Welcome back, Bryce. Been a while.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Not an airplane rant.  Afternoon rant.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Typically, with Lindsey doing Mother’s Day stuff, and me home alone, this would be an uninterrupted outlet that might get in the 100’s.  But, I have a head cold after traveling.  So, my hooks will be more sarcastic because I feel like shit, which is good.  But, being on my laptop sounds kind of laborious, so the hooks will be quick.  Let’s move.
2. I am sitting here watching Game 4 of the Bulls-Cavs. Combine the fact that Kevin Love is done so therefore they won’t beat ANYONE in the West at not full strength, and add in that we ALL should root for Derrick Rose as injuries have limited his career growth (still got a MVP out of it), I am trying to figure out HOW the Cavs will take this series and am OK with the Bulls advancing as of today.  
3. I am not hip, and don’t know what is new and what is not. But, I will say the Jack Black-Jimmy Fallon “More than Words” skit almost had me on the floor relatively recently…whenever it was released.
4. Every time I want to get mad at guys like Black and Fallon for getting “lucky,” I realize they are very, very talented people also.  Crazy talented people, and I sound bitter.
5. I don’t think Lindsey reads this thing anymore on a regular basis, so it is ok for me to talk about how much she plays Candy Crush. A LOT.  Not sure of the level anymore, Matt.  I don’t ask.  I just jump on ESPN on my phone when she loads up.  
6. JJ, very mild pops (with OJ and vitamin C, as it might help me nap later).
7. I think with Josh Johnson, AJ McCarron, and Andy Dalton on the roster, that although the Ohio return is adorable, Terrelle Pryor needs to consider a position change. I think him and Tim Tebow should go to a strip club and get HAMMERED and talk about it.  Maybe get an Uber and invite Nick Marshall also.  
8. That last hook entertained me, and you are on the wrong blog if you don’t get the jokes.
9. Friday I had some drinks and got stuck on the movie Silverado. LOVE and miss the theme song.  Take a listen.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPWQzq5SQYM  
10. Saturday I had some drinks and got stuck on the only chick flick that sucks me in. American President. LOVE that movie.  All the way to the end.  
11. Bill Simmons won’t be renewed on his contract and I have a few thoughts. One, why did ESPN report it first as “they” won’t renew him? Isn’t it “we?”  I would have thought Si.com would have broken it first and said “they.”  Second, it has to be the money and Simmons cockiness, or a buyout for Grantland, because he has built a mini empire, and thinking NOT a good idea letting him leave.  Third, where does he go?  Doesn’t he crack on Yahoo and Fox, so wouldn’t those not work?  Did he have a backup plan?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LCggmsCXk4  Wherever he goes, let’s hope he writes more than getting on camera.  Brilliant writer, and NOT an on camera dude.
12. Who wants to read Nelson DeMille’s The Quest? I am done. Quality read, and sarcastic as HELL (which I LOVE), although the ending wasn’t DeMille’s typical creative stuff.  I would give it an A with a C ending.  Hell of a salesperson I am.  Well, I am just trying to GIVE it away as my mom taught me with books, so I don’t need to sell.  You learn a lot about Ethiopia I will say.
13. Just give their football program back, OK? $6 million is a LOT of donations.
14. Jimmy Butler was named Most Improved Player. Well deserved and then some. I already knew his story, but went back this week and read it again.  Being kicked out of the house at 13 years old would have freaked out me.  It didn’t freak HIM out.  If you don’t know his deal, go read it.  
15. Tom Izzo usually wins recruiting battles. Not publicized and a HUGE punch in the gut to their recruiting rankings, but MSU lost Caleb Swanigan (#9 recruit in nation) this week. No one is sure what pissed him off, but assuming Matt Painter will be a happy man pretty soon since his guardian is a Purdue guy.  And with 2 seven footers already on the roster, Swanigan can play the 4.  
16. Please tell me when that Brett Favre flag football game is. I want to set up my TIVO as soon as possible.
17. That was a joke, newbies.
18. It sucks of course, but let’s see how Dante Fowler heals. Young kid, strong kid, and plenty of kids get hurt early and make it back.
19. While watching this game, and thinking about the other series, I wish John Wall wouldn’t have gotten hurt. They might have made the Finals with him or a 100% him. They would have gotten smoked in the Finals, but it would have been a good story.  
20. By the way, everyone hope that the Bulls make the Finals, because the other 3 teams will get SMOKED by ANYONE over there, no matter HOW tired they are.  The Bulls at least have the healthy tools to give someone a run.  
21. We will talk with you during your third retirement, Josh.
22. Why do I care if Brandon Marshall was “almost” a Patriot, and are we THAT starved on sports stories?  The only thing I got out of that article was that him and Cutler haven’t spoken, but apparently, his wife is pretty cool.  
23. I can feel my head cold attitude leaking into my blog now.  I will try and not be mean.
24. I think Jerramy Stevens should just live in jail, so not depressed about the latest announcement. I wish he would have taken Hope Solo with him, but I am old enough to know you can’t get everything you want in life.  
25. I think the Clippers win today at home. I think they take the Rockets in the series, and the Rockets realize they have talent, but not IT. I will say it again.  Dwight Howard can NOT win a title.  Then, the Clippers will get either GS or Memphis.  Weird to say, but I think I would rather get the Warriors when you do matchups with those teams.  I truly believe NO one EVER wants to play the Griz healthy.
26. Can we start thinking about a Griz-Bulls Finals with the older-younger brother matchup?  Nope.  You are right.  Too soon.  
27. Things could get REAL if Austin Rivers suddenly starts playing like he did the other night (I doubt that will happen though).  I still don’t like the kid, and think he is overrated in HIS mind.  
28. I will say it again. I already respect LeBron James. IF he even gives the Bulls a 6 or 7 game series, I will respect him MORE, if that is possible.  If he pushes them to the brink with the skeleton crew he has, that is IMPRESSIVE.
29. I have written on my blog list a word that I didn’t know what my point was, I Googled it, was horrified, and then understood what I meant.  Not including it.  Too much explaining to do.
30. What is the over under for hearing “more probably than not” at least 100 times each quarter in everyone’s personal sports conversations over the next year. By the way, wrong or right, HORRIBLE way to say it.
31. I am caught up now on GOT. Thank you for not sending any spoiler emails or texts.  
32. I think it is fair that if I say to Lindsey “I don’t need to watch any basketball game on TV” that she should also take that as “that means you can’t watch Intervention or Snapped.”
33. I need to catch up on Silicon Valley too tonight or tomorrow. No vacations for me for a while.  Seriously LOVE this show I stumbled on and you should too.  
34. I like the show Sharktank. I admit it.  Some of the products I hit myself for not inventing.  I will take the Tripod, Frostzip, and that other one I forget about on the show at some point.
35. Winston lawyers are filing a countersuit. Drag this thing out like a Brett Favre comeback in the early 2000’s.  
36. Of COURSE Peyton won’t have any comments on Tom Brady. He is too busy looking innocent in his next Buick commercial.  High, freaking, road, bro.  
37. The Players’ leaderboard had like NO one on it with any big wins. The big winners were all at the bottom. THAT is why, when I scanned the leaderboard this morning, I knew either Sergio would step up as the closest thing to having a resume, or Bill Haas would make a move being the guy everyone and their mother is WAITING to win a big one.  The other guys are a waste in the best non Major non Major.  
38. Lindsey talked me into going to Sprouts yesterday for grocery shopping to try and get me away from processed stuff. I bought a few things, but then still had to go to Safeway. Here is the deal.  Positive?  Buying pumpernickel for my sandwiches.  Negative?  I think Cheerios qualifies to be in your store, you uppity organic place.  Why don’t more people eat Pumpernickel?  It is the best bread…ever.  
39. Ok, ok. I will do a test run today. Bryce Harper was my signoff for a couple years, and then he suddenly started sucking.  I cancelled the signoff.  He is en fuego.  I will try it out today.  Bryce, you better keep on trucking.  This is a bold move by The Fillerbuster.  
