them.
47) I guess since Joe Mixon was just a freshman, we won’t truly know what OU is missing this year. Might have been like a lower tier version of if Reggie Bush didn’t play his freshman year. Who knows?
48) Having a bologna sandwich at Toby Keith’s was glorious. Tomorrow after work is done, it is Solo Cup night. Looking forward to it.
49) PROPS and congrats to Jim Kelly. Awesome, man. So glad, you are clear of that disease.
50) The Cowboys are listed by Forbes at $3.2 billion worth, which is $.6 billion ahead of second place in the NFL, the Pats. Hmmm. Stellar for a team that hasn’t been in the playoffs since 2009 and hasn’t won anything since 1996 (thanks to Neil O’Donnell setting up that damn pass, of course).
51) Yes, I DO believe that still. Conspiracy.
52) Nick Fairley is like the only guy I have heard of who GAINS weight during training camp in the NFL.
53) The trial period for longer PAT’s in the NFL is done now. EIGHT missed out of 141, or 5% more than the old spot. I don’t like changing ANYTHING in sports because of old school records, and I don’t want to change THIS rule…but I WILL say…it sounds a little fun watching a team try and kick a longer PAT in the weather or go for two.
54) That being said, I still say DON’T change it. Seriously.
55) If you bought stock in Google in 2004 at their IPO, you would have made 1293% thus far on that purchase. Fact.
56) The state of the masses for television can clearly be described as “America’s Got Talent is the most watched TWO shows in the land, and NCIS is third.” Fact.
57) Paul Rudd is going to be a superhero-AntMan. Fact.
58) Virginia football is a 22 pt. underdog at HOME against UCLA in their opener. Fact.
59) The Angels DID catch the A’s for the moment. Fact.
60) The Brewers and Royals are still in first place in their division. Fact.
61) Before tonight’s games, the Pirates are showing us who they really are by losing 7 straight, and the Nats are showing who they really are by WINNING eight straight.
62) Not sure who has that baseball from the August 8th game where Jeter tied Wagner in hits, but it is useless. Ruled not an infield hit but an error upon further review.
63) Why did that ref SUDDENLY stop working Redskins games in 2013? Sudden conscious guilt? Not following.
64) That Steelers RB situation drowned out my happiness of Brett Keisel and Pittsburgh extending terms.
65) That is it. I am tired. Hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.