Ummm…ok…SURE. Fantastic choice.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Not an airplane rant.  Evening rant.  Semi-speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  I don’t feel like organizing a hook line sinker one, and Lindsey is out, so let’s roll.  No promises.
2. I stayed up later last night during the DeAndre Jordan thing last night like it was a hostage situation or military standoff. Twitter was blowing up, and I read some interesting takes on it this morning.  Here is mine.  First, he did nothing wrong by the rules.  It is a yearly “verbal commitment” by players to join teams.  Blame the rules and system if you want.  Maybe he was scared of being the man.  Maybe he realized he would miss Los Angeles.  Maybe he decided he could finally tolerate Chris Paul.  Maybe he just felt uncomfortable with the change.    He is now happier and good for him and the Clippers.  To add to this, it is not like the Clippers stalked him.  They REACTED when he made the phone call of uncertainty.  So, let’s go to the other side of the equation.  The Mavs got a verbal from him, so they relaxed a little during free agency at the center position knowing that the hole was filled.  Then the dominoes fell for other teams, and all other centers vanished.  Now this.  He SCREWED them.  I don’t care if he is happy.  I will never root for him or his team ever again.  And don’t give me “he is just a young guy” excuse.  He has people helping him.  He literally put the Mavs years behind any rebuilding plan with a Dirk in his very late 30’s.  Who will go there now?  Who are they building around?  Props to Cuban for telling Wesley Matthews he could leave also if he joined because of the Jordan building block, and more props to Matthews for staying.  This thing was a mess.  The only two situations I remember like this were Boozer 2004 and McDyess some other year.  Wrong, DeAndre.  I hope you all fail.  Somehow, in some basketball miracle, I will be rooting like crazy for the Mavs next year.  That will be tough to do I have a feeling though.  Sad.  
3. Yes, Clippers. Stay interested in Josh Smith so I can REALLY hate you next year.  
4. So, JPP had his finger amputated. I would feel worse for him, but he is kind of an ass anyway in general.
5. I have realized that I have read so many past articles on the Redskins logo that I am not even totally sure what is going on with this new judge’s ruling to cancel the trademark, and I don’t have the energy to look it up yet.
6. Lindsey and I are working on the whole wedding thing, and, as always about anything in life, I feel MUCH better in our progress since I made a spreadsheet last night.  Not much on it, but I HAVE a spreadsheet.  Everything will now come together.  
7. Lindsey went to watch the Minion movie tonight.  Love those guys.  Not enough to see them on opening night on a school night, but still love them.  
8. I love spreadsheets. Not as much as flow charts (that would be impossible), but I do like a lot.  Not much can top a good flow chart.  
9. If my cat Jackson bothers me at all, I just crush up a legal pad paper in a ball, throw it, and I buy myself about 15 minutes of peace.
10. Dude is getting big.  Don’t have a pic on my PC handy.  Noted for next time.
11. The home run derby draw has been completed, and the bracket is set. I don’t really care.  Some new rules about swinging for 5 minutes and no 10 out rules.  Sounds…exhausting and an injury waiting to happen to me.  Pujols is BACK, people.  Pujols is…hurt.
12. I might be older, but I still like to be where the action is. Therefore, you could easily draw the conclusion that I am doing light research on this Gronk Cruise.  
13. Seriously.
14. Where IS Gronk Island?  Could we possibly be using one of those desolate islands near Costa Rica Jurassic Park used?  
15. Especially since I missed the running of the bulls again this year, which is STILL in the top 5 of my bucket list.  I will do it.  My only rule in life.  Die in a cool or exciting way if I am going to die.  
16. I believe Matt Bonner and his holding his heavier iPhone injury. Dude had a sweet stroke and went flat.  And these phones these days ARE huge.
17. And that guy is so funny anyway.  
18. How someone has THREE tennis Grand Slams and STILL gets pummeled EVERY single time to the SAME player, no matter what the caliber, is amazing to me. Maria just can’t buy one against Serena.  And why couldn’t they face in the FINALS?  Love hearing…errrr….I mean…WATCHING Maria play tennis.  Yes.  
19. So, now it is Serena against…who cares. She will win.
20. Wait.  One more Maria photo.  
21. Just kidding. Muguruza is #19, and has made the quarters in the French two years.  She is only 21, so she has a future.  Not really hot though.  Boring.
22. I admit to not knowing much about whatever the hell is going on with this Marshawn Lynch biopic/ movie thing.  Not sure at all, and not retracing my steps.
23. Olbermann and ESPN parted ways again. If I was a successful sports guy, I have already said I would be Jim Rome. In personality most likely.  Maybe a touch of Olbermann too.  
24. Basically, I was saying knowledgeable as hell, hard to get along with, sometimes funny, very abrasive in my opinions, not very likable, but interesting still.
25. I guess my 15 minutes is up. New legal paper.  Cat is staring me down behind the laptop.
26. Every couple has its TV differences and I have discussed many times ours, but kind of refreshing she can watch Shark Week shows for hours.  Would you like to watch Snapped, Girls, Penny Dreadful, or Shark Week????  
27. Amy Schumer is a really, really funny lady. Lindsey still might have to find a friend to go to the THEATER for her new movie, but I am down when the video comes out.
28. She asked me if I thought Amy Schumer was pretty the other night.  I answered “I think she portrays herself very accurately as fun and sometimes borderline cute, but then not so much other times.”  
29. I would like to thank Vlade Divac for informing me that George Karl and DeMarcus Cousins are still having problems in getting along. That is GROUNDbreaking.    Now I can sleep at night.  Big news.  
30. And more groundbreaking that DeMarcus doesn’t get along with (noun).
31. Mad libs. My answer is everyone on earth.  
32. Ray McDonald is charged with domestic violence. All of my possible Rant Squad candidates go SOOOO overboard.  What ever happened to relatively harmless creativity when committing a crime?  Don’t do anything bad to women, people, animals, etc., but just do dumb stuff at strip clubs, carry firearms and drugs but don’t shoot anyone, be drunk in public, etc.  Dammit, Ray.  You were a strong one.
33. LeBron James continues to allow the Cavs to have future flexibility for future salary cap fluctuations, signing a two year contract for $40 plus million. Not a bad salary, and probably within about a third of what he should get paid.  Only guy in the NBA NOT overpaid.  Yes, I am primarily talking to YOU, Joe Johnson.  
34. Yes, Roger, we are moderately interested in what you decide on the Golden Boy.
35. And classy is just classy. Bowen allowed Aldridge to use his previously retired number.  We need a Spur to go to a strip club and do something bad, because that group of guys is just so GOOD.
36. Silicon Valley is such a fun show. Almost caught up finally after knocking out a few last night.  
37. And I talked about the show nonstop but haven’t watched the new version yet. Need to sign off and figure out when the hell my old school show Battlebots is on.  
38. That’s it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.