40. I watched the Mayweather fight last night. I now can talk about it knowledgeably. Here is the deal.  It was actually closer than I thought it was by reading stuff, still was a clear Floyd win, and I saw no facial indications that Manny’s shoulder was bothering him until AFTER he started losing the fight.
41. Floyd is such a good boxer.  
42. Canelo’s knockout in the prime time fight lends me to think once again a rematch with him to go to 50-0 is a fight I would like to see.  
43. Usually it is just the OKC Thunder, but a LOT of star players getting hurt in NBA playoffs this year.  Kind of bringing down everything a tad.
44. I see that Don Shula has gotten into the Tom Brady bashing, and what really do you say to a guy who coached the ONLY undefeated team in the history of the Super Bowl era??? You can’t say anything, Hoodie.  
45. Neymar scored his 50^th Barcelona goal, and I have no idea why I am writing about it.
46. I think “more probably than not” Tom Brady will either miss a game or two or go on “double secret probation.”  
47. Almost to the French Open/ Nadal Open. Sure, the warm up matches don’t lend one to think Nadal will win, but I haven’t seen anything in like forever to suggest that he WON’T win again. My vote is with him.  You do whatever.  If he is 80% or more, he will win.  Done and done.  
48. Bob and I discussed what tennis event we would attend. Wimbledon is the hip pick, but I think I would take the French. Clay is slightly cooler than grass in my book.  Maybe I could find a Groupon for buying both online.
49. Interesting article in ESPN Mag about a kid we will hear about soon who is on the pace of Phelps when he was 16. A couple recognizing his possible greatness, and working him ridiculously to get him to the Olympics. Not even allowed to date.  Sounds like a wake up when you are 25 and realize you have been in a pool for your entire life.  Michael Andrews is the kid’s name.  Remember it.  He is coming.  
50. What the HELL is that dope song in the Applebee’s commercial that is out. Some chick laying down a rap in a 30 second commercial.  I don’t have the app that tells me the song.  I jam out more and more each time I see the commercial.
51. Mom, I already told you this in your card, but I love you so much. I had enough gifts to become famous at something, my parents who were school teachers gave me everything I needed to do those things (even though it was unfair from a budget perspective), I spread myself out too far and became just good at everything and not incredible at anything, but know that the good person I am is because of my mom. And if I wasn’t that good person, I wouldn’t have found Lindsey, meaning I would be really pissed and lonely right about now.  Thanks, Mom.  I let you down with what you gave me as a kid as far as resources, but know the genuineness of my soul is something I couldn’t have done without you.  Happy Mother’s Day.
52. I think my Twitter buddy, Lost Lettermen, just exchanged on Saturday night one night of 50 Shades of Grey for TWELVE college football Saturdays unmolested. Smart dude.  
53. If Scarlett had done that film, I would have already seen it like 25 times.  Maybe 100.  
54. 47-40. Just wondering who is going to be banking one in tonight.
55. I stayed outside of New Orleans the other night on a work trip, and ended up in Kenner, which had this cool, adorable riverboat casino a block from the hotel. Place was popping, if you include a dancing crowd with an age group between 60-80.  Too lazy and sick to include photos today.
56. If I was Kris Bryant and came back after my first HR to an empty dugout, I would have made a SHOW out of it and started high fiving the walls and stuff. But that is me.  It would have been like the baseball Fight Club.  
57. I live by two rules. Mac and Cheese is the best, and putting an egg on anything is a great idea. How I just had this the other day disturbs me.  
58. I am going to get it more runny next time though.  The District.  AWESOME place, and although we showed up at 11, it opens at 8am.
59. Demon Kitty photos.  None today, and no energy to figure out that download I want to show you.  He will continue to be a demon, I will continue to blog, and you will continue to see some pics.
60. For you people who think that Denver got a blizzard in May, it snowed, and now is almost gone now due to a warmer rest of the day. We get a bad rap on the weather channel. This place is dope to live in.
61. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am going to get the flock out of here.  ORRRRRRRRRR, since Bryce is raking lately, let’s do THIS.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace (damn, that felt good).