We have to go. It is 318.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Sunday afternoon rant.  Speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  As you might have seen in my late night blog post last night, I lost my blog list.  I spent last night and brunch this morning re-creating Vegas, sports news, and all the thoughts that rolled through my mind.  Let’s see how I do.
2. Doing one sentence style, people. For newbies, I have to capture my opinion in one sentence thoughts.  For you old school people, it means it will be shorter, have more pictures, and you know I am utterly exhausted from doing “non-work/ visiting casino for work” style.  One sentence each.  Here we go.
3. First of all and much more important than my dribble, thoughts, prayers, and respect to the family of Stuart Scott, who I hope have people saying “Boo-yah” at the funeral and was truly, TRULY as cool as the other side of the pillow.  
4. I am watching the Cowboys-Lions game (I LOVE the Lions in this one), and while Mr. Buck was complimenting a coordinator for the Lions, he was ABRASIVELY picking his nose on Live TV.
5. We shared a cab, so it saves money, but the only thing scarier than a Boston group in Vegas is a Boston group on no sleep in Vegas-didn’t get in many words except for “yes, we will split a cab with you.”  
6. I would say that one of my favorite conversations in the last few months was my airport conversation with Mike, a Vietnam Marine recon guy.
7. Hindsight is 20-20, but if I had to do it all over again, I think I would have gotten over the Navy SEALS sight requirements and been a Marine recon so I could still jump from helicopters, repel down cliffs, and stuff.
8. I, of course, still did those things…just not for my country.  
9. I just got a new Droid Turbo for my upgrade, and it took me 15 minutes to figure out how to take pictures on NYE right before the fireworks…thanks, Lindsey.
10. Thanks, boss-sick…if you like massive dunks by young kids.https://vine.co/v/OwOjjYi0KJb
11. It was cold for Vegas people, but I personally think Times Square (yes, I did it) is overrated in comparison to the NYE Vegas party.  
12. And I am a judge that has been to the best, people…or at least more than most people.  
13. For example, rookies think Mardi Gras is a fantastic party, and it is, but Jazz Fest is better…room to walk around.  
14. I went to Ghostbar, which is at The Palms, and thank God we got in for free, because although it was cool with $20 drinks with a great view of The Strip, I still would have preferred to be somewhere else after about 30 minutes.  
15. NOT before I invented a new dance called “Chase the White Light.”
16. It is fun, and you can dance any way you want WHILE chasing the white spotlight on the ground.  
17. You can only win so many games with a third string QB, and I feel kind of dumb for thinking Arizona would beat their losing record opponent.
18. I won with Oregon.
19. I lost with the Bama-OSU under…by a lot.
20. It is nice to lose a little but then realized you have a couple hundred coming back to you from a bet you made 12 hours ago.
21. Amazing that the Oregon game looked like an under GIMME before the last two quarters.  
22. You are more than welcome to search my past posts, but I have said Oregon was going to win this entire thing for about 9-10 weeks.
23. Basically, I have been saying it since the Oregon comeback against a very good Michigan State defense.
24. I was sold that night.
25. Blackjack “Switch” is my new favorite game of all time…2 hands and you can make a signal to combine your hands…dirty, fun, energetic game.
26. Jesse, I have no idea how many times in an hour I said “Bigger picture” or “Stagger, stagger, stagger,” but fun playing cards with you.
27. If you are wondering where Lindsey was at that time, we had a coupon for the High Roller, I have never seen her drink Patron, and let’s just say I feel I made money that night because she was…sleepy.  
28. Four shots is better in 30 minutes than five I would have to say.
29. I find it odd I have random Vegas pitcures but NO High Roller pics…must have been a good time for both of us.
30. But I did get uninterrupted gambling time.  
31. I would post the picture of that, but feel like that is crossing the line.
32. We have rules.
33. I would also post the picture of the female fake cop of her on The Strip, but, once again, I try to keep within the lines.
34. We have rules, and you never know…she might get her own blog someday.
35. So, the new Rob Lowe commercial with the meathead version basically is like 80% of the guys I hung out with in high school in NJ.  
36. I used to stand behind a row of 8 Italians at a strip club asking what we were mad at and what line of defense I was.
37. I think the silent No More commercials should have just kept to athletes…the TV and entertainer people are kind of ruining it.
38. The Colts won today against a once again underperforming Bengals team, I still think the Colts don’t have any defense or running game, but still think they might make it a fun game against Peyton and friends.
39. I don’t watch a TON of UFC, but Jon Jones IS the baddest man on the planet AND watching this upcoming Conor McGregor will be pretty awesome.  
40. That is one crazy, badass dude who I would NOT put myself in line to fight at any time in life.
41. By the way, anyone wanting to go to the Broncos-Colts game, I happen to have an endzone close ticket that I am more than willing to sell…to the highest bidder.
