A-Ha!…you found The Rant.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Not wasting my crazy, exciting stay at home movie Friday night blogging.  Just ripping one out…because I need to.  If it has been a couple days since you checked in, there are two solid, random airplane rants in the hopper.  Catch up.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Watching playoff baseball is cool.  Watching the unusual managerial moves is electric.  Watching starters come in as closers is exciting.  Listening to the Braves fans do that freaking cheer over and over and over again is downright irritating.  You guys were even doing it last night down 7000 runs.  Give it a rest sometimes.

2)      Clayton Kershaw is a stud.  Any problems with me saying that? He is 25 years young by the way.

3)      As happy as Browns fans are today after a “big” win versus Buffalo, they can’t be happy about being back with middle age Brandon Weeden back at the helm.  Sorry, Ben.

3a)  Ben flew out to Pittsburgh in Browns gear.  I told him to talk shit.  We deserve it.  We are horrible.

4)      I did score a point in my losers pool for that game though last night.  No idea how Lindsey’s fantasy opponent (the clown question punk) scored like 25 points with the Browns D while giving up 24 points, but I am confused about a lot of things in life.

5)      St. Louis schooled Pittsburgh in Game 1.  Pittsburgh replied earlier today while I was WORKING.  Ugghhh.  Love the amount of games.  Hate that I missed it.

6)      The US leads the Presidents Cup.  Not many people care about this on Thursday or Friday, but just reporting it.  I might care a little on Sunday.

7)      The Cowboys are sick of hearing about Peyton Manning.  Yeah, well, if he wasn’t already a legend putting up MORE legendary numbers in the first 4 weeks, than I guess we would join you in that sentiment.  Put up or shut up, guys.  That big screen might seem a little BIGGER this week when he threads you all.  Which he will.

7a)  Yes.  Vince.  I almost sounded like NOT a hater in that hook.  Almost.

8)      Ed Reed says the NFL in general is shady.  The NFL replied back by saying that he is old.

9)      A squirrel made an appearance at the Presidents Cup.  You look it up.  I am in a rush.  Some relatively cool video I think.  Adorable.

10)   Guys.  Watch this show with your lady.  Polyamory.  It is slightly odd and basically has people sleeping with everyone on the show WITH nude shots.  What is wrong with any of that?

11)   Speaking of that stuff, if you don’t know what it is pulling an Xavier McDaniel, than you must be younger than 32 years old.  That might even be tough to Google.  You guys older than that know what I mean, and it is funny.  I threw out the reference in house recently.

12)   Dusty Baker got ousted as manager of the Reds today.  He deserves it overall, but this jacked up playoff format really got the best of him.  See last four rants.  Be a regular reader.  Jim Rome is funny only if you pay attention weekly.  Otherwise, the jokes will make no sense relatively.

13)   Texas scored late to beat Iowa State.  About 8 years ago, you would have read that and thought it was a joke.  It is not.  Even Iowa State coaches are mad about calls by the refs.  Texas needed HELP.  This Red River Shootout is going to be a joke…and my household will be very happy.

14)   The new Volkswagen commercial with Take On Me and the guy in the company meeting is pretty funny.

14a)  That song will NEVER die.  It is the most 80’s song in sound and will NOT go away.  Think about it.  We used to wear our collar up and jam out to that jam.

15)   Jason Kidd must sit two games at the beginning of the season for getting his DUI.  You make a lot of money, bro.  Hire a driver for $50k a year and call it a day.  If someone does not start this business, I WILL.

16)   Just like I will work on getting a patent for my new invention, the Tripod.  I could tell you what it is, but then I would have to kill you.  Lindsey thinks it is dumb.  Ben thinks it has potential.  It will be mainstream by 2016.  Trust me.  About two years AFTER I have the energy to patent it.

17)   Lindsey and I have decided on eating dinner, watching Blacklist, and then watching This is the End.  Sounds like a solid night to me.

18)   A-Rod is suing a bunch of people and entities.  Someone tell me how we counter-sue, and whether irritation or spite is a good charge to do so.  Cue Seinfeld again on the spite thing.

19)   I think I would be just irritated by the iPad/ Windows commercials if she doesn’t say “do you think I am pretty” at the end.  But she does.  Therefore, I am more than irritated.  There you go, JJ.

20)   Jarvis Jones plays for the Steelers.  I think he will eventually be a stud.  The Steelers are 0-4.  How the HELL is he already in a Subway commercial?

21)   For some reason, the fact that the slain fan’s brother swinging an aluminum chair during the whole thing is a story.  Not following.  Non sequitur.

22)   Tyson fired back at amateur boxing about him poaching our best Olympic boxing hope was written in a letter.  I could comment on what he said, but I would rather mention that SOMEONE had to write the damn thing for him.  HAD to.  Tyson can’t write a LETTER.

23)   Magic Johnson says the Dodgers are NOT after Robinson Cano.  I would hope not.  Can we enjoy this postseason before talking about free agency?  Geez.

24)   The Mets Matt Harvey will have Tommy John surgery.  Good choice.  You are young, man.  Technology is good to go.  Bite the bullet, bro, on the time you will miss.  LOTS of time to become a pitching stud.  You will definitely be a bunch of Cy Youngs behind Clayton Kershaw, but so will most people these days.

25)   Boston rolled today.  I still am going with the Tigers in the World Series.  On the record.  Again.

26)   I wonder if Zack Greinke talks to ANYONE.  Ever.

27)   Denver has decided as of today that today is the beginning of fall and winter.  With my need for white noise, I guess tonight the two loud fans face the OTHER way.  I LOVE this weather though.  No bugs.  No humidity.  A little bit of everything.

28)   I suppose I was supposed to do something fun tonight since it is Friday.  I am.  I blogged.

29)   Kurt, you are a punk.  And if you read that statement, I win since you are reading my blog at the end.  You too, Craig.  Biatches.

30)   That is it.  Going to watch this week’s Blacklist.  May the force be with you and thanks for reading.  Tell your friends.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.