Yo. It’s about that time…

October 26, 2014 Filler

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Kind of on the clock. Afternoon rant, limited time in a day, and I am going to TRY and blog during commercials of Steelers game. Starting a blog at 5pm sounds a little late. So, this is one of the first “disjointed” blogs. Usually, I get me roll by doing everything all at once. This is a 2-5pm three hour blog DURING the game. Let’s turn and burn.

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Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for coming aboard (the ship). I went to a gay bar during the early games, so I am technically catching up on highlights right before the Steelers game.
Shout out to my friend, Jeremy. Got called a “faggot” this weekend and posted it on FB. Sad, sad, sad, people. I had to pinch myself to remind myself we are in 2014. Get over it, haters. Stop calling out things that make you “uncomfortable.” Do whatever you want to do behind YOUR closed doors and I won’t judge you. Say those types of things in public and I WILL judge you. As a naïve, ignorant, immature, loser. Back off. He kept the post up because maybe it would make a difference. We should be past the time where a post needs to make a difference. Grow up, everyone.
I will write full time during this game once they are up two touchdowns (probably won’t happen).
Lindsey is under the weather. She just woke up and asked what the sound in our condo was. She thought it was a robot attacking us. I put her at ease by telling her that the dishwasher was on and that I was also washing clothes.
Steelers are wearing the bee uniforms. I dressed as a bee last night. Good Karma.
Game has started. Disjointedness begins.
JJ. Pops. Mild, but still there.
Bill Cowher needs to realize he is doing a combover. Just shave it, bro. I thank my grandfather who paved the way with having hair late in his life…but I would shave my hair in a heartbeat if I was at the cross comb stage.
I would love to make fun of the Southwest dancing commercial, but I have danced to all of those songs in the last 3 months…and maybe even requested them.
Yup. Man Crush. Correct. #3.
You can make of fun of me for having a man crush on Tom Brady…but he got me 58 points today in fantasy, and that is not even the highest of the season. He is #4. Have a good locker room chat, Brandon Marshall.
You are not comfortable in your own skin if you can’t admit who good looking guys are. Just saying. Take a deep breath. I might talk about it MORE than others, but everyone can talk about it.
It was tough picking who I was rooting for during the Bengals-Ravens game. I hate them both. I took who I picked in the office pool. Bengals. Home team.
Ummm. Anyone else notice that the AFC North will all be above .500 after today if a couple things happen. Poor man’s SEC West.
Lindsey doesn’t think Andy Dalton is a good looking ginger. I do.
Hello, friends. Is “outyardaged” a word?
By the way, I have said the Jets suck. I even picked them today, and they lost at home to Buffalo. AND Vick came in for his antics and that is what I was hoping for. Wow, they suck and they are a circus.
I almost rolled off my barstool when they flashed the stat that Geno Smith had 3 INT’s and TWO completions at one point.
I went to the grocery store on an empty stomach today so I of course I got easy cheese. It is sitting next to me. I have decided that eating Easy Cheese straight up is my new official celebration after a Steelers touchdown.
NOW, Lindsey finds the Ickey Woods cold cuts commercial funny. It took time, but she broke down.
I FEEL something. The Steelers are going to win this thing. Boom goes the dynamite.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no
HOLD ON. New information. She is sitting next to me, and has informed me she LIKED the Ickey commercial initially, but just didn’t know who exactly he was.
Jeopardy is still on the TV? With NEW episodes?
And for the record, I went 3 for 3 on my big picks. Even though I lost the following three, I would of course have gone bigger on the first three. My #1 pick has come in three weeks in a row. I might need to get back in the game.
Logan. I will probably do your hooks at the end. Still building up.
La Fondue and Gumbo’s on 17^th are the best happy hours for food in Denver. Gumbo’s-awesome service. La Fondue. Just know the food is good-service is like being Ed Norton’d on the curb aside from our friend Elecia.
I almost dressed as a woman last night for Halloween. I didn’t. I confronted my fears and was a bee. Not scared to dress as a girl, but not practical for biking that bike bar thing, I wasn’t dressing as a PARTICULAR woman, I have no fear of doing anything, and I knew I was going to be doing most of the peddling. Which I did. Bee one. Wings, tail, and antenna. And Steelers shirt underneath for what looks like an advertisement.
Bell looks SO good since losing that weight this year. He reminds me of…don’t roll your eyes…a combo of Terrell Davis and Walter Payton. Sweetness with a little straight line speed.
Go to Ian’s Pizza on 17^th in Denver. Get the Mac and Cheese pizza. Do it now. Service was awesome also.
I was out last night, but it is true I tweeted that the Royals being up 4-1 with their bullpen was a LOCK. They got worked. They are still winning in 7, people.
This is funny. I use the phrase “temple of the dog” when I am hungry.http://www.rollingstone.com/music/videos/temple-of-the-dog-reunite-for-hunger-strike-at-bridge-school-benefit-20141026
This is funnier.http://www.salon.com/2014/10/26/jim_carrey_spoofs_matthew_mcconaugheys_lincoln_commercials_on_saturday_night_live/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow
Hey, guy who I saw (Rick) at Blake Street who doubted I know as much as I think about sports as I think I do. You be the judge. We can have a little trivial contest if you would like. Leave your smart phone at home. I know more about sports than you do, bro. But nice speech.
Easy Cheese, take two. Steelers up 14-3.
By the way, it is NOT rocket science. Take a young LSU with talent always, give them a night game at home and a team not used to being where they are at in rankings, and you have a freaking upset.
I texted Shadey from Hayters that I was in the neighborhood. No response. Thought he was the one cool kid from that place. I was wrong. I love pretentious people. I might be a jackass, but I definitely am NOT pretentious.
Easy Cheese take THREE. Defensive touchdown. I believe I have had only 4 drinks but this is so surreal, I am not sure.
I texted Nick, Lindsey’s friend, about Kobe scoring as many points as were scored against Texas Tech the other day by TCU, but again…no answer. Either I piss people off or my phone is broken. Nick is cool…when he feels like being cool.
I want Nebraska to lose every game for the rest of my time because of my past, but I WILL say this Abdullah kid is a STUD. Can’t wait to see him at the next level.
If you haven’t seen the 350 LB lineman throw the TD pass, then Google it. I will not help you. You should have knocked that out already. Great stuff.
Dibs to Lost Letterman, who predicted that the UCLA-CU game would be “weird.” It was. CU didn’t pull it off, but it was crazy stuff.
Bob, your Bruins are one of the worst wastes of time of a team THAT good on paper.
When I think that USC is good over the last decade, they are bad. When I think that USC is bad over the last decade, they are good.
When I think that Utah is good over the last decade, they are bad. When I think that Utah is bad over the last decade, they are good.
Less pictures during editing. Need to get off this laptop.
Watch the ESPN pregame. It is irritating. They are talking about football. It is SO irritating to watch Cris Carter nod as Tom Jackson is saying the sky is blue and talking very, very slow. You guys aren’t splitting the atom. Just tell me whose defenses are better.
I am hearing Lynch might be the next to go in Seattle. Are people sleeping with Wilson’s chicks on a regular basis?
The only reason why I am glad that Mr. Clowney is active is because I am tired of reading about how he MIGHT be active. Think MS football fields and Favre 7 years ago for media coverage.
The Bucs are listening to offers on Doug Martin. Are they celebrating some anniversary of the Walker trade to Minnesota?
NOT saying Martin is Walker. Saying trading him is stupid.
Just to be clear, you are reading a blog written by a dude who is clear about two things in life. The Rob Lowe and Matthew McConaughey commercials are the dumbest things in the history of the world, and Herschel Walker, Michael Jordan, and Bo Jackson are the three greatest athletes I have ever seen or heard about.
They are up TWO touchdowns. This is amazing. I might finish this Easy Cheese before I even take a bathroom break.
There are apparently FIVE London games being planned for 2015. A) Why don’t we target New Zealand or Australia where rugby is at least similar to American football and B) I will pick up Golden Tate again next year as it is nice waking up to 40 points from my #2 WR.
Serena won her third straight WTA, but it doesn’t diminish that she should probably exit stage left after the ass whipping Halep put on her a couple weeks ago.
SO hard to pull an Elway and retire on top. You are as close as you will get, Serena. Do it.
I forget what the MSU-UM game score was, but I do know the coach UM let walk won a conference game and scored 59 points.
Go to gay bars, guys. I walk in with Lindsey, they know I am straight after 2.5 seconds, but I still get screwdrivers that barely look like they have OJ in them.
28 points. More Easy Cheese. I might have to take a bathroom break. This is unbelievable.
I never have had a dream of being a fly. I like the first Fly movie though with Jeff Goldblum. That being said. I would LOVE to have been a fly in the Bears locker room after getting gangstered by the Pats today.
I hate you with all my heart, Jay Cutler. Except for the fact you went to my second choice for schools.
I think it is incredible that the guy who got a 49 on the Wonderlic has the most badass beard in the NFL and he is a QB. Freaking awesome.
I went to a school that is kind of smart. I am proud of that. I love our football coach, Mike London. All that being said, nice on the fact that UNC surprising us with an onsides kick and making us looking like stupid people. Not sure how you don’t see that possibly happening ever since Sean Payton doing it to start the second half in the Super Bowl. Come on.
Easy Cheese AGAIN. 34-10 and it is not even halftime. I might be constipated tomorrow.
For the record, I just collect criminals on my fantasy team. I had A.P and Shonn Greene on my fantasy team initially. Glad to know they are BOTH convicts.
