What would Ryan Lochte do?

August 18, 2016 Filler

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock. Yes, it is an airplane cast (again-have to obviously get BACK home). Thursday afternoon blog way above earth (again). Semi-speed version (again). Let’s turn and burn.

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Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for coming aboard the boat. The plane. Let’s move.
This won’t be that long of blog. Not enough room in my seat to be comfortable.
And this won’t be edited at all as all airplanes aren’t, but I have a couple pics for you from Spokane. Since I am either a professional photographer or I just have a good camera phone, they are pretty good.
I will get to Lochte. Trust me. Just building up my thoughts from what just broke before I got on the plane.
Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians is so incredible. I think everyone would want to play for him in the NFL. Dude gets hospitalized, and then when asked about how the team is doing without him, he said “I did it on purpose.” I would love to have drinks with you.
The LLWS is going on? Geez, I keep track of things even in my sports “down season.”
The Olympics have jacked my down season up. This is usually when I DON’T watch sports.
Really weird story about that Ahmad Bradshaw kid from West Point suddenly leaving the program right AFTER their affirmation ceremony. Considering the talent behind him at the position, it couldn’t have been that. Must be off the field or academic issues…or saying he would serve five years suddenly bothered him.
I sound like a broken record, but leave the A-Rod thing off the wire…PLEASE. I just need a small break. Doesn’t have to be long. Just need…a break.
That is a weird situation regarding the USA women’s 4×100. A re-run? The other lane DID hit Felix’s hand, it deserves a re-run, but that is going to be WEIRD with no one else running against them. I want to watch.
Love it. The dudes who built planes must have been pretty smart.
I think back in the day I read Airplane by Crichton just BECAUSE I wasn’t smart enough to figure out on my own how these things were flying.
At least the Southwest flight attendant didn’t bring the pretzels after taking my drink order and THEN have to sit down for turbulence. See? I find the positive in everything.
They are still in first, I still think they will come back around, but crazy that Bryce Harper has been hitting .143 and screwing up fantasy players I assume, and Strasburg’s ERA has gone from 2.63 to 3.59.
Weird that except for Happ from Toronto, no pitcher is really raking in the win-loss column percentage wise.
Hey, the USA men’s basketball team…looked like the USA men’s basketball team.
Well, Argentina is the weakest of the upset contenders in my opinion though. Hold your excitement.
When I tuned into the video about another McGregor-Diaz presser incident, I did NOT expect to see water bottles being thrown around. Great stuff. Corny, probably manufactured, but fun regardless.
ESPN just released its preseason NFL rankings. I love lists and rankings, and my short take is this. You have Seattle, Arizona, NE, GB, Carolina, and Pittsburgh as contenders, you have the Broncos in their OWN category because of the QB situation with some weapons and an incredible defense, you have the Raiders and Vikings as “dangerous” teams, you have a cluster of teams no one cares about but WILL produce a couple of surprises, and then you have the runts of the litter. I disagree with the Titans being that low personally, but everyone has perfect opinions when they haven’t played a game yet.
And I am sure I forgot some teams. Don’t email about that. I had some notes, and don’t feel like checking the paper right now.
Let’s check in again on preseason NFL standings. I think not.
I got an exit row, but it is aisle (I have flown into Denver enough to get the idea). My wounded, wrapped knee from the Alpine Slide is just BEGGING for someone to run into it.
Great story about the USA women sweeping the hurdles, but still have no idea why the men’s distance is 110 and the women’s is 100.
LeBron wants to be out there with the USA team, LeBron wants to own his own team, and LeBron doesn’t realize this is our DOWN time with you, sir. Just shhhhhhh for a little bit.
I am sure I had something funny to say about Harbaugh’s $4 million increase in life insurance, but I just can’t place it right now. Moving on.
I was reading an article the other day and laughed out loud. “The USA is trying to win their first BMX gold in the sport that they invented.” That is funny.
Yes, there was an actual written story that someone spent time on about Simone Biles eating donuts after the Olympics.
My work computer kicks out so much heat that I think the person next to me just turned on the air midflight because of it.
Derrick Rose doesn’t retract his “Super Team” comment, meaning he was on longer lasting drugs than we initially feared. That must be some POTENT stuff, bro.
TSA Precheck is incredible (again)…except oddly in Spokane the initial wait line for TSA was longer than the normal line. I was going to take a picture of it for you, but I was scared I would lose the photo boarding pass on my phone (I like paper).
