You have clearance, Clarence.
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
The bonus blog. Not many of these, but since I missed the entire weekend, Lindsey is painting a side room, I am watching hockey, I don’t do work this late, and since I have surplus hooks from the weekend, I thought I would blog. For those of you getting the daily dose, this is NOT it. Please scroll down for the day rant.
Let’s turn and burn for as long as this hockey game goes or my bed time is exceeded (which is only about 90 minutes from now).
EMAIL: mark_filler@hotmail.com
TWITTER: @fillerbuster11
1) Hockey is tough to watch for me. In football, there are 20 second breaks. In basketball, there are stoppages in play. In baseball, there are outs and LOTS of downtime. In hockey, you can have an hour of nothing and then the most exciting play of the season. It is like tough soccer. Luckily, the end of the third period is coming, giving me rant time. When I say “tough,” I mean it is exciting because of what you DON’T expect to happen. Positive, and there is nothing harder to win than the Stanley Cup. Also, lucky, that I can ALMOST type while looking at the TV.
2) I feel like the blogger trying to dribble the basketball without looking at it as a kid. Mr. Hutchings taught me that when I was 8. He was also the basketball camp that made me fall in love with diluted Gatorade. Red or Lime.
3) Once again, this is a CLEARANCE blog…rarely done. I am just clearing this list I always carry around for a reasonable amount of hooks for THIS weekend. That means still killing about 50 ideas.
4) I WANT to talk about the US Open, and how worried I am about Tiger’s first grouping, but that is for TOMORROW. By the way, Rory and Adam are not eager to be grouped with Tiger either. In soccer terms, that is the “group of death.” One year and we get to use that phrase again.
5) Shout out to my boy, Chris. You are looking for tennis, but we have none right now. Anyway, one week, bro, and you know what I mean. Congrats.
6) Clearance rack. Here we go. Eagles WR DeSean Jackson fired agent Drew Rosenhaus. I care about this as much as I care about Michael Vick’s present pet situation.
7) Hey, Donovan McNabb. RG III doesn’t want to talk to you. Your claims to fame are throwing to Marvin Harrison in college and being the poor man’s version of Jim Kelly (losing a lot late). I think he is good without your guidance. Good luck with that HOF thing.
8) Seriously, check out the band Imagine Dragons. Lindsey got me into them, and I am doing the musical version of Pay It Forward to everyone I talk to.
9) I don’t know why this popped on my blog list, but for the record, Halle Berry, Rhianna, Megan Fox, that chick from Big Bang Theory, and Charlize Theron. Belinda Carlisle will always be #1 if we are talking about in their prime.
10) My colleague Ponto teases me all the time about it, but I seriously might have the ugliest right big toe in the world among people who are not homeless.
11) Thanks to UVA for making me not care about the CWS as much, as they dropped the series to Miss. St. I ALMOST had something to do after the NBA and NHL Finals. Now I can hike, camp, go to Water World, raft, etc.
12) Shout out to Scott and Emily. Lindsey and I get to see them and their little one in Santa Barbara in about three weeks. Word.
13) It is awesome that my relationship “sacrifice” is attending a Phillies game live in CO rather than blending in with my couch watching the US Open. Something tells me that I will a new app on my phone by Sunday morning involving golf.
14) Fights. Homers. Hits. I think I am bitter that Dodgers Yasiel Puig is stealing some thunder from Phils Domonic Brown.
15) Callahan says he is calling the plays for the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones won’t confirm. We have the Jets covering the East Coast for idiots, the Cowboys covering the Midwest and South, and I guess we will have to suffice with the Seahawks drug players on the West Coast.
16) If Trent Richardson is actually hurt, it will continue the trend of college RB’s going out of the top 10 or 20. Short shelf life. Hell, I believe even UVA’s Thomas Jones was drafted 5th. I didn’t check that on Google, but I believe I am close.
17) Japan is the first team to qualify for the World Cup and now I am getting excited officially. I also still realize I don’t have the money to go yet. Dammit.
18) I am still going though. Somehow. I have been talking about this for three years.
19) We are in OT in the hockey game. I am getting the feeling this game will be going on for a while.
20) Ohio State Gordon Gee stepped down. Me and those damn Catholics are sad today.
21) I pretend to laugh at Coach purses because they are apparently ridiculously expensive. I have personally almost fainted in a Coach store. Anyway, they make baseball gloves too. I must have fainted before I saw those things, and the ad in the ESPN Mag is the only reason I know this. “Relative” respect.
22) Cool article in ESPN Mag about someone figuring out they own the oldest hockey stick in the world. https://twitter.com/ESPNMag/status/336512056620642304
23) Check out the whole article. It is short and interesting.
24) The Brittney Griner and Mike Tyson articles were AWESOME by the way. Brittney is now a badass in my eyes and Mike Tyson is the best version of whipped out there in the world.
25) Thanks to the woman at The Cantina, my local watering hole (and the best place EVER-11th and Lincoln), for sitting by herself and fake yelling out in the back room, making sure we knew that A)she was a Rockies fan B) she knew what was going on.
26) I need to quit my blog. I have noticed my reading book time on planes is totally negated by writing this thing. I love it, but just feel like I could read The Great Gatsby again before watching the thing or maybe that sales book my boss Katrina bought us. Damn.
27) The Hawks were fined for “tampering.” The Hawks have also been fined for being the same level of team for the last three years and us not understanding how improvement is impossible.
28) This is the clearance rant. Do I need to tell you about Bama basketball players kidnapping 6 year old kids, or are you all good on that? Moving on. They are fresh off a golf championship.
29) I know my lady only loves football. I LOVE that. She barely mentioned the women’s college CWS win, says she gets irritated at work listening to her not knowledgeable male coworkers talk basketball after she watched a game with me the night before, and is SO excited for another year of Sooner football. Bad. Ass. Chick.
30) Dennis Rodman says that LeBron James would be average back in his era. First of all, Dennis. Feel free to go back to North Korea. Second, with help from my friend Vince, are we talking like average All Star? Mitch Richmond in a bad year, Bryant Stith in a good year, or a taller Mugsy Bogues? You are ridiculous, and are adorable.
31) How are we debating a London NFL team? This is just a once a year thing, right?
32) Since Frank Thomas has said that he wants no PED guys in the HOF, I was wondering if the cycling committee could take a break on Armstrong and get HIS B sample.
33) I like you Frank, but I wouldn’t be proactive about dissing people. You are BARELY a HOF guy.
34) I wish I was Mark Cuban. He has extra money to fund the “flopping study” by the NBA. Mark. Send me money. I just need a plane ticket and $1000 spending cash for Brazil.
35) Brett Favre has come out and said he was at fault for the Packers fallout. In other news, the sky is blue and the grass is green.
36) I keep getting confused. So, there is a movie about the White House being down AND WWZ coming out? Is Independence Day 2 coming out also? Oh, that is right. Will Smith was too busy making I am Legend II/ that movie with his kid.
37) OK. I am upfront. I will go to the theater to see 2 Guns. Denzel and Marky Mark? Sorry. It could be a horrible script. Boom goes the dynamite. Make sure you catch Book of Eli a some point.
38) Hey, Old Navy. What is a “compression crop?” I just saw a commercial on it.
39) I thought it was $10k to enter the WSOP. I THOUGHT I saw something about it only being $1500. Which is it? This answer might change my plans for next year.
40) Oh. That is right. I will be going to the World Cup. My hypothetical schedule if I have money is SO packed for 2014.
41) VERY cool of the Red Sox for having Jason Collins throw the first pitch in a game. I assume he had his phone on right after that to see IF he is still an NBA player.
42) Ha. I had on this old list that “Belichick doesn’t hate Tebow.” That is funny after what just happened. Guess you don’t, Bill.
43) Gatlin beat Bolt by .01. This is IMPORTANT if we cared about sprinting outside the Olympics. This is the same deal as swimming and track and field. Every 4 years.
44) Clearance, Clarence.
45) Ump ejects someone AFTER game is over. Thanks, DS. http://deadspin.com/tony-randazzo-ejected-mike-aviles-from-a-game-that-was-511364830
46) I have heard Julie Hermann speak twice. I have no idea how she gets hired even IF we didn’t know about her past crazy shit.
47) David West wants to stay with the Pacers. This is smart. He is ALSO imagining Danny Granger being healthy on that team next year. Him and George would be SCARY. Right after the Heat lose to the Spurs.
48) My buddy, Ponto, is a tough guy who plays disc golf. He is a big guy. He also cared about the French Open. We both did Courtcast for it and updated each other in between calls. He also made a funny comment. I think someone should TRY and do tennis play by play on the radio. Soak it in. It is funny. “And he hits an inside out forehand from the right corner…” Ponto is a funny guy.
49) We are going into double OT and Lindsey is still painting. These are the times I realize how much I love blogging.
50) Who needs a joke? Fight at amputee charity soccer match. http://deadspin.com/fight-breaks-out-at-amputee-soccer-match-for-charity-511234801
51) Rockets Chandler Parsons was asked to a prom. He declined, and then sent THIS to her prom. http://deadspin.com/chandler-parsons-sent-a-girl-to-prom-on-a-party-bus-511224517
52) Manager just sits down after being ejected. http://deadspin.com/triple-a-manager-just-plops-himself-down-in-infield-aft-511259331
53) I had just talked about this before they posted this. They get paid for it and have time to write things, but the sentiment was the same. Milton Bradley (not the board game). Boom goes the dynamite. http://deadspin.com/milton-bradleys-mlb-career-as-told-by-wife-beating-he-511268558
54) I am worried that Stephen Strasburg is going to be the baseball version of Tracy McGrady. Seriously.
55) Thank you, Karl Malone, for including MJ in you starting lineup. I am glad that your acid trip is over.
56) Mizz Michael Dixon is transferring to Memphis. You don’t care. I get it. In Memphis, after losing Tarik Black to Kansas, THEY care.
57) Bama and Louisville got APR honors TOO? Basketball, football, golf? At least I can say that UVA was the #1 party school last year. Take THAT and rewind it back.
58) Can you IMAGINE ordering Tom Brady and getting Tim Tebow? http://deadspin.com/some-poor-soul-ordered-a-tom-brady-fathead-got-tim-teb-511520403
59) You might have seen the man running over the kid on a home run ball. Cool. My buddy, Brian, sent me this, which one upped it. The RANKINGS of when you can run over a kid. Classic. http://www.happyplace.com/24353/man-knocks-over-kid-to-get-to-home-run-ball
60) The Astors drafted #1 pick P Appel. I was just glad that Paltrow’s kid wasn’t that old already OR spelled in that manner.
61) Cowboy killer Brent got busted for weed after being suspected of alcohol. Nothing like killing your teammate and then shooting for the cycle. Sorry, Josh. You are on your own for acid.
62) Dr. J said that the Sixers got a raw deal on Andrew Bynum. He is right, but the dude is still young and 7,000 feet tall. He is like the tall, crazy version of JJ Redick. He will ALWAYS have a job.
63) That is it. List is cleared. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
This hockey game is still going on. AWESOME.