42. Independently, one of Lindsey’s friends who is one of my favorites, Amy, came to Vegas, and although we were at the tail end of our visit and she just arrived, her Wildfire (energetic-fun) nickname is very well deserved and her man, Marcus, is the shit.
43. Marcus, remember I am still coming to Phoenix to hack up one of your local golf courses with you and my NOT plus two handicap.
44. I feel like I didn’t find a business card of where to send four pics on my phone from the High Roller-great pic though.  
45. We can crack on Texas football all we want whether we are named after the main drag in Norman or not, but picking up Michael Irvin’s nephew was pretty fancy.
46. I think I am more amazed by dumb tweets by athletes because when I was in Vegas and having fun, and the LAST thing on my mind was writing 140 characters or less to a population that may or may not care.
47. Late entry on editing-thanks, Avery, and this is SO me.  
48. And I WILL say that I do Vegas CORRECTLY, and if you go for fun and stay more than three nights, than you are doing it wrong.
49. Amazing that I stayed off The Strip at The Palms, which is right across from The Voodoo Lounge, and didn’t cross the street.  
50. Voodoo Lounge, aside from the prices, is my favorite fancy bar on Earth…outside of maybe Drai’s.
51. I don’t think they have PBR.  
52. I love that a city in Oregon changed a city’s name because of the college football playoff.
53. I love that Mr. Jagr just got a hat trick, as he is one of the last remaining players I USED when I DID play any sort of video game of any sort.
54. That has been a while.  
55. I assume my tangent is because I said “games,” and then think of things such as Halo, but those commercials for American Sniper have me at “hello…” well done.  
56. There is a “reentry” back into the real world after staying in Vegas that I feel like there should be a patented term for.
57. I will mull that one over.
58. I ate a block of Havarti cheese when I got home from the airport and it is the greatest cheese on this Earth, but I was sad today because I did that.  
59. I, of course, will document everything in this blog, so you will know, but I have three MAJOR changes in my life I am doing for 2015 and I am pretty excited about all of them.
60. If you stay at The Palms Place, and walk down the hallway to the SkyTube and optimistically expect a tube you can dive into that will get you to the other building in about 15 seconds, you will be disappointed.  
61. If anyone is staying at the Rio or Palms, please let me know as I found a $41 voucher in my wallet that I forgot to cash out.
62. More on this later about my game, but I assume being a Bengals fan is MUCH more depressing than being a Steelers fan the day after a loss that I was forced to watch on a plane while exhausted from Vegas.  
63. I don’t think I will be able to discuss the Steelers game much in this particular rant.
64. I didn’t see anyone famous for one of the few times in Vegas…interesting.
65. I hung out with Dennis Rodman at a strip club 15 years ago for about 10 minutes…true.  
66. Search my blog and you will know that I am not speaking mistakenly, but I told you Nova is overrated and that Seton Hall will WRECK someone’s bracket this year.
67. I went to UVA, I am now a believer, and a win is a win…especially a road one at a previously top 15 team.  
68. Are we down to THREE unbeaten in college basketball?????
69. Not looking it up, and I was in Vegas when I think I heard that so it might be wrong, but that is a SMALL group.
70. Deadspin is still selling a drone, and if I would have come back a winner from Vegas, I would still be thinking about buying it.  
71. Loser, but not even in same time zone as any past trips…I had two bad nostalgia hours, and I recovered from both…amazing how selling to casinos kind of keeps you more in check.
72. Some dumbass dropped a glass in the hot tub on NYE, it was closed when we wanted a pool (yes, even in cold, cold Vegas weather), we got a couple free spa passes, and I am the FARTHEST thing from being a “spa guy” that you have ever seen.  
73. I mostly just sat in my bathing suit and watched the football game in the lounge area.
74. To the dude who was naked in the co-ed part of the spa, come ON.
75. I think I got hit on while in the hot tub by a foreign dude, but not totally sure.
76. My name for the spa I plan on opening is “Stereotype plus ONE…” Left is the chicks with relaxing music, straight is the guy part with 25 TV’s showing football and playing Metallica, and right is for the guys who DON’T want Metallica and football on while they wear their suits in a tub with other dudes.
77. This is the funniest spa story I have from this trip…I am watching the Oregon game, it is 11-3, some people say wrongly the lower score first, I go into locker room, a guy tells his buddy “we have to go because it is 318, I say “they scored AGAIN?” (thinking he said lower score first) and he says that is the time, not the football score, and he hates American football.
78. It is 20-7 in this football game, and I think that now my boys are out of the playoff hunt, I am rooting for the Lions.
79. My two truths are that I was loopy and hungry, saw a sign for “the world’s greatest hot sandwich” while I was ordering from Earl’s, and then proceeded to buy four more of those sandwiches during my stay there.  
80. Mom, my Roland is named Louis, as he was the Keymaster.  
81. I have “CL-,” “Deadspin Kobe-morons,” and “Deadspin Florida shits pants” on my blog list, but feel like moving along…you are on your own.
82. The Florida one though is pretty funny if you have time.
83. I watched a guy wait at the airport for his bag and throw 50% of the suitcases a foot away that weren’t his.
84. Angry freaking dude.
85. I will watch Taken 3 just to satisfy my curiosity of why people keep taking anything from movie Liam Neeson.  
86. If you are from Louisiana, and somehow ALSO care about basketball as WELL as football, I am amazed you have a top ten basketball recruiting class…props.
87. I was glad I slept through some early football bets, but not very happy about being separated from a sports book right before the UCLA game…I had that game read perfectly.
88. Not changing in your coins before heading to Vegas makes you very happy when you get back home.
89. Impressive little comeback the Cowboys are doing right now.
90. Mom, the cheese if officially gone.
91. I have owned a Pategonia, a Marmot, and a North Face pullover, and I will say that my Loki is the best by far.  
92. SO weird in packing for Vegas and packing snow gear.
93. I am glad that Rajon Rondo admitted to not playing D in Boston, but I love SO much more competitors who just go out and play their heart out.
94. That is why, whether he had a hangover every game or not, NEVER crack on Allen Iverson in front of me.  
95. I do NOT like the new Ghostbusters games, and playing the OLD Ghostbusters with my lady is one of my favorite things in life.
96. Just make the college football playoffs SIX teams and call it a day…as having 5 power conferences and four spots doesn’t work.  
97. Woody Harrelson is a very, very talented guy and watching SNL with him on it last night was fun.  
98. I have never made time to watch ONE show in Vegas until I saw Zarkana last night, it was worth it, and I admit my jaw was by my feet most of the time.  
99. Oddly, the chick painting with sand and the girl who threw around tennis balls were my favorite parts of the show.  
100. We will see the sold out Absinthe NEXT time, Lindsey.
101. It is true that food courts get me by in life, but I promise we will make time for a nice dinner in Vegas next time, Lindsey.
102. My new favorite line in life is “it doesn’t hurt to ask.”
103. Ross, we are eating the pheasant that you shot in less than an hour.
104. JJ, pops, although it is very exhausted pops I will say.
105. If I had my way, I would have Xmas lights in my house at ALL times of the year.
106. Taking down a Xmas is very depressing.
107. Speaking of Xmas trees, here is one with Lindsey in Vegas.  
108. Matthew Stafford made a first down run in the first half that was VERY impressive.
109. Lindsey walks slow anyway, but I think I need to make rules about being on FaceBook on phone WHILE walking.
110. I would say that the best part of Vegas is finding 2 for 1 drink cards on the way OUT.
111. Who names their kid, Joique?
112. Because of that dumbass dude who dropped a glass in the hot tub, I went to my FIRST hotel ever without seeing the pool.  
113. I want an Australian accent…once again.  
114. I met a guy, Tobias, at Ghostbar, who ALSO had an accent and we bonded because I like Dirk Nowitzi and he was from Germany.  
115. I never got around to asking him whether the “w” was pronounced as a “w” or “v.”\
116. Here was the Lamborghini that was parked outside of our hotel…obviously he had better luck on Ghostbusters or in life than I did.  
117. I would highly suggest getting a Bahama Mama at Margaritaville in Vegas and then walking to wherever you are going.
118. I would definitely hire Doug Marrone for ANY football job.
119. I didn’t know that Real Madrid had won that many games in a row, Valencia.
120. Harbaugh says that Joe Flacco is the best QB in the NFL…EAS…Y.
121. I did that on purpose…meant to have the three dots between eas and y just to make you say it slower and understand how silly it is.  
122. Greg Hardy won $48k for not playing in the Panthers playoff game win…must be nice.
123. Maybe Troy Polamalu is not that old, but waiting until next year DOES make me think he is older than he should be.
124. I think I have suddenly become a Lions fan because one of my favorite people/ friend/ colleague, Ponto is from Michigan and has had a very, very tough couple weeks…if my team is out, then his can win it.
125. On editing, they lost-dammit.
126. Andrew Luck has the loudest voice…in the world.
127. Watching an old guy play Tiny Dancer at a Vegas casino was one of my Vegas highlights.
128. Going over 100 hooks just feels normal these days.
129. If you made it this far, I will send you my Steelers Wildcard Winners 2015 T-Shirt.
130. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  As one of shepherd said to the other, I am going to get the flock out of here.