I don’t think Olympic track athletes should apologize for diving over the finish line. It is within the rules. I just want the IOC to change the damn rules so there is no debate.
When I get in my blog zone, I don’t even change the songs on my shuffle. Yes, I still have the Shuffle. The more complex and phone plugins scare me. This gets me by just fine. I will buy them until they stop making them.
Thompson from Jamaica won the women’s 200. I watched one of the prelims. Chick has JETS. A small country that produces SO many top notch runners. I hope we never find anything wrong with their athletes…for Bolt’s legacy and for track and field in general over the last 15 years or so.
HERE come the pretzels. Then I can say to the people around me “These pretzels are making me thirsty” and then realize Seinfeld has been off the air for a long time.
The Bills haven’t made the playoffs in SIXTEEN years. That is a long time with the amount of teams that make is each year. Throw that in the ring with losing four straight Super Bowls and that is a problem.
Tonight is the 200 final unless you live in a bubble.
And the ONE guy who can beat Bolt, ex-doper and not liked Justin Gatlin, didn’t even make the finals. Bolt against the clock trying to get the under 19 time.
Bolt doesn’t need Gatlin in the race. He is usually racing against himself ANYWAY.
Darren Sharper got sentenced 18 years in prison…or…2 years more than the minimum number of chicks he dosed and raped. What a tragic story that is to an athlete we used to love.
Pretzels AND peanuts. DOUBLE thirsty. WHERE is my Coke Zero now?
Just kidding. Just like the Marshmallow study in the 80’s, I failed and couldn’t wait.
Lochte. So, I had work all day, and the last thing I read in my catchup before the flight was that there was no robbery, and the guns were from security forces AFTER the dudes vandalized a bathroom. PERFECT. I mean…perfect. Here are my thoughts.
No one liked Lochte before, and now he goes out on an even lower note. Love it.
He didn’t even beat Phelps.
How is that bleached hair idea feeling NOW, buddy? Didn’t even notice you in that video…not.
You sound more idiotic because you even EMBELLISHED it, saying that you had a gun pointed at your forehead.
And you getting home SO fast now looks SO bad with your teammates still there. Way to cheer on the rest of the athletes, liar.
Guess he is not beloved by teammates because they were quick to sell him out.
How many jokes in 30 seconds can you make with this incident and his past television show called “What would Ryan Lochte do?”
I got to 3 and started laughing.
A woman from USA Today, Nancy Armour wrote an article (today) about how everyone ELSE was the idiot for overblowing this situation. THAT article looks a little dumber right about now. Should have held out on that one, Nancy.
Listen, we ALL knew there was more to this, and IT DELIVERED.
Go make another TV Show, Ryan Lochte. “No One Likes Me and My Bleached Hair.”
In finance news, Bryan Szabatura still owes me $40, and I owe Vince Roe Sr. a beer.
No prizes, Rudy.
I am SO excited to get off this plane, into an Uber at 5pm, and hit the rush hour on 70. I will have plenty of time to post pics and post blog.
Here are my thoughts on Spokane in one 15 minute car stop by from airport and a 90 minute walking tour at dinner.
Monito Park is actually a garden that even dudes might find slightly cool.
Since you can walk in between terminals and your car rentals are ALL in the terminal, it automatically ranks in my top 15 of all airports. Yes, Denver you suck because you have a train in between terminals AND a rental car shuttle.
I didn’t find an adjective-animal place to have a good beer and eat, but Satellite’s grilled ham and cheese with HASHBROWNS was delicious. EVERYONE needs to serve hashbrowns at ALL times.
I was underwhelmed driving through Gonzaga. It was just ok.
You apparently HAVE to see the falls when you go there, and I did. You walk ALL the way down to the bottom, get a great view, and then have to walk ALL the way back up. Worth it without a doubt, but it is like Spokane’s version of Red Rocks with people jogging all over the place. Exhausting walk up.
Do NOT try and park and then go see the falls. Not happening.
I still use paper maps if at all possible. People are more apt to help me with their local advice too if I carry a map.
Born & Raised IPA is a very good beer out of Spokane (stealing your thunder, Peter King).
Don’t go to Spokane YET. There was construction at the airport, in the downtown area, and in the parks. I would wait for them to build whatever they are building.
Hopefully, the construction is fixing their very odd and difficult to drive downtown area. Multi-lane streets merging on multi-lane streets. I parked my rental as soon as possible.
I loved O’Doherty’s by the park, and thought Fast Eddie’s was too…fake sporty.
Yes, I found Lunchables for my before bed snack. I am the king of Lunchables.
Overall, I liked the city. Mainly because of rivers all over the place, but not too big and not too small of town.
Pics posted in Uber on way home from airport as DIA is SO far from downtown as locals know and it makes the time go faster.
Greg, this only took about 45 minutes to write total with 10 minutes for the pics. Passes the time.
But it was NOT a short one like I promised.
That’s it. I have other computer stuff to do. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro.