This rant was in the pool.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Airplane rant.  Speed version.  No internet.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Nice to talk to you again after having a hectic traveling work week.  The list is monstrous.  Tough for me to do, but I will skip what I need to.  One sentence and one sentence only for each hook.  Airplane rant-no internet-forgive spelling errors.  I land and usually publish.  This is unedited and written on a plane.  Let’s do this.
2. I am tired of hearing from a guy averaging a couple extra points per game in a couple of extra minutes and that would be YOU, Dion Waiters.
3. Before jumping off a bridge because UVA BARELY beat VA Tech in basketball, let’s keep in mind the golden rule, which is ALL conference road games are hard.
4. Not sure of what to make of Duke’s Marshall Plumlee going off to the Army, but congrats and I hope you are not the weakest link in THAT family.
5. I am pretty sure just let go Duke G Rasheed Sulaimon’s reason for leaving the team was NOT to go in the Army.
6. My Cavs play Duke this weekend, and in a perfect world, I would have liked to play them NOT after a loss-thanks, Notre Dame.
7. I am ALSO glad that CoachK’s 1000^th win wasn’t on the line this weekend.
8. Lindsey Vonn won another World Cup event and Tiger is still missing a tooth and losing.
9. I have a lot of pictures to share over the last two weeks, but it sounds like a lot of work so just imagine cool things.
10. I drop my bags tonight, unpack, work one full day, repack for a night excursion to the mountains, come back, unpack, repack, and head to Oklahoma for the whole week for work.
11. I am exhausted THINKING about it.
12. I am pretty sure the Pats are too cool for the fire alarm tricks.
13. We are not saying you are an addict, Josh Gordon, but you ARE putting up quite the case that you are.
14. The Seahawks are mad at the HGH tests, so act like we care that he said that.
15. Richard Sherman says the NCAA is a scam, so let’s act like we care that he said that.
16. Richard Sherman says he is unsure what he will do if his kid is born before or during the Super Bowl, so let’s act like we actually THINK he will not play the Super Bowl…ha.
17. I have “rooster” written on my list, but don’t think I was talking about the Little Jerry’s at the stock show.
18. I highly recommend going to the stock show, as you can catch auctioneers, sheep herding dogs, bull riding, and pretty much everything else you can imagine on a farm.
19. I have pics, but once again, it sounds like a lot of work to post.
20. If Marshawn Lynch would stop with the hats and the repetitive answers that GET him media attention, I MIGHT believe he actually would like to shy away from the media interviews.
21. Please stop telling me about every meeting between Pacquiao and Mayweather until this shit is SIGNED.
22. In the midst of catching headlines in between work stuff, did I imagine it or did I actually see a headline telling us that Tom Brady had a cold mid week???
23. It is just one game, but the Bulls beating the Warriors at their crib was a solid statement.
24. I have no internet, but wanted you to know that I WOULD look up whatever Tony Stewart bought on the Sprint Tour before talking about it.
25. I know he is one of the greatest ever, but can we take ALL of the Kobe status information over a three day period and THEN post it?
26. Cut it any way you want, this MVP race in the NBA is going to be one of the most competitive and interesting in years.
27. Thank you, Mr. Blake, for letting us know deflating balls is common.
28. GREAT hire in my unbiased opinion with the Broncos hiring Wade Phillips.
29. Screw the up and coming coaches-the guy was made to coach defense.
30. I just ordered a Diet Dr. Pepper and am pretty sure that when I have a soft drink, that it has surpassed Coke Zero in my eyes.
31. Hey, US National Team, if you want to generate that same World Cup excitement you did this past year, you better start winning those friendlies like against Chile.
32. I guess I need to start looking into going to Russia in four years, huh.
33. Brazil sounds so much more exciting…hindsight is 20/20.
34. Google “the Boston Shoveler” and enjoy a fun story.
35. Hey, JR Smith, way to piss off all the people in Cleveland who DON’T like basketball.
36. I was on the wrong side of the plane on the way out to see the Grand Canyon, and I am on the right side this time and there are clouds.
37. Also don’t jump off a bridge as a Nadal fan because of an early exit in Australia, as he is older, conserving energy subconsciously, and only cares about the French.
38. Federer must be on depression watch right now, as I assume as soon as he lost, he realized that the next Grand Slam event was the Nadal Open.
39. My boss noticed something about a good Iowa State team, and that is that every player on the floor can get their own shot, making them very dangerous and balanced.
40. My hotel room would NOT allow me to change the thermostat without having someone come up, and that was extremely irritating all week.
41. This is really fun that no one really can tell anyone who definitively will win the Super Bowl.
42. I am on the record I believe with the Pats…strongly.
43. I didn’t read the story, but all of you high school students should know that UCF just built a BEACH IN their football stadium…sounds fun.
44. Thanks, Lance Armstrong, for telling us all the cool kids were doing it and that you would do it again.
45. LaVine and Plumlee in the NBA dunk contest will be fun.
46. Not Jordan vs. Wilkins fun, but still innocent fun.
47. No more comebacks, Martin Brodeur….please.
48. I think what we gain from the Robert Allenby story is that Aussie’s like to drink, that it is a crazy story that may or may not have happened, and that it is always nice to blackout totally WHEN the event might have occurred.
49. I can say that because that has never happened to me…ever.
50. I would like someone to flow chart the Busch-Driscoll-assassin story…I think I got confused somewhere along the way.
51. I promise that I AM skipping many, many things on this massive list.
52. Another casino and I broke down and had ONE Earl of Sandwich…sandwich.
53. Yes, you better believe I carved out 30 minutes for the lazy river…I LOVE lazy rivers and any pool that has one.
54. Bar seats were under water at this place.
55. In a moment where I temporarily misplaced my wallet, and we had a discussion about my hat also, I admitted I would probably rank losing my hat as worse than losing my wallet.
56. Wait…Charles Woodson is back with the Raiders…again…what?
57. I feel like I will be 60 years old and someone will be close to signing Jermaine O’Neal.
58. I feel like I will be 60 years old and someone will be close to signing Ichiro.
59. If you are curious about what I did after wheels were down in San Diego, I carved out an hour and went and ran into the frigid January ocean water.
60. It was glorious.
61. My colleague, Marty, ALSO packed his swim trunks on top as he assumed from our talks that I was serious about doing this.
62. Props, Marty, as that was a detour in very cold ocean water that most people would just watch me do.
63. Marty and I will get along fine as three of our primary loves in life are whiskey, swimming/ water, and working out.
64. I am skipping all of my stock show notes…just go sometime.
65. Ted Lilly sounds like such an innocent name to be busted for insurance fraud.
66. I am happy the outdoor NHL game is coming to my Denver town next year, but aren’t we a couple years late for the Red Wings-Avs rivalry?
67. I can’t speak for all the Avs fans, but the hatred in this town has turned a little apathetic towards that particular team.
68. Granted, they still don’t like them though.
69. I hope that Peyton Manning makes his decision on whether he comes back or not…like 10 seconds after the Super Bowl is over as the waiting is killing people.
70. Even me, and I don’t even care.
71. I am brainstorming for a mini MINI blog to still keep my daily thing up…I am sure the people subscribing LOVE my attention emails that I am NOT blogging today and just have a dumb picture up.
72. I don’t know if it was a repeat of not, but Blake Shelton on SNL last week was pretty dope.
73. Whatever story I glossed over about Jerramy Stevens, Hope Solo, and a team vehicle and a DUI, I think I am happy about it.
74. I think that the Nuggets are doing a GREAT thing by targeting Reggie Jackson of the Thunder, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Ty Lawson.
75. Lawson is MADE to be someone’s backup PG…kind of like a Nate Robinson.
76. I think 2015 is a key year in my life, because I noticed forgetting a LOT of words when a Dr. Dre Chronic song came on the air the other day…used to be MONEY on that thing start to finish.
77. I LIKE the squad, but don’t love it, and not sure exactly how the Hawks are doing what they are doing.
78. Except that they got a Spurs coach…smart.
79. KU had a great win at Texas a game or two ago, but since I can’t figure out if Texas has made the decision to be really good or not, I am not sure what that means.
80. Lane Kiffin made a smart move in opinion by staying as OC at Bama.
81. Mike Alvarado got his ASS kicked last weekend, and since he is known as a partier, it makes him look worse that it was against an opponent he has already fought TWICE.
82. I think Florida coach Billy Donovan is not prepping for any games except for the Kentucky game right now.
83. I feel like I will be 60 years old and Jermain Taylor will still be doing something wrong.
84. Jermain, I would put you on the Rant Squad but I have a feeling we won’t be seeing you for a while.
85. Let’s put Pete Rose, Roger Clemens, and Barry Bonds in a room, and tell them whoever makes it out goes into the HOF.
86. I have another invention in my artillery, and the Frostzip and Tripod are now joined by Big Table/ Rotation/ Conveyor (still working on name).
87. I could tell you what it does but then I would have to kill you.
88. I think Ray Allen is just chilling on his couch for another month or two, and THEN take the incoming calls for the team he likes best.
89. I really wanted Shaun White to take just ONE more X Games event.
90. Mock drafts are fun because after the first couple picks, Mel Kiper can get like 1 out of each grouping of ten right and still have a job next year.
91. As soon as that one pick occurs, I imagine him nodding his head and mouthing “I told you so.”
92. I think there should be more Seinfeld fans out there and that Deflategate SHOULD have been named “Shrinkage.
93. I was going to go through standings and NBA snubs, but that sounds like a lot of work today.
94. That’s it.  Skipping pics.  Skipping lots on list.  Let’s just get back to “caught up” so I can start a new list.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am getting the flock out of here.
95. And…Wahoowa. Two days until the big game and a game on the schedule that will truly show what’s up.