If you live in Tampa Bay, all you have to do is call all of your teammates “soft” and then you get a $98 million contract.
I need friends. I am like Love You, Man. I want to tell SOMEONE about how I feel about the Steelers right now, but I don’t think anyone cares…and Lindsey is asleep. I need a sounding board, or to have people like me. Dammit.
Rush is so awesome. Cancel out everyone else and let’s just listen to Neil.
Real Madrid beat Barcelona. On my list, so reporting it, but seems just wrong considering what is going on in front of me right now.
I am only going to say this once. Get your own blog with time stamps if you doubt my info. I write for the public, and firmly said how WRONG that South Carolina point spread was. I don’t bet, but I might have bet my Jeep. I hope someone got it. I am a good person to know.
Your first question should be is “how many people actually read this thing?” My response? “More than you think, less than that should, and more than any blog where the person writing isn’t doing anything to promote it and just…writes.”
I think it is funny when things go wrong with UNC because of my buddy, Vince. But, I hope Roy Williams isn’t involved at all. Love that guy. So, southern accent genuine.
Not sure how offering a high school football championship makes up for a shooting at the other school, but I will leave it alone. Nice gesture.
Hey, Kobe. Thanks for praising Steve Nash. Nash might have been hurt for a lot of the years playing with him, but still pretty sure you deferring some of that massive contract you have could have brought in some legit talent. I love MJ. I respectfully hate Kobe. You shouldn’t be ranked 40th in the NBA, but you shouldn’t net $25 million either.
But, on that note, Ms. Buss can shut the HELL up. She is like the unlikable version of Schultz. She knows NOTHING.
Hogan’s Heroes is a close third after Seinfeld and Cheers.
I feel like I will be 50 years old and still hearing about Shipley’s playing at Texas.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First Hunger Games commercial. Boom. I am so in.
Suarez is back, and amazingly there have been no teeth stories.
I am surprised his dentist hasn’t become famous.
So, If I am in a high position at the PGA, I assume that I should stay off Twitter and not mess with a guy who wins 75% of his Ryder Cup matches.
Why exactly is Oregon playing on a Friday night? Isn’t that football night reserved for Santa Clara and directional schools?
Nice 5 TD’s Mariota.
I don’t have the time or energy to comment locally on “broncos burying hiding from cops boyett.”
I probably would have gone a drunk roadrunner route, but that is neither here nor there.
Debbie, I am 40 pages from completing Inferno. It was good, got weird and made me roll my eyes, and now has reeled me back in for the finish. Franz Liszt is involved.
And HE is the bomb.
And looks like an ass like me…
Yes, Ross. Going to Elitches is still fun. The only thing worse than acting exactly like your age is being embarrassed about acting 30 years less than it. I excel at being immature. Very immature. And I have lots of fun. And I win those age contests at Elitches.
I wonder how much Ozzy Osbourne makes every time Crazy Train plays at a game.
The Dodgers say Mattingly will be back. Well, it definitely isn’t HIS fault. Fire a GM if you really know what is going on.
Just Like Paradise was one of my favorite songs from the 80’s, and I am pretty sure David Lee Roth and I could compete for who is liked less in their world. Awesome song.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4qh_9vH1Ww
His advantage is he made about $40 million dollars more than me and had a voice.
Holy shit, people. I am on #81 and I have a full piece of paper left. We have a problem.
Never mind. Lindsey said start wrapping it up.
Finally halftime. First game in like 20 years where BOTH QB’s are above 250 yards BEFORE halftime. It is 4:10pm. We are just NOW going into halftime. This is nuts. SO glad I am blogging DURING. This game might go until 630. Can’t imagine starting my blog AFTER..
I think I would follow Brian Urlacher into a wall, and I also agree that Jay Cutler is a pansy.
Lindsey looks kind of like Lita Ford when she is having a bad day after partying. It is sexy. She wasn’t even an 80’s girl.
Lesile Frazier says he still loves Percy Harvin and A.P. So, I am awaiting a legal infringement from Leslie Frazier very soon. I did think his departure from Chicago was weird, and odd that he supports those two guys.
Thomas #1 and Thomas #2 aren’t going anywhere as long as Peyton is healthy. Tabling the contract talks is not a bad idea.
Lindsey is in charge of…most things. We just found out that HBO demand has had Game of Thrones the whole time. I think it is the first time I have thought of really being mad at Lindsey in a while. Long while. Thought we needed NetFlix for it. I might start watching this water cooler hip thing tonight.
Lindsey just brought over this snack plate…that is ridiculous. What a woman…even when she is sick. It has everything on it.
The Russian Tennis director apologized to Serena and Venus. Here is my opinion after 41 years. I am not dumb. Apologizing is cool and I respect it. What you said initially is probably what you feel. Go back to your sheltered life. I feel bad for you. You are racist and just making things “better.”
Easy Cheese celebration. 42 points. Wow, this Martavis Bryant WR kid is going to be really, really good.
I didn’t hear about the Blake Griffin TAO incident. I DID hear about the Blake Griffin TAO incident. And now, I DON’T hear about the Blake Griffin TAO incident. I have a feeling someone got paid off.
I am glad he is ok, but I have a feeling Kevin Kolb is a blast to have beers with…even with his concussions. Maybe we BOTH won’t remember the night.
That Jake guy from Nightcrawler is going to win the Oscar. I would give it to him just from the short previews.
It is 4:38pm and there is still 10 minutes left in the third quarter.
I am glad the Lions are telling us now it won’t happen, but I didn’t know that Suh was on the market.
The NFL trade deadline is SO boring ever since the Walker trade.
Don’t tell Mr. Royal that I am not sure if the middle picture in the Titans QB story is a famous actor from a dude movie or not. Not totally sure. Lindsey and I discussed it for 10 minutes today.
It was a school night, and maybe I have heard about it before. Maybe I even blogged about it. But the Tyson cartoon thing is REAL???????
I loved Brickleberry when it first came out. I admit to squirming here and there on some of their jokes these days. Take Family Guy and multiply by 1000. Vicious.
Did anyone else see Phillip Rivers yell into his helmet on Thursday? Lindsey brought it up, and I admit when I watched it that it was exactly like she said.
Dumb and Dumber To in the short previews still looks dumb to me. I will need some coercing to go see it in the theater.
You are welcome, Denver, for Emmanuel Sanders. Three TD’s.
You are welcome, Emmanuel, as I assume most people would want Mr. Manning to be tossing to them.
I was going to have more notes on the Broncos game, but I turned it off. Bottom line. I had more faith in how that game was going down more than these local Bronco fans.
Do the Broncos play the Pats next week? Back to being a hater.
I seriously might finish this Easy Cheese in three hours.
I did 4 hours of engagement photos yesterday. Do you know me? Avery and Chloe, if it wasn’t you guys, I wouldn’t have survived no matter how much I love my woman. Our photos will be dope but that was a long day.
I love flowcharts. I will pay $10 for a flow chart with a FULL breakdown of the Winston situation, including the new judge background information. Email me. I am friendly.
Ickey Woods commercial on again. 42-27. I still laughed.
Michigan will lower their student ticket prices in 2015. It reminds me of that Mad TV thing. “Lowered Expectations.”
I am wondering if RGIII will be one of the best trivia questions about 50 years from now.
The only reason I am happy about the PA HS football team getting shut down for hazing is it took the heat off Sayreville and more Jersey jokes.
Have you looked at the percentage of QB’s in the NFL to break Peyton’s TD record? It DOES take the heat off of reading the percentages of MLB pitchers reaching 300 wins though.
Read the John Boyett story. Start to finish. After this longest game of all time. It is 5:02 and we are not into the 4^th QTR yet. I don’t care. I have nowhere to go.
Have to include this. Ponto, thank you, but I admit it wasn’t as funny as I was hoping. So, just remember A) George Brett is the SHIT and B) shitting your pants stories are funny I guess anytime.http://deadspin.com/5052185/george-brett-would-like-to-tell-you-about-that-time-he-pooped-his-pants
I get the feeling that John Wick might be good. It might take a few months for us to get past Bill and Ted’s and 100 other travesty’s, but let’s give him a chance.
He does just LOOK goofy though. I get it.
Eliminate the 2-3-2 in ALL sports. I don’t care about travel costs. 2-2-1-1-1 is more fair.
The Royals will still win. They win tonight, lose Game 6, and then take it in 7 games.
I appreciate Paul Allen having $100 million underneath his mattress, but are we really “fighting” Ebloa at this point? Aren’t like only 6 people infected?
I love how Peyton gets mad at NO one. But when a scoreboard operator pisses him off, he TELLS us. I seriously LOVE that guy.
NJ has sports gambling. NJ doesn’t have it. That state is so jacked up. So glad I transplanted to CO.
That is adorable. LeBron is allowing social media to decide on the chalk toss thing. We can’t go a day without Cavs media exposure and we are not even yet in season.
Speaking of…Anderson Va%^&%^^# won the starting center spot. I spell Tristan Thompson much better, but I get the chemistry.
You caught me at a bad moment Saturday, but I stand by my text. Logan. I am…kind of my own thing. No long hook about this.
If you made it through all of this, I am sending out those head scratching devices that seem so simple, but really feel really good. Colors: orange and blue or black and gold. These are those wire things that stretch over your head.
Holy snokes. I am going back for fun pictures, but that is it, and there is still 14:00 minutes left in this game